The Start Of Something Sinister
by A E Q U O R I N
Summary: A dream can make a person insane, a simple imagination can tear at the solid ground at one's feet, even make one's grip on reality become loose and unstable, and that is what happened to Len Kagamine. A boy who let his dreams get the better of him, a boy who never wanted to wake up... A/N: Not intended for younger audiences. Directed towards ages 17 and up.
1. Chapter 1: The Dream

**The Start of Something Sinister:**

**Chapter 1: The Dream**

A dream can make a person insane, a simple imagination can tear at the solid ground at one's feet, even make one's grip on reality become loose and unstable, and that is what happened to Len Kagamine. A boy who let his silly dreams get the better of him, a boy who never wanted to wake up.

There were shoulders, slim shivering shoulders with the slight hint of pink on each of them, there was flaxen hair, the laugh of someone who was obviously beautiful and the smell of flower petals on a warm summer evening. He looked up from his sprawled-out position on the grass to stare at this faceless creature before him, she was so familiar, yet so distant, he couldn't put his finger on it, but in his heart he knew what it was. Her sweet voiced echoed ghostly against the grassy backdrop which seemed to blend effortlessly into to the temperate air.

"Leeen~ come over heeere~! Loook~ it's a ladybug!" the unknown girl stated excitedly.

He smiled at her sudden discovery and skipped blissfully towards her.

"Where did you find it?" he questioned, grinning at her blurred face for an answer placing each palm on his knees for stability.

"On my ankle! Eeek! It's crawling up! Take it off Len!" the fragile girl squealed, enjoying the presence of her new company.

He looked at her ankles, so peachy and youthful, not a blemish in sight and then he saw the lady bug, climbing from her delicate ankles to the top side of her calves, he paused.

"Why are you shivering? Are you cold?" he asked.

Her obscured features seemed to smile and she said, "No….it's because you're here..."

At this comment Len immediately turned away unable to meet her fuzzy faceless gaze. His cheeks seemed to burn with the heat of the summer sun beating down on them and they remained this way for a while, sitting next to each other unable to make eye contact.

"Ah! Len it's on my thigh now. Um if you don't mind, can you um, take it off for me please?" she whispered shyly.

He looked at her thigh at her command and instantly regretted it, this was too much for an adolescent in the midst of his teenage years to handle. His heart began to palpitate madly, his cerulean pupils dilated, and his palms grew sweaty. He braced himself for contact with her flesh by sharply inhaling the air, closing his eyes tightly before reaching for her tender leg. She jolted at his touch and in an instant the bug was gone.

"Thank you." she exclaimed gently brushing her golden hair behind her ears.

With the flick of her wrist, her white dress strap that was the only thing holding her clothing up...fell down her shoulder, revealing a thin wing-like collar bone.

His eyes darted instinctively to this newly revealed part of her body, and through this action came further awkward silences that was broken by her suddenly stating, "How come you never say my name?"

This simple question was disturbing enough to wake Len from his slumber, startled by his inability to answer his dream girl, how vivid this nighttime delusion was and how real she seemed. He still remembered the touch of her soft skin beneath his fingertips, how she trembled not because of the wind or the ladybug on her ankle, but because of his presence. But the thing that haunted him the most about this dream was that no matter how many times he's had it, no matter what small details change, one aspect never does, her face is always a complete and total _blur_.

"This is pissing me off, why can't I ever see her face?" Len whined ruffling his blonde hair violently hoping it would calm him down.

"Ugh, this is going to annoy the crap outa' me for the rest of the damn day." he sighed rolling lazily out of his bed while rubbing his stomach.

"What's going to bother you for the rest of the day?" Rin said poking her head through the crack between his bedroom door and the wall.

"Nothing, why are you in my room anyways?" he proclaimed angrily, throwing a pillow at her face, but luckily her fast reflexes caught it.

"Why are you in such a bad mood? Mom just told me to wake you up so we can all eat breakfast together." she announced crossing her arms defensively against her chest.

"Whatever. Just get out, I'm going to change already." he mumbled, still rubbing his stomach.

She frowned heatedly at this moody response and exclaimed crossly, "Well hurry up! I don't want us to be late for school again."

She then left his room in a fury, slamming the door behind her and made her temper clear by stomping all the way down the stairs, something Len found extremely maddening.

"Why oh why must I have a twin sister that is as aggravating as hell?!" he yelled while aggressively dressing himself and packing his school supplies.

He then sat down with a loud thump at the dinner table and threw his bag on top of his sister's orange satchel with a smirk. Rin glared at him for doing so but did not bother to remove his bag off hers.

"_Someone's_ in a bad mood this morning." his mother announced then persisted to say after placing a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him, "Did you have a bad dream honey?"

"No, it's nothing." Len muttered bashing his sunny-side-up eggs with his fork unable to look his mother in the eyes.

"It's a bad dream Mom, he said quote: 'It's going to annoy the crap outa' me for the rest of the day!'" Rin mocked returning the same smirk he gave her earlier.

"Rin, don't provoke your brother." their father said, throwing her his icy sharp blue gaze as a warning to quit the quarreling.

"Do good at school!" their mother yelled to them at their front door step, as they left for the train.

"Bye bye!" Rin smiled as she gave her mother a gentle wave back.

"Common, walk faster, you don't want to be late again right?" Len muttered heatedly.

"Man, what is with you today?! You're being a real jerk you know that?" she said hopping in front of him while avoiding the cracks on the sidewalk.

Rin then grinned at him and stated, "I'm going to go ahead. -Since you're being a negative Nancy at the moment."

She then dashed to the train station six blocks down the street.

"YOU _IDIOT_! We're supposed to go to school together! You're a girl remember?! And there could be pedophiles on the train!" he screamed running to catch up to her. She was fast, but he was faster, plus he was in track so he caught up easily.

"Oh, I didn't know Mr. Moody was so worried about me!" she beamed walking backwards to meet his stare. She tilted her head gently to the side and a tiny grin grazed the cherry edges of her lips.

"I….I'm not worried, it's just that if something happened to you, Mom and Dad would kill me." he explained.

She sulked at his reasons for why he protected her and sighed, "Whatever you say Len."

The train ride felt abnormally long to him this morning and it only made it worse that Miku, Rin's best friend had been there chatting with her the whole time, not even once inviting him into their conversation making him feel like a loner despite sitting in between them.

"Okay then, see you later Len! Oh, and improve your mood or you'll never get a girlfriend with that gloomy attitude of yours." his sister declared, throwing her orange satchel over her shoulder.

"Actually I think you're wrong Rin. Len's gloominess can be attractive to some girls. It's like _ooh_ he's so _mysterious_ and _stoic_! I want to see him smile." Miku clarified putting her hand under her chin.

"Ewe, I don't think that's attractive in a guy at all." Rin said pretending to gag by hovering her index finger just outside her mouth.

"Of course you don't because that type is your twin brother." Miku announced flicking her long turquoise hair behind her.

"Not only that, but your brother is pretty cute, I mean his face is really feminine, but still has those square features that a man has. He has a rare combination of both." she said while surveying Len's body while he walked to the school entrance.

"If you like him so much why don't _you_ go out with him Miku?" Rin asked.

_After all,_ she thought, _It would be good for Len to finally get a girlfriend and stop moping around the house_.

"Oh I probably _would_, but he's too damn short for me. Plus I already have someone I like, Kaito remember? He's so dreamy I could just melt like ice cream!" she sighed placing her hands on each cheek whilst gawking dreamily into the distance.

Rin never knew why her older twin never seemed to have an interest in the opposite gender. He was always brooding especially against girls who found interest in him, though she never knew as to why. She couldn't deny Len's popularity with the girls at school, being even one of the favorites perhaps. What she couldn't decide was when he started to become so detached from her, always avoiding her being whenever she came near, constantly saying that, "It's always going to be on my mind".

_What is always going to be on his mind?_ Rin wondered. Surely he didn't have a girlfriend without telling anyone, especially his only sibling? Siblings are _supposed_ to be able to confide in each other, but not for the twins it seemed.

_Why can't he trust me_? _We used to be inseparable, attached at the very hip, of the exact same soul_, Rin questioned. Pondering these thoughts only made her more depressed. Everyone else had a splendid relationship with their family, even if they might fight sometimes like when Gumi and Gumo tease each other openly at school or when Mikuo pulls Miku's long hair when she's courting Kaito. They all appeared to be happy even though they have occasional bickering. However with Rin and Len it was like having two socks of a pair that always seemed to evade each other when doing laundry: a couple with the partner always lost or missing.

"Rin! Riiiiiin!" someone stated breaking Rin from her reverie.

She awoke from her daydreams about sibling problems to find all her friends staring at her with clear amusement and disbelief in their eyes, each one with their face dangerously close.

"Oh my god! Was I snoring or something you guys?" Rin yelled blushing a vivid peach pink, her golden locks disheveled on the top of her head, and her white bow limply holding above her brow.

"Not _exactly_. I'm pretty sure people don't sleep with their eyes open. We all thought you had gone into a comatose state! We tugged at your hair and pinched you, but it was like you couldn't even see us!" Luka announced brushing her pink bangs out of her eyes while laying her hand with concern on her hip.

"Really? That is so _weird_. I was just thinking is all." Rin mumbled with embarrassment back.

"Thinking about what?" Gumi asked lifting her orange tinted glasses to squint at Rin. Gumi was always the one to ask questions and always tried to resolve things even without anyone asking.

"Oh you know, just regular things, like when is it going to rain, or what is the new episode of Cardcaptor Sakura going to be about, or if my brother hates me." she muttered.

"You think your brother hates you? But I thought you guys were…you _know_, in good terms with each other." Miku asked, twirling one of her ponytails into a small knot with her index finger.

"Yeah, I thought so too. You guys are twins so you should, already have a bond or something right?" Luka concluded then continued to say, "I'm sure he doesn't hate you or anything. He's just going through some weird teenage angst phase. We all go through it at least once in our lives."

"Thanks guys, you're probably right. I'm looking into it too much I guess." Rin said happily, yet the curvature of her smile only seemed to indicate sadness.

**Meanwhile during lunch at the boys table at the very same time...**

"Dude you've got to be kidding me! Miku hasn't put out yet? Man if I were you I'd be going crazy right about now. I'm glad me and Luka fuck whenever we feel like it." Gakupo proclaimed, talking a bite out of his tempura roll.

"Shut up Gakupo, it isn't that simple. Miku is different, she's not like other girls I've dated before, I don't know...there's just something different with her and me." Kaito stated, placing his hands together and resting them on his face.

"Fucking shit, I think I'm in love with her." he said almost in a whisper, and even though his intertwining hands covered most of his face, the red tinge that developed was still visible on the edges of his cheeks.

There was silence at the table than a sudden deluge of laughter and mocking. The boys smacked Kaito's shoulders playfully and nudged him in his seat harassing him for his declaration of love.

"Mr. Sensitive I see. What- she _sucked_ your dick until you decided that she was _the one_?" Kiyotero said sarcastically placing a pocky stick in his mouth in a forward and backward motion. All the boys laughed except for Kaito and Mikuo.

"Hey you four-eyed asshole! That's _my_ little sister you're talking about! Shut your mouth before I do it for you." Mikuo announced heatedly, glaring at the dark brown haired boy with glasses who still had a look that hinted disrespectfulness in his ebony eyes.

"Hey now guys, calm down, he doesn't really mean it. Well congratulations Kaito on falling in love! A feat not many people go through. Now, _if only I can get a cute girlfriend_." Gumo declared easing the tension. The olive haired kid always knew how to disperse the beginnings of a full on brawl, a trait he shared with his little sister Gumi.

"I don't know why you guys are so worked up about these girls. They're just people like us, they are _no different_ from anyone else." Len finally spoke, still keeping his eyes on his food.

"That's easy for you to say, all the girls like you! They think you're cute." Gumo responded, then he imitated some girls from class saying, "Oh my gaaawd Len is just sooooo effin' hott you guyyyyys." He even stood up and made his hand dangle while he talked and extended his words to sound like a valley girl.

"Oh! That reminds me. You guys all know the Blue Moon Festival is coming up soon right? I can't wait to see all the cute girls from school all done up in their kimonos! Should we wear yukatas this year or just wear regular clothes?" Mikuo suddenly brought up sneering at the thought that underneath these garments was mostly uncovered skin.

"Well, I'm definitely wearing my all-black one. I want Luka to think, 'holy-shit Kamui looks cool'." Gakupo finally said breaking the silence, then closed his eyes imagining her thrilled face.

"I think I'm going to wear mine too. I think Miku wants us to be matching. Which sounds lame I _KNOW_, but maybe it will make her like me more, who knows right? Maybe wearing similar kimonos will get her in the mood or something." Kaito muttered rubbing the back of his neck while his blue bangs covered his self-conscious lowered eyes. There was a red flush of blood that was becoming more and more apparent as it started to take over his face for the second time.

"So you're a man _after all_ you sly dog! You had this up your sleeve the whole time didn't you?" Gakupo jeered slapping him hard on the back causing Kaito to choke on the sudden loss of air.

"Hey, if you hurt her or make her cry, we aren't going to be friends anymore, other than that, I have no problem with your relationship with her." Mikuo stated matter of factly. Kaito smiled at his approval and nodded a 'thanks'.

"Hey Len? You've been awful quiet. If one of us was dating your little sister would you care?" Mikuo asked with a kind and curious tone in his voice.

"No, not really. It's none of _my business_ anyway who she dates or whatever. I really couldn't care less." Len replied in a monotone voice, still looking at his food. His azure eyes appeared to be thinking about something the boys weren't talking about.

"You say that now but one day, when you least expect it, it'll happen, and then you'll start to worry. Then you'll wonder why you're worrying, then get _angry _about why you care. The thing is you care because you _love_ her. It's kinda' your job to worry about the guy she's dating you know?" Mikuo continued, smiling all the while, only a smile a concerned and earnest big brother could have.

"No Mikuo I _really don't know_ what you mean. But I can see why _you might_. It's just not on _my top list of things__to worry about_, that's all." the sulky blond replied.

"Well you three should be thankful you have little sisters. I am an only child. My days as a kid were pretty boring." Kiyoteru abruptly said, looking thoughtfully at Len through his thick, black rimmed glasses.

"Hey look Gumo. Here comes a sister now." Mikuo gleefully stated and pointed to the short green-haired girl coming closer.

Gumi was clasping her stomach and her emerald eyes were red in the areas that should've been white.

When she finally got to their table she said, "Gumo, can you take me to the nurses office? I don't _feel _so good. I think I ate something with peanuts in it." she said mumbling and swallowing back her indigestion face.

"Ah crap! Um guys, it looks like I gotta' go- can one of you tell homeroom teacher next period I had to take my sister home because she was sick? Thanks!" Gumo said panting as he got his backpack, stuffed his half eaten lunch in it, and ran grabbing Gumi's wrist then darting for the nurses' office down the hallway from the cafeteria.

"Like I said. It must be fun to have someone who needs you _even if it is for annoying__things_ like that." Kiyoteru claimed, holding peeled oranges in one hand and with his other gesturing at where Gumi and Gumo had run off to.

"Well if you want someone to need you, get a girlfriend Kiyoteru! Girls always want their boyfriends to do stuff for them." Kaito suggested, he then went on to say, "Sometimes Miku just wants me there, for no reason at all. It's kind of fun, uh, I mean, when things get spontaneous." Kaito finished blushing once again.

"Ugghh, I can't believe you think my sister is cute. Blegggghh." Mikuo declared sticking out his tongue and squinting one of his eyes.

The rest of the evening was uneventful for both the boys and girls, and like another school day, it ended with the sun beginning to set on the beach horizon with a new tint of violet alluding to the upcoming summer just a few days away.

The last bell rang signaling the end of school and a flurry of adolescents exited the iron gates all talking about the Blue Moon Festival that was to take place that Saturday. Len promptly waited for Rin at the institution's entrance so that they could take the train home together. As he watched his sister skip blissfully towards him with a cheerful smile on her face, he noticed something about her he had never seen before. Under the light of the setting sun, her sapphire eyes appeared amethyst, and her peachy skin seemed to be emitting a glow that floated all around her.

He must've been gaping with his mouth open because Rin suddenly stopped smiling and said with frightened eyes, "Is there something on me Len?"

She began to pat her pleated skirt and knee high socks, brushing off what she thought to be an insect on her somewhere. Len watched her frantically look herself over searching for this imaginary insect, and he began to laugh at her adorableness. He had forgotten how childish Rin was, how carefree, how beautiful….

It was a laugh Rin hadn't heard since they were little so she immediately stopped her search and stated in a quiet voice, "I wish I heard you laugh more like that Len." Her eyes looked full of tenderness and she smiled almost sadly at him, her arched brows made her look like she was about to cry.

Len turned away from her and said, "I only laugh if I really want to, not just because everyone else does it all the time and I'm supposed to follow their actions to fit in."

She continued to look at him affectionately, hoping to break the wall he had built around him, but he didn't return her gaze and asked rather apathetically, "Common. Let's go before we miss the train again." He then turned his back towards her and walked out of the school yard.

Rin strolled silently behind him, observing her older twin brother. She watched the broadness of his shoulders shift lightly as he moved, the nape of his neck that was so much longer and thicker now than her own, his short flaxen ponytail, which appeared to be growing, and his arms that were once identical to hers were now lengthy and covered in a lean muscle. She stopped walking and just stared at his figure getting farther away, the figure that was unable to notice that the light sound of footsteps behind him had disappeared.

_When did we become so different? When did you become...so like a man Len? I still look like I did two years ago, but you're changing faster than I am, will I be left behind in this aspect as well?_

It was only when Len got to the train station and was about to swipe his card that he became aware that Rin wasn't trailing behind him like she usually did. Immediate panic and fear flooded his veins and adrenaline kicked in. His breathing became unsteady and his hands trembled, he felt like someone had knocked the wind from his lungs when he realized something bad might've happened to her _under his watch_.

_Shit! Shit! SHIT! I should've known something was wrong! She was looking at me like_ _she was going to cry, like something wasn't right! FUCKING SHIT! _Len thought crossly at himself, biting his lower lip enough to make it bleed. _Where could she have gone?!_


	2. Chapter 2: Just Like Old Times

_**Chapter 2: Just Like Old Times**_

Len was frantic, paranoid even, he had seen many girls on the train be harassed before simply because they were alone, so to not know where Rin was, considering she was nowhere near the station terminal was exasperating, he could feel the very essence of hope leaving his body as countless negative scenarios of what could have possibly happened to her played through his head.

_Calm yourself down Len, be rational breath, FUCKING BREATH!_ Len thought as he tightly grasped the middle of his shirt above his heart to compose himself. He began to close his cobalt eyes and steady his inhalation by counting in between rapid breaths, _1...2...3..._, _inhale_. By doing so, he became collected enough to realize the first thing he needed to do was lie to his parents, he couldn't afford to tell them the truth that he hadn't even noticed she wasn't with him for over an hour, and that he had no idea where she was. So he called them in the calmest voice he could convincingly portray to them on his phone.

"Hey Mom? It's me Len." he said squeezing his fist to stop himself from shuddering, the sweat on the edge of his fair hairline began to slide down his temples.

"Yes honey? What is it? You need something?" his mother answered, completely unaware that she had recently become a mother of only a single child about an hour ago.

He muted his cell as she said this so he could take in a sharp breath and continue, "Rin and I are going to study at Miku and Mikuo's house for finals week, so we might get home pretty late, I mean, if that's okay with you that is." Len stated in the steadiest tone of voice he could muster up.

"Sure sweetie, just make sure you get home before 10, I don't want police to bring you both home for me. Don't forget about the curfew okay?" she responded. Len was so glad that his mother was nowhere near a helicopter parent, it was only now that he could truly appreciate this however.

"Thanks mom. Bye." Len spoke back, concealing the panic in his throat that was about to spill out of his mouth.

"Okay then. Bye-bye hon." *beep*

He knew that his mother wasn't going to call Miku's house to check if they were actually there so he began his search for Rin by first calling her cell. The curfew was 10 pm so he had a little less than four hours to find his sister before the police would be concerned about two teenagers loitering during the impending hours of darkness.

"This is Rin Kagamine's phone, sorry, I'm not here right now, but if you'd like, just leave your little message after the beep._*Beep*."

"Rin it's me, Len, I hope you're not playing hide and seek with me, because what your doing isn't a game, and it isn't any fun, otherwise if you're not being held against your will, please call back. I'm sorry if I offended you, but you really need to call me and tell me you're safe. It isn't alright just to be outside alone this late by yourself, please please please call me." he said almost in a whisper, he realized after he had hung up that he was clinging to his cell rather desperately, and that he had talked with his lips pressed on the touch screen. When he looked at his phone, the blood from his self-bitten lip was smeared on the bottom of the screen, he hoped it wasn't some weird sign that something bad _did happen to her_.

The first thing he did was back-track his way to school. He saw athletic club members walking home from practice, some of the divisions from the track team waved at him as he passed, the shot putters, it was their day of the week for training, they had no idea that he was a guy on the brink of losing it, and that his waving hand had earlier been tugging at his shirt because he felt like he was going to have a heart attack at seventeen.

As Len made it to the school gates, he noted that it was mostly empty with the exception of the boys tennis team just getting out. _If I were Rin, where would I go?_ Len contemplated. He suddenly remembered her saying that her favorite places were playgrounds, because she was most happy as a child. If his instincts were any good, he would find her at a playground, and finding her would solidify their bond as twins for him, even if they were only fraternal. They were as close as siblings of the opposite gender could get, being from the same womb at the same time. He had a little less than three hours before ten, the sun was already down and the pink haze across the sky was turning a murky plum.

_God damn-it, there are three fucking playgrounds! _He ran the entire way to the newest park in the local neighborhood, the one that was only 4 years old, and the one that was closest to their high school. He only saw a few people walking their dogs, an old man taking a stroll, and Neru, who was running because she was also on the track team. He was going to ask his golden haired classmate with the extensively long side pony tail if she had seen Rin anywhere, but he decided against it. _It wouldn't be a good idea to get her involved, I don't want her to get worried over something that isn't her responsibility anyways.._.Len concluded.

Luckily Neru didn't notice him as he left the park, she probably would've wanted to talk because they were casual friends, and it would be rude not to say anything to each other after making eye contact if they did.

The second park he could think of was the second closest one to their high school, he ran all the way there too, only to find that it was totally vacant, apart from a few squirrels scurrying up the trees.

_I'm going to fucking loose it if I don't find her, it's already 7:45! SHIT! Okay Len, the last one is at our old elementary, hopefully that's the one, otherwise, I should just kill myself now and save the trouble of our parents doing it to me after finding out I lost her._ He could feel his blood pulsating aggressively against the veins in his neck and hands, he was so worried he could barely think, and the fact he had run out of water wasn't helping him either.

Len was already exhausted from sprinting all over the suburbs and local parks, but if his practice in track for long distance running was any good, he'd be able to make it there before 8 pm. So he ran, and ran, and ran until his lungs were burning, his legs became like jello, and his feet throbbed with an incredible soreness. Despite all his body's difficulty remaining upright as he ended his journey, he still looked stunning as he dashed toward the primary school, even though he was suffering, he did so gracefully. His face was slightly flushed scarlet over his radiant, spring-tanned skin, and his mouth was a deep crimson from the blood spreading over his bottom lip as he licked them while he ran to keep them moisturized. When he got to the playground a surge of relief filled his heart, there she was, with her eyes shut laying her head on the bar of a swing she was sitting on.

He just couldn't hide his elation on the fact that he had found her in time before the curfew took effect and he screamed at the top of his lungs, "RRIIIIINNNN!".

He was so overjoyed he found her he wasn't even going to ask why she decided to run away from him without even saying a word.

She awoke from her light slumber to find her brother out of breath but smiling at her 30 feet away. She rubbed her eyes gently and mumbled, "Len?"

He was beaming at her still, but then his eyebrows furrowed and the grin on his face abruptly turned into a frown.

"Rin-!" he couldn't even finish his sentence before her decided to clumsily run to her as she was still sitting on the swing only to collapse onto his knees and into her chest with tearless breathy sobs.

"D-don't ever do t-t-that again. I was s-s-so worried, I thought you were in t-t-trouble. P-promise me t-to never do t-t-this again." Len stuttered breathlessly out to her. He encircled his tired arms around her waist and held her tightly, fearing that if he couldn't feel her with his very hands, that she might just be an illusion since he was low on oxygen.

_You look so helpless Len, do you really care for me this much? You never showed me such emotion before, so why now?_ Rin wondered. She observed his reddened cheeks and gently brushed the topside of her hands over them as he lay his head on her upper body with closed eyes, still holding her entire being closely to his own. His face was icy to the touch, _Did you run all the way here? _she thought. It was clearly night now, and the spring air was still chilly despite summer being so very close. They remained this way for a while, embracing each other for dear life, frightened by the mere thought of separation that _was permanent_, something they had never thought of before until this day when one of the pair voluntarily detached themselves from the other.

She was going to brush his cheek again when he suddenly opened his eyes, grabbed the very hand she was about to caress his skin once more with and said, quite calmly now, "Promise me...never again." His indigo pupils burned into her own, and for some reason her heartbeat began to quicken, but she ignored this and the rapid pulsing sensation beneath her breast returned to normal.

She rested her head onto his and whispered softly, "Never again. I promise to never ever do this...ever again." He let go of her hand and removed her head from his. He was still on his knees when he asked, looking up to her as she sat on the swing after completely catching his breath, "Pinky swear?"

She grinned at his upheld pinky and intertwined her own into his, and in doing so, she became aware that his fingers too were now longer and bonier looking than her own.

"This feels just like when we were kids, huh Len? It's just like old times..." Rin spoke with nostalgia in her voice, she threw her head back gently and looked up at the now blackened sky that was speckled with white stars, "It's already really late, do mom and dad know that I was missing?" she asked with a slight hint of concern in her face.

Len stood up from his knees to sit on the swing beside her and answered, "No, I told Mom that you and I were at Mikuo's house to study for finals. I told them we were going to be home before ten, it's 8:30, if we leave now we can catch the last train home."

"I see... Len, aren't you going to ask me why I did it? Why I left you without saying anything?" Rin questioned, leaning her petite body towards his as they sat on the swings. Len could see that she had been crying, the waterline of her eyes were pink and swollen and they surrounded all the skin just beneath them.

"I'm just content enough with having found you, I don't need a reason for why you did it, having you here with me is enough." Len spoke back gently, looking at the asphalt beneath his Converse while holding the metal bars of the swing he was sitting on. _I know you were crying earlier, it's so obvious, but unless you want to tell me yourself, then you don't have to Rin_, Len contemplated.

"It's okay, I want to tell you Len, but first, what happened to your mouth? It's completely red!" she said with an upbeat curiousness in her voice.

_Don't try to hide your sadness in front of me, I've known you all your life_, he thought.

"Oh this? It's nothing, I just accidently bit it that's all." he replied, touching his lip lightly with his thumb to see if it was painful, it was, more than he considered it would be.

"Let me wipe it off for you." Rin mumbled as she sifted through her orange satchel for her clean watermelon-printed handkerchief then said, after she found it, "Lift your head Len."

He obeyed and lifted up his head, Rin noted as she dabbed his lips lightly with her handkerchief that even though Len didn't appear to have an Adam's Apple like most other boys his age, that he actually did, but that it could only be seen when he was extending his neck like he was now. _You're almost a man now Len, almost..._Rin reflected.

Len felt so comfortable having her place her hands on his mouth that he suddenly jolted at the thought, _This is WHAT A COUPLE WOULD DO, sit on swings together while the girlfriend treats her boyfriend's injuries._ His sudden spasm under her fingers didn't go unnoticed and she asked, mid-dabbing, "Sorry! Did I hurt you?"

"N-no. You didn't, but I think I'm fine now so you can stop. Thanks by the way." he stammered pulling his face quickly away from her handkerchief, he was wondering why he was getting so nervous, this shouldn't have been such a big deal, but he was making it that way and it upset him.

Rin giggled and placed her curled index finger on her chin. _He must be embarrassed, you're so cute Len! I wish you were always as sensitive as you are right now though..._Rin thought.

He couldn't look at her and she continued to do so at him so persistently that for some reason that made it even harder for him to meet her stare. After a long silence Len unexpectedly said, "You can tell me why you did it on the way home, we still have to make the 9 pm train remember?" He was looking at her now and it was her time to turn away, these glances were getting more awkward by the minute.

"Your right, we should start walking back huh? I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused you today...I really am." Rin replied, she then stood up from the swing and Len followed, not saying anything in response to her apology. They then began their long silent walk to the train station, side by side.

They were walking so close together this time that their hands grazed skin every few moments, resulting in them walking a little farther apart each time it happened, only for them to stroll gradually closer and closer together until their hands caressed each other again, creating this never-ending cycle until Rin asked shyly, "Can we hold hands Len? For old times' sake, like we did when we were little?"

Len gazed downward at the delicate girl by his side because of this sudden request after the long stillness between them. He could see her clearly even though the street they were walking on had no lights, that she was blushing and uncomfortable, and that she was trying so desperately to appear collected, but was failing at it terribly. The waxing moonlight only complemented her anxious face however, and made her appear like she had silver strands of hair amongst her blonde ones. The glow of the moon tinted her eyes to the point they became so saturated that it made them seem even bluer than blue itself, and her little cherry mouth looked so unbelievably supple as the reflection of the moon's rays shone on them.

Something at this very moment had awakened in his heart, although he couldn't recognize it yet, but it played out innocently through his hand holding. With this new development in his subconscious came confidence that he never even knew he had.

Len said rather seriously with eye contact that could kill, "Of course I'll hold your hand, but don't blame me if I don't let go. After what you did to me today, I don't think I'll ever let you go again." He gripped her small palm hastily and squeezed her tiny fingers under his own to the point Rin said, "Len, you're hurting me a little, can you loosen your grip?"

"Sorry, it's just that I thought I had lost you forever. What if someone had _really _taken you? I don't think I could live with myself if that happened." he said with fervor in his voice, he was a little mad that she had pulled such a stunt on him, but with Rin's hand under his own, he knew she was protected. Len held her hand firmly to show his concern for her, so that she would know he really cared, and after today she did know, she would know this for the rest of her life.

As they made it to the train headed for the terminal on route towards the community they lived in, the clock struck 9pm, they had barely made it. The two walked into an empty passenger car and sat by a window.

Len slumped into his seat, threw his backpack under his chair, and groggily mumbled to his sister, "You forgot to telllll me why youuu did it Rin. Why you ran away frommm me...*Yawns*..."

She was about to tell him, that she was upset at how distant they've become over the past few years despite being twins when out of nowhere, she felt a heavy weight pressing on her shoulder. She looked over to find Len completely asleep, breathing lightly on her arm, which was tickling her flesh as though a feather were lightly gliding above it.

"Maybe I'll tell you some other time Len. Sweet dreams." Rin whispered hovering her face above his to tenderly kiss his forehead, she then brushed his bangs out of his eyes and began to close her own as well.

She was just about to plunge into dreamland when an old grey-haired woman and her granddaughter boarded the train just as it was about to departure and sat in the seats across from them.

The grandma smiled and said, first looking at Rin and Len then to her granddaughter, "What a cute couple. They remind me of when I was young. Your Grandpa and I, when we were teenagers we used to sit on the train just like that. We happened to live near each other, that's how we met. And it turned out we even went to the same school! From then on we were like two peas in a pod."

"Really Grandma? I wish I had a boyfriend like that girl too, and like you when you were young." the little girl whined, who was probably no more than 8. She stared at Rin angrily for a long time (probably out of jealousy that she couldn't have a boyfriend because she was too young).

Rin grinned at her out of discomfort and wondered, _Do Len and I really look like a couple, even though we aren't? Should I tell the old lady we aren't a couple? -But the word just sounds so nice, I'm not doing any harm by NOT saying anything, soooo I guess I won't tell her that she's wrong. She's a little old lady after all, she doesn't need a teenage girl like me telling her what she knows and what she doesn't know_.

After what the old woman said Rin couldn't fall asleep, she was too happy to take a nap, as to why she was so happy she didn't know, or rather _didn't want to know_ or see _the reality of her situation_. So Len and Rin rode all the way home quietly next to each other, one dreaming about the faceless girl again, a dream he wasn't going to remember when he woke up, and the other wondering if they looked like boyfriend and girlfriend to everyone who didn't know them. Little did Rin know that this would be the last train ride home where she would remain untainted by men's desires for girls like her. The Blue Moon Festival was tomorrow, what would such a magnificently rare occurrence bring to her that would be so bad?


	3. Chapter 3: A Tainted Blue Moon Part 1

**Chapter 3: A Tainted Blue Moon Part 1 **

When the twins came at exactly 10 pm home, their parents greeted them completely naïve of the events they went through previously that evening. Everything from then on went as it did every day, do homework, brush teeth, go to sleep, or at least _try to_.

_It's 1:00 am already? Why can't I sleep? I have the festival to look forward to later today, maybe it's because I took a nap on the train ride back…_Len thought. He was laying in his bed with his arms crossed behind his head resting them on his pillow when he heard a small knock at his door.

He jumped at the sudden noise and whispered cautiously into the night to avoid waking up others in the house, "Rin?"

She opened his door slowly, and after a short pause, walked in on soundless footsteps closing the door behind her back while still looking at him. She was wearing a striped orange and white tee-shirt that acted as a dress because it was long enough to make it mid upper thigh. Len couldn't help but wonder; _She's not wearing any shorts, so does that mean that she only has underwear beneath that long shirt?_

After a moment of silence she said, "I can't sleep, since you're awake right now…I guess that means that you can't either." She then pointed at his bed and asked, "Do you remember when we used to share a room when we were little?"

"Yeah, of course I remember, but we never had to share a single bed, so why are you pointing at mine?" Len replied. He couldn't tell what she was thinking, but he tried to by watching her body language, he got nothing out of doing so.

He was examining her intensely now, trying to detect her intentions in the subtle motions she was making in her pretty little face. It was too dark, he couldn't tell what expression she was making, his eyes had been closed up until now and they hadn't adjusted to the night quite yet, so scanning her face didn't help either. He was only able to distinguish colors, not individual features.

She then walked to his bed, stopping right before her slender legs touched the mattress and stated in a soft voice, "I'm scared Len. I'm scared that if I run away next time…maybe something bad _will happen to me_ like you said. Maybe I won't be as lucky next time. You're not always going to be there to save me, so what w-will I do when we g-grow up? What t-then?"

His eyes had adjusted enough to see that she was crying now, the newly fallen tears created perfect lines down her youthful cheeks. She brought her hands to her mouth to silent her increasingly louder sobbing in an attempt to hush them into quiet whimpers.

Len hated to see her cry, it was something that ate at his heart, when she cried, he felt like crying, but he buried his emotions, put on a strong front for her and cooed tenderly, "Hey hey hey, don't cry, I'll always be your brother, we will always have that, no one can ever take that away from us…so in a way, you're always protected, because no matter where you are, you have family, like me. We're twins remember? We have a bond like no other…"

Len then sat upward on his mattress, removed Rin's hands from her tear stricken face, delicately clutched her waist and held her body against his own as she stood by his bed, rubbing her back in a soothing manner. He could feel her shuddering under his touch as she wept softly under his embrace, she then collapsed onto her knees, paralleling what he had done previously the day before. Her head fell upon his chest with her arms grasping at his shirt as she sobbed. He could feel her body become limp in his arms from crying so much, her own knees couldn't hold her off the ground, so Len gently dragged her body from touching the floor onto his own body which was on the bed. She was on top of him, weeping and tired, like an infant who hadn't been paid attention to for a while, helpless and lonely. Len held Rin on top of his body while they laid on his bed until he couldn't hear her sniveling anymore, he opened his eyes to find her asleep on his torso with both hands still grasping at his shirt, her head laying peacefully on his upper body.

He gazed at her as she slept, he observed the tinted pink flush on her nose and cheeks from sobbing, her blonde hair which was soaked with water from her tears, and her delicate thin fingers curled up against his chest. She was so fragile, so precious, he didn't want to let go of this frail girl he was holding above him, he dreaded the thought of her breaking into a million pieces if he released her from his grip, he felt as if she were a mirror, and the only thing keeping her from shattering was his arms.

_My arms won't be able to keep you safe forever Rin. One day we will have to go our separate ways_, _that will be the day we become adults, I will be a man then, and you'll become a woman, hopefully one even strong enough to defend yourself._

Len subsequently realized that even though they were twins, they were still opposite genders and immediately became conscious of what a compromising position they were in at the moment. Only now did he notice her breasts pressing against his rib cage, her smooth thighs in betweenhis muscled ones, and the part in the middle of her legs that made her female laying firmly on his crotch. He almost threw his sleeping sister off him at this sudden realization when he composed himself enough to lightly remove her weightless body off his own, place her in his bed, pull his blanket over her body to tuck her in, and leave his room to sleep on the couch downstairs.

He awoke to a bright ray of sunlight streaming over his face, and the sound of a woman's humming, it was his mothers. Len shot up from resting on the couch to find his mother cooking breakfast and singing a familiar tune, it was "La La Lu" from Lady and The Tramp, it was a familiar child's song about sleeping.

_Had she seen Rin sleeping in my bed!_ Len thought jumping to conclusions, his worse fears were met by his mother suddenly saying, "I saw Rin sleeping in your bed. Did she have a bad dream honey? I'm making your favorite by the way Len, sweet lemon pancakes."

Len was still a little uneasy about his mother's suspicions when he answered, "Y-yeah, she had a nightmare about someone being under her bed, so she asked to use mine, so I um, decided to sleep on the couch! Since she was uh, snoring." _Rin doesn't snore though, I wonder if mom knows that..._Len contemplated, he was getting more anxious by the second.

"Awe how kind of you Len! I remember my big sister used to do that for me, brings back memories…" his mother chuckled. She continued to flip pancakes while humming when Len heard Rin's signature pitter patter down the stairs, he jolted at remembering the feeling of her body under his hands and he couldn't look or even answer her when she stated, "Good morning mom! Good morning Len!" He watched her give their mom a kiss on the cheek, but turned his back towards her and switched on the TV when she started to make her way in his direction.

Rin took a look back at their mother, checking if she was still concentrating on making breakfast before she leaned in towards Len sitting on the couch, took hold of his chin and kissed him on the cheek, longer than an average kiss on the cheek would be. She then withdrew her lips to whisper in his ear, "Thank you for always protecting me Len, you're the best brother a girl could have." She then skipped nonchalantly to the dinner table and began setting the table with plates.

The cheek Rin kissed and the ear she whispered in, for the first time in Len's life, were burning as blood rushed to them almost as if there were wounds there.

_What the hell is wrong with me? She's just my little sister, that's all she is, that's all she'll ever be, right Len?_ He reassured himself repeatedly until he was able to stand up from the couch and sit at the table next to Rin, his ear and cheek no longer feeling like they were on fire.

Their father came to the table and sat down reading his newspaper, he stopped reading all of a sudden, took off his glasses, looked at Len and Rin and said, "Isn't today the Blue Moon Festival? How come I haven't seen you guys getting ready?"

The twins looked at each other and Rin replied, "Because we were going to meet up with our friends there at 4 pm which is far from now. You don't have to drive us there dad, we were going to take the train."

Their father then returned to reading the news and stated, "Good, because I have to go to the office to write and submit a paper, and your mother isn't going to be here also because she has her first art and pottery class to teach this Saturday."

"Oh yeah, so can you give one of us the keys so we can open the house when we get back home?" Len asked.

"Here Len, don't lose these keys okay? Your father and I won't be home until after 10 pm because of our work, make sure you lock the doors. I have to go already, the class I'm teaching starts in thirty minutes, and I have five of them to teach today! Wish me luck!" their mother enthusiastically declared.

"Aren't you going to eat before you leave mom?" Rin asked concerned that her mother would get hungry at work. She didn't even eat the sugary lemon pancakes she made.

"No sweetie, I had two bagels earlier so I'll be fine. Bye-bye now!" their mother said cheerfully. She then kissed Rin and Len on their foreheads and their father lightly on the mouth before she took her art supplies and went out the front door.

Their father just finished his breakfast when he stood from the table and announced, "See you kids later, don't do drugs or anything stupid okay? Bye." He hugged both of them at the same time, then took his suitcase and left only 15 minutes after their mother.

The two were alone now and Rin unexpectedly asked while playing with her half eaten pancakes, "Can you help me out with my kimono? Mom usually does it for me, but she isn't here so I guess I'm going to need you Len, sorry that I keep having to ask you so many things."

He gazed at her, she seemed embarrassed having to depend on him so much recently, especially these past few days, she couldn't even meet his stare.

"It's no problem, I really don't mind, I mean…it isn't really a bother to do it. Don't worry about asking me anything, you aren't bothering me Rin." Len stated rather confidently.

"Okay then! Thanks! I'm going to get ready now!" Rin beamed. She then hurriedly pushed out her chair and ran up the stairs, he could hear her excited steps in her room, then her opening the bathroom door across the hall. The faint sound of a showerhead turning on made Len realize he would have to use the guest bathroom to get ready.

He cleaned up the kitchen and put away the leftover pancakes before going to his room to get a towel and his yukata. After he found it in the corner of his closest, he admired how intricate his yukata looked having taken it out of its plastic wrapping, he never took note of all the little fine points before, but he did now because he had time. It was completely black with a golden obi (the sash in the middle torso that holds the yukata up) with thin golden stripes that were widely spaced flowing down to the bottom. It was simple and masculine, Len hoped however that the outfit didn't look _too_ manly for him, after all he _was_ a late bloomer.

He waited for Rin to finish taking a shower so that he wouldn't steal the hot water from her when he heard someone unexpectedly doorbell. Len peered out his window to see Mikuo, Kaito, and Miku all in their kimonos waiting at the front door, which made him wonder, _Why are they here already? It's only 11 in the morning, we're supposed to meet at 3 in the afternoon! _

He opened the door to see Miku just walk in and ask, "Does Rin need help with her kimono? She told me last week her mom wasn't going to be at home during the Blue Moon Festival, so since I'm a girl I thought I could help her with her obi and stuff."

Len was slightly annoyed about how she just barged in without asking to enter first and said, "She's taking a shower right now, why don't you guys wait in the living room while we get ready. Um…why are you all so early here anyways?" He then crossed his arms defensively to give Miku a pissed-off face.

"Like I said, I have to help her with getting ready. It's not like _you_ could help her with her obi and makeup, you're a guy, you don't know about these things, _and I'm her best friend_, your just her brother, these type of things don't apply to you. I also have brought all the needed supplies." Miku stated triumphantly. She then showed Len the massive turquoise shoulder-bag she was holding, opened it up to him to show all the girly junk she had brought with her.

"Whatever, just make sure you guys aren't so loud when you're getting ready. It's still early after all, I don't want the neighbors to yell at us again like the last time you were here Miku." Len declared, he then went on to say, "Uh Mikuo, Kaito, if you want you can watch TV or a movie while you guys wait for Rin and me to get ready. Sorry that you have to kill time like this, it's just that you came so early and we weren't ready at all."

Miku boldly started her way upstairs (despite Len's obvious dislike of her), already knowing which room was Rin's and asking Kaito to carry her bag as they went up.

Once Kaito and Miku made it all the way up, Mikuo sneaked over to Len and whispered, "It's fine, don't worry about it, in fact Kaito and I weren't even going to leave until 2 pm, but my stupid sister dragged us all the way to your house, and made us get ready really fast all because she kept saying 'Rin was going to be in a fashion emergency' if she wasn't there or something." He withdrew from Len to glance up the staircase, scared that Miku would hear him badmouthing her.

"I HEARD THAT MIKUO! SHUT UP! YOU'LL SEE THAT ME BEING HERE IS WORTH IT ONCE YOU WITNESS MY CREATION!" Miku yelled from the second floor.

"Damn, Miku has super hearing doesn't she?" Len said, surprised she had heard Mikuo at all.

"You have no idea, well I should stop talking so you can get ready. I'll just pop in a movie and wait with Kaito in the meantime." Mikuo announced rather unenthusiastically, he then sat on the couch and put in a movie.

Kaito came down the stairs with a heavy sigh and flopped himself onto the sofa next to Mikuo saying, "The things I go through just because I happen to be in love. I guess it isn't all bad though, especially since Miku is cute, it helps."

Len went to his room to get ready leaving his friends to watch an old comedy below. He put on his yukata somewhat quickly when he noticed his usual ponytail looked a little plain in comparison to the rest of his outfit. He found a black hair tie and fixed his ponytail higher on the back of his head than usual, but it was still too bare, he wanted a thin black streamer to knot into his hair tie. He knew Rin probably had one, so he went over to her room and knocked on her orange door. He could hear Miku and Rin squealing and talking about eyeliner when Rin replied to the knock by saying, "Who is iiiiit?"

"Duhhhhh, it's me Len, open up, I need to borrow a black hair streamer." He answered back resting his head on her door. Miku abruptly opened the door and Len, who was putting all his weight on it, fell onto the floor and hit his chin on her white carpet.

Miku snickered at him while he rubbed his jaw and struggled to get up and stated, "Rin, your brother is such a dingbat, how do you put up with his clumsiness?". The turquoise-haired girl subsequently looked at Rin, then to Len and said, "My creation is finished if you want to see. Turn around Rin."

Rin rose from her desk that had makeup and ribbons sprawled all over it to place her hands in front of her, gaze down at Len and say, "Well, what do you think Len? Does it look nice?"

Nice was an understatement, she looked dazzling, he was so glad he was the first guy to see her all dolled up he almost grinned. Instead Len stood up and acted like he was surveying her, which he was (but he was actually trying to hide his exhilaration). He put his hand thoughtfully under his chin and confirmed, "Miku did a pretty good job, you actually look really nice Rin. I hate to admit it, but Miku, thanks for helping her out."

Miku smirked at Len and said, "I'll go get the others so they can see her too." She then went downstairs leaving Rin and Len alone together to bask in each other's attractiveness.

Len noted that their kimonos were matching, black with a gold obi, except Rin didn't have solid black stripes running down to the bottom, instead she had dozens of yellow and gold butterflies that were more concentrated at the bottom of her kimono than at the top. He also recognized that her usual white headband and ribbon were replaced with a low side ponytail dangling above her collarbone that contained tiny white flowers and a petite white bow. He also observed that she was wearing a peach pink lipstick, eyeliner, and blush, he thought she looked just like a doll. Surprisingly he originally believed that makeup would overpower Rin's already beautiful face, but instead it just accentuated her best features and made her appear more womanly than like the little girl people sometimes mistook her for because she was so short. He was starting to get nervous around her again so he asked suddenly to break the silence, "What kind of flowers are the ones you have in your hair? They're really cute."

Rin smiled at him and looked at the flowers in her hair draped over her shoulder and stated, "I believe Miku told me they were California Cream-cups. They are awfully beautiful aren't they…"

"Just like you are-" Len blurted out involuntarily. He then turned around, covered his mouth for a moment, then began to stutter with his back towards her as he walked out, "I mean, t-today, you look b-beautiful."

Rin watched her older twin's broad shoulders leave her room as he closed the door behind him. She shut her eyes and remembered his strong arms holding her as she wept earlier this very same day, the exact same arms that were now refusing to touch her at all. She always seemed to be staring at his back as he walked away from her…_always._ Although now she knew he cared about her after what happened these past few days, she didn't know if he loved her. Rin wasn't sure that him caring about her was equivalent to the love she craved from her sibling that every other family seemed to have, so she dashed to him right before he began to walk down the stairs.

She hugged him from behind and nuzzled her neck into his strong back and whispered, "Do you really think I'm beautiful? If you do, then tell me you love me." _Please tell me you love me Len, I only want to hear you say it once so that I can confirm that you protecting me…means that you love me. _

And with this unanticipated question, Len began to panic. _Why is she doing this to me? Why are you putting so much pressure on me right now when there are others around! Do you know how hard it is to keep myself composed around you even though your just my sister? Okay Len, just tell her you love her and she'll stop pressing her breasts against your back._ "I love you." He said in a rather apathetic voice without meeting her stare, afterwards making his way downstairs once Rin released him.

Rin muttered in a quiet voice still at the first step, "That wasn't what I wanted to hear from you Len." She could tell his avowal of love to her was devoid of feeling, like it was half-assed, like he didn't really mean it at all, she felt like she was about to cry but she could hear the boys downstairs whistle and yell, "Common Rin! Bring your cute butt down here so we can see Miku's 'creation'!"

Rin took a deep breath outwards, clenched her fists and responded composedly back, "Alright! I'm coming downstairs!". She made it to the bottom step to see Mikuo and Kaito gaping at her and smiling widely. She saw that Kaito's yukata was dark blue with black stripes and a bird print as his pattern, which matched Miku's dark teal and thin white stripes with a flower print. Mikuo's yukata was a dark grey with black crosshatching, Rin thoughtthat everyone looked like they belonged in a magazine for kimonos because each person appeared so stunning in their outfits.

"So what do you guys think?" Rin said elatedly, twirling around and holding her arms up over her head to show them her gold and yellow butterfly pattern.

"Sorry Len but you sister looks HOT! Good job sis!" Mikuo applauded, high-fiving his sister Miku.

"Uh…you guys, it's almost 2 pm. I know we were going to leave later but Kiyoteru just texted me and said that him, Gakupo, Luka, Meiko, Neru, Gumo and his sister are all there already. Apparently he said they left early so they can get parking spaces. I think we should go too before it gets too crowded and they run out of prizes at the stands." Kaito suggested, staring at everyone after reading the text on his cell.

"Yeah, let's go! I want to make sure Kaito wins me a stuffed animal before we leave the festival. Mikuo you can win one for Rin if she wants one." Miku offered, clutching Kaito's arm making him blush, then smirked at her brother.

"Hey, stop trying to set us up together just because she's your best friend and I'm your brother. No offense Rin, I just don't want to make her life more convenient by having us date so she can be around you all the time and drag me along." Mikuo explained, appearing rather annoyed at his sister's suggestion.

"Don't worry Mikuo, we know better than to listen to everything she says. Kaito on the other hand…I'm not so sure of." Rin playfully replied making the blue haired boy completely red to his ears.

"You guys stop picking on him. We all know he's stupid for falling in love with someone like Miku, now how about we all head for the train station shall we?" Len said, gesturing at his front door so they would finally go.

"What's that supposed to mean! Someone like _me_? How rude!" Miku complained puffing up her cheeks as she walked out the front door, still hanging onto Kaito's arm.

Len locked the entrance to his house once everyone was outside and they began their walk to the train station. Once they arrived they were greeted with dozens of others all dressed up in their own yukatas, every single one of them on their way to the Blue Moon Festival as well.

"Holy shit. We really should have left earlier you guys." Mikuo said dumbfounded by he never ending sea of teenagers, young adults, couples, and families all in their kimonos.

The ride to the old shrines where they were holding the festival was rather claustrophobic as the group sat next to strangers of all ages each on their way to the same place. After the terminal got to the stop closest to the Blue Moon Festival, the gang left to start their long walk to the temple, and once they reached the festival they quickly met up with the rest of their friends and branched off into three smaller groups. The first group had Gakupo, Luka, Kaito, and Miku (known as the dating group), the second had Rin, Meiko, Neru, and Gumi, and the third group had Len, Kiyoteru, Gumo and Mikuo.

"Alright everyone, see you all in 8 hours!" Gumo yelled as the friends split off from each other. Everyone had agreed to meet at the festival entrance at 11 pm so that the drivers (Kiyoteru, Meiko, and Gakupo) can bring some of them home while others would take the train back. They all also came to the same conclusion that a huge group of friends would make things too complicated in an already crowded event like this one, but everybody decided they would all watch fireworks together and meet at 10 pm for the show by the entry as well.

**At The All Girls Group…**

"Your brother looked pretty cute Rin. Did you put that black streamer in his hair? It looks really good on him." Neru asked. Rin noticed that Neru's usual side ponytail was gone today and that she had her hair in a bun instead that was adorned with glitter and star hair clips. Rin felt Neru looked so much more mature than she did and thought, _It must be nice to be to be taller than 4'11 like me. _

"How tall are you Neru?" Rin inquired, not answering Neru's previous question as she looked at the ground. She had surveyed how different she was to Neru despite both having blonde hair: she was taller, had bigger breasts and longer legs, as did Meiko and Gumi. Rin was beginning to feel less womanly as she compared herself to her friends, who all looked cute in their kimonos, as to why all her insecurities began to surface now she had no idea.

There was silence among the girls, but the hum of a lively fair still played in the background around them.

"Uh, I'm 5'1, why are you asking?" Neru replied, looking a bit confused.

"Oh honey, are you concerned that your too short?" Meiko said staring at Rin in a sympathetic manner, she went on to say, "If you are worried about being short, you shouldn't be! A lot of guys think petite doll like girls like you are _to die for_. Hell, I wish sometimes these massive breasts of mine were less obnoxious and more firm like yours Rin, then maybe my back wouldn't hurt so much all the time."

All the girls laughed then Rin said in a quiet voice with a tiny smile, "I guess I'm just a little self conscious is all. I'm usually not always this glamorous, but you guys _always _look beautiful _every day_, even at school. I'm probably just not used to being this done up."

"Oh my god! Your shyness is so cute Rin, I wish I could be that cute." Gumi whined, then declared, "Just to show you how adorable you are, we'll count how many guys hit on you today to prove our point that being petite like you means being effin' cute." Gumi than pointed her index finger into the crowd of people around them, placed her hand triumphantly on her hip and yelled, "Let us march into this sea of men in search of a pretty boy that will sweep Rin off her feet!"

The girls all started giggling again, than Meiko suggested, "How about after we eat? I'm starving!" They saw a tempura stand nearby and began to walk to it so they could wait in line.

**Meanwhile At The All Boys Group…**

"Dude, you both fucking suck. Let me have a try at it, maybe I'll be able to catch one of these damn fish." Kiyoteru said staring at Gumo and Mikuo who had already spent ten dollars on trying to catch fish with a paper net.

"My sister wanted me to get a blue Beta Fish for her before we left, since her goldfish recently died of old age." Gumo said than looked at Mikuo who responded, "I was trying to help Gumo out, I don't know _if you actually want to help him_ catch her a fish Kiyoteru, or just want to be a smartass by showing off in front of us."

Len was getting worried that Kiyoteru's arrogance might create tension big enough to start a fight so he piped in, "Just give him a try, maybe he might be able to catch one, even if he's being a jerk about it you never know right? Anyways, if he can't catch one either…I guess I'll try, if you pay for my attempt. I have to save money for food and trinkets later that I might buy."

Gumo and Mikuo handed Kiyoteru their paper nets that they had three tries left on for each of them. He bent over the pool, rolled up the sleeves of his all-black yukata and squinted his ebony pupils right before he swiped at the water. He missed the first time and broke the first of six paper nets. He continued to try until he had only three left and then Kiyoteru stood up, pushed his glassed up his nose since they had fallen downwards, threw the nets on the floor and snapped heatedly, "This game is shit, It's fucking rigged…I'm going to get something to fucking drink." The three of them watched as he tread heavily away from them to a stall nearby that had snacks.

"Man, Kiyoteru can be such an ass-wipe sometimes. So Len, do you still want to try?" Mikuo asked, picking up the paper nets off the ground then offered them up to him after lightly dusting them off.

"Yeah sure, why not? You guys did pay for these after all, it would be a waste not to use these last 3 tries." Len said taking the nets from Mikuo while lifting up his black and gold sleeves. He bent over the tiny pool with his knees resting near his chest as he inspected the water for a blue Beta Fish. He found one, a rather fat one at that. When he was watching Kiyoteru attempt to catch them he noticed the faster you moved, the more likely your net would rip, so he started by moving slowly over the water and dipped his net gently under the surface, waiting for that fat blue fish to hover above it, and when it did he extracted his net not as hastily as Kiyoteru had done, and was able to catch it on his first try. Mikuo and Gumo cheered at his catch by clapping and whistling.

"HELL YEAH LEN! Keep on going! You're on a winning streak!" Mikuo stated eagerly, putting his hands on his knees as he waited for Len to continue.

Len was on a winning streak after all, he caught another Beta Fish that was red and blue, and a tiny one that was a "Dalmatian Orange Male", which was what the stall owner called it. He gave Gumo the fat blue fish that he wanted for Gumi, Mikuo the blue and red one, and when Kiyoteru returned with a Cola Ramune drink (a glass soda pop bottle with a tiny marble in it) he offered him the orange male to which Kiyoteru said, "I don't want that pity fish of yours Len. What would I do with a fish anyways?"

"I don't know, keep it as a pet like regular people do?" Len responded back making Mikuo and Gumo laugh, each holding their fishes proudly as they stared at Kiyoteru.

The boy with glasses snarled at Len and proclaimed, "I haven't lost yet, how about we go to that stall with the glass bottles and the rings? Then we'll see who's truly best at these games Len." Kiyoteru then started to lead the way to the stand four booths away.

When they arrived a young man with a red pinstriped hat began to clarify the rules of the game to them, "Five dollars for ten tries, if you are able to toss your ring on any of the tiny platinum bottles, you automatically get a prize, if you throw a ring on at least eight of the other regular sized bottles, you will also get a small prize. Okay, how many of you want to play?"

"I'm in!" Mikuo declared hastily, and when the three others looked at him he explained, "It's because I haven't won anything, I want to win at least one thing today."

"I'm in too." Len said, glancing at Kiyoteru from the corner of his eyes, making sure Kiyoteru wouldn't see that he was faintly irritated by him.

"I want a try as well." Kiyoteru stated with good posture narrowing his eyes at his three companions.

"Well, I don't want to be left out so…I want to also." Gumo said halfheartedly.

The three boys put their fishes that were in their plastic water filled bags on the counter and were given each ten plastic rings that were smaller than the circumference of a bracelet to start the game.

Gumo lost first, he had spent all of his rings trying to get them onto the platinum tiny bottle, and as a result, only three of his actually hooked any of the other bottles.

Len lost second, he had done the same as Gumo, but he had hooked one more regular bottle than him.

It was only Mikuo and Kiyoteru left now, each of them had hooked six regular bottles, the streak was broken when Kiyoteru wasted his last four on trying to get the tiny platinum one as well, to get the 'big win'. Only Mikuo was wise enough to spend all of his on hooking the regular sized ones, so he got a small prize, a miniature green turtle keychain.

"What a diminutive prize, I can't believe you wasted all your rings on that tiny girly thing." Kiyoteru ridiculed, crossing his arms as he stared at the little keychain Mikuo was victoriously dangling in front of the boys.

"Hey that's pretty adorable. Are you going to give it to your sister Mikuo?" Gumo asked bending over to get a better look at the miniature fuzzy turtle with the beady eyes.

"Like hell I will! I'm going to give it to any cute girl who is willing to kiss me during the fireworks show later today. This little guy will be my thank you to that girl." Mikuo said grinning with a mischievous look on his face.

"Your shitting us right? Do you really think a girl will kiss some random guy in exchange for that keychain?" Len asked with disbelief. He couldn't fathom why Mikuo was so desperate. _Maybe he just wants to do something crazy just for the fun of it. _Len thought.

"Yeah yeah yeah, we all want to suck face with some cute chick, but before that, can we grab something to bite? I'm so hungry alreadyyyyyy." Gumo complained, ruffling his emerald hair.

They saw a tempura stand at the end of the stalls near the food court and spotted Meiko throwing away some trash.

"Hey, I see the girl's group! Let's ask them to eat with us." Mikuo suggested beginning to walk to the food court hastily.

Gumo followed slowly behind them and wondered, _I hope Gumi will like the fish Len gave me for her._

**Back At The All Girls Group…Which Was Now Joined With the Boys**

"Hey, I can see Mikuo, Len, Kiyoteru and Gumo coming over here. Do you think they want to eat with us?" Neru announced, standing up in her seat while squinting her eyes in the distance. Rin immediately stopped chewing to look up and see her brother heading towards them, she hurriedly wiped her mouth, opened her purse to find a mirror to prim herself up a bit before they got to their table. 

"How have you ladies been doing?" Gumo questioned lifting his eyebrow in a suggestive manner.

"Shut up Gumo, stop embarrassing yourself. We were just finishing eating thank you very much." Gumi replied self-righteously whilst flicking her olive hair.

"Hey don't be so mean to me, I won you this fish after all, actually Len won it but I asked him to get it for you so be nice to me." Gumo stated holding up the fat blue Beta Fish in front of Gumi who said happily, "Did you really get this just for me? Thanks Len, thanks Gumo, I think I'm going to name it Mr. Chubby!"

Meiko noticed that Len and Mikuo also had fish with them and asked, "Are you two also going to give your fish to your sisters?"

"I'm definitely not, Miku bosses me around too much. I'm keeping this two-toned fish for myself." Mikuo declared then glanced at Len who said, "Rin, if you want I can give you this fish, since I know orange is your favorite color."

"Thank you Len, it's beautiful, I'll name him 'Tangie' short for Tangerine." Rin replied, gently taking the fish from Len's hands.

"Whoa, when have you guys become so close?" Gumi asked remembering that earlier this same week Rin worried that her brother hated her.

The twins flinched and after an awkward silence Len said, "We've come to an understanding…haven't we Rin?"

She could see a worried look surfacing on his face which made Rin add rather loudly, "Yes we have! Since we're twins we realized we should cherish each other in this short life we have, instead of fighting and being distant towards one another, now we're close like everyone else is with their families!"

Len thought while gazing at his sister, _Maybe we've become too close Rin, especially if others are starting to notice this weird thing we've got going on between us…maybe our 'closeness' isn't quite the same as theirs is. _

"Oh…that's good! Family should never fight, it creates tiny spaces in our hearts that just grow over time. I'm glad you guys got over that. Do you all want to go on the Ferris wheel with us girls? We were just about to leave after finishing eating." Gumi suggested joyfully looking at the four boys.

"Yeah, but let us eat first, I want to ride a Ferris wheel at least once with someone, preferably not a dude, so could you just wait for us?" Mikuo said, attempting to hide his smile (because he was thinking of doing something naughty on the Ferris wheel).

"Yeah, it's no big deal, but we'll pick who we ride with randomly okay? I don't want any of you guys to get first pick, it would be rude for the last person who gets picked." Meiko advocated.

After the guys finished eating their tempura rolls, Neru brought eight sticks that she got from one of the stalls for free and broke four of them equivalently with four other sticks.

Meiko was paired with Kiyoteru, Mikuo got Gumi, Neru with Gumo, and Rin coincidentally with Len…

The day was a little less than half over, what would await Rin's gaze that would result in a domino effect in all of their friends lives?


	4. Chapter 4: A Tainted Blue Moon Part 2

**Chapter 4: A Tainted Blue Moon Part 2**

As the group waited in line for the Ferris Wheel, Rin observed the would-be couples that were her friends standing next to her, and she realized, there was that word again…"couple".

Rin was starting to worry and thought, _For everyone who doesn't know us here, do we seem like a couple? If we held hands, would people mistaken that for a romantic type of love between Len and I? Why do I keep thinking we look like boyfriend and girlfriend? We're just twins_, _strangers would notice that right? I mean, we do look pretty similar…_

Her anxiety that strangers would misconstrue her relationship with her brother were confirmed when she asked a group of girls passing by if the blond boy next to her looked like her boyfriend. They said yes, she asked them as to why and one of the older girls explained, "You're both wearing matching kimonos, only little kids do that and people who are dating."

The group of girls left leaving Rin feeling incredibly ashamed, she wanted her brother to be close to her, but not _that close_, or rather she didn't want to accept her inner desire for him, so instead she fought her longing. Len hadn't heard or saw her asking the girls who passed by if they looked like they were dating, because he was talking to Kaito on his phone who was venting about how the dating group's day was going, almost everyone else had seen her though.

"Rin, are you worried that people will mistaken your brother for your boyfriend?" Gumi asked, looking rather sympathetic and went on to offer, "If you want, one of us can trade places with you so you don't have to be stuck with your brother, you know…since Ferris Wheels have that romantic stigma attached to them."

Rin glanced at her twin brother who was still chatting on his cell and said quietly, "No, it's fine..I'm okay with Len, it isn't that big of a deal that they thought that."

"You're right Rin, maybe people will recognize that you're twins or maybe they think you're husband and wife for all we know! But in the end, who cares what they think? They aren't people you know personally so why even be bothered? What matters is _what you think_, and you know that you are brother and sister and that's it." Meiko declared reassuringly, then going over to Rin to pat her on her head because she looked close to tears.

It did make Rin feel a little better, and when Len finally finished talking to Kaito on his phone he said, "Hey, what's up? Why does everyone look so serious?" The group could only laugh at him, how he didn't even notice what was going on really did mean he could only be a brother to Rin, only a brother would be this dense to this kind of situation.

"I feel better now! Let's ride the wheel!" Rin announced balling up her fists and raising them in the air. The friends went onto the ride two by two until the last passenger car took Rin and Len in it and they began their four minute ride.

In the first car, Meiko and Kiyoteru were discussing bad drivers (since they were the only ones who could drive amongst their friends) and how to avoid getting pulled over.

A few cars following them Mikuo and Gumi were talking about videogames, since they were both enthusiasts of the Final Fantasy and Zelda series.

Several cars following them Gumo was attempting to pull some moves on Neru (a girl he actually considers dating), moves that only made him seem like a fool.

Gumo stared at Neru who was glancing at the car beneath them containing Rin and Len and he asked, "Do you like Len? You keep looking at the car they're in."

Neru stopped looking at the passenger car Len was in to look at Gumo and say, "No, I'm just kind of bored, so I was wondering what our friends might be doing…which seems to be talking at the moment, something I feel like I'm doing by myself."

He didn't want her to get bored just because she happened to be paired with him so the first game Gumo could think of he blurted out, "DO YOU WANT TO PLAY ROCK PAPER SCISSORS?"

She met his stare again, this time trying hard not to laugh at him, because Neru could see he was embarrassed beyond repair. Gumo's whole face was flushed and he was looking at the ground, trying to hide his very apparent un-coolness.

"I guess…um are you by any chance nervous Gumo?" Neru teased, resting her head on the passenger car window.

"Of…of course not! I'm just trying to make sure you aren't uninterested since you have to ride with me. I know that you would probably want to ride with the other guys." Gumo muttered, looking out the glass to the pods below him.

They would awkwardly play this game of rock-paper-scissors until the ride ended, possibly ruining Gumo's chance with Neru.

However In Rin and Len's capsule, something interesting was going on…

"Those people are the same size as us, but from way up here they seem so small, like they don't matter. Do we look the same to them from down there?" Rin whispered, placing both her hands on the window as she gazed below. She then exhaled warm air onto the glass to draw a flower on the mist she created from her breath, and turned to look at Len who was staring at the ocean that was now viewable because they were nearing the top of the ride.

Len suddenly spoke up still looking intently at the sea outside, "Everyone is a mere grain of sand in a pool known as the universe, so in essence we don't matter in respect to the rest of the cosmos."

She watched her brother, who appeared to be ignoring her again by giving her these abstract answers, so she decided to sit next to him and asked, "Len…do you wonder sometimes what our lives would be like if we weren't family?"

Len thought solemnly_, I never wonder that, because if that was the case, then maybe I would never have met you,_ he then glanced at his sister and returned to his window to say, "No, I never think about situations that are impossible. This is our life, we can't change who we are, blood is blood."

"Blood is blood. Can I ask you an unrelated question?" Rin inquired, positioning her body even _closer_ to his on the seat they were sharing.

"Yeah, what is it?" he replied, still looking outside.

"Do you believe love is love, no matter who it's with?" she said placing one of her dangling strands of flaxen hair behind her ear.

"I believe that as long as it's between two consenting adults who aren't related in anyway, then I have no problem with love and who it's with. Why do you ask?" Len answered firmly. _I have to be resolute with you on love Rin, I don't think you realize that there is a limit to how close we can be, no matter how much you want to be closer, we can only become so close until it crosses "that line". _

"Promise me you won't get mad at me for saying this." She stated with fright surfacing in her eyes. Len wondered why she was abruptly becoming so scared. The furrow developing in between her brows began to trouble him.

"I promise I won't get mad, so why are you asking me this?" he replied, meeting her gaze this time, removing himself from his side of the window.

She stood up to sit on the bench across from him. Rin then clenched her fists on her lap, tightly closed her eyes and said rather quickly, "I was wondering what it would be like if we were really boyfriend and girlfriend like strangers think we are!"

Len was puzzled, he didn't understand what she was talking about and said, "What do you mean? Are you saying that strangers think we are dating or something?"

She covered her face with both her hands revealing only her plump lips which muttered, "That's exactly what I mean…"

They didn't speak for a while, then Len stated, "Maybe we shouldn't hang around each other so much, people are getting the wrong idea about us."

"No! I don't want us to be like the way we were before! You were so distant, now we're close like everyone else is with their siblings, that's all I ever wanted, for us to be close like everyone else!" Rin said unsteadily, her shoulders were trembling and all Len could do was look at the ground, and then he realized, _Maybe the closeness you want Rin isn't like everyone else's. Do you not see how the relationship you want with me isn't the same? _

Len snapped and stood up in his seat- he hastily walked to her side of the passenger car to bend over her. He drew his face close to hers, their lips almost making contact and he whispered, placing his head in between her neck and ear, "What kind of closeness do you _really_ want? Think about it, you're right about us finally acting like family, but I think that you want more than that. Is this what you _truly want_ Rin?"

He went on to lightly stroke the skin on her collarbone and neck with his long fingers while his face hovered dangerously close to each part of flesh he touched. Rin quivered under his hands, resisting the urge to moan, she could feel a trail of burning skin develop from each part of her body he brushed with his own, her bare shoulders, her neck, everything felt aflame. Len was going to seal the deal by pretending to kiss her (to demonstrate that the type of closeness she wanted was something like this), his mouth lingered around her own, the sensation of their warm breaths saturating the air between them made it too much for Len to handle, he was going to lose himself to her in trying to prove his point, but he didn't have to pull himself off, instead she slapped him hard across the face after having realized he had successfully moved her kimono down enough to reveal her bare shoulders. The slap was hard enough to push him halfway across the passenger car, it was also enough to remove that familiar feeling that was beginning to develop in Len's pants, one that would have been incredibly embarrassing if it hadn't gone down. This was very fortunate because several moments after she had slapped him, they reached the end of the ride.

"I hate you Len!" Rin screamed, and as soon as the doors opened she ran outside and past their friends who had already gotten off leaving Len to explain his red cheek and the reason for the sullen look on his sister's face as she had passed them.

Len lied whilst massaging his right cheek, "I told her this really scary story to freak her out about riding the Ferris Wheel, you know just for fun, but she got so angry and terrified that she slapped me."

"Wow Len you idiot! You know Rin hates scary stories, I'll go and check up on her." Gumi stated glaring at Len.

"I'll go too! I want to make sure she isn't scared for the rest of the day. If you want us we'll be at the girl's bathroom over there, we saw her run into it." Neru said, staring at Len.

Rin was inside one of the stalls patting a damp handkerchief on everyplace Len had touched in hopes it would cool the smoldering sensation he left on her skin. She thought, _What did he mean by 'is this what you really want'? All I wanted was for us to be close like when we were little, and then he had to do something like this! Why did you do this to me Len? But more importantly, why do I feel funny, he's just my brother…but maybe he did these things because he wanted to show me that the type of love I want from him…isn't family love, but that isn't possible, is it?_ She stood silently in her stall pondering his words until all of a sudden, she felt a warm ooze dripping down her inner thigh. She wiped it with her fingers to find a clear whitish fluid that had the consistency of goo. _I'm disgusting…I hate myself, my body is acting against my brain, I don't want to feel like this, it's wrong!_

Someone then unexpectedly knocked on the stall Rin was in, making her jump and said, "Rin! Are you okay in there? Don't worry about anything Len said, there are no such things as ghosts, so don't be scared, he's just stupid!"

Rin wondered, _Is that what you told them Len? That you made me scared? Fine, I'll play along so they don't find out, but after the festival we have to talk. _Rin responded back, hiding her shame, "I…I'm fine now, I'm not scared anymore, it's just that what he told me made me really terrified."

Rin opened the stall to see Neru and Gumi smiling at her comfortingly. As Rin washed her hands while her friends decided to use the bathroom while they were there, one of them asked, "Why is Len so moody towards you? I thought you guys had just gotten close?"

"Well, I guess with brothers and sisters you're bound to fight with each other every once in a while." Rin replied, a sudden flash of Len's hands and lips in her thoughts made Rin stutter back to them, "A-anyways w-we should get going, the fireworks are going to start in a few hours I…I want to make sure I play enough games before then." Rin left the restrooms to find Kiyoteru waiting outside for them.

"Hey Rin, are you feeling better now?" Kiyoteru said smiling at her while putting one arm over her shoulder.

_Why is Kiyoteru talking to me, we aren't really good friends._ Rin wondered.

Kiyoteru was thinking however, _I might not be able to beat you at these festival games Len, but your cute sister I might be able to get. _"Hey, how about I win you a prize or buy you something to make you feel better? Your brother _really_ was such a jerk, I feel responsible for his actions since _I am_ his friend."

Neru appeared to become upbeat all of a sudden and proclaimed, "Wow Kiyoteru, how generous! Rin, take his offer, he's usually not like this." She then pushed them together and grinned.

"Uh, o-okay. Just one thing alright Kiyoteru? I don't want to take advantage of you." Rin said shyly and thought, _Maybe he will be able to keep my mind off of Len for a while, even if I don't know him too well. _

Len saw Neru and Gumi return saying that Kiyoteru was going to hangout with Rin for the rest of the festival and that they had already left, this made Len involuntarily clench his jaw, something Mikuo noticed and said, "Are you worried _now_ about who Rin _might_ potentially date? _It is_ Kiyoteru after all, the notorious hothead."

"Like I've said before Mikuo, it isn't really any of my business who she dates and who she doesn't date." Len responded, he wasn't going to allow his inner turmoil to show in front of his friends, he didn't want them to know what was really going on between them, so he pretended to be the distant older brother to downplay their increasingly unnatural relationship.

"Whatever you say Len. Okay everyone, let's go to the bumper cars!" Mikuo yelled running across the crowd as the rest of their friends followed, all except for Len who was still standing by the Ferris Wheel ride exit.

Neru become aware of this and stopped running after Mikuo along with the rest of their friends to look back at Len who was just standing behind them. She ran back to him and grabbed his hand lightheartedly saying, "Common Len! It won't be fun if you don't come with us, plus I'll be all by myself so let's go before we get left behind!"

"Oh right, sorry. Yeah l-let's go." Len said, trying to sound upbeat. He watched Neru's figure as she held his hand while they walked hurriedly through the crowd. She was tall, her breasts were obviously bigger than Rin's, and her hair was a lot longer and darker as well despite being blonde too. _Maybe, if we dated I could fall in love with you, maybe you'll be able to take my mind off of her. You might be the perfect cure to these sinful feelings I bear in my heart. _

As soon as Len and Neru arrived to the bumper car ride they realized they were a few people behind their friends.

"Ah, dang-it! We got left behind, it's okay though, I texted Gumi and they'll wait for us if we don't go on the same batch as them. Hopefully we'll all go together." Neru stated looking at their companions a few people ahead of them.

Len was still studying her features, wondering if she would be enough for him to move on from his sister, and Neru detected his deep gaze and said, embarrassed by his constant stare, "Err, why do you keep looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?" She then began to pat around her forehead, nose, and chin.

"No, it's just that you're quite beautiful, I never truly realized it until I got a good look at you." Len answered still watching her, his deep indigo eyes burned into her gold ones, this was too much for her to soak in, so she turned away flustered and mumbled, "T-thanks Len, no guy has e-ever said that to me before."

"Really? I find that hard to believe, maybe they were just shy too approach such a pretty girl." He said, stepping closer to her.

"Ah! We're up next, let's get in the green car." Neru quickly stated, deflecting the obvious sexual advance he was making on her, which was working because she was blushing.

**Meanwhile With Rin And Kiyoteru…**

"Are you sure this is the only thing you want Rin?" Kiyoteru asked looking at the tiny butterfly ornament.

"Yes, the fish Len gave me needs a friend, this will be his friend." Rin replied looking at the shimmery pattern on the butterfly. She was going to place the ornament beside her fish bowl at home so the beta fish could see it.

Kiyoteru payed the woman at the trinket stand a few dollars and she handed Rin the gold and silver butterfly wrapped in a clear bag that had a white ribbon. Rin was contemplating as to why Kiyoteru was being so kind to her, he had payed no attention to her before, so for him to be so familiar towards her _now_ was a little unsettling, so she asked, "Kiyoteru, no offense or anything…but why are you being so nice to me right now?"

"Are you saying that I'm usually mean to you?" Kiyoteru replied looking at her suddenly, making her turn away. Rin held her bagged butterfly charm closer to her chest, unable to meet his eyes, she felt a bit bad for questioning him after he had just bought her something so beautiful.

"N-no, it's just that…we aren't really good friends, more like acquaintances…so I was wondering why you suddenly became so friendly with me." She said almost in a whisper.

"Well, I had an epiphany…I'm basically friends with everyone in that group, except with maybe you. So I decided, why not become friends with Rin? She's nice and kind and…she's lovely." Kiyoteru stated giving her a serious look.

"S-so, y-you just wanted to be my friend? That's all….right?" Rin said, still not completely convinced this was the entire truth.

"Yes, that's all, is it so wrong to want to be better friends with a person?" Kiyoteru said smiling at her gently, he then put his arm around her shoulder and suggested they play a few more games before the fireworks show.

Kiyoteru actually won her something this time, a white polar bear stuffed animal, this made three things she got for free at the festival, her orange beta fish (that was in a temporary storage locker with everyone else's things), the butterfly ornament, and this bear. They enjoyed a few more rides before Gumi called Rin.

In the meantime, Len had won Neru a silver bracelet, something he told her he thought she deserved for being such a good friend to him. They had fun talking and buying snacks until Mikuo had called Len.

**Fireworks In One's Heart**

"Um, Kiyoteru? Gumi just called me and said everyone is meeting at the entrance so we can find a spot and all watch the fireworks together." Rin stated, closing her phone.

"Okay, let's go before they leave without us." Kiyoteru said, he took hold of her hand in a friendly manner and they sifted their way through the crowd.

Rin watched Kiyoteru's back, it didn't look anything like Len's, it was bigger, more defined and showed signs of almost complete adulthood. His shoulders seemed sharper to her, more angular and his hand was slightly bigger than her twin's.

As Rin gazed at his broad shoulders she wondered, _Is this what other boys will seem like when I'm with them? It's different..from Len. It isn't a bad feeling, but it isn't an affectionate one either…maybe…I'll be able to fall in love with someone like you Kiyoteru, maybe you're the first step, the first step into becoming my own person, a person separate from Len. _

As Kiyoteru pushed his way through the incoming strangers, he felt the delicate hand beneath his own unexpectedly tighten at his fingers, he glanced back to see Rin refusing to walk any further, a solemn look was painted on her face.

"What's wrong? Are you not feeling well?" Kiyoteru asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

She lifted her head up from staring at the ground to smile up at him, almost somberly and said, "No, I was just deep in thought, so please don't worry, it isn't anything serious…"

"Uh, if you say so Rin. Don't worry, I'm sure we'll make it in time." he stated confidently beginning to shield a path for her once more from the surrounding people.

**Meanwhile With Len & Neru…**

"Look! I see them! Man we're late, everyone else is here." Neru announced to Len, beaming at him.

She was right, they were the last ones to arrive, even Rin was there, who was still with Kiyoteru. Len stared at the two as they chatted happily to one another, a sight he never thought he would see. Kiyoteru was arrogant, stuck-up, and easily angered, although useful when he needed to be, he was unsympathetic, so for him to be with Rin, someone who was forgiving, kind, and compassionate was a conundrum to Len.

_What're you planning Kiyoteru? Do you actually like Rin as a person…or are you just trying to piss me off because you're a sore-ass loser?_ Len thought, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hey Neru, hey there Len! So did you guys have a good time?" Gumi questioned, before either of them could even answer, she teasingly grabbed Neru away from Len so she could whisper something to her, apparently something embarrassing because Neru blushed madly afterwards.

Len stood idly by as Neru and Gumi whispered secrets to one another when suddenly Gakupo proclaimed quite loudly, "Hey! I didn't know you were going out with Rin Kiyoteru!"

Len immediately darted his cobalt eyes toward his sister and his somewhat decent friend. He watched as Gakupo and Luka gapped at this seemingly new couple, until Rin said timidly, "You've got it all w-wrong! We aren't dating, we've just become friends that's all-right Kiyoteru?"

He watched his sister as she stared her pure azure eyes into Kiyoteru's dark colorless ones. Len was watching them so intently that he actually noticed something no one else saw. When Kiyoteru said 'of course we're only friends' to everyone, he took hold of Rin's hand behind them and squeezed it. He almost darted towards them to split them up when he realized he would appear more like a jealous boy than a protective brother, and that others might take note of it. Instead of acting on impulse he acted on payback, he took Neru back from Gumi stating, "Sorry, but I need to borrow her for a bit."

Gumi gave Neru a thumbs up as Len brought her far enough from their friends that they wouldn't hear what he was about to say.

"Neru, I had a really great time with you today at the festival, and I was wondering if you wanted to watch the fireworks…with just me, don't get me wrong-we can still watch with our friends! But we'll just be more isolated from them. Is…is that okay with you? Because if it's not-"

Before Len could finish Neru placed her index finger on his lips and stated coyly, "It's okay with me Len…" She then clutched his arm and rested her head on his shoulder. He could feel coolness of the bracelet he had won her on her wrist as she held him, and he recognized that she was proud of this gift.

Len looked down at Neru and muttered, "Can we keep this a secret from the others Neru? If they found out about us doing something like this, I'll never hear the end of it from the guys."

"Okay, I don't want the girls to know either, I mean we're still technically just friends right? Just really good friends now, but if we started dating, I feel like it would be too soon, but this is nice, us getting gradually closer is nice…" Neru whispered, she closed her eyes whilst resting her head on him as if in deep contemplation.

They returned to the group to start heading they're way to the bridge right behind the shrines where the light show would take place. Everyone was accounted for: Miku, Kaito, Gakupo and Luka were sitting on the grass by the bridge, Gumi, Mikuo, Gumo, Rin, Kiyoteru, and Meiko were standing by the water's edge and finally Len and Neru were a few feet away from them by the trees on the hill overlooking the river.

[Press if you wish, then read onwards, also lower you're volume if necessary, it is somewhat loud watch?v=ZDLu7MGIwEk]

The fireworks show was astounding, it lasted for a satisfying five minutes. Magnificent explosions of red, blue, and gold all entangled in a single firework littered the sky as if it were raining comets. Pin-wheel detonations shed light on the horizon, brilliant shades of violet, orange, white, and indigo shone down on the faces of bystanders as they gazed up at the heavens. Aerial blasts of green and silver illuminated the night and the gentle hum of the crowd's awe's and ooh's were drowned out by the crackling bursts of the pyrotechnics.

"It's really stunning isn't it Len, the lights look like flowers of light in the sky…" Neru spoke softly with her head facing upwards.

Len thought Neru sounded almost like Rin when she said this, his body filled with desire and felt he was normal once more, he had developed a fondness for someone _other_ than his sister, he believed he was beginning to move on from her, move on from the sinning thoughts that were created in his heart from the rapid closeness he and Rin had nurtured over the past week.

Len contemplated while he stared at Neru, _If there is enough light on you, you're hair is almost as light as…_

Then a voice popped into his head, "_What, her hair is almost as light as Rin's? Are you trying to substitute your sister with another girl? You're sick in the head Len, you are only going to hurt this girl if you keep trying to make every female you know into your little sister, you seriously disturbed freak." _

Despite Len hiding his abrupt distress due to these thoughts, his eyes were troubled enough to make Neru say in a comforting manner, "Hey, are you okay? You look like Rin when she left the Ferris Wheel. Something on your mind?" She then reached for his hand, but Len smacked it away when she tried to console him. He instantaneously regretted doing so, Neru appeared hurt as she withdrew her palm and rubbed it, a red flush growing on the top side of her hand.

"I-I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! I was just s-surprised by you suddenly trying to touch me!" Len stammered, an authentic look of regret enveloped his face.

"It's alright, you must have been thinking about something really important for you to be so jumpy like that. I probably would've done the same thing." Neru proclaimed quietly.

They returned to watching the fireworks when Len heard the signature giggling of Rin several feet away from them. He glanced from the corner of his eyes to see Kiyoteru hugging Rin from behind, his arms encircling just below her collar bone. He couldn't help but bite down hard again, making Neru turn her head to look at whatever he was looking at. Len didn't want her to see that he was watching his sister so attentively. He thought,_ She mustn't know, nobody must ever know my terrible secret. I don't want anyone to see the hint of what it is, don't look, don't-_

He tilted himself in front of Neru's view to prevent her from seeing his object of longing philandering with another, and he leaned into her lips with an unexpected smacking sound. It was awkward at first, Neru even had her eyes open, but he could sense her being yearning for him, she wasn't going to refuse him now, not with the romantic atmosphere they had around them: the glow of the fireworks, the tranquil bustle of the people below, the feel of their kimonos grazing one another's skin, all of these were enough to make Len believe he was going to fall in love with her, that he _actually could_.

Their tongues intertwined mercilessly and he explored the cavern of her mouth anxious to take of breath of air, but too excited to do so. He took her face in his palm, he could feel her soft cheeks burning under his fingers, his other hand reached for the bottom of her waist forcing their bodies to touch. He felt his mouth melding into hers, the smell of strawberry chapstick on her lips, the tickle of her eyelashes on his face, the steady tremble of her body pressed against his abdomen, it was so intoxicating. He could taste the mild pressure of her tongue pressing on his own, and he became aware that her slender arms were hugging his back, her hands resting on both his scapulae. Their bodies were so entangled in their embrace, they could feel the rapid pulsing of their heartbeats playing with one another through their thin clothes. He departed his lips from hers for a breath of air. Subtle panting filled the narrow space between them as they gazed at each other, her face being glazed over with desire, and her lips having been moistened with a slight dampness that was not of her own.

Rin was enjoying the company of her new friend when she detected that Neru and Len were not in their group when they were supposed to be. She searched the hill behind them scanning the faces of strangers only to find Gakupo and Luka sitting on the grass French kissing, which made her turn away quickly to a spot devoid of people, or at least she thought it was. Her eyes met a boy and a girl, sitting below some trees almost completely hidden by their shadows, but she saw clearly…her brother and Neru staring tenderly at each other for a moment than kissing. A kiss that was loving and full of zeal, a kiss right out of the movies, a kiss that belonged to someone else. It was a kiss Rin wasn't willing to recognize she wanted.

She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Her brother, the boy that always refused girls (who by the way were basically throwing themselves at him) and never gave an explanation as to why, was indulging himself in one right before her eyes. She returned to the fireworks that were close to ending and muttered to Kiyoteru who was still holding her, "Do you think Neru is pretty?"

Kiyoteru looked down at Rin and replied, "I guess, she _does_ have a pretty nice body since she's in track."

Rin shot Kiyoteru an upset look, to which he laughed and said, "Don't worry, I don't think she's a model or anything, she's just pretty, but not as pretty as you."

"Good." Rin mumbled. However, she wasn't concerned really about how Kiyoteru felt for her, but if her brother might start to actively date Neru, leaving her alone again, ruining all her work of the past week trying to get her brother to become more like family.

Rin then contemplated, _I don't want her to ruin the very fragile relationship I have with Len, it's good that he might get a girlfriend, just… not now, not when we've just started to become best friends…_ _Maybe if I date Kiyoteru, Len will put all his energy into trying to separate us and he won't have enough time to have a girlfriend in doing so. Than after I see all his hard work in trying to look after me, I'll give my 'okay' and he can start dating Neru, I won't have to worry about his loyalty…_

Once the show ended, the group took their prizes from the lockers and began to say their 'see yas' and 'good byes'. Rin ran over to Kiyoteru before he started his way for the parking lot.

"What is it Rin?" Kiyoteru asked, going through his yukata pockets for his keys.

"Do…do you want to start going out? Everyone thinks we are already, wouldn't it be easier to just start being boyfriend and girlfriend?" Rin stated unable to meet his glasses covered gaze.

"Tell you what, how about we go on a date this Friday, and if you like me enough we can start going out. I want to make sure that you actually _want_ to go out with me, not just because it would be convenient to get it over with since everyone thinks we're dating." Kiyoteru explained.

"Okay, just text me the details when you get home. Bye-bye!" Rin stated, she waited until he was out of sight to turn and look at Len, who seemed to be giving a special goodbye to Neru.

She saw her kiss him on the cheek, so did the others which made Gakupo, Kaito, and Mikuo whistle at them. Gumi walked over to Rin because she was standing alone and announced cheerfully, "Hey Rin! Guess what? Neru told me that Len and her are probably going to go out soon! Isn't that great?"

"Y-yeah it's wonderful! Finally my stupid brother will stop brooding around the house!" Rin replied hiding a frown that was fighting to make its way on her mouth.

"Yeah, but now Gumo is going to start sulking! He really liked Neru, he liked-her liked-her. Well, I've got to get going. See yah Rin!" Gumi declared hopping into Meiko's car that was carrying Neru and Gumo who had a gloomy look on his face.

The friends headed off in each of their own directions, a fantastic day having ended, except for Len…

After the twins got home Len would dream about the faceless girl again, a dream he _would remember_, a dream that would drive him past a line he dare not cross…


	5. Chapter 5: First Date, First Nightmare

**Chapter 5: A Girl's First Date & A Boy's First Nightmare**

The night was over, in fact it was early the next day when Len numbly treaded to his room and flopped onto his bed. His eyes felt invisible weights pushing down on his lids and the summer wind passed by his ears singing him to sleep. Before he fell into dreamland, he remembered gazing at his window and feeling like he saw a transparent golden butterfly passing through its wiring screen mesh, and when he entered his dream that very same butterfly was still fleeting by him, but this time it was followed by a petite young girl.

He watched the faceless girl chase the translucent butterfly down a grassy hill, her movements seemed to be slowed down significantly, almost like she was in a movie being played in slow motion.

Len shouted out to the girl fearing he could not be heard, "Hey! Where are you going?" She didn't respond, not even a flinch from her as she continued chasing the insect in the endless field of white flowers and grass they were in.

He pondered, _In this dream I guess I'm invisible to her. _As he realized his situation he also observed that there were no trees, no buildings, no clouds, no wind, no other bugs, and it was just before sunset. He walked silently following the girl who had returned to regular speed all the while enjoying seeing her attempt to catch the odd creature. He tagged along with her and was incredibly relaxed until she tripped a few feet ahead of him.

He dashed to her side and yelled, "Are you okay?" Len reached for her arm to help her up…but his hand went right through it. He became frightened, was the girl he had been dreaming of for all these years _already dead_? If this was true than everything else made sense: why he couldn't see her face, it's probably because he _didn't want to see it_ again, it would remind him of a painful memory, a memory he was trying to _forget_. The nameless girl stood up from the ground to continue pursuing the shimmery golden butterfly. He hadn't discerned that while he was trying to help her off the floor, that a house had appeared out of thin air.

His eyes darted to this new facet in his surroundings: it was a creamy colored house with an indigo roof and yellow shudders. He watched from afar as the girl went inside, the butterfly still in front of her. Len speculated, _If she's dead…then maybe I won't be able to go inside, since she doesn't live there anymore._ He decided to try anyways, he knocked on the yellow door…

*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*

No answer…because he didn't need one, the door opened _itself_ for him. He stepped into the house, there was no furniture, nothing but white oak wooden floors and grey walls. Len lost sight of the mysterious girl and was afraid he wouldn't be able to find her. He didn't need to search on his own however, a silver butterfly with one of its wings scarred helped him. This creature was also see-through and it left a trail of glowing light wherever it went. He knew he was getting closer to the girl because he could hear her beautiful laughter nearby. He felt that her voice reminded him of wind chimes on a quite summer evening.

Len grew excited when he reached the door of the room he knew she was in, her giggling resounding through the door. He was about to turn the knob when he suddenly heard a strange tone coming from inside the room, an odd sound he couldn't figure out at first, then realized it was a _suctioning _noise. He now knew exactly what it was…people kissing. He wasn't sure if he should open the door knowing that he was no longer alone with the mysterious girl, but he figured since it was merely a dream why care?

He would regret opening the door however. His eyes found a bare room with nothing but a white mattress on the floor. He saw the faceless girl sitting on the mattress, the _very same_ girl of his dreams grinding her hips on a young boy's pelvis, a faceless boy. Len immediately turned around to leave the room recognizing they were _far from kissing_, but the door was no longer there, in fact even the windows had disappeared.

As he turned his face away from the twosome having sex in front of him he became aware of the walls closing in on him. He tried to push his body against the narrowing walls in an attempt to slow the process down, but it was futile. Eventually the room became only wide enough for the mattress and a tiny foot space where Len could stand. The girl and boy were right in front of him now, smacking flesh, panting despite them having no lips, making obscene sounds Len would only hear from an occasional porno he might watch every now and then, there was no escape. He tried to turn around and close his eyes, not wanting to see the girl he thought to be more pure than snow doing something so filthy in front of him without shame, but dozens of white arms came out of the grey walls and took hold of his head, arms and legs. Len could no longer move, when he tried to the nails of their hands dug into his arms, he groaned in pain trying to escape and wondered what he did to deserve such torment.

He screamed at the fucking people before him, almost in tears, "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?"

They ignored him and continued to do it, Len watched the girl's white dress become sullied with the sweat of sex, her golden hair grew damp and stringy, and her peachy skin was bruised with rosy patches were the boy had grabbed her delicate body as he placed her in new pelvic hammering positions. Ultimately Len numbed to them, he could no longer fight his primal yearnings forcing their way into his mind, his body succumbed to pleasure. A tent arose in his black shorts and as soon as it reached its full potential they finished their sinning and the unknown girl removed herself from the faceless boy's lap, who had promptly begun to sleep.

She walked towards Len who was only a mere foot from her and said, "Why didn't you tell me stop? Don't you love me?"

She was right, he had asked _why_ they were doing it in front of him but not to _stop _doing it in front of him. Len thought, _Is that all I had to do? All I needed to do to make them stop was ask? _Len started laughing, a nervous broken-down laugh.

"What's so funny Len?" the misty-faced girl asked. She caressed his cheek with her palm and the white hands that bound him to the grey wall receded back into it.

The undisclosed girl seemed to be smiling at him and she pressed her head onto his chest sighing, "All you had to do was ask me…I will do anything for you, I love you Len."

Len reflected biting back anger that was trying to surface, _You LOVE ME? You just had sex with another guy in front of me…you HATE me…._

He looked at the murky featured girl and asked her snappily, "Why did you do this to me? Who would do such a thing in front of the man she claims she loves? That pretty much says that you don't love me at all! -And who was that guy you were with?"

Her obscured expression appeared to be frowning at him and she replied, "I do such things because you subconsciously _want me to do them_. That sleeping boy right there, that boy is _you_ Len, can't you recognize yourself?"

He couldn't believe what she was saying, he was obviously in his _own_ body right in front of her. This was _his _chest she was using to lay her head on, _his_ back resting on the wall, the boy she was talking about was three feet away from him slumbering naked on the bed! He pushed the undisclosed girl off of him and headed for the resting boy behind her. He grabbed at his neck and began to strangle him.

The featureless girl shrieked at him, "Don't hurt him! You'll only hurt yourself! Please don't hurt him!"

Len ignored her and continued to choke the faceless boy he was kneeling over. He couldn't stand what they had just put him through, they made him watch them as they _fucked_, they beat down his soul, his heart, his mind, he had lost it. Even though it was only a dream it felt so real to Len, the twitching muscles of the boy's neck under the tips of his fingers as he tightened his grip, the shaky warm gasps of air from his invisible mouth hitting the skin of Len's lower arms, and the lifeless azure gaze of _his own face_ staring back at him when the boy finally stopped breathing. He stared at his lifeless self who had a grin painted on his dead lips, on his neck there were ten crimson lashes crisscrossing his flesh, and on his right shoulder was the silver butterfly with the scarred wing, he felt a sudden tickle on his upper arm and became conscious of the transparent golden butterfly on his own shoulder.

He didn't know what the butterflies meant, he wasn't sure what they represented and he muttered, "What the hell is-"

But before he could finish, Len awoke gasping for air, holding his own neck as though someone were suffocating him while _he slept_ and he thought, _Did I just murder myself with my bare hands? What the fuck did I just dream?_

He felt like gagging when he realized how easy it was for him to just _kill_ a person, even if it was _merely_ a dream, even though that person was _himself_…

Len stood up in his bed to look out his window once more and stared at the sunrise. For the next six days all Len could do was nothing but run every evening until his mind went blank, he didn't want to dream again, not if it meant he might run into the faceless girl and the boy she maintains to be him. He refused to even analyze what he just dreamt, he wanted to forget about it entirely, pretend it never happened. So for the rest of the week Len went straight to bed so exhausted that his mind didn't even have enough energy to allow him to remember his nighttime delusions when he woke up, his plan worked.

It was Friday morning when Rin knocked gently at his door, he had barely talked to her the past few days and suddenly they were in the same room again.

"Hey Len? Are…are you okay? You seem sort of…'out of mind' lately…" she stated quietly, her delicate hands were intertwined in front of her, the bow on her head was a brilliant yellow, not white like usual and she was wearing a matching sundress.

"Yeah I'm okay. Err…are you going out by any chance Rin?" Len asked her looking her attire over.

She grinned mischievously and declared, "Well yes. I happen to be going on a date today at the mall…"

Len nearly lost his composure but he sighed instead and mumbled, "I see, just make sure you don't get home too late. I don't want mom and dad to get angry at me for not keeping my eye on you."

Rin thought slightly disappointed at his response, _Aren't you even going to ask who it's with or what exact places I'm going to Len? _It felt like they were back at square one, in close proximity to one another but miles apart.

"Weren't you going?" Len said apathetically pulling out a comic book from one of his desk drawers. He began to flip through the pages ignoring his sister's obvious annoyance by his lack of reaction.

Rin left wondering if he would ask her about her date when she returned, her plan wasn't going exactly as she had intended.

As soon as Len heard the front door click, he opened his closet and removed his pajamas to find some outerwear threads. He was going to spy on his sister, he had to make sure Kiyoteru wasn't going to pull anything fishy on her during their date. He needed to disguise himself, for this reason he put on a black baseball cap and tinted matching glasses. He had be _sure_ Rin wouldn't recognize him, so he solidified his outfit by wearing the newest clothes he had, a grey zip-up short sleeve hooded t-shirt that he hadn't worn yet and black denim jeans with his favorite silver pants chain. He was set, he took the bus to ensure he wouldn't run into his sister on the train, her preferred choice of transportation.

When Len arrived at the mall he wasn't sure where he should start looking for her first so he immediately headed for the main entrance and waited outside by the large fountain in the middle of the plaza. He thought, _Hopefully if my instincts are correct they should be around here somewhere._

Then he heard it, his sister's soft girlish voice looming nearby, he stood up from the bench he was sitting on and tipped his hat down to cover his face more, following the hum of her words. His gut feeling was right, there was his distant friend Kiyoteru and his beloved sister Rin standing by a candle shop near the plaza talking about buying some. Len waited until they entered the store to get closer, he wasn't going to follow them inside, it was too risky, the chances of him running into them if he went in were too high. Twenty minutes went by and they finally exited, Rin was now carrying a tiny bag, so was Kiyoteru.

He trailed the two to the food court, leaving a safe thirty foot distance between them. They bought some food from 'Tokyo Tokyo' and sat on a counter table with high chairs. Since Len didn't want to appear suspicious to the surrounding people enjoying their lunches, he bought a smoothie from Surf City. He sipped on his strawberry banana drink watching them chat away. Although he couldn't hear them, he detected by their body language that their conversation wasn't out of the ordinary. Len thought, _They must be talking about their friends, home life, favorite things they like to do…_

His spying was going unnoticed until a group of girls sitting nearby him began squealing at him. He turned around to see one of them blow him a kiss and he immediately realized he was drawing too much attention, Rin and Kiyoteru would eventually turn in his direction if the teenage girls behind him didn't keep quiet, so he became an asshole to turn them off. He smiled at them at first making them squeal some more but he quickly followed this action by flicking them off with both his hands. They threw him disgusted looks and one of them even stood up in their seat and muttered, "What a douche-bag." He had saved himself, or he thought he did, they made enough clatter standing up changing tables to move away from him that Rin turned her head in his direction.

That was it, she saw him, their cerulean eyes met one another for a split second despite Len's tinted glasses prompting him to hastily leave the food court to head for the bathroom.

Len panicked pacing back and forth in his stall_, GOD DAMNIT! SHE SAW ME! If she makes Kiyoteru go in here to check if it's really me…I'm screwed…_

That's exactly what she did.

Rin contemplated, _That can't be Len right? It looked like him…but Len doesn't have clothes like that. I have to make sure it wasn't him, otherwise I can't continue on this date acting normally if I keep wondering if that guy is Len in the back of my head…_

"Kiyoteru do you want to go to the bathrooms and wash up before we leave? I'm feeling kind of grimy." Rin said smiling at him.

"No it's okay, I have hand sanitizer, plus I already went before we ate so I'm good. You can go if you want, I'll wait for you outside in the hallway." Kiyoteru explained.

"Um okay. I won't take too long." Rin replied concealing her apprehension knowing her brother might exit and run into them.

The twins thought at the same time, _How long can I wait in these stalls before I have to leave?_

Luckily for Len, Rin had to leave early, another five minutes and Kiyoteru would've texted her to hurry up because the movie they wanted to see that day was going to start soon, but she left before he did.

Len kept his ear pressed on his stall door until he heard Kiyoteru's voice echoing in the bathroom hallway talking about the movie they were going to watch

He continued trailing them, maintaining his thirty foot distance. They bought a ticket to a horror movie, he did the same. When they entered the theater he made sure to take the other entrance so they wouldn't look at him on his way up the stairs. They were in the middle row in the center seats, he sat right behind Rin three rows back, he could see everything they were doing, especially if he leaned forward a bit. The horror movie they were watching had been out for more than a month so there were few other people watching with them.

Len contemplated, _You're more clever than I thought Kiyoteru. You choose a scary movie so she'll cling onto you AND you pick a movie that's old knowing it would be more empty so you'll have more privacy…you however did not take into account…me. _

When there was a scary part occurring Rin would huddle closer to Kiyoteru and Len would accordingly throw popcorn at them. When they turned around he would quickly duck under the seats so it looked like no one was sitting there, he did this about six times. Kiyoteru didn't suspect it was him at all during the whole ordeal, in fact he thought it was the group of three teenage boys sitting a few seats from Len.

_I wonder who the fucker is throwing food at us, if they do it one more time I'm going to call them out on it, _Kiyoteru thought clenching his jaw.

Rin saw the annoyance on Kiyoteru's face and whispered to him, "Don't mind them, they're just jealous they don't have a cute girl with them."

"Alright I won't do anything, but I'll tell you this, if you didn't ask me to be the better man right now I probably would've punched one of them in the face, don't worry though, I won't for you." Kiyoteru mumbled smiling at her.

The horror movie ended, the killer having been one of the main protagonists. Len tailed them on their way out and he detected Rin walking closer to him than before signifying the movie had probably spooked her and she was seeking comfort.

He gazed at his younger twin curiously and wondered, _Do you look for consolation from just ANYONE Rin? Does it not matter who it is as long as it's someone nearby? _

He stared at them linger a while in front of the mall by the plaza appearing to be stalling before leaving. If he didn't know them personally, he would've thought them to be a very attractive couple, but his heart was pained by just looking at them. He realized something, why was he putting himself through this? For what reason _really _was he following them for? Was it to affirm that Kiyoteru wasn't such a bad guy, or to see if Rin actually liked him, or was it…to hurt himself? It was the latter…

Unconsciously Len wanted to torment himself, he wanted to know his love for her although as strong as it was, was still wrong, so he in turn punished himself by watching her with another, hoping it would break him mentally enough for him to think, _She is happy with him, she no longer needs me...I don't have to be her protector anymore…_

But he didn't realize this and instead he wondered, _I don't know why I'm putting myself through this, I shouldn't be bothered about who she goes out with, as long as he isn't a complete douche-bag, and from what I've seen today, Kiyoteru isn't all that bad, but I still…I still can't accept it. Why? I'm sure now that I've moved on from that impractical infatuation I had…right?_ He began to agitatedly bite the tip of his thumb.

He hadn't become aware as well of his feelings deep within his subconscious growing stronger for her as she continued to little by little distance herself from him almost to the point they were before, the bond they had cultivated had created a new type of love that wasn't of family-rated material, and he just couldn't see this. He believed he was moving on from her, growing up from his adolescent crush to something more mature, Neru, but here he was following Rin on her date and questioning why he did so in the first place.

Len stopped following them, he thought heatedly to himself, _Fuck this,_ _I shouldn't be so concerned about whatever the hell she's doing, my life does not revolve around her. I am only her older twin brother, not her parent, not her best friend, not her…boyfriend. _

As soon as he left to take the train, Rin felt a strange tug inside her chest as she rode with Kiyoteru in his car on her way home. A strange tingle in the veins of her arteries twinged making her hold her hand over her breast to take a sudden gasp for air.

Kiyoteru looked at her uncomfortably and asked, "Are you alright Rin? Do you want me to open the windows?"

She grinned at him weakly and muttered, "Y-yes I'm fine! I just lost my breath for a second. I guess I need to drink my water that's all."

She knew exactly what this meant, Len was hurting for whatever reason and she had to ensure he was okay.

Kiyoteru dropped her off in front of her house opening her car door like a gentleman before letting her out and saying, "Well Rin, I had a really great time. Can I still take you up on that offer? Do you…wanna' go out with me?"

Rin looked at him for a moment then smiled nodding her head gently. Kiyoteru hugged her firmly being happy at her answer. When he withdrew he cupped both her cheeks with his hands and attempted to kiss her, but Rin turned her head sideways so his lips made contact with her face, not her mouth. He gave her a confused look as to why she refused and she whispered, "Not in front of my house, my parents are home. It's a little embarrassing."

He grinned at her and rubbed the back of his head and stated, "Of course! How stupid of me. Don't worry, I won't try again until the third date. You're a classy girl Rin, and you're well worth the wait anyways."

As soon as Kiyoteru's car was out of view Rin hurriedly unlocked the front door and dashed towards Len's room, her parents already fast asleep having had a hard day of work. She didn't care if she might wake them up, she had to be sure he wasn't hurt, after all she had felt what seemed like _his heart_ in pain inside _her chest_. She knocked on his door with hushed but rapid thumps. He didn't answer, she swung open his door only to find him sleeping peacefully in his pajamas. His white t-shirt was halfway up his body exposing his navel and his gray boxers gently swayed each time a breeze passed through his open window.

She put her hand to her forehead and sighed, then whispered, "Thank goodness, I thought something dreadful had happened to you…it was probably just my imagination." She walked over to him to pull down his shirt and tuck him in, but his eyes shut open and he grabbed her wrist before she could.

He looked at her, eyes widened by her unexpected presence and said quietly, "What are you doing?"

Rin realized he had gotten the wrong idea about what she was doing which caused her to blush and stammer back, "N-not anything _you're thinking_! I w-was just trying to tuck you in!"

He let go of her wrist and rolled over to look at his digital clock. He returned his gaze to her and stated rather seriously, "Why are you home so late? It's 11:30…"

"It's none of your business, you aren't dad or mom you know!" Rin whispered loudly crossing her arms and turning around.

"Did he put his tongue in your mouth?"' Len said devoid of emotion while jumping to conclusions. He stood close behind her, she could feel his body warmth radiating onto her skin.

"Why would you care anyways? I thought you told everyone it isn't any of your business who I date and who I don't date! Those were _your_ very words _remember_?" she replied angrily facing him this time.

Len scoffed at her and stated mockingly, "I was just wondering if you finally got your first kiss! It's _about time_ you got a guy to like you! -In fact I'm even _surprised_ he decided to go out with _you_ in the first place!"

She glared at him, her sapphire gaze burning into his own and whispered loudly, "What is your deal? Why are you being so mean to me? Aren't you supposed to be happy that I'm finally with someone?"

He stared at her, eyes narrowed and said indifferently, "I am…please get out. I need to sleep."

"I hate you." Rin muttered and stomped out of his room, throwing a plastic bag at his feet.

He leaned his back onto his door then slumped to the floor, looking at the bag she had left in front of him. He opened it and inside was a tiny blue candle within a plastic box that had 'Len' carved at the bottom of it. He held it to his cheek and closed his eyes hard.

He deliberated intensively causing him to furrow his brows, _I'm screwed up in the head…I didn't want to attack her like that, but I couldn't control myself. I only wanted to tease her about him, not make her hate me. I have to fix this, without getting too attached to her this time. I need the right amount of how sorry I am, too much and I'll fall into the emptiness of no return, too little and we'll be like we were before…but first…_

He pulled out his phone and called Neru.

"Mmm-hmm? Thisss is Neru speaking." She said groggily.

"It's Len, um sorry. Did I wake you?" he asked quietly, afraid Rin might hear him down the hallway in her room.

"Not really, I was just taking a light nap. Did you want to talk about something?" Neru replied rubbing her eyes.

"I'll apologize in advance for being so hasty regarding what I'm about to say but….will you go out with me Neru?" Len spoke steadily, his hand still holding the little blue candle.

She muted her phone so she could scream and do a little dance before she answered calmly, "Sure-why not? We like each other right? Uh…was that all you wanted to chat about Len?"

"Y-yes. I'm sorry for bothering you so late, I just figured I couldn't wait any longer. I'll let you get back to sleeping, I'm pretty tired myself too. Err…how about we talk about where we'll go on our date first thing tomorrow morning?" he said trying to smile on the other side of the phone.

"Alright! I'll call you around 10, I have a really cool place I want to show you that just opened. Is that okay with you Len?" Neru stated enthusiastically.

"Yeah let's do that, it sounds like a lot of fun. Well then, goodnight Neru." Len spoke hiding the sadness swelling in his throat.

"Goodnight Len._*beep*"

Len stood up from the ground, blue candle in hand and walked noiselessly towards Rin's bedroom. He knocked lightly on her door to which she said, "Go away, I don't want to see your face."

He opened her door in spite of her commands, held out the candle she bought to her and said softly, "Thank you for this. I'm sorry for being such a dick earlier, will you please forgive me Rin?"

She glanced over her shoulder at him while she lay on her bed hugging her pillow tightly and muttered, "I…I guess I can forgive you…"

He laughed at her obvious childish refusal to meet his stare which made her turn around and say, "What's so hilarious that you're laughing about?"

"Nothing, well then…good night Rin." Len whispered slowly closing her door.

Rin suddenly wobbled trying to get out of her bed and said hastily, "Wait!"

She went over to hug him goodnight, she felt as though it took a lot of courage to apologize after acting so cruel, she knew now that the pain in her chest earlier was his jealousy being transmitted to her, so she couldn't blame him for being grumpy towards her. "Goodnight Len." She cooed to him before they parted.

That night Len wouldn't dream about the faceless girl at all, instead he would dream of another person entirely, and this dream would deceive him into doing something in his waking life that he would regret for the rest of his life.

**A/N: Since you took the time to read please review/see you next chapter!**** :P**


	6. Chapter 6: Skin Of A Certain Girl

**Chapter 6: Skin Of A Certain Girl**

*Riiiiiing* *BeepBeep…BeepBeep* *Riiiiiiing*

"Hello?" Len answered tiredly, tying his blond hair up.

"Durrr, it's me Neru! It's ten already, did you just wake up silly?" she giggled curling the cord of her phone around her finger.

"Oh yeah! I'm so sorry Neru, I slept _really_ late last night. Don't mind it though-I can get ready really fast!" He said stumbling as he pulled up his jeans.

"It's okay, I don't mind. I'm not even at the place yet myself! Did you get the address I texted you?" Neru asked cheerfully.

"Y-yeah. I'll probably be there in around twenty minutes. The place is called 'Laser Heaven' right?" Len questioned looking at a scribbled piece of paper he was holding.

"Yup, well I'll see you later then! Bye!" Neru said.

"See ya' Neru…"

*beep*

Before Len left his house for the train Rin saw him all dressed up and asked timidly, "You look awful nice today. Are you meeting with someone Len?"

He gazed up at her at the first step of the staircase, her striped underwear completely visible, he turned away quickly and stuttered, "Uh y-yeah, a few of my male friends from track are hanging out today…"

"Where to?" Rin persisted, placing her hand on the staircase rail.

"I don't know yet, all they gave me was an address. Well gotta' go! Bye!" he proclaimed loudly as he shut the front door.

Her brother was gone, she felt him to be hiding something from her, but she ignored these feelings and went back to her room.

Rin's mother became startled when she saw a depressed expression on her face as she headed to her room and said, "Honey, you feeling sick or something? Do need some tea maybe?"

"No thanks mom. I just need some more sleep…" Rin replied gloomily.

"Alright sweetie. If you decide to change your mind, I'll leave the pot steaming for you on low heat." Her mother stated somewhat concerned.

**Meanwhile With Len…**

Exactly as he had assumed he was there in twenty minutes finding Neru standing in front of the main entrance sign wearing a white tank top and denim skinny jeans, her hair in its usual high side pony tail.

"You look lovely Neru. Sorry, did you wait long?" Len proclaimed looking her over.

Neru grinned at him widely and explained, "Stop apologizing stupid! -And no I didn't wait long. Common! Let's go in before the line gets long!"

They ran like there was no tomorrow and ended up third in line behind two other groups. The two then suited up in black Velcro with special sensors, goggles, and gloves, all provided with the entry fee. Len was pleasantly surprised at how sexy a girl could look completely geared up like this, and felt proud that he was with such a attractive young woman on a date, he had forgotten what it was like to be romantically entangled with another. He hadn't dated since Freshman Year of high school, and the girl he was with, although beautiful was in the end not quite what he was looking for, so he decided to end it.

One of the employees separated the first batch about to play laser tag by giving all fourteen people a number from one to fourteen, Len was the even number 12, so he was on an opposing team to Neru who was number 13. The odds and the evens were separated into Team Neon Orange and Team Neon Green.

The young man who was to be referee during the round began to explain, "Okay people you can only be shot once with a laser in a non-fatal zone to continue playing, meaning anywhere except the head, or the vital organs, after you get shot again you're out. Also, NO aiming at other people's eyes, the beams are very strong and can blind people temporarily, if any of you do that you're disqualified automatically. The game will go on until there are no players left on another team or until the time-up alarm rings which will be in 45 minutes. Alright people, pick a spot to take cover, when the alarm sounds the match will begin."

Neru hid near a few girls her age behind an inflated wall, she could feel the existence of her enemies looming by and she braced herself for the alarm.

*RINGGGGGGGG!*

A few people jumped out immediately into the fray, two guys on Len's team were shot over the heart by a more experienced player, this gave Neru the advantage, she would wait until other players took care of the opposing team for her instead of risking running out and getting shot with a laser. Len on the other hand was good with a gun, he had already taken out one person, his confidence swelling from this triumph. Eventually the teams dwindled down to just three people on Neru's Orange Team and two people on Len's Green Team.

Len could feel his heart pounding through his Neon colored vest, he knew there were two other guys left on the other team along with Neru, he didn't want to have to take her out himself, so he asked the last guy on his team to do it for him, which he did-except, Neru shot him over the lungs leaving only Len on his team. His hands were trembling knowing his 'dead' comrades were putting all their faith into him, the sweat on his hairline began to drip down his neck out of fear he'd be spotted. He turned a corner, scanned his surroundings and ducked, then he turned another corner only to run into Neru who drew out her laser-gun as fast as he did leaving them at a draw.

She smirked at him mischievously and whispered, "Put down your weapon soldier, you're already outnumbered…"

He grinned slyly back at her and muttered, "The battle isn't over until I'm dead."

She didn't have to shoot him herself though, another player had sneaked up behind him and shot him in a fatal zone, the Neon Orange Team had won. As soon as Len realized he had lost the game for his side he cursed himself mentally, but was interrupted by Neru removing his goggles to kiss him gently on the lips making one of the remaining guys on her team yell out, "Mutiny! We have a traitor on our squad!" Everyone burst out into laughter, even the players already out to which Neru whispered to Len, "Don't worry soldier, you're a winner in my heart."

Len could feel his cheeks burn out of both embarrassment and longing, a sensation he knew _all too well_. He and Neru played a few games like air-hockey, arcade bowling, basket ball, and arcade fighting games before they decided to take a cab home, the hours having flown by until it was seven at night.

They stepped inside the cab that Len had found through the phonebook and paid a small extra fee to have the driver there at Laser Heaven at the moment they left.

"Watch your step Neru…" Len stated holding her hand as she stepped in.

"Ooh, what a gentleman you are Len…" Neru said bashfully combing her bangs out of her eyes.

During the ride home he peered out his window at the dying summer sun as they sat wordlessly beside each other. Neither of them spoke, and he suddenly felt a soft hand holding his own, her female skin creating friction every time the car would drive over a bump or a ditch in the road. She was looking out her own window too, with the faintest smile on her face, this moment right now was perfect to Len, nothing could ruin his day.

The driver dropped Neru at her house, but not without a sentimental goodbye of course.

"This has been the most fun I'd had in a long time, thanks Len for agreeing to go to the place I suggested. How about next date you pick, we can take turns." Neru proclaimed eagerly while walking up the steps of her porch.

"How about next week on Saturday we go the park? I want to experience a _real_ summer you know? I want to lay in the grass, hear the wind, all of that stuff. What d'ya say?" Len asked taking her hand as they strolled to her door.

She beamed at him revealing a perfect white smile and hugged him whispering quietly into his chest, "That sounds wonderful, let's do that. I'll call you tomorrow about it, I should get going, my parents are waiting for me. See you later Len…"

"Hold on just a second!" he protested hastily.

He began to narrow the already tiny space between them so that she was leaning against her front door as he placed each of his arms as a barrier on it so that she couldn't escape. He leaned in for a kiss, and she accepted him willingly as his tongue slid into her mouth. It was hot, he could feel the moisture on her body as he began to rhythmically move his mouth over hers. Suddenly he was getting carried away, writhing and panting, pushing his body onto her figure so that she would gently tremble, she too was beginning to feel that her knees would give way. Then he realized if he didn't stop now…he wouldn't be able to later. Their lips departed and they stared at each other's lustful glazed-over faces. He bid her a final goodnight and rode home replaying this scene in his head over and over again, absorbing the pleasurable feeling of being with such a pretty girl.

"Hey there kiddo'! Haven't seen you in a while, your mother and I made pasta, take a bite, you look hungry." Len's father said as he put plates in the dishwasher.

"Oh honey, you look so cute today! Did you hang-out with your friends or with a girl?" his mother inquired playfully ruffling up his hair.

"Ugh! Stop it Mom! I'm not a little kid anymore, and yes I was with a girl." Len muttered with a hint of annoyance. He took a slice of pasta and sat at the dinner table.

He was just about to take a bite when he heard pitter patter down the stairs. He looked up from his fork to see Rin all dolled-up like the time they went to the Blue Moon Festival not too long ago. She was wearing a cream transparent rose-patterned sundress that had a large maroon bow on the upper waist and ruffles at the bottom. He dropped his fork, but he picked it up swiftly after and began to eat pretending not to see her.

"Rin sweetie! Go eat dinner now, it's ready. When you two are done, don't forget to put your plates in the dish washer." Their mother said as she went upstairs.

"Alright Len, all you have to do is start the wash cycle, I'm going to bed. Also, tomorrow your mother and I decided we are all going to go to the park since we haven't been spending a lot of family time together because of work. Set your alarm to nine am okay son?" his father proclaimed as he took his suitcase and fedora then went upstairs.

The room was almost silent now, the only sounds that were being made was from the grasshoppers and some cicadas outside. Rin took a slice of pasta and sat across from him so that he would be forced to face her.

They ate without speaking for a while until she said abruptly, "Did you have fun with your friends from track?"

He stopped chewing and thought, _Oh yeah…that's right, I didn't tell her that I was actually going on a date with Neru, okay…now I just have to keep up the lie…_

"Yeah, it was fun." He replied casually and resumed chewing.

"Where did you go?" Rin continued as she sliced her food.

"Laser Heaven. It's this new arcade that just opened." Len answered.

"Did you win or lose?" she questioned indifferently.

"My tream rosht." He responded, mouth stuffed with pasta.

"Did Neru look pretty?" Rin said, cutting another piece of her meal.

"Yesh." Len stated but then tensed up. _Shit, she got me._ He swallowed hard before saying, "Neru always looks pretty whenever, why did you bring her up?"

"Maybe it's because you're _lying_ to me. Why didn't you just tell me you were going on a date with her? Do you not _trust me_ or something?" Rin asked staring at her uneaten food appearing hurt.

"Okay, you've caught me…I was on a date with a girl, big woop-dee-doo! Now we're both dating someone…why is that such a big deal that I have to tell you? It's not like you're my _best guy friend_ or something! You're my _sister_, shouldn't you be worrying about your own life?" Len proclaimed bashing his pasta.

She stared at him intensely, gaze narrowed and stated, "You were the same with me a few days ago about Kiyoteru! You are awful _nosey_ for someone who preaches what they _don't practice_ _themselves_…"

She got him there, but he knew that because she was a girl their situation was different. She could get pregnant, the guy could leave her like they do in most teen pregnancies or end in divorce from a hasty unplanned marriage.

Len didn't have to worry about that, as long as he always wore a condom every time he had sex, his chances of getting Neru pregnant were low so he said rather firmly, "It's not the same with you, you're a girl. You have the ability to become pregnant, and even though a guy might tell you he loves you over and over again, when it comes down to it, many young men freak out about becoming a father. They become scared and run away, because it's the easiest option they have, they can go back to their lives and leave the girl they 'love' alone with a crying baby for the rest of her life. She will always be a mother as long as that child is alive, but if the father decides to leave, he is never coming back and he loses that title…"

_Why are you so worried about me? Why couldn't you show me such sensitivity these past few years? Where has your heart and mind been hiding all this time? You hide from me, mom, and dad-why can't you show us that you aren't that emotionless wall that you paint yourself out to be? _Rin thought biting her bottom lip.

She examined his face, his sincere azure eyes, his slightly tanned skin, the sharpness of his tiny nose and then she explained gently, "I know that. I know I can get pregnant, but I'm not one of those girls we see every once in a while, walking alone in school, the guy having broken up with her and with a stomach about to burst. I know better than to just give a guy, my first time…"

"Are you waiting until he says he loves you? As a guy, I know these words are empty most of the time, all young guys want…is to have sex. I know this is true, because my friends in track talk about how to get laid all the time. How to get the girl to say yes without making a commitment if possible, how to leave her with the least amount of drama, how to get another girl. Right now in our youth, our hormones are raging, we do before we think, that's just how most guys are…especially at this age." Len persisted.

"I know that too, but…maybe Kiyoteru is different. Maybe he will be one of those few high school guys who actually really like their girlfriend, and not just want to get in her pants, but want to know everything else about her: her habits, how she does things, her favorite possessions, her hobbies, everything…" Rin said solemnly, her meal still untouched.

"Hopefully, he turns out to be one of the few Rin. I hope for you that he is." Len stated, he then stood up, put his plate in the dishwasher and went to his room.

That night the faceless girl did not appear in his dreams like she did on most nights. On this night he dreamt of someone he knew, someone who he talks to on a regular basis, the very someone he was dating.

Len awoke in his dream world to find himself in a park. It was sunset again, like on most days in his dreams, and again there was no wind, there were however butterflies, dozens and dozens of white glowing butterflies. He began to run, enjoying the feeling of the cool grass beneath his toes, the pleasant sound of the soft crunch he made whenever he stepped on it, and finally he felt himself to be at peace. After loitering about for a while he began to look for the mysterious girl like he always did, to see what she would do to him today. Would she be cruel like a few nights ago, or kind like she was on most occasions?

He searched for her everywhere, but it seemed the more he sought her out, the more butterflies would appear. Eventually there were so many of them he couldn't even see in front of his face, he was consumed by them, like an ocean engulfing his body, he was drowning in a never ending sea of white glowing wings. He surrendered to them, this enormous mass of living creatures until he was buried alive by their bodies, and then there was nothing. In fact he couldn't see anything, hear anything, feel anything, taste anything, he was just 'being', 'existing', and 'present'. He was dying away, the live mound of butterflies had eaten him alive, but then he heard a sweet voice, and his heart… sped up. The beating in his chest pulsated so violently that it exposed his face, the only thing that could be seen amongst the dead insect carcasses on the ground.

A hand gently touched his cheeks, they brushed a few wings from the sides of his face so that Len's entire head was freed from the bugs. His eyes fluttered open and he saw not the faceless girl, but Neru, in the faceless girl's clothes.

"Is..is that you Neru?" Len asked hazily, his senses slowly returning.

"I am whoever you want me to be…I am all that you desire in any mold you wish me to present to you." The girl said.

Len thought, _But she's Neru right? She looks like her, sounds like her, she even has her side pony tail, this is Neru in my dreams…isn't it? _

She smiled at him gently and pulled his body out of the mass of dead white butterflies surrounding him to hold his head against her chest as they sat on the ground. She ran her fingers through his blond tufts of hair, his face was buried in between her breasts making his cheeks burn, but the embarrassment melted away when she said, "Do not be ashamed of your desires Len. After all, I am not real, just everything you have ever wanted, so please..relax my love."

He shut his eyes as soon as she began to hum, a tune that felt familiar but alien all at once. With his eyes closed his other senses became heightened and he became aware once more of the dead sea of white insects they were sitting in.

He asked the Neru-lookalike, "Why are they all dead?"

She giggled at him then explained, "They are not dead silly, they are merely pretending to be _snow_. Watch this Len…"

The girl picked up one of the 'deceased' butterflies with her thumb and index finger and held it up to Len. She then whispered to it, "You can stop pretending now, he is no longer afraid."

The limp insect abruptly sprung back to life and fluttered away. The girl stated more loudly this time, "You can all stop pretending now. He is not scared, you are all free…"

The mass of butterflies became alive again, and a backwards rainfall followed. The sound of fluttering wings and flapping bodies of the insects remained for a moment and then they returned to the sky they came from exposing the emerald grass once more.

He didn't understand her, why wouldn't he be scared of being swarmed by bugs? Wasn't this a _normal_ reaction to something like that? So the still confused Len said, "Why shouldn't I be scared, they _engulfed_ me. Also, what did that mean…that I am no longer afraid?"

"You are no longer afraid of loving another, so once you accepted me, the shroud over your heart, the butterflies let you go. The key to your success Len…falls in whether you can keep up your determination or whether you fall into the abyss of no return." The Neru-lookalike clarified.

"What…is the abyss of no return?" Len spoke in a hushed voice.

"You should not ask questions you already know the answer to Len, only ask the ones you don't know at all. You know what the abyss is, you just refuse to see it, its origins, and its place in your memories." The girl continued.

_The abyss, is it a place I have been before if it's already in my memories? _Len wondered.

This dream was wonderful, so he decided to stop asking questions and just enjoy Neru's company as she had promptly continued torun her delicate fingers through his hair, resuming the tune she was singing. Then a large faceless man appeared out of nowhere. He laughed making Len open his eyes to find a gun being placed at the back of Neru's head, the safety latch was undone. He was speechless, in complete shock, before he could even scream the man shot her. There was ringing in Len's ears, and in slow motion a pink mist fell out of the front of her forehead onto Len's face, he wiped his cheek and on his fingers was crimson ink, her blood was splattered all over his face. Len screamed maniacally, losing all composure, the Neru-lookalike's face faded, and faded, and faded until he realized that she was the faceless girl in disguise, even her hair returned to normal. Her limp lifeless body resting on his lap. He began to cry hysterically grabbing at his hair with both hands as he stared up at the heavens, his dream girl leaking a pool of blood around them.

Len awoke screaming, he hushed himself quickly after realizing he was no longer in the dream, but in the real world, and his tears in the dream were now streaming down his face into the hands that covered his mouth. He stopped shuddering after he grasped that despite tasting the iron from the faceless girl's blood sprinkled on him, that the girl did not exist, and that she was merely a figment of his imagination, an imagination that was becoming increasingly unsettling.

He sat there, stunned for a while, unable to come to terms with the violence that his reverie had attained. His pondering was interrupted by Rin coming into his room without knocking.

"Are you okay? I heard you screaming and I thought that someone was breaking into the house…" she whispered, she was wearing another one of those long shirts she used as dresses.

"I'm o-okay, it w-was nothing…go back to sleep…" Len told her, pulling his blanket over himself so that he could hurriedly wipe his watery eyes.

"You're crying! There's nothing okay about you _screaming and crying_ in the middle of the night!" she said loudly walking rapidly towards him.

He upheld his hand to her to motion her to stop and whispered loudly, "Be quite! Do you want to wake up our parents?"

"No…but tell me what's wrong..." She persisted anxiously.

"I had a nightmare, that's ALL alright? Now go back to sleep." He muttered facing the wall as he lay in his bed.

"I'm going to go to sleep with you then, I'll be your dream-catcher." Rin declared placing herself in his bed.

"G-get out! What're you doing?" Len stammered nervously.

"I'll protect you, you never had bad dreams when we shared a room, now scoot over." Rin explained.

He knew once she made up her mind that he couldn't stop her, plus if he fought with her about it their parents were _bound_ to stir so he consented to her offerings and ignored her presence. It was not long before Len was sleeping again, Rin on the other hand was not. She opened her eyes as soon as she was sure he was asleep, his signature light snoring the only resonance in the room excluding the bugs outside. She heard him mumbling faintly as he dreamt, so she decided to talk to him as he did, pretending that he was awake.

"Len…do you love me?" she asked not expecting an answer. She watched his chest heave up and down gently and wondered when he would tell her he loved her the way she wanted him to (not knowing that the love she craved wasn't what he wanted to give her, because it was forbidden). She thought he hadn't heard her…

"My heart…has always been…yours." Len mumbled in between sleeping breaths.

This is the moment he would regret for the rest of his life. Even in his sleep, did his dreams get the better of his waking life, this is when the seed in _Rin's heart_ began to bloom, only now was the love reciprocated, it wouldn't be long before they came to terms with what it was…

**A/N: Please review!**** :D**

**Sorry that it took so long, I've been busy lately.**


	7. Chapter 7: If Everyone Else Only Knew

**Chapter 7: If Everyone Else Only Knew**

The sound of birds chirping awoke Len this particular morning, his dream-catching sister was no longer by his side. It was almost 9 so he put on some clothes, their family was going to go to the park today and he wondered what lasting memories would await him later that evening.

He was the last one downstairs, they were all eating waffles, something Len's father had prepared earlier as he let his wife sleep in. He glanced over to see Rin wearing the same cream-colored rose patterned dress with the maroon bow she was wearing yesterday.

Len afterwards realized,_ Oh, so yesterday she was just trying out what outfits she wanted to wear for today…_

"Good morning honey! You better eat fast, everyone else is almost done. We want to get there before they run out of those delicious smoothies that one stall has at the park." Len's mother announced, her plate almost emptied.

It was rare to see his mother sitting next to Rin at the dinner table, she usually sat at the head of it facing their father, but it was only now that he could see that Rin got all her beauty from her. The same rosy cheeks, cerulean eyes, and shiny blonde hair. Len questioned when he grew older would he begin to look like his father after he saw the resemblance Rin had with their mom, would he get the same strong jaw line, piercing blue eyes, and short flaxen hair like James Dean from the 50's? Maybe, all he knew know was that his feminine features were beginning to become less soft. He grabbed a few waffles and began to eat.

He looked at Rin who completely disregarded him as he sat down, something he wasn't used to, so he said to her, "You look extra nice today. Is that dress new?"

"Mm hmm." She replied apathetically, she then put her plate in the sink and went to her room.

_That was weird…_Len thought. Rin was usually fishing for his attention, upbeat and bubbly, at the moment she felt alien to him, and his mother noticed.

"Hmm, your little sister seems to be a bit grumpy today. Be more kind to her okay Len? She's a sensitive one, god _knows_ what's going on in that pretty little head of hers." His mother proclaimed.

When they arrived at the park they were met by perfect weather, their parents immediately set up a large red checkered blanket on a grassy hill overlooking the pond and sat on it. Their mother was drinking her favorite smoothie, tropical peach (the stall hadn't run out after all) and their father was day dreaming beside her, his head on her lap as she sipped away. He immediately remembered the faceless girl being shot in his dreams the night before when he saw his parents sitting like that and told them he was going to skip rocks on the pond. He felt if he stayed any longer near them while they were positioned as they were..that it would trigger a panic attack in him.

Rin who was sitting beside them reading a book detected his strange behavior and told their parents, "Mom, can you watch my stuff? I'm think I'm going to join him."

"Okay sweetie, be careful down there." Their mother said then stated quietly to their father, "They grow up so fast don't they honey? I wish we could be with them a little longer, they're going to graduate soon aren't they?"

"Yes they are, but we can only watch them as they head off into the world. We've raised two healthy kids into young adults haven't we?" their father proclaimed blissfully.

**Meanwhile With The Twins…**

"Can I join you?" Rin asked as Len was picking up some more flat stones.

"Sure." He answered piling up a stack of rocks then continued, "You okay? You seem kind of different today…"

_Of course I'm different, yesterday you told me 'your heart belonged to me' while you were sleeping!_ She thought feeling progressively more embarrassed as she remembered the night before.

"I'm n-not different! It must be y-your imagination!" Rin sputtered out nervously.

He laughed at her, there it was again, the laugh that would make her feel as though she could no longer stand because her knees became useless. He then grinned widely at Rin and placed a few large pebbles in her hand, their palms caressing making them withdraw quickly and imagine they hadn't.

She threw a stone hard at the pond, hating herself for acting so jumpy around her brother, someone who's opinion of her shouldn't have _mattered_ so much, he was only her _twin_ after all. The rock landed into the water with a heavy plop, not even skipping once. She continued to throw her pebbles forcefully, each time they made a loud plopping sound and sunk like a broken ship.

Len watched her persisting to fail until he became annoyed and told her, "Stop doing that, here let me teach you."

He demonstrated how to throw them, which was gently and by using the wrist, not the elbow like she had been doing. She imitated as he did, but her stones still refused to skip, so he asked her, "Do you mind if I stand behind you and show you how?"

"I…I don't mind." Rind said shyly, she wasn't going to let her childish behavior get in the way of speaking normally with Len.

He then stood behind Rin and placed both his hands on her hands and pulled out the motion that would allow her to get the maximum amount of skips. It was a practice motion, but for some reason instead of paying attention to what he was saying she couldn't help but feel like she saw flaming inside. It was like a furnace inside her chest, the sun, the sun wasn't making it any better, and his arms encircling her didn't either. It was too much, his hands on top of hers, his body pressed against her rear, his soft breathing on the back of her head…she fainted in his arms.

"Rin? Rin! Are you okay? Wake-up!" Len stated loudly, he slapped her lightly on the face to wake her up from her daze, it didn't work, Rin's beautiful face did not stir. He put his head to her chest, there was a constant heartbeat, she was alive but probably had a heat stroke.

_Why is this happening to me? _Len thought panicking, he didn't know whether or not to ask his parents for help or just give her CPR on the spot. He did the latter, if his parents found out that she had collapsed, he wouldn't hear the end of it. So he placed his lips on hers for the very first time in his life…but not for the very last time…

She had merely blacked out from the over stimulation and the increasing heat of the day, she opened her eyes to see long dark blond eyelashes centimeters away from her face, and she knew that Len was giving her CPR. He was breathing air into her, she could feel the air from his lungs going into her throat and she tensed, it was enough for Len to stop inhalation and look at her to see if she was awake. She was conscious _now_ but she quickly closed her eyes and pretended to _still_ be passed out.

Rin didn't know why she was doing this and wondered, _Why am I being so mean to him? I'm awake, but I want to see his reaction, I'm sorry Len, I'm just curious as to what you'll do when you're awake in respects to when you're asleep like before. _

He brushed her hair off her face and whispered, "Rin…are you alright?" When she didn't respond he held her close to his body, so that his face was buried in her chest, he was squeezing her, crushing her even to the point that Rin could no longer fake being knocked out.

"Lennn?" she mumbled out weakly to him (quite convincingly I might add).

"What happened to you? One minute you are standing by my side the next you're on the ground!" he yelled at her.

"I'm sorry, the sun must've been too much for me, I think I'm going to lay in the shade for a while…I feel kind of dizzy." Rin told him truthfully this time.

"You should've said something…well…I guess I'll go with you, to make sure you're not alone if you pass out again." Len proclaimed.

He took hold of her hand and led her back to their blanket on the hill, his broad palm atop her petite one, and their fingers intertwining. They met their parents, completely unaware of Rin's collapse. Their father was reading a book and their mother having finished her drink was now enjoying the scenery, they were far enough from the pond that they hadn't heard or seen anything.

"Oh! You two are finally back. Good! Your father and I want to go canoeing!" their mother announced ecstatically. She then slapped their father's book out of his hands, grabbed his wrist and pulled him to the pond's dock where they had canoes for rent.

"Mom has always been the spontaneous one hasn't she?" Len told Rin as he looked at the book their father was reading.

"Yeah…I suppose so…I'm going to take a nap now…" Rin muttered hazily, and within a few moments was lightly asleep.

As she napped Len was taking pleasure in watching the liveliness of the park: the families walking by, the people at the far end of the pond feeding the ducks, couples taking a stroll while eating ice cream…and then one particular couple caught his eye.

A young brunette pair was sitting on a bench nearby the hill Len was on, the man pretending to sleep and the woman tickling him so that he would 'wake up'. It appeared to be a game they were playing, the young man laughed and his punishment was a kiss, they resumed to chase each other down a hill and out of Len's view.

He then contemplated, _When will be the day I have a love with someone so strong that I'm not embarrassed to flaunt it in public like them? Will Neru and I ever reach that point? _

He glanced at Rin sleeping beside him. Her hands were somewhat curled and lay close to her chest, her hair had fallen onto her face, and the maroon bow on her head had moved so that it was now lopsided. Len thought she must've been cold because a cool summer breeze had started up, so he pulled a little bit of the blanket over her, but she turned sideways and one of her arms flew up and fell on him. He almost collapsed onto her when her arm abruptly swung at him, but now it left him hovering on top of her, her lips so _dangerously_ close.

He remembered giving her CPR, during the whole ordeal he was only worried about her well-being, at present the longing in his heart started to sink in. She was _so close_, so close it hurt to be near her, to see her, to know her, he just wanted to know what it felt like…with _her_ as opposed to other people…

_One kiss isn't that big of a deal right? Most people have kissed their siblings on the mouth at least once in their lives. When I was giving her CPR, I wasn't thinking about anything else but saving her. But right now… just one quick peck on the mouth wouldn't hurt her..It's just so I can get it out of my system, out of my thoughts… so that I'll never have to wonder ever again…therefore allowing me to continue my relationship with Neru without weird thoughts. _

He convinced himself that one kiss would do no harm, that it would be an _innocent_ little peck, that this was all he needed to stop thinking about impossible possibilities with Rin, his younger twin sister, and so he did it…he actually _kissed_ her..

Their mouths made contact, lips caressing lips, her warm breath soft on his cheeks, her long eyelashes grazing his skin, her hair firmly in his grip as he gently placed his mouth upon hers while he leaned _on top_ of her body, being careful so that their torsos wouldn't touch. It was a closed-mouth kiss, but it was more than he bargained for. Len's sensations went wild- he breathed her in, the smell of her flesh reminded him of orchids, the subtle feel of the plumpness of her mouth against his rough one was almost enough to get him carried away, even the sound of her soft feminine breathing was stimulating, he could nearly taste his mouth yearning to open and invade her further…but he stopped, he withdrew forcibly and recognized…he could not fight such feelings, he would merely have to accept them and hide them for the rest of his life…

He removed his hovering body from hers to soak in her features, the sereneness of her resting face, and how he had dirtied it with his own filthiness. He had stained her with his immoral hands, she was something that he swore to himself he would _protect_ and yet…he wanted to destroy her with his love.

_I'm so fucking sick…I cannot deny my feelings anymore, I love you Rin, in a way I should never love a girl that is my sister…I'm going to hell…aren't I? What..what have I done…? _Len thought fearing that his actions would send her along with him.

Their parents hadn't returned yet, so he decided to leave Rin to take a walk and clear his head. He didn't know…that he would run into Kiyoteru who has seen almost _all of it_. During the entire time, Kiyoteru had been walking the family dog around the park only to look up a hill and see Len _moving back_ from Rin, _not actually_ _kissing_ her, but he already had suspicions about their awkward relationship and if _that_ was the reason, now he knew why.

He was wandering around one of the smaller ponds when he ran into Kiyoteru who was walking a small dog.

"Oh….uh, hey Kiyoteru…I didn't know you went to this park too." Len stated, somewhat still lost in his own thoughts.

"Yeah, I come here to walk my parent's dog every day. I didn't know that you went here as well." Kiyoteru proclaimed pushing up his black rimmed glasses.

"Yeah, my mom likes to go here for the smoothies and canoes." Len explained looking in the direction his family's blanket was set up.

"I also didn't know that you kiss other people's girlfriends while they're _asleep_, especially girls that happen to be your _sister_." Kiyoteru suddenly said, his ebony eyes burned into Len's, and his face was so serious he almost didn't recognize him.

Len was stunned, immobile even, he didn't know how to respond to such a question, but he swallowed hard and replied uneasily, "What are you talking about? I don't know what you mean…"

"Quit the act Kagamine, I saw you with my _own_ two eyes! You kissed _your sister_, I'm almost sure of it! You are fucking disgusting Len!" Kiyoteru yelled, both his hands were clenched, even the tiny dog he had with him became scared.

_He knows, he fucking KNOWS, what am I going to do? I think..I think I'm going to throw up. No! All I did was kiss her, that's ALL I did. Plus, how is he so sure I actually kissed her? We were on one of the highest hills in the park!_ Len thought anxiously, steadying his breathing.

"I still don't know what the hell you're talking about. All I did was remove some leaves from her hair!" Len declared nearly shouting, his lie was so convincing that he actually got Kiyoteru to believe him.

"You were? Maybe I saw wrong…but don't think that means I will not have my suspicions about how you feel about her, even though you're dating Neru. Sometimes I wonder what it's like for a teenage boy to have a sister _that_ beautiful and _not_ take note of it…" Kiyoteru insinuated, smirking at him.

"She's my sister…that's all there is to it." Len proclaimed trying to sound as nonchalant about it as possible.

"Perhaps, but if _I_ had a sister _that_ pretty, it would be hard not to wonder sometimes, _what if_? Thankfully for myself, that is not the case and I can date her without reservation. For _you_ however, you can only dream, only wonder what it's like to be _inside_ _her_." Kiyoteru proclaimed mockingly, the tiny dog he was walking began to bark frantically.

That was the last straw, no one was going to talk about Rin like that, not even her boyfriend. Len gritted his teeth, hastily treaded towards Kiyoteru and socked him hard on the face with his right fist, breaking one of the lenses of his glasses and sending him to the floor. The dog began to snap at Len and paced back and forth around him.

Kiyoteru rubbed his reddened cheek and said, "That is an awful _big_ reaction for someone who claims that Rin is _merely_ his sister."

"Whatever Kiyoteru, no one speaks about my family like that, not even if they're dating them." Len asserted, he then left Kiyoteru to go back to the hill Rin was sleeping, his fist becoming raw and his knuckles turning a vibrant crimson.

He found Rin awake and staring up at the heavens as she lay on the blanket, naively unaware of the kiss he had planted on her earlier that day.

"Look Len…at the sky…it's just so blue today. I feel like I'm sinking into it…" Rin said softly, their parents had just come back from the canoe ride and sat down beside them.

"Are you guys having fun here at the park? If you want to buy ice cream or anything else there's a stall by the pier on the main pond." Their father said handing a vanilla cone to their mother.

"That looks delicious! Can we dad?" Rin stated excitedly, her eyes lighting up with childish delight.

"Yeah of course, they're only two dollars a scoop. Go on, go ahead!" their father replied taking a bite out of his strawberry ice cream.

They leisurely walked to the pier simply relishing in one another's company speaking not even a word the entire time. Len was trying to remove the thoughts of her supple lips from his mind, Rin on the other hand was attempting to absorb every moment of this unnatural happiness she was feeling ever since she stirred from her nap.

The twins bought vanilla and strawberry, just like their parents, except Len had the vanilla and Rin got the strawberry. They began to talk, feeling as though the silence should be broken now that they had bought their ice treats.

"Doesn't this happiness feel rather abnormal to you Len? I feel like it is, when I woke up from napping, I felt so content it surprised me…" Rin told him as she licked her single scoop.

He knew it was because her sleeping body, though unconscious was still able to recognize another person's presence suspended over hers, and most likely their lips touching as well.

"This happiness doesn't seem strange to me, because I don't see anything better about today than any other day. It's just a regular ol' day Rin." He said taking a bite out of his cone, completely hiding the fact that he had taken advantage of her while she was sleeping.

She stared at her brother as he ate his ice cream, and noted that his right hand was red and flushed around the knuckles, she grew alarmed by how wounded it was and stated worriedly, "Len! What happened to your hand? It's injured!"

He thought somberly, _You'll never know that these wounds were made for you…_

"Oh this? I…tripped while I was taking a walk. I know it _looks bad_ but it doesn't really hurt that much…" Len proclaimed placing his wounded knuckles into her view.

"Give me your hand Len." Rin declared with a stern look on her face.

He did as he was told and handed her his right hand. Rin sifted through her bag for an antiseptic (something she carried around because she was clumsy and fell often). She then squeezed a few drops onto the tips of her fingers and gently ran them over his knuckles. Len felt his wounds cool from the ointment, it felt good but then he flinched as he watched her blow air onto the cream, her lips so near to his own skin once more. Before she placed a bandage onto his injures she kissed his wound softly a few times, the ointment no longer felt cool, the place she touched with her lips was burning both symbolically and literally with his desire.

She smiled at him and said, "All done! I gave your boo-boo a special prayer when I kissed it just like Mom used to do for us when we were little!"

He returned her smile and was about to tell her 'thank you' when her cell phone began to ring.

"Hello this is Rin speaking. Oh…really?...That sounds like fun….yeah he'll probably go too…..I have to ask my parents first…okay then, bye-bye!" his sister stated then hung up.

"Who was it?" Len asked dreading that it might be Kiyoteru.

"Gumi. She's holding a sleepover at her house but Luka is hosting. Luka's parents wouldn't let Gakupo stay over at her house alone with her so instead they're having a sleepover with the boys and girls in separate rooms at Gumi's beach house since she offered." Rin explained excitedly.

"Oh…so they can still be together without getting in trouble." Len stated slightly uninterested, then took a lick of his ice cream.

"Exactly! I told them you'll probably go with us. So…will you go?" she asked bringing her face within inches of his.

"O-okay! I'll go." He answered blushing a bright red.

"Yay!" Rin cheered, she then interlocked their arms as they walked back to their picnic spot, her head lay firmly on his shoulder.

That night Len would dream about his friends…a dream that would shatter the already fragile relationship he had with his girlfriend _and _with his twin sister. What would lie ahead at the beach house after such tormenting nightmares that would be _even worse_ than those terrifying dreams?

**A/N: I hope I didn't anger fans of a certain character too much. I base their personalities off by how they look to me and how they're portrayed by others on the internet. Oh and please review!**


	8. Chapter 8: Don't Look

**Chapter 8: Something That Should Never Have Been Seen**

It was Thursday night, the night before Len's three day weekend with his friends when an unsettling dream crept into his sleep.

His eyes closed and he entered his realm like he usually did, but instead of finding the faceless girl, the girl who was giving him progressively more horrifying nightmares, he found his real life friends…all of them in fact.

He found himself standing by the ocean, and turned his head when he felt their presence. All of his closest friends were standing by a cliff overlooking the sea. Each and every one of them smiled at him, grins that _appeared normal_ so Len said cheerfully to his companions, "Hey guys! What's up?"

They did not answer him, so Len decided to scan his surroundings a bit more, he found in the distance a large coastal house, and now knew this was a dream that had to do with his upcoming trip, so he played along with it acting like he would in real life to his imaginary friends.

They said nothing until Gakupo walked towards him, placed his arm around Len's shoulder then whispered into his ear, "Len…we've got a little present for you…why don't you step over there and see what it is?" The purple-haired boy then gestured his finger to two figures draped in white cloth positioned by the cliff's edge.

_What the hell is that?_ Len wondered taking a big gulp. He walked slowly towards the two clothed figures and cautiously placed his hands over both of them. With one quick motion he unveiled them both, and beneath them he found two girls…Neru on his left and Rin on his right sitting in white chairs. Both of them had nothing but their _underwear _on, Neru in black and Rin in white, _and_ it was _lingerie_ underwear.

He quickly turned around blushing to state crossly at Gakupo, "What is the meaning of this? Why are they _only_ in their underwear?"

Gakupo smirked at him and placed his hand on his shoulder once more and said, "This is _your_ dream Len, perhaps this is what you _want_ to see."

"I don't know what you're talking about…what do you intend to do with them like that anyways?" Len proclaimed angrily, crossing his arms.

"I told you didn't I? This is a gift for _you_, although you do have _one condition_ to fulfill before you can have her." Gakupo announced. He then stood behind Neru's chair, suddenly Kaito stepped away from the group to stand behind Rin's chair. Each of them held the girls' shoulders and declared simultaneously, "You have two choices, you can save them both, or you can save only one of them."

Len knew that wasn't the entire story so he asked, "What's my one condition?"

Kaito grinned at him and explained, "You can only save both of them, _if _you have sex with one of them while the other _watches_, otherwise, we'll push them off the cliff at the same time forcing you to save only one of them…"

"Are you fucking serious? I can't do that! I _refuse_ to do that!" Len shouted clenching his jaw. He wondered why even in his dreams did he have to defend himself and grew irate knowing that he was about to be tormented yet again.

The faceless girl abruptly appeared out of thin air to stand between Neru and Rin's chairs then said, "Why not? We are placing your objects of _longing_ before you, we are only doing what _you_ wish…"

"This is fucking deluded, I don't _have_ to do anything! This is only a _dream_! You aren't forcing me to choose between them! I'm not doing it!" he yelled furiously, spreading his footing to stand his ground, his fists balled up tightly readying for combat.

"You do not understand Len, we are preparing you for what you will have to encounter in the real world. Beyond your dreams you can only be with one person, you cannot have both, that is not how the world works. People are jealous creatures, you can only swear yourself to one individual at a time…" the featureless girl persisted.

"I am not a monster, I'm NOT going to _fuck_ one of them while the other _watches_…" he proclaimed sternly, his eyes burned into the obscured features of the faceless girl, he was beginning to hate her…

"Very well then, I guess there is no other choice but to show you the consequences of your refusal to accept your only options." The mysterious girl announced. She then placed her hands on the back of their chairs and tipped them backwards so that they began to fall while sitting in them.

His eyes widened and he leaped forward to grab at both their hands, his chin, knees, and elbows hit the earth scrapping against it as he slid across the ground in his attempt to save them. His skin burned where his flesh had been opened, but it didn't matter, he had caught them both, each of their hands was firmly in his grasp.

He tried to pull them up, he really did, but their combined weight was too heavy for him so he screamed, "H-HELP ME! P-PLEASE…! HELP ME PULL THEM UP!"

"I am sorry Len, but the world can only accept one outcome, the other is forbidden…" the faceless girl said.

He looked into the eyes of both Rin and Neru, each of them smiled sadly at him and whispered simultaneously, "Please don't let go of me, I love you…"

Len bit down hard trying to pull them up, the veins in his neck bulged outwards and his arms trembled with such ferocity that he was sure he was going to fall with them. But that isn't what happened…their collective weight _did_ take its toll however…eventually his right arm got torn off, the arm that was holding Rin…

He watched her fall in slow motion, his severed limb still in her grasp as she got closer and closer to the sea. Neru had been pulled up far enough upwards that she was able to get back onto the cliff, but Len didn't care, as soon as she was on solid ground he fell into the sea after his sister. He knew that he would die once he did, but it didn't matter, if it was with _her_ nothing else mattered…._nothing_….

The ocean felt like a solid wall when he slammed into it, thousands of pricks bit at his skin like a bunch of sharp needles blanketing his body. The sea toyed with him like a rag doll, burying him under its massive arms, heaving Len under its currents, even forcing him towards the surface only to bring him back into the pits of its stomach moments later. The pain on his flesh wasn't nearly as bad as the pain in his heart, if he didn't find her…..he knew the dream would plague him once he woke up, he had to find her, he just had to….

He thought he had died, he was no longer breathing, and yet he was still awake. A warm radiance of light in the cruel iciness of the ocean called to him, urging him to push onwards, to keep searching for her. Amongst the never ending blackness of the ocean the glowing light meant life, it was a haven of the sun, and he swam desperately towards it. The ominous glow was covered by ocean rubbish, so he brushed past some seaweed and debris, to find at last….his most special someone, the one person he will only ever _truly_ love….Rin, his twin sister. Behind all that ocean litter he found her, smiling at him and emitting the brilliance he'd seen in the hollowness of this deep-sea void. She outstretched her arms to him, and he floated gradually into her embrace….the abyss began to slowly consume them, and finally Len woke up.

The entire ride to Gumi's beach house was a silent, peaceful ride, their father driving them as their mother gazed out the window in the front seat. It was the day before Saturday, the first day of their three day long weekend. They were given an address and a time to arrive: 11:00 am.

Len had texted Neru that they would cancel their park date and instead spend that time at the seashore. Rin had also received a text…from Kiyoteru explaining that this would be quote: "A weekend we'll never forget…".

His ambiguity frightened her, and she thought, _I wonder what he means?_ _I hope it's a good thing…_

It wasn't exactly what she had in mind…

**Friday, Day 1…**

"Yayyyy! Rin and Len are finally here! Now only Miku and Mikuo are the only ones who haven't arrived yet!" Gumi cheered running to the twins and giving them a immense bear-hug. She then clarified that there were six guest rooms and that a hallway separated the girl's side from the boy's side.

The rooms were to be arranged as such: Gumi and Rin, Miku and Luka, Meiko and Neru, were to be across from the rooms were Mikuo and Len, Kaito and Gakupo, and lastly Kiyoteru and Gumo resided. Luka and Gumi had set up the rooms in a way where everyone became paired with someone they have the least conflict with.

Rin began to unpack her small suitcase to place her things on her side of the room when she stated happily, "I'm so excited to finally spend some time with everyone! We haven't hung-out since the Blue Moon Festival, and now summer break is almost over. I can't believe it's already our senior year…"

"Don't be sad Rin, we should enjoy the time we have together before we go to college. Now buck up! To the class of 2007!" Gumi declared holding a glass of punch in front of Rin. They afterwards clanked their drinks together, a water bottle with a wine cup and began to laugh when they were interrupted by Kiyoteru and Gumo knocking on their door.

"Hello ladies, I hope I wasn't intruding on the tiny party you two were having…" Kiyoteru proclaimed coolly brushing back his black hair.

"Ooh Rin ~! Your boyfriend is _so suave_, you never told me what a gentleman he was!" Gumi teased elbowing Rin playfully in the chest.

"He's just being silly Gumi. Um, no offense but why are you guys in here? Aren't you not allowed on our side of the building?" Rin asked shyly, placing both her arms behind her back.

"Our parents said it was okay during daylight hours, once it gets dark we can't go over here. Kiyoteru was just wondering what the girl's rooms looked like so he asked me if he could see them, so I let him, you know since it _is_ kind of _our _beach house…right Gumi?" Gumo said somewhat timidly.

"Wrong! It's Grandpa's beach house and he's giving it to _our Dad_, so we don't technically own it. But…_I guess_ that's okay, as long as no one breaks the rules once it gets dark." His olive hair sister declared firmly.

"It's not like it will matter anyways, Dad told me he and two of the house keepers would keep watch at night. He said quote: 'No kids are going to be screwing under _my_ roof if I'm around'. So I thought it wouldn't hurt if he got to see the house now while he still could." Gumo persisted anxiously.

"Alright alright, but no more secret visits. I would be _so disguste_d to find out someone was doing something gross in a house where _I_ live, it's so disrespectful…" Gumi proclaimed grimacing.

"Don't worry Gumi, Rin and I aren't that type of couple. We like to take things slow, you won't have to worry about us. In regards to Gakupo and Luka however…I'm not so sure." Kiyoteru suggested lightheartedly placing his arm over Rin's shoulder.

"I told Luka that I was only doing this so she could _hang out_ with him without her parents freaking out. That's ALL, if they do anything else I'll be _so pissed_." Gumi said snappily, the mere thought of them 'doing it' was enough to make her angry.

Out of the blue Meiko popped her head through their doorway and announced, "Are you four going to stay inside the whole flippin' day? Everyone is already playing on the beach outside! Common you losers!-Soak up some sun!"

The boys left so that Rin and Gumi could change into their swimsuits. Rin was wearing a solid white bikini with ribbons on her hips and in between her breasts. Gumi wore an orange polka dot bikini and they were ready to go.

**Meanwhile With Len And The Rest…**

"Man that was tiring, volleyball in 90 degree weather sure takes the energy outa' yah doesn't it Len?" Mikuo stated wearily wiping the sweat off his forehead. His teal hair started to get clumpy.

"Hell yeah it does, I feel like an empty bottle of water, I'm so drained…." Len declared. The boys decided to sit under the parasols to recharge when they unexpectedly heard the girls squealing and looked in their direction to see what all the fuss was about.

To Len's astonishment was his almost completely naked sister wearing a _very seductive_ bikini, he immediately turned to his male companions to observe their reactions, complete awe of course.

"Man….I wish I had a sister _as hot_ as one of them! Look at _those legs_….they look _so damn soft_…." Gakupo muttered perversely then licked his lips.

"Nasty dude! They're are little sisters, they're about as sexy as a dead rodent on the road…right Len?" Gumo stated as he lay on his beach blanket.

But Len didn't reply, he was too busy trying to figure a way to get Rin out of those provocative clothes and into more modest attire so that his friends wouldn't be using her as masturbation material later that night.

"Uh Len….earth to Len! Our sisters are gross…._ right_?" Gumo declared waving a hand in front of Len's gaze.

"Oh…uh…..yeah, they're unattractive…." Len replied halfheartedly.

"Who do you all think is the hottest one out of the girls right now?" Kaito asked abruptly.

"Definitely Meiko, her tits are _fucking awesome_." Gakupo said resolutely.

"I totally agree with you." Mikuo announced joining into the conversation.

"Here-here! To amazing tits!" Kaito declared holding up his glass soda-pop.

The boys began laughing and clanked their bottles together. The only one missing from their group was Kiyoteru…

"Hey, Kiyoteru isn't here…wonder where he is?" Gumo proclaimed looking at were the girls were standing.

Len knew he was going to pull something bold so he watched his sister waiting for him to appear, and suddenly there he was, in solid black swim trunks sporting a six pack.

"Holy shit you guys! I didn't know Kiyoteru was _that_ ripped! I thought he was just skin and bones!" Mikuo announced loudly as he watched the girls fawn over him.

"What a surprise, that book-worm was hiding his trump card all along beneath his uniform. What a clever dog he is…" Gakupo stated taking a large gulp of his soda-pop.

Len instantaneously looked down at his own chest and abs, he had a good amount, the basic v-line leading towards his crotch, a deep indentation from the end of his pecks traveling down his navel, and the muscular arms of a runner. Although his muscles weren't as defined as Kiyoteru's was because he hit puberty later than everyone else, Len still felt he had the advantage. He was lightly tanned and his face was _obviously_ better looking.

Kiyoteru was pale and a lot plainer than he was, so he brushed off his hasty insecurity and announced to his friends, "He _may_ be fit, but it isn't going to help that _plain face_ of his."

"_Someone_ is in a bad mood…if I didn't know any better, I sense a little bit of insecurity from our 'blond prince' here!" Mikuo teased shoving Len playfully on the shoulder.

"I am NOT jealous Mikuo." Len stated coldly, appearing not to like his suggestion.

"Who said anything about jealousy?" Gumo said mockingly high-fiving Mikuo.

The guys began to snicker amid themselves until Kaito announced, "Enough already guys! The girls are coming over here, be ready to impress!"

The boys immediately changed their positions so that they were now all flexing and playing the casual 'cool guy'.

"Hi girls…would any of you like to share the shade with me?" Mikuo asked lowering his voice a few notches while patting the ground in a 'come and sit here' motion.

_"Ugh_! Shut-up Mikuo! You're only making a further ass of yourself! We're only over here to ask if any of you want to go swimming with us." Miku said hands on both her hips as she glared at her brother.

The guys agreed to join, and they all headed for the ocean. Before the water could even touch his toes Len moved back a few steps once he remembered his nightmare. The worst part was that it was partly _coming true_. Rin was wearing a white bathing suit while Neru wore a black one. If he went into the ocean he feared that he would be fulfilling some type of prophecy….

"Are you afraid that the water is too cold Len?" Neru asked bashfully, placing a lock of her dark blonde hair behind her ear.

"W-what? Oh no, that's not it, I'm not worried. I was just zoning out for some reason…" Len answered flashing her his pearly whites trying to hide his anxiety.

"Could it be….you were _distracted_ by my awesome swim-wear?" she proclaimed lifting her arms above her head and twirling about.

"That's exactly it, you have _no idea_…" he said humorously with a hint of seriousness.

_She has no clue as to what kind of crazy-ass dreams I've been having lately…if she knew, she would probably think I was mentally insane or something…_Len thought as he watched Neru pose for him.

She then shot him a mischievous smirk before she grabbed his wrist and threw him into the ocean water. Len began to laugh elatedly, the cold water surprising him, breaking him from his daze, making him _forget_ about that dream. All was good in the world, he had a hot girlfriend pressing her body against his while they played Marco-Polo, Sharks and Minnows, and lastly Chicken Fight. Everything was all right, wonderful even, well it _would have been_, if it weren't for a little green monster called _jealousy_.

Even though Neru was giving him all the stimulation he could ever want, he couldn't help but watch Rin with Kiyoteru. 'Kiyoteru save me!', 'Kiyoteru's the shark!', 'Kiyoteru don't drop me from your shoulders you doofus!'.

Every time she spoke his name, the tightness in his throat grew. He truly wanted to enjoy this trip, but he felt his heart was betraying his mind, it just wouldn't allow him to….

Day one was nearing an end, the couples holding hands as they headed back to the beach house and the singles talking about life among each other.

Neru took hold of Len's arm and leaned her head onto his shoulder as they walked back. He could feel her long side ponytail brushing against his skin prompting him into remembering touching Rin's hair the first time he kissed her a few days ago, an act he was lamenting more and more with each passing day.

"Len, is there something on your mind? I feel like you're worried somehow…" Neru whispered, her cheek rubbing against his arm as she leaned on him.

"I was just reminiscing about stuff…" he replied looking down at her and smiling a little.

"I see….Rin and Kiyoteru seem to be hitting it off pretty well…" Neru stated unknowingly (she was just trying to start a conversation, she didn't know that _they _were why he was worrying).

Neru felt Len's arm unexpectedly tense then relax. She then gripped it tighter and said quietly, "If you're worried about your little sister, you shouldn't be…he isn't a bad guy. Kiyoteru is just a bit arrogant and insensitive at times, but deep down he's alright."

Len was silent for a moment but then asked, "How do you know that? How are you so sure?"

She gazed up at Len and saw a face he's never shown her before, a face she couldn't recognize, she became troubled by the unanticipated fury in his eyes making her answer fearfully, "I went to the same elementary as him, we've known each other for a long time. I guess you can say….we're kind of old friends…"

He could hear the fright in her voice and immediately regretted showing her his real self, his jealous self, a persona he only wore for the person he loved…

"I…..believe you. I won't question them anymore, or you…I'm sorry for being so uptight about it." Len stated trying to sound as gentle as possible.

She gave him a soft grin and they continued their stroll back to the summer home, their friends light chatter shattering the still air between them.

"Alright kids! Lights out!" Gumi and Gumo's father declared as he stood in the hallway separating the girls from the boys. The teenagers smirked and laughed at each other as they looked at one another from their own rooms, peeping through the tiny crevices in their doorways.

Len wouldn't be able to recall the dreams he had this particular night, but it wouldn't matter anyway, what would _really matter_ was a sight he would see when he was awake, cognitive and _trembling_…

**Saturday, Day 2…**

*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*

Len stirred to get out of bed and open the door. He rubbed his eyes hard then slumped off his mattress onto the ground muttering tiredly, "Whaaat? Whaaaat is ittttt?"

"Ughhhh, lower your voice Len, it's too early in the morning to be talking…." Mikuo garbled burying his face into his pillow.

Len did a few stretches, and took a moment to get rid of his morning wood before he felt ready enough to open the door.

*Creeeaaaak*

"Okay….what do you want?" Len stated ruffling his flaxen hair that wasn't in its normal ponytail. His mane barely reached above his shoulders, creating a haircut identical to his sisters, excluding the outward curves that she had at the ends of her locks.

"Pretty boys are always pretty, aren't they?" Meiko proclaimed looking Len up and down.

"Even in the morning Len is good looking, Rin you must be so proud!" Gumi said humorously smiling at Rin.

"D-don't be ridiculous! Uh….Len….we came over here to wake you and Mikuo up because its already 11 am. Gumi's dad is going to bring us to the town pier." Rin explained then smiled softly at him.

She was wearing a sky blue sundress and was sporting two pigtails each with a matching bow. Rin's lips wore a peachy/crimson chap-stick and a natural blush adorned her cheeks, the thickness of her lashes blinked at him lightly and he thought, _You are so beautiful Rin, just ever so….beautiful…._And he became lost in her eyes, those big azure eyes of hers…

"Gooooood Morning girls! Come to wake me up with some morning kisses?" Mikuo announced, shoving Len to the side in turn breaking him from his trance.

"Ewe. Mikuo, first of all…I'm _taller_ than you, _older_ than you, and way more _mature_ than you, so please…give it up." Meiko declared as she gave him the evil eye.

The boys followed the girls into the kitchen where everyone had already basically finished eating breakfast and were greeted by their friends who all shouted at once, "Good morning sleeping uglies!"

Their companions snickered at them but Mikuo and Len just brushed it off and ate together while everyone else prepped to leave for the pier.

**In Meiko And Neru's Room…**

"You must be really stoked to have a boyfriend that _cute_ Neru. When the three of us came to his room to wake him up he looked like a doll. He's personally not _my type_ though, but I will admit, Len is quite handsome." Meiko stated as she put some sun-block in her purse.

"Yeah…..he really is…_attractive_, so much so that I worry sometimes that someone might _steal him away_ from me…" Neru said almost in a whisper, then zipped up her bag.

"You won't have to worry about that honey. Len is of the strong and silent variety, those kinds of guys usually don't cheat, believe me…_I know_." Meiko explained heading for the door.

"You're probably right, Len isn't like that. Well, I'm ready! Let's go!" Neru announced enthusiastically.

The ride to the pier took two large vans, Rin enjoyed watching her friends make faces at them from the back seat of their car while the car she was in rode behind them. Prior to even stepping out Kiyoteru had leapt out of the other van (who had already arrived) to slide open her car door to which the girls in her car said, "_Ooh_ what a gentleman" or "How _classy_ of him!". He placed out his hand and bowed down slightly gesturing for her to take his palm and as she did the boys who had already gotten out watched in amazement by how bold he was. Len was one of those boys…

He watched as Rin coyly placed her tiny hand into his and appeared to be hiding her blushing by using her other hand to cover her cheek. Len's fists clenched involuntarily and he instantly started to look for Neru who he found just stepping out of the van.

He took her hand forcefully and told her, "Common slow-poke! I'll race you to the pier!". He was trying to make his envy go away by focusing on another girl, but deep down he was also trying to make Rin jealous.

They arrived at the pier first, gasping and breathing heavily for air, the two smirked at each other while they took a moment to regain composure, they could see their friends getting closer to them in the distance and Len contemplated, _If we can see them…..then they can see us, can't they?_

Rin was strolling hand in hand with Kiyoteru when she saw amid all the strangers surrounding them a couple kissing. Not just _any_ couple, but Neru and Len displaying their affection for one another for all eyes to see for the first time in front of their friends.

"Well well well! It looks like Len has a lot more guts than I thought!" Gakupo proclaimed than began to whistle at the two standing at the pier's edge.

Their mouths departed and the two smiled at their friends, arms around each other's waists. Rin could not hide her astonishment: her eyes grew wide open, her pupils dilated, her heart rate increased, and lastly her palms became sweaty.

Kiyoteru felt her hands become clammy all of a sudden so he said, giving her a tender grin, "Is it too hot out here for you? We can go inside for a drink if you want Rin…"

"Y-yeah, let's do that. Then we can buy some of those tiny fishes and feed them to the seals." Rin stated showing him the brightest smile she could force onto her lips.

The rest of the group began to fish, Gakupo and Kaito sharing a bucket full of bait while their girlfriends sat beside them helping to reel in whatever they caught. Gumo, Meiko, Gumi, and Mikuo went to the beach shoreline to collect sand and seashells in empty jars they had brought with them. Len and Neru watched their 'single' friends as they collected them, not knowing that this would be the last trip they would have with each other before school started.

"Do you think we should join them? You know…to help them out with collecting shells and stuff?" Neru suggested as they sat in the sand.

"Sure, why not? Looks like fun!" Len said then grabbed Neru and sprinted with her towards their friends.

"Come to join us in our little adventure guys? You can help by looking for blue and white seashells. We have too many brown and black ones already." Gumi announced handing them two empty glass jars.

Neru and Len began sifting through the sand and found all types of critters looming below. A little crab carrying a shell on its' back, small fish-like creatures living underground, and through such probing they were able to find six white shells and four blue shells. Neru wasn't satisfied however, she wanted one for everyone and began to violently dig out the sand. The sand hit Len in the face who was digging behind her and eventually a sand fight erupted.

"You little bitch! You got sand in my hair, you're not getting away with this!" Gumi shouted gleefully throwing a wet clump of sand at Neru.

Mikuo and Gumo hurled some sand at Len's face, Meiko tossed some at Mikuo and Gumo back but was hit in the butt by Neru who go hit in the chest by Gumi. It was an all-out brawl, there was so much sand on them now that they all looked like they just rolled into a pit full of muddy earth.

They stopped when Gumi unexpectedly yelled, "Enough everyone! I know this was really fun and all but we _really_ should clean ourselves off before we get back into the vans because our dad is going to be upset."

"She's right, I don't want to make more of a mess for the house keepers, they already had to wash all the dishes we made this morning." Mikuo stated running his hands through his hair attempting to de-sand it.

The group headed for the public showers, each with its own door for privacy.

**Meanwhile With Rin And Kiyoteru…**

"Awe, we've run out of those tiny fish!" Rin whined pouting a bit as she stared at the seals below the pier.

"Do want more? If you do we can buy another batch of 20, it's only ten bucks after all, you _are_ worth each dollar…..and _then some_." Kiyoteru said provocatively placing his arm around Rin's waist.

She tensed somewhat then stated, "N-no thank you! I think we've spent enough for today. I feel bad for asking from you so much, how about I treat you to some cotton candy Kiyoteru?".

Rin then pointed to a stall with a young woman handing out the fuzzy treats, Kiyoteru grinned at her then proclaimed, "How about we share one? That way there's a chance our lips will finally meet…"

She couldn't help but return his smile, he really_ was smooth_, but for some reason, he didn't feel quite right, almost like he wasn't the right puzzle piece making Rin wonder, _He's so very kind to me…but for some reason, he doesn't feel 'right'. I don't know what's wrong with me…..he's a gentleman, polite, courteous and yet I don't feel the urge to BE with him. This is normal right? I mean we've only been dating for a little more than a month, so love will develop eventually…won't it?_

Kiyoteru handed her the cotton candy she had paid for shattering her from her reverie, afterwards they began to eat it together; Rin taking off small pieces with her fingers while they strolled along the shoreline watching the sun set. They found a bench near the pier and waited for the sun to hit the edge of where the ocean met the sky, the colors became all muddled together creating a bizarre painting against the heavens. Rin watched Kiyoteru as he gazed at the sun going down, she observed the blackness of his stern eyes, the paleness of his skin, the luster of his ebony hair, everything about him was so serious making her question, _Everything about you is so…..somber. What would make a guy like you….want someone like me? I'm the exact opposite of you, what makes you want me so much?_

"Kiyoteru can I ask you a serious question?" Rin stated almost whispering, the cotton candy mostly untouched on her side.

"Mm, what is it?" Kiyoteru replied as he chewed some of their fluffy treat.

"Please don't get offended or anything, but I was just wondering…..why you like me….I mean we're _so_ _different_. What do you see in me that makes you want to be with _me_ and not some other girl?" she whispered refusing to meet his gaze.

He turned his head to stare at her, to examine her soft features, the suppleness of her feminine mouth, the deepness of her sapphire gaze, the youthful peach of her skin that seemed to match perfectly with her blonde hair.

Kiyoteru hid the annoyance attempting to make its way onto his face and thought, _I want you…because I know others want you MORE than I do. Because of that, I HAVE to have you. Ever since I was little, I've always wanted things I couldn't have…and because of that I pursue you. I'm an only child who was never able to have any siblings, the only thing I ever wanted. So I'm taking you, a sibling away from my biggest competition…your brother because he has EVERYTHING he's ever wanted: two loving parents, all the girls clamoring for him, everyone on the track team wanting to be his friend, getting good grades without trying…He has everything he could ever want, except for maybe you…which is why I HAVE to have you. In this way I'm winning without trying, just like he does every day of his perfect fucking life…_

Kiyoteru grinned at her gently then said, with a hint of melancholy in his voice, "Isn't it obvious? You're classy, gentle, kind, and gorgeous, you're _everything_ a guy could want, I only realized it at the festival. Sometimes it takes a little push to get a stupid man to realize his feelings, _you_ in that _kimono _was my push."

"I see….I'm sorry for questioning your feelings, it's just…I had to know." Rin said shyly.

"Alright….now It's _my_ turn to ask a serious question, promise me you won't say no." Kiyoteru declared bravely.

Rin turned her gaze to look at him and was met with a stare so unyielding it made a shiver up her spine, and after a moment she murmured, "I….I promise…I won't say no…."

"May I kiss you on the lips?" he whispered, taking her cheek in his palm .

"Yes…."

**Meanwhile With Len, Neru and The Rest…**

"I'm going to have to take another shower once we get back to the house." Neru stated placing a towel around her head then continued, "I should've brought shampoo with me."

"Don't worry about it, you still look good even after a sand fight." Len proclaimed, removing the towel she was using to hold up her hair to place it snugly around her shoulders, bundling her in it.

"Stop being so concerned about your hair drying, make sure you don't get sick, plus I kinda' want to see you with your hair down, it looks really sexy…" Len admitted rubbing the back of his neck.

"Get a room you two!" Meiko teased snapping her towel at the couple than leading the way ahead of them.

The six friends began their way back to the pier, the sun having almost completely disappeared from the afternoon sky. Meiko, Gumi, Mikuo, and Gumo all decided to run to the docks making it a race. Len and Neru decided to loiter a bit, wanting to prolong the fantastic evening they were having.

They walked leisurely to the beach parking lot, wordlessly clinging to each other until the silence was broken by Neru saying, "Oh! I just forgot, I was supposed to buy something at the gift shop we saw earlier! It will just take me a sec, you don't have to go if you don't want to, since the parking lot is right there and all…"

"Okay, that's fine. I'll wait for you right here, I'll find a bench or something to sit on till you get back Neru." Len stated then waved to her as she departed for the stores nearby the docks.

He was looking for a bench, any bench really, but there didn't seem to be any at all near the parking lot, just trashcans so he decided to go a little farther down the shoreline, just enough so he didn't have to sit on the ground. He finally found one close enough to the parking area and slumped himself onto it and started to watch the scenery: a few seagulls picking at the garbage on the ground, a family taking a walk, a couple playing catch with their dog, two teenagers making out on a bench nearby…

The teenagers caught his eye, they were pretty far but he could still tell that they were young, a boy with black hair and a girl with short blonde locks. He gazed at them, remembering the couple he saw at the park a week or so ago. Their faces were obscured since they were kissing, but he watched them anyways waiting to see what their faces looked like when they withdrew for air. To Len's absolute horror the teenagers happened to be Rin and Kiyoteru….

The tightness in his throat erupted, a small sound of disgust escaped his airways and he had to forcefully silence his obvious revulsion by covering his mouth with both hands. He wanted so desperately to stand up and walk to them to beat the living hell out of Kiyoteru but he swiftly remembered the faceless girl's words: _'you cannot have both'_. He turned his head so that they would no longer be in his view but the ache in his chest was now worse than ever, who knew that jealousy could make someone feel as though they were dying a slow and agonizing death? His heart hurt so much currently that he would do _anything_ to stop thinking about her, rather, about _them_…

Len dug his nails into the skin of his right lower arm, hoping that it would draw blood, craving for a _different_ type of pain, a _physical_ pain strong enough to make him ignore his mental heart break. His left hand shuddered wildly as he dug his fingertips into his own flesh, there were grooves at first, then indentations, and finally blood appeared. Even though the crimson ink had already begun to seep out…he continued to keep digging into himself, his bottom lip trembled uncontrollably as the stinging grew more potent…and then he let go. He looked at his accomplishment: five tiny slices on his arms made from his nails and he exhaled a sigh of both relief and pure exhaustion.

Neru returned just as he was regaining a normal person's composure and stated, "I got you something since you bought me so many things at the Blue Moon Festival. I thought we could have matching bracelets with our initials on them!"

She then reached for his arm and paused, her eyes widened and was met with an apathetic stare from Len who proclaimed, "There was this spider on my arm and I tried to get it, but it just kept running all over the place. I guess I kind of hurt myself in the process…"

"Oh my god, you're bleeding! Was this really a spider? _Jeez_, you should be more careful next time…" Neru said as she examined his right arm, turning it a bit to get a better look.

"I know…and I'm sorry. I'll still wear that bracelet you got for me, don't worry." He stated, hiding his previous shaky disposition.

"I'm not concerned about that right now, I'm worried about getting you patched up! When we get back to the house I'll put some antiseptic on you…" Neru explained anxiously.

He gazed at Neru's honest golden pupils and thought, _Rin always carries bandages and antiseptic with her, that is one of her habits that makes me love her so much…maybe you'll have idiosyncrasies I'll learn to love, maybe…_

Len threw her a soft grin and put his arm around her waist as they walked back to the vans. Day two was over, a new type of emotion having grown in both Len and Rin's heart. What would lie ahead for the twins the third day of their trip that would finally sow the seeds of _sexual_ yearning?

**A/N: ****If you haven't noticed already, the story is set in 2006 and they are seniors of the class of 2007, and right now it's their summer break. The story will end in the future (past 2012), which is why I'm writing the story in the past at the moment.**

**That's it for now and please review if you like reading this story!******** :]**


	9. Chapter 9: Dirtied Minds

**Chapter 9: Dirtied Minds**

Day 3 had begun, Gumi and Gumo's father preparing a small fireworks show for the end of the day: a few sparklers, some small explosives, nothing too drastic.

The olive-haired kids' father announced commandingly to everyone as they sat in the living room that very Sunday morning, "Okay kids! -Today is a free day! You can choose whatever you want to do for today, just make sure you come back at 7 pm sharp because we're going to do some small fireworks and light up the camp fire area outside."

The friends chattered amid each other, debating about what they would do for the last day of their trip. The high-schoolers decided it would be too hassle-some to have one giant group of teenagers in one place at one time so they split up into 2 groups: Gakupo, Luka, Rin, Kiyoteru, Kaito, and Miku would go hiking to the beach cliff for the view and take some pictures while Meiko, Gumi, Neru, Mikuo, Gumo, and Len spent time around town.

**The Cliff Group Was Experiencing...**

"I can't take this anymoreeeee! I hate hiking you guys! Miku complained huffing loudly. She then persisted to make groaning sounds until Kiyoteru shot her a deathly glare.

Luka who was leading their troop along with Gakupo said cheerfully, "We're almost there Miku, so please, shut your trap."

The friends all chuckled, even Rin who decided to consequently help her friend the rest of the way up. The view was breathtaking. The ocean appeared to go on forever like it would never hit another body of land, and the water was so clear you could see coral reefs near the surface. The girls and boys all beamed at each other and a mutual understanding circled around them: this would be one of the happiest memories made of their lives.

It was past noon yet the sun seemed to be shining brighter than ever, an ominous sparkling glow of the sun's reflection on the water caught Rin's eyes and she felt as though if she happened to fall into the ocean, that she would not die, someone would catch her…

Rin nervously bit her lip as she wondered, _What's this strange feeling…? I feel as though the water is calling to me, but I don't know who's voice it is…_

"Beautiful isn't it?" Kiyoteru stated out of the blue, taking her palm in his.

She broke from her daydream to find her boyfriend grinning at her gently, she wanted to return his smile, but she felt as though the voice calling her would not allow her too, so instead she proclaimed, "Let's collect flowers, you know as a souvenir! I want to put some in my memory box back at home."

"Okay, I'll collect white flowers since I feel like they match you best." Kiyoteru declared, beginning to pluck tiny rose-like plants off the grass.

**Meanwhile With The Group In The Town...**

"Uaahhhhh! I can't believe they have strawberry-honey!" Neru awed, her face completely and utterly dumbfounded. She then pouted at Len, giving him the puppy-dog face so that he would buy it for her. He couldn't decline her so he gave in.

They were inside a sweets store that specialized in honeys, strawberry jam, and other exotic jams/candies. It was an old store with a 1950's feel to it: there were red checkered displays, empty glass jars and bottles hung all around the ceiling, and their employees wore blue and white pinstriped uniforms with tiny aprons.

Len surveyed their items for sale while he waited for his friends to buy things. He ran his fingers over the counters that held giant swirly lollipops, chocolate peppermints, vanilla bars, basically old-school sugar treats. He was savoring all the colorful eye candy when his eyes met a particular glass jar. On it was golden cursive letters that said: _Orange Citrus Jam_, making Len at once think of Rin and her love of the color orange and its fruit. He turned around to see if Neru and his friends were still preoccupied with looking at all the store goodies, they were so he quickly took the jar and went to the counter and paid for it…on _impulse_, even though he really didn't like oranges all that much.

"Oh Len! You got something? What is it?" Gumi asked bending over and peering at his plastic bag.

"Uh, it's some jam, for…my mom...since I know she likes sweet stuff…" Len replied, without returning her stare.

"Oh hey Kagamine, you got some jam? What flavor dude?" Mikuo stated trying to look into the plastic bag.

_Fuck, if they know I got orange flavored jam they'll realize I bought it for Rin, not for my mom._ Len thought restlessly.

"Err, honey flavored jam. Did you guys get anything?" he proclaimed changing the subject while forcing himself to be casual about his purchase.

Mikuo shook his head and said, "Nah, I'm more in the mood for salty things right now, like potato chips or something."

Gumi grinned at him and proclaimed, "Me too! How about we go to a convenience store and buy snacks for the fireworks later everyone?"

The friends agreed and started to roam around town to look for a convenience store.

**Meanwhile With Rin & The Rest…**

The hiking group had already taken pictures, lingered to take in the view, eaten a picnic styled lunch, plucked some flowers as souvenirs, and were now heading back down the mountain to the beach houses.

All the dating couples held hands as they made their way down the steep terrain, and finally they reached some flat ground.

Kiyoteru who was waiting for more leveled land suddenly said, "Hand me some of those flowers you plucked Rin."

She did as she was asked and watched him from the corner of her vision, careful not to disturb his very obvious concentration. When he stopped fumbling with his fingers he told her to wait behind so that their friends could pass them and be ahead.

Rin didn't know what he was going to do, so she inquired timidly, "Um…..Kiyoteru, if we don't start walking again we'll get left behind and-"

"Hush, that's the _point_. I want us to be alone together, don't you?" Kiyoteru boldly stated, throwing her a serious expression.

"Y-yes, of course! It's just that it's getting kind of dark and Gumi and Gumo's dad asked us to be back by seven…" Rin explained apprehensively, biting the tip of her thumb just like her twin brother does.

"I know, but I can't do this in front of the others without getting ridiculed, now please Rin close your eyes." He said, almost whispering.

"Okay…" Rin stated softly, then let her lids drop.

She was expecting another tender kiss, so her heart began to pulsate rapidly, awaiting the touch of his mouth upon hers, but instead she felt him put something on top of her head, and then he whispered, "It's alright now, open your eyes."

Rin fluttered her gaze open and found Kiyoteru smirking at her, she tilted her head sideways not understanding why he was grinning, so he then pointed to her head and proclaimed, "Take a look at my work of art."

She uplifted her arms to pat the sides of her head. There were soft silky things and hard things at the same time. Rin shuffled through her backpack to look for a mirror, and once she found it she looked at what he had put on her. It was a _hair wreath_, a very beautiful one too, with tiny white flowers encircling her like a halo and a thin reddish branch supporting the base. Rin gasped and put her hand to her mouth attempting to hide her surprise, she couldn't believe something so girly and feminine could be made from _Kiyoteru_, the most stoic, no-frills guy she knows.

She beamed at him widely, her cheeks being pushed aside by her smile and stated, "Thank you! It's _so pretty_! How did you learn to make this Kiyoteru?"

"Well…when you're an only child in a big house all alone, you have a lot of free time. I've learned to make all kinds of things out of pure boredom, like origami, paintings, sculptures, wooden furniture, anything basically that has to be handmade." Kiyoteru answered looking at the ground.

A sudden deluge of sympathy surged through Rin and she thought saddened by his confession, _How depressing…it must've been so lonely for you when you were young, I would never wish abandonment on a child, I'm so sorry that you had to experience that._

"Oh…I see, I'm sorry to hear that. At least now you're very handy when it comes to the arts! And also, you have a lot of friends, so now it's not so lonely….." Rin stated shyly, placing a lock of her flaxen hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, because now I have you…it's not much fun making things if there isn't someone important to share it with…." he said in a low hushed voice.

Kiyoteru was the best smooth talker you could imagine, he had Rin caught in his web of deception. She would never be able to escape him now, she was a trapped butterfly about to be consumed by a giant tarantula…

Rin could not speak, she became mute as Kiyoteru placed his hand on her waist and drew her in, closing the gap between their bodies. His face was merely a few centimeters away, close enough for her to smell his minty breath. He had _prepared_ for this moment and she wasn't going to reject him. He was slow at first, lovingly placing a closed mouth on hers, enjoying the savoring feel of her lips, but he abruptly became rough. Unbeknownst to Rin, Kiyoteru opened his eyes to watch her as they kissed, to _feed _off of her expression, and so he took it a step further, he slipped her some tongue. She jolted and a small cry escaped her airways, but he did not stop, she grew terrified, all of this was going too fast, she was just getting used to kissing and now _this_?

"Nnnnngh!" she whimpered placing her hands on his torso as a barrier between their chests.

He withdrew from her violently, his hands on both her shoulders and asked, "Why so frightened? Was it too much?"

His comment may have _seemed_ like a concerned boyfriend but inside he was laughing, _snickering_ even at the fact that he would tarnish the only thing Len truly cared about but did not have. There was no other way to win for Kiyoteru, he had already tried studying extra, exercising almost excessively to beat him in track, and played the good guy to become liked, and yet he still wasn't able to surpass him, until he realized that he could with_ her. _There was also the fact that his parents were perfect: they never fought, were home quite often, didn't do drugs or alcohol, and were generally very nice people, the exact _opposite_ of Kiyoteru's parents. He had the life Kiyoteru had always wanted, he even got the girl he had a crush on back in their sophomore year.

Rin was his trump card, she was cuter than the girl he once liked, sweeter, funnier, and well to put it short…basically _perfect_. Kiyoteru would gradually squeeze himself into Len's more private life, watch his tormented face as he touched her, his utter revulsion when he kissed his twin, and yet what he was doing to her would be considered completely normal. Rin was his girlfriend, a girl who _wasn't_ related to him, and as a dating couple they would touch, something he knew just by watching Len would cause a crucial psychological pain for him, it was the _ultimate revenge_. Kiyoteru wouldn't have ever even considered dating Rin unless he was sure Len was secretly in love with her, but their peculiar behavior at the festival was plenty enough to hint at the feelings of his distant friend, otherwise he would've started dating Neru, Len's other object of affections, though to a lesser degree.

"I…I'm not scared! I was just shocked that's all, it's going a little too fast for me, I mean…I've never had a boyfriend before so I don't know how to react. I just want to take things slow." She whispered turning away from him, hiding the flush on her face.

"I'm sorry for putting too much pressure on you. From now on I'll ask permission before I kiss you Rin, is that okay?" Kiyoteru inquired appearing troubled but was thinking, _If we go any slower I won't be able to fuck you before graduation…_

"Y-yes, I'm okay with that. Thanks for being so understanding, some guys would be angry about having to take things so slow. You're not like other boys Kiyoteru, you're different, I like that about you." Rin muttered demurely.

"You're right….._I am_ different, more different than you'll ever know…" Kiyoteru mumbled beneath his breath.

They began to walk back to the house, their heads leaning against each other…

**Finally Back At The Beach House As The Sun Is Setting...**

Len headed to his room as soon as they got back to hide the orange jam he bought for Rin.

As he was fretfully wrapping the glass jar in white paper he wondered, _Why do I keep thinking about her? I have a girlfriend, I have a girlfriend, I have a girlfriend. This…this is just a gift in return for that candle she got me, right Len? Yeah that's it, so I don't owe her anything._

"Yo Len! They've started the bon fire outside, come with! Before the girls take all the snacks!" Mikuo proclaimed tossing Len an annoyed look.

He finished hiding her jar and followed Mikuo to the backyard where he was met by a bonfire and all his friends roasting beef jerky and other salty snacks around the flame along with other treats.

He sat down next to Neru who grinned at him widely and scooted over gesturing for him to sit next to her. She handed him some marshmallows that were on a metal skewer and they began to roast them.

The high-schoolers all talked in separate conversations until Gakupo shouted, "Hey guys! Want to hear a scary story?"

The teenagers all clapped and cheered motioning for him to do so and he began, "This story is called 'The Shadows In The Corner Of My Room'…"

Rin huddled closer to Kiyoteru, her face half-buried in his side, all the girls who had boyfriends did this, they huddled onto their significant other for dear life, all except Luka who was smirking as she watched her lover spin a tall tale.

"A little boy named Danny could never go to sleep, but he had good reasons for this..." Gakupo murmured jokingly. He then went on to explain something so terrifying haunting that the entire group became jumpy.

Gakupo persisted to finish his tall tale announcing, "So that's my story! The end!"

Rin immediately buried her face into Kiyoteru's chest, Neru hugged Len from the front, hiding her frightened expression above his clavicles, others jumbled themselves together like sardines. Luka could only laugh at her friends and stood up to high-five Gakupo.

Gumi and Gumo's father then came to the bonfire and announced, "Okay kids! The fireworks are set up, everyone gets four sparklers! When they all fizz out we're going to detonate the bigger ones."

The students applauded and cheered, starting to run around childishly waving their glowing sparklers in front of one another. Neru and Len shared their sparklers, letting the light slowly fizz out, allowing it to linger warmly in front of them, the heat radiating onto their gently smiling faces.

Neru sighed contentedly as she was held in Len's arms, "This is so breathtaking, I wish summer break never ends…"

Len gazed down at Neru in his arms and stated, "Why? When we get back to school we'll be able to see each other every day."

"But, we won't be having as much fun as this…" she said somberly.

"Who says? It'll be our senior year! I'll _make sure_ it will be awesome. Common Neru, we have a lot to look forward too, like prom, Disney Land, grad-night, and our summer break before college!" Len explained eagerly.

"Yeah, I guess you're right! Thanks for cheering me up, you know exactly what to say Len to raise my spirits." Neru proclaimed dreamily, letting her eye lids fall.

"You're very welcome Neru, uh…ha ha, if you don't mid I gotta' take a leak, I think I drank too many sodas." Len stated slightly embarrassed.

"By all means go! I'll hang-out with Meiko and Gumi until you get back, don't worry I'll save some snacks for you." Neru proclaimed.

**With Rin And Kiyoteru...**

The two were sharing a blanket and roasting some marshmallows by the bon fire.

A familiar watery thought crept up inside Rin's head so she stated, "Um, Kiyoteru? I have to go to the ladies room if you don't mind. I won't take long."

"Okay, I'll save your spot and roast some more marshmallows until you get back." Kiyoteru replied, watching her as she walked back to the beach house.

Coincidentally the twins had to use the bathroom at the same time, what they didn't know was that they were _not alone_ in the house…

Rin had just exited the girl's side of the house when she ran into Len in the hallway who was going to go back outside again. She smiled at him awkwardly and turned her head to the side, refusing to meet his stare.

They stood in the corridor silently until Len asked, "Gakupo's story was pretty good. Did you get scared? I didn't really, but it was still well-put."

"N-no…I didn't get scared. Kiyoteru was protecting me, so I felt safe. I saw you do the same with Neru…" Rin answered shyly, still looking away from him.

All of a sudden a pair of voices echoed through the house, someone was inside _with them_. The twins both jolted realizing they had company and didn't know whether to leave or stay, creating this uncomfortable tension between them. The people inside might've been Gumi and Gumo's parents who would be suspicious of why they were inside the house alone and not with the others. Len stood in front of Rin, creating a barrier so that he could see who the strangers were. Faint laughter resounded off the walls, and Len lightly pushed his sister against a wall hiding her behind him so that he could peer out in front of her. He saw Gakupo and Luka, giggling and planting light kisses on one another.

Rin tried to stare over his shoulder and said in a quiet voice, "Who…who is it?"

He lifted his hand to motion her to stop moving and whispered, "Gakupo and Luka, I think _they think_ they're alone…I have a bad feeling about this…"

Len could see them walking in their direction, kissing slightly, then separating for a breath of air, only to grope each other as they walked towards the corridor where the bedrooms were.

He watched Luka say seductively into Gakupo's ear, "Hey….we're alone right now. How about a quick fuck!"

Len instantaneously felt a tightness in his throat, he whipped his head around swiftly and threw Rin a _'follow me and hurry' _face. She obliged and the twins dove into the room they were closest too, not knowing it was _Gakupo_ and Kaito's quarters. Len closed the door as quietly as he could, resting his ear on it wondering what room the couple would choose, while Rin huddled herself closely behind his back. He heard their voices getting perilously near and he thought, _Holy shit, I think I'm inside Gakupo's room. Fuck my life, how am I supposed to get out of this?! How am I going to get Rin out of here?! _He looked towards the window, it would take too long to remove the screen mesh and get out but the sliding-closetwas right there.

He shot Rin a nervous look before saying in a hushed quivery voice, "G-get into the closet! They're coming to t-this room!-Quick hide!"

She slid open the closet and crawled inside, there were some boxes so Rin tucked her knees in front of her chest, balling herself up allowing enough room for him to sandwich himself beside her. He closed the closet door as noiselessly as he could but he didn't finish because Gakupo and Luka entered the room. There was a tiny space were Len could see everything, and I mean _everything_, it was a full moon after all.

Len watched as they started to remove their clothes like animals in heat, they were making enough noise so he whispered to Rin, "Close your eyes, don't open them."

She obeyed and he put both his hands over her ears tightly so that the sounds they would start making would be muffled, but not one would be able to cover his _ears_…

"Put it in." Luka said panting slightly as she bent over. Len's eyes bulged as he observed them, he tried to close his eyes, he truly wanted to, but he had never seen real-life people having sex in front of him before, he was a mesmerized teenage boy, he could not fight his primal instincts or his eyes refusing to close.

He saw Gakupo place the tip of his penis at the back of her rear with his hand, the other held her hip supportively, and with one quick thrust he was inside her. She moaned causing Len to jerk in surprise, this was a _real woman_ in front of him making _real noises_, this couple wasn't on his computer screen like it typically was, it was ten feet away from him. Len couldn't even think, he was just 'being', 'existing', and 'present', there was no turning back, he had already seen the first moments of their love making, it would make no difference if he closed his lids now.

"Nnnnggh~! Go faster!" Luka moaned, arching her back and shooting her head upwards.

"Shut up, I'm _already _fucking you, let me do it how I want." Gakupo stated hungrily, he then grabbed both her arms as she was bent over and began to pound her ass rhythmically.

A constant slapping sound echoed through the bedroom, and a familiar sensation began to grown inside Len's groin. He freaked out grasping that if his erection reached full potential it might press itself against Rin's calves which were squished against his own calves. Len squeezed his legs closer together so that his boner would not slip out and accidently graze her skin, fearing that despite her closed eyes she might recognize what it was.

Their sex crazed friend's voices grew louder and more violent as they continued to fuck each other, the blood in their privates surging with ecstasy. Len observed Luka's breasts jiggle to a constant motion, the tips of her nipples were erect as Gakupo rubbed one of his palms over them, hammering his pelvis and huffing feverishly all the while. Luka groaned in pleasure as Gakupo had hit the right spot, her knees consequently failing as a result, hinting that an orgasm was approaching. As soon as she hit the carpet floor Gakupo's dick slipped out, a string of bodily fluids flung outwards along with his hard throbbing member.

But they weren't done yet, that was just pre-cum, Gakupo turned her over and muttered dazedly, "You're so fucking hot, your pussy feels so fucking tight."

"Stop teasing me asshole, now pound me with your cock!" Luka shouted outreaching her arms towards him, they embraced and he let his pelvis sink into her crotch once more, his arms holding his body on top of her.

Their fucking was deafening, so much so that Len pressed his hands over Rin's ears even further. His finger tips couldn't help but notice she was _trembling_. He was fully aware that Rin knew _exactly_ what was going on, he only wished to shield her from it, to lessen the blow. He could not entirely eradicate the situation they were in but he held her ears firmly the entire time.

Without warning Gakupo increased his pace, he was shoving himself inside her so rapidly at the moment that Luka's entire body was dragged with his dick whenever he pulled out slightly. He scraped his member on the roof of her walls, marking her with the head of his shaft, pressing his rod as much as he could on the top of her pussy. Luka arched her back, her lips refused to shut as short yelps of intense pleasure escaped her drooling mouth. She tore at the carpet with her fingernails, quivering madly as she rode out her orgasm.

Len watched Luka as she persisted to uncontrollably spasm, the muscles of her stomach tensed as her thighs trembled trying to wrap them around Gakupo's waist screaming, "Oh FUCK! I'm cumming! Holy shit I'm cumming! Nnnnn yessss!"

As they sat in the closet waiting for their friends to finish Len couldn't help but feel like _he _was going to finish too. Despite not touching his penis the whole ordeal, he knew he had reached his limit. Len's torso shuddered as he watched Gakupo pull out and ejaculate all over Luka's inner thigh, making Len cum too. He was deathly afraid of Rin noticing when they left the closet, that is pants were wet _only_ around his _crotch_, she would know if she looked down.

Gakupo and Luka took a moment to breath in some air and settle their nerves before putting on their clothes and walking hand in hand out of the room.

As soon as Len was sure they were gone he exhaled a sigh of relief and removed his hands from Rin's ears who muttered shakily, "A-are they g-gone?"

He refused to return his twin's gaze and proclaimed unsteadily, "Y-yeah, they left. We c-can go now…"

They stepped out of the closet and declined to even glance at one another. The room was filled with the aroma of sex which consisted of sweat, cologne, and perfume. Luckily for Len his shirt was long enough that it passed his zipper, so Rin wouldn't see his _accident _after all. After a minute of regaining their poise and normal breathing Len shattered the stillness in the bedroom.

With his head down he mumbled to his sister, "I'm going to go outside first. We should leave one at a time so others don't get suspicious if we leave together. We've been gone for a good fifteen minutes or so…"

"That's fine with me, you go first…" Rin stated, her back facing him.

He left the room slowly, but not to go back and meet Neru but to change his boxers and pants. Rin did the same and she walked to her temporary quarters after she was certain Len was gone. They each fumbled as they removed their underwear, slightly disgusted at their bodies for getting carried away. Despite not hearing much of what was going on, Rin could still decipher when Luka was having an orgasm (she was screaming so of course Rin would hear it) and that was enough to get her wet, it didn't help either that her pretty-boy twin brother was protecting her while people were fucking in the same room as them.

The twins went back to their significant others pretending like nothing had happened, as though they were not changed people, like they had never been in the same room as Luka and Gakupo making love. The last day of their trip ended without anybody understanding what madness had just taken place. No one would _ever_ know, but Rin and Len would. From that last Sunday onwards their hands wouldn't be able to control themselves…this was the spark they needed for the fire of their _temptations _to kick in…it was only a matter of time…before all hell broke loose….

**A/N: Do you still like Kiyoteru now (for those of you who did)? Ha ha, don't worry, he's not **_**all**_** bad, you'll see. I want to know if the lemon parts I wrote got to you readers. If it did, then you've got some steamy action to look forward to...**** :P**

**I've never written lemon before so it was a bit difficult for me. I'll correct typos later when my internet works, it's been rather erratic lately.**

**Oh yeah and please review/see you next chapter!**


	10. Chapter 10: Irrepressible Urges…

**Chapter 10: Irrepressible Urges…**

The twins were home, their parents having picked them up after saying goodbye to their friends and the beach house. Slightly less than two weeks of vacation was left, just two weeks…of absolute torture for both of them.

Len would not sleep, he knew if he did, he would dream of the unthinkable, of the taboo, of his deepest most intimate desires that should never be fulfilled, so insomnia devoured him. He did anything to keep himself awake, mostly he played videogames like COD, the Final Fantasy series, the Mass Effect trilogy, all of the Halos: he played games because he needed his sensory receptors to be occupied. With his eyes glued to the TV screen he could not hear Rin, see Rin, touch Rin, or do anything basically _with Rin_, in this way he could protect her…from himself.

He took a breather from playing ps3 multiplayer online to go downstairs for his billionth coffee that week. He had been awake for more than three days straight and his batteries were about to run out. Len's hands trembled as he opened the cabinet to look for sugar, even the simplest of movements had become difficult for him, everything was spatially unequal. He reached for the sugar container but was only met with air when he tried to grab it, his sense of space around his body was failing, he really needed some sleep.

It was the exact _opposite_ for Rin, all she _did_ was sleep. She feared getting out of bed and running into her other half then remembering when she saw his face that terrible night they shared in that sliding closet. She hadn't seen or looked at Len in three days, but she knew eventually they would run into each other, it was inevitable, they lived under the same roof. She headed for the kitchen for a glass of water…..and it happened…..they were in the same room again.

Len was sipping his coffee quite jittery I might add when his dark sunken eyes made contact with his sister's. He stopped drinking, he could only look at her wordlessly as she stood in the kitchen with a blank stare on her face. They said nothing, they pretended they weren't thinking anything dirty but they _were_, that feeling was so heavy in the room you could almost touch it, the feeling of wanting to _touch_ each other.

He grew disgusted at himself and threw his half-filled coffee cup into the sink after Rin left, biting his lip to the point of it bleeding again. Rin was also appalled by her unmentionable emotions, she went into her room with her ice cold water, sat on her bed and after a long pause…..dunked the entire cup of chilly liquid all over her head. She wanted the freezing water to snap her out of thinking about '_it_'.

Rin was desperate, she wanted to numb herself so that she wouldn't feel anything on her body, so she went to her bathroom and filled the tub with water. She went downstairs for a few cups filled with ice, headed back to her lavatory and threw them in the water. With her clothes on she submerged herself in the icy pool she had created. She immersed her head below the surface and closed her eyes hoping that she would finally get sleep were she wasn't sweating, hot, and thinking about '_it_'.

In Len's room he had resumed playing videogames, letting his eyes become wasted away by the TV screen so that they would become so weak he wouldn't be able to see. The coffee he had drunk made him want to go to the bathroom so he went down the hallway to take a leak. He opened the door to find…..Rin lifeless with her body mostly submerged underwater in her sleeping clothes. He was completely dumbfounded, his eyes widened and his knees began to buckle as he thought, _Is….is she dead?! Did she kill herself?!_

Without a second thought he dove for the bathtub and pulled her body out, he jerked when his arms made contact with the water, it must've been colder than 40° Fahrenheit. He struggled as he dragged her out of the tub, her clothes adding extra weight as he fought pulling her onto the bathroom floor. Len had gotten Rin out of the tub, but she hadn't moved, not one bit the entire time and he knew they were in trouble.

Out of breath and shaky he cradled her in his arms, rocking their bodies back and forth whispering, "Please please please wake up. Open your eyes, please say _something_…_anything_…..just please wake up…."

After a moment of stillness a hand touched his cheek, a frozen deathly hand, and he opened his watery gaze to see Rin with blued lips say gently, "I was finally able….to sleep well…."

He bit his already bleeding lips trying to stop his tears from falling, but they started pouring out like rain, uncontrollably and without fail. Rin brushed his dampened flaxen hair out of his eyes as she watched him cry for the first time in front of her. He was like a different person to her, this crying boy was not her brother, he was different from him, this person crying was a _man_, a man she knew she was in love with...

Len's broad shoulders quaked violently as he mumbled breathlessly to her, "T-this is s-s-so not cool. I c-can't s-s-stop c-crying. W-what's w-wrong w-w-with me Rin?"

His twin sighed and buried herself deeper in his arms muttering softly, "Nothing is wrong with you, you're human that's all…"

She let him cry himself out and whenever the tears became too much she gently wiped them off his cheek with her palm. After a bit more than half an hour, he stopped, he was so weak now that he could weep no longer. Rin who had slowly regained her body warmth stood up and helped Len walk to his room, she threw his arm over her back and hauled him to his bed. She knew he had been awake for three days, having never once heard him turn off his TV or even the lights in his room.

The glow under his door had been on since they came back from their trip so figuring he was exhausted, she tucked him in, kissed him on the forehead goodnight, and was about to leave when he garbled weakly, "Don't leeeeeave me…..stayyyyy heeeere Rin…pleeeeease don't go….."

She blushed faintly and was about to depart anyways when he abruptly grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his bed. He forced their bodies together under his blanket and mumbled, "Just stay here…..….like this…so I know that…..you're alive…"

Rin could feel her heart quicken and her hands become shaky, she couldn't resist her urges and whispered tenderly to him, "I'm alive….don't be scared, I won't leave you….."

She started to kiss him on the cheek affectionately, and after a tiny laugh of approval escaped his mouth she continued downwards, planting light feathery kisses on his neck and behind his ear, she wanted to touch him more but he unexpectedly announced groggily to her, "I'm really sleepy Rin….guh' night…."

He turned over on his side so that his back was now facing her, she frowned and curled her body onto his like a bandage saying, "Goodnight Len, sweet dreams…"

As Rin spooned him he could feel her supple breasts pressed against his scapulae, her petite fingers hugging his chest, and her soft female breathing tickling the hairs on the back of his head. He would have sweet dreams _indeed_ this particular night, but he wouldn't remember them unfortunately…

He entered the dream world like normal, but this time he was on an island, all alone by himself. He at once began his quest for the faceless girl so that he could tell her he's upset by her recent cold behavior. Len didn't know what in his subconscious was making her so malicious, for many years she was such a charming being, and out of the blue she became a despot. The island looked as though it came straight out of a calendar: palm trees, white sand, shallow clear ocean, and a bright sun to wrap it all up.

Len sifted through some trees deeper into the island hoping to find something interesting…and he did. In the middle of the island with the beach still in view was a massive birdcage, one as big as a small house. He gaped at the colossal metal structure and stepped inside. There was a table with two chairs and china plates set up in the middle that appeared as though it belonged inside a doll-house but was human-sized. There was also accordingly a perching stick large enough for a person to sit on like a swing. Len sat at the empty table and waited for someone to appear, wishing that it would be the faceless girl so he could cuss her out, instead Rin stepped within the cage.

He smiled at her as she waved hello to him, but this wasn't _any regular_ Rin, this was a bird/butterfly/human hybrid Rin. She was sporting four wings, two like a white bird's on her back and a matching pair of ashen butterfly wings on the bottom, she wore an ivory sparkled fairy-like tutu and sat across from him at the table.

Len could only grin at her silly attire and asked flirtatiously, "Why are you wearing that? Are you trying seduce me?"

Fairy Rin giggled and stated softly, "This is part of a history long forgotten. I'm in such a form because I'm trying to help you _remember_. As for seducing you, we all know that the Rin in real life doesn't have to _try_ to…"

He reddened at her suggestion, mostly because it was true and stammered in response, "I-it isn't my fault, I'm a-a young man in the peak of my hormonal years! I can't help how I feel…"

She chuckled at him again and said coyly, "We all know that isn't the truth, ultimately your _mind _chooses whether to acknowledge those feelings in your heart or not. The heart does not control everything, otherwise chaos would run amok in the world. It is the _brain_ that makes all the choices, the heart can only give subtle advice towards decision making."

He stopped smiling and proclaimed seriously, "So these feeling I have, you're basically saying _I_ chose to have and accept them? That…..I could've _stopped_ it….but didn't?"

"That is correct. If everyone listened to their hearts all the time, then everyone would cheat every chance they got, lie every opportunity they had, did the wrong thing every time they were presented with two options. Logic allows us to do the right thing, the heart has nothing to do with that, it is the mind that controls this." Fairy Rin stated, she then stood up to sit on the wooden perch in the center of the birdcage.

As he sat stoically in his chair he thought, _I can't believe it, I've never thought of my feelings for Rin that way….she's….she's right. I could've ignored them, but they were so strong I decided not to. I CHOSE to keep falling deeper and deeper in love with her, no one forced me to do this, I made the CONSCIOUS decision to act on them, I should've stopped lying to myself a long time ago and just accepted that…..….I'm screwed up in the head rather than trying to hide it from myself all this time…_

"So you've finally accepted the reality of your situation I take it?" the faceless girl declared out of the blue.

His head shot up to find that he was now currently inside the cage with _both_ Rin and his once pleasant figment of imagination.

Len glared at her and proclaimed crossly, "What do _you_ want? Come to torture me again? What kind of sick game do you have for me today?"

Her muddled features appeared to be frowning and she stated, "I do what is necessary to help you recall your most _important_ memory. I'm only doing what your subconscious wishes. That is to remember something precious you have lost…"

He snarled at her and retorted, "If this memory is _so damn precious,_ then why have I forgotten it?! You're always throwing me abstract bullshit, just tell me whatever the hell it is that I can't remember!"

"I cannot do that, I am not able to bring up memories that are lost within the labyrinths of your mind. You have to search for them in real life where you can do what is not possible in this realm. All _I _can do is guide you towards action in the conscious world…" the faceless girl explained.

"Tell me where I can start looking for this memory, where can I begin my investigation, who I can ask. Just give me anything I can use." Len asked anxiously, his leg bouncing up and down in a hurried manner as he sat.

The fairy-like Rin who was still sitting on the perch suggested unexpectedly, "Your dreams Len, write them down and you will find what you have lost. Dreams consist of memories both old, new, and ones not even fulfilled yet all mixed into one package, they are the place where you will find your answers most."

"Is that all? You aren't going to throw me any names or anything? No places, no people…..nothing?" Len inquired restlessly, standing up in his chair to walk towards the two girls.

"As I said before your search is outside of your dreams, we cannot do things we have no capability of satisfying. We are merely guides, we can only push you to do what you wish." The faceless girl clarified walking towards Len slowly.

"Why do you keep saying this is what _I _wish? I never asked for you to help me with _anything_, so why do you keep appearing in my dreams? Who exactly are you?!" Len declared snappily to the featureless girl.

"I already told you did I not? I am all that you desire in any mold you wish me to present to you, that is all I am, nothing more…" the mysterious girl affirmed caressing his cheek with her palm.

"_Really_? Then explain to me why you're fucking blonde and why you don't even have a _face_ damn-it?!" he announced agitatedly, his fists balling up.

"Is it not obvious? You have a _type_ Len that you go for: flaxen hair, pale but peachy skinned, and petite bodied. As for the reason I do not have a face, it is because your objects of desire changes with whomever you are currently in love with, because of that I am a blank slate. A 'tabula rasa', but my body remains consistent because the girls you take a liking to have similar statures." The hazy featured girl illuminated.

Len took a minute or so to absorb her justifications as to why she appeared the way she did and he came to the conclusion that she wasn't lying. She had no reason to lie to him, she was _part_ of his mind, why would his mind _lie_ to _himself_?

As he realized her unusual honesty, he still wasn't so sure about her of spiteful actions of late so he questioned, "I believe you, I don't think you're lying….but that hasn't explained why you have you become so mean to me recently….you are part of my dreams, you were so nice before…why have you changed?"

The faceless girl laughed hysterically at his query, after a second of catching her breath she said, "Is it not apparent to you Len? Once you started loving your sister in an illegal manner, your moral compass, 'me', had to change as a result. I act this way to keep you from doing harm to yourself. If you carry out your innermost yearnings for her, then you will receive an equally fitting punishment, be it jail, death, or both."

Len contemplated quite solemnly, _All this time you were protecting me? As my moral compass you had to do whatever you needed to keep me out of harm's way I guess, but I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep up this front. I'm fighting with myself every day. Every second I'm near her I feel like dying knowing we can never be….I don't know how much more I can bear, especially with her wanting to be closer to me all the time. A guy in love can only hold out for so long….before his heart overflows with longing and he loses it…_

Fairy Rin who had stepped off the perch and floated down towards him proclaimed, "Are you worried you'll give in to your cravings for her?"

"Of course, that's all I think about despite my best efforts not to…" he replied with sadness in his voice.

"Then do what I told you before, one choice is the sweetest fruit you'll _ever_ eat, a fruit that will surely kill you but will give you the happiest moments of your life. The other is just a fine tasting fruit, but will give you a pleasant life, a living a billion times safer than if you eat that which is forbidden. I have told you before haven't I? -That Neru is the best option, unless you are willing to accept your sentence wholeheartedly then you should not even think of being with her..…" the unidentified girl enlightened.

"I'm not so sure I can be with her anymore….knowing that I'm not fully in love with her. I feel like I'm cheating on myself, on my own feelings _and_ on her. Neru doesn't deserve to be lied to indirectly, but I love her too, just not the way I know she loves me…" Len acknowledged sorrowfully, his eyes downcast in shame.

Fairy Rin smiled somberly at him and said, "You know what you have to do don't you Len? Despite your heart's yearnings, you have to stay with her, if you don't you'll _corrupt_ your little sister. Remember, she is a delicate flower you _swore_ to protect, so protect her! That is the deepest most _purest _love you can ever give her. That love is greater than any love you can do with your body…believe me, your faith in her innocence is greater than your lust for her being."

"I certainly hope so…" Len declared dejectedly, un-fallen tears riding the edges of his water line.

And with a bright ray of sunlight hitting his face Len awoke from perhaps his most illuminating dream yet, but he couldn't remember a _thing_. He was so worn out from not sleeping for three days that his body did not have enough energy to allow him to recall it, he _was_ able to remember however that Rin went to sleep with him in his bed the night before…

He turned over to gaze at his still slumbering beloved angel, her dark lashes draped over her rosy cheeks as she quietly breathed and he reflected as he watched her, _I love you so much it hurts to have you next to me, I wish you were unkind to me Rin, so that I could learn to hate you and make believe that these feeling of love I have are all childish lies…_

Rin snuggled her body closer to Len's believing him to be a pillow, their abdomens at present grazing skin to skin, and their fair locks sprawled over each other's space on the mattress they shared. He let her huddle nearer to him, he wanted to get as close as he possibly could without crossing that line, without kissing her again, but her chaste resting face was so tantalizing that his hands couldn't control themselves. Without consideration he ran his thumb over her lips slowly, allowing the pores on his fingertips to soak in the texture of her youthful mouth. They were moist and taut, resulting in his heart beginning to race elatedly, still without thinking he let his thumb part open her lips and slid it inside her oral cavity, pressing his finger against her tongue.

His younger twin who was a deep sleeper had begun to awaken, she yawned and Len jerked in response, he withdrew his thumb rapidly knowing she was starting to wake up and realized how perverted he truly was.

With his knuckle to his mouth Len thought, _I am such a fucking pervert, god help me…I want to touch my sister so badly that I think I might just go insane…I am surely going to go to hell._

Out of nowhere a knock on his door resounded, before he could even budge he was met with his parents stepping into his room….

**A/N: Well this is my last chapter submitted before I go back to school! I hope you all enjoyed it, as for future releases they'll take longer since school life will resume & summer break is over**** :(****Fuuuuuck. **

**I know that some people don't like non-RinxLen pairings and some do but I'm trying to be realistic here! Siblings in real life wouldn't jump into incest so easily, they would fight with themselves first, even date other people which is why I'm doing those pairings. Bear with me readers, I know I can't satisfy all your expectations but I'm not trying to anyways. I'll use characters only when I need them & won't use them when I don't. If you feel like you're missing out on some character take a rest from reading "The Start Of Something Sinister" and read another fanfiction, or go outside and get some fresh air! Take a breather you know?**

**Thanks for stopping by and please review!** \(^o^)/


	11. Chapter 11: Trying To Remember

**Chapter 11: Trying To Remember**

Len was met with his father's stern icy gaze and his mother's concerned face as they stepped inside his room.

Before he could even speak his father questioned harshly, "Len….I WANT an explanation. What _exactly_ did you do with your sister yesterday?"

His mother's apprehensive face wasn't helping Len's ability to be calm and she proclaimed, "It's okay honey. Just…..just tell us the truth….we won't get mad."

He almost lost it but then he recognized, _I didn't do ANYTHING…at least not yet. So why are they here?...Jesus Christ! Do they KNOW?! Oh my god, they FUCKING KNOW MY TERRIBLE SECRET!_

Len sputtered out frantically trying to reduce the damage, "I-I'm sorry! I c-couldn't help it! I tried to control m-myself…I _REALLY _DID! I-It just h-happened!"

"It just _happened_? IT JUST _HAPPENED_?! Things like _that _don't just HAPPEN! You are _NOT_ little kids anymore! This….this is _unacceptable_!" their father declared almost shouting.

He couldn't take it anymore, they knew, they _really _knew, and he stated quietly as he began to weep, "I'm s-sorry d-dad! B-but I don't r-regret it…..n-not o-one bit…."

"Wakeup your little sister! I'm going to teach you both a _lesson_ about your actions. Well GO ON NOW, WAKE HER!" their father yelled, his hands on both his hips.

He shook his sister gently several times until she started to awaken.

After rubbing her eyes and getting out of his bed she asked tiredly, "Mmmm? Why is everyone in Len's room?"

Without answering her question his father yanked her wrist violently and dragged her down the hallway, their mother following silently behind.

As Len realized he might physically reprimand her like when they were little, he jumped out of bed and ran after them screaming, "D-DON'T HURT HER! IT'S ALL _MY FAULT_ SO PLEASE! -DON'T TOUCH RIN!"

It actually was _all_ his sister's mistake, she was the one who let it _overflow_. He ran to the bathroom and almost fainted when he saw Rin on her knees….on the floor…._scrubbing_. He had entirely forgotten about the flooded tub full of cold water and the mess they had made. He was so relieved he almost threw up.

Len fell to his knees and started laughing hysterically while saying, "Christ I'm s-stupid, I almost let it slip! I'm such an _idiot_…"

"Yes you're both stupid now clean up the mess you made or no cell phones for a week!" their father declared shutting the bathroom door behind him, their mother by his side.

"Len, why are you crying? Did Dad hit you because of the mess I made?" Rin inquired as she mopped up the floor.

"It's nothing, I just freaked out for no reason…so don't worry about it." he replied trying to hide his trembling hands as he cleaned.

"You freaked out about _what_?" Rin continued, then stopped mopping and gazed at him.

"About….stuff. Common let's finish this already." Len declared beginning to feverishly wipe the counters.

After a good two hours they had finished. School was right around the corner so they were going to need supplies so the next day their family went shopping.

**After Getting School Supplies...**

The Kagamines were putting food in cupboards and things in their rightful shelves when Rin found something that didn't belong. Something she _knew_ was for her. In the back corner of a shelf was a jar that said: '_Orange Citrus Jam_' in gold letters. She glanced at her family to see if they were preoccupied, they were so she slipped it inside her sleeveless hoodie and went to her room.

She ran her fingers over the lettering and thought, _Did you buy this for me Len? If so, then why didn't you give it to me? This gift…what did I do to deserve it? _

As she put the jar on her writing desk she observed all the things Len had given her over the years: Tangie (the orange beta fish from the festival), butterfly hair clips, stuffed animals, drawings of them when they were little. Basically her room was _filled_ with trinkets he had gotten her and she recognized that she had never _really_ given him as much as he had.

She was about to go to his room to see if he had anything displayed that _she_ had given him, but he opened her door saying, "There's still some groceries left to unpack. Mom asked us to help her out."

Rin couldn't stand in front of her writing desk fast enough, he had seen it, the Orange Citrus Jam he had purchased during their beach trip.

She was expecting her twin to say something but he didn't so she asked bluntly, "The Orange Citrus Jam….did you buy it?"

"Yeah…what about it?" he replied, his eyes glued to the jar.

"Is…..is it for me?" she stated smiling a little.

"No…do you want it?" Len proclaimed hiding the embarrassment that was about to boil over on his cheeks.

"But you know….._I'm_ the only one in the house who likes Citrus stuff or anything to do with Oranges…soooo why would you buy something like this?" Rin carried on teasingly. She knew it was for her but she just wanted to hear him say it.

"Okay okay! I bought it for _you_. I just thought because I've been spending so much time with Neru recently that I should give you something to remind you that I haven't forgotten about you…" Len explained, his face a rosy red.

"You didn't have to do that you know. I'm aware that you care about me. It's _me_ who should be giving you something! Look at my room! I have a lot of things you've given me Len and I realized I don't give you _nearly_ as much…" Rin proclaimed gloomily.

As he gazed at his sister's beautiful untainted face Len contemplated, _You don't need to give me anything, you being here…'alive', 'breathing', and 'present'_ _is enough. Just the sight of you is PLENTY to make me happy. You'll never really know how I feel about you…and you probably never will…_

"Don't get me anything, having you as my sister is enough. Think about it Rin, if we weren't born twins, I would be alone in the world….so thank you for that." Len illuminated then continued, "I'm going to finish unpacking the groceries…"

"Wait I'm going to give you something…" Rin announced abruptly.

Len turned around and was met with a tight embrace and a whisper from her lips saying, "I love you Len…this is my _gift_ to _you_…"

He returned her hug and wrapped his arms around her waist melding their bodies together. He buried his head into the recesses of her neck inhaling her scent: the sweet smell of orange and strawberry shampoo filled his nose as he let his hands run over her firm skin. Rin could feel Len's groin pressed against her crotch and nearly let out a small noise but grasped if she did he would stop so she remained still as she let her twin continue to explore her figure.

One of his hands ran through her hair and she could hear him breathing her in. Len's lips were pressed against Rin's ear and she wanted to return the affection so she placed her hand on his lower stomach, brushing her fingers lightly down his sides. He tensed and she knew he was enjoying this, so she ran her fingertips further down but stopped just above his zipper. Rin didn't want him to know that she wanted to touch '_it_', so she let him continue to indulge in their sexual embrace.

He could feel his sister's heartbeat thrum through her sleeveless hoodie against his own chest and thought, _Why is your heart beating so fast? You don't love me like I love you so why…..…is your heart doing something only MY heart should be doing?_

To see if perhaps maybe their feelings were the same Len stopped groping her to rest his head on her breast, his ear being pushed against her heart. He could hear it, the inconstant thunderous pound of a heart in love, a heart full of desire, a heart just like his _own_. He withdrew to stare at her. The gaze she was returning to him was the _same_. She was _just as flushed_ in the face as _he was_, and he recognized he had to stop the insane deed they were about to commit.

Len understood that Rin (at the moment at least) was currently feeling the _exact_ way he has been feeling for a few months now, that is wanting to fulfill that longing so he said as he left her room in a hurry, "I…I have to g-go…get the groceries…"

He needed to run off, if he didn't he knew they would have sex, _despite_ having their parents home. Their thirst for each other was strong enough for them to want to _ignore_ that fact.

As Len took the last of the groceries from the car he saw his father look down and begin laughing uncontrollably saying, "Son let _me_ take care of these bags for you *snickers* while _you_ take care of _that_ right there."

Len followed his father's eyes to his crotch. Unbeknownst to him a massive boner had resulted from the lusty hug he had shared with Rin and he immediately wanted to disappear from the face of the planet. He was so concerned about getting out of her room he hadn't noticed his wood becoming as hard as a rock.

He gave his father the last of the bags and ran to his bedroom, his head down in humiliation. Len locked the door then cautiously looked down wondering if he should beat off or get some cold water and take care of it that way.

He fought with himself mentally as he debated, _If I jack off now….no doubt my mind will use Rin to make me cum. If I start to masturbate thinking about her…I…..I don't know if they'll repress my urges or make them WORSE. SHIT! If Dad really knew why I had wood, if he knew THIS was because of Rin…his daughter…AND my SISTER…..he would kill me with his bare hands…_

Len was afraid of taking his hunger for Rin a step further, by acting on them sexually so he asked his Mom from his room to give him a cold glass of water. He dare not step out of his quarters with the bulging tent in his boxers that he was currently sporting. She gave him the glass and he shut his door saying he would change, and he did. He tore off his clothes in a mad fit, put a towel on the ground and stuck his junk inside the cup. A massive jolt went up his spine as his member was pricked with thousands of needle-like sensations, but a downpour of relief filled his soul. He wasn't about to let his primitive impulses take over, he still had _some_ control left….however little. Thank goodness school was around the bend, at least then Len would be distracted with homework.

**Sometime In The First Week Of School At Lunchtime…**

Gakupo stated digging through his pockets restlessly, "Damn it! I'm so fucking poor. Hey Kaito, can you lend me a five?"

His cobalt-haired friend grimaced at him and replied, "Hell _no_! Instead of asking for other's change all the time, how about you stop buying _condoms_ so often and _eat_ instead?"

The boys all snickered then Mikuo added, "Don't mind him Gakupo. He tried to bang Miku but she wouldn't give in. She's smarter than I thought!"

Gumo looked at Len anxiously then said, "Oh…that reminds me. Have you and Neru already made it to that point yet Len?"

Len put a bag of chips on his tray and proclaimed, "No…I'm not going to pressure her to do _anything_. When she's ready she'll tell me. It's as simple as that."

Gakupo smirked at Len and announced, "_Only_ Len and I have no trouble bedding girls. _You_ wouldn't know that Kaito, but I don't blame you….you just don't realize that girls want to sleep with _men _that's all."

"I hope you get aids from Luka." Kaito mumbled under his breath walking away from his friends.

The guys watched as he sulked all the way to their lunch spot then Gumo declared suddenly, "Hey, there's Kiyoteru with Rin. They've been spending a whole lot of time together. Len…..do you think that he's 'done it' with your little sister?"

Len's fists contracted involuntarily and he answered after taking a breath, "Probably not. Rin isn't that weak-minded. It will take a lot more swooning before that happens."

Gakupo stared at Rin and Kiyoteru as they sat alone at a table at the edge of the cafeteria and stated, "I'm not so sure Len. Your sister may be smart, but Kiyoteru is _pretty _close to genius even if he _is_ a dick. He might have some cheesy ass lines that will make any girl's panties drop, even Rin's."

"Oh really? Like what Gakupo? Throw me a line right _now_ that he might use on her." Len asked defensively.

Gakupo closed his eyes for a moment than said with eyes full of passion, "Rin….I know this is going to sound selfish but I _want you_…..for _myself_. Don't look at other guys. I don't want the girl who escaped from my dreams to leave me again. When I'm sleeping I'm happy because you're always in my dreams. When I'm awake I'm happy because you're by my side again in the real world. But _promise_ me to _never_….._EVER_ leave me…..not when I'm asleep _or_ when I'm awake….because if you do, I'll never have any dreams worth remembering again…"

Gumo, Mikuo, and Len were all impressed by his effortless ability to spew out complete bullshit and make it sound cool. It made Len realize….that if Gakupo could so easily lie to Rin in a _practice run_, then Kiyoteru surely had something far more menacing up his sleeve.

"Are you worried Len? Your face is devoid of color dude…" Mikuo asked.

"I….I might be. I never thought it would be _that_ easy to say tacky stuff like that. I guess for some it is…" Len responded as he stared at his twin and his rival across the cafeteria.

**Meanwhile With Rin & Kiyoteru...**

"I've never been so fascinated by seeing a girl eat before. Maybe it's because you _aren't_ just any other girl Rin." Kiyoteru said grinning, his chin resting on his hand.

She stared at Kiyoteru and blushed saying, "Can you maybe….not look so much? It's kind of embarrassing…"

"As you wish. May I ask you a favor Rin instead?" Kiyoteru queried.

"Sure, what is it?" Rin replied mid-chewing.

"Can I come over to your house later this week? I want to spend as much time with you as possible before school becomes hectic." He clarified.

Rin put her fork in her mouth and gazed at Len on the other side of the room wondering, _Would that really be a good idea? I'm pretty sure Len doesn't think of you as a 'friend' anymore. If we were all in the same house together, maybe…just maybe if he sees how nice you are to me he'll realize he won't have to worry about us being together anymore..._

"So what's your answer Rin? Can I come over to your lovely abode and see how my gorgeous girlfriend lives?" Kiyoteru proclaimed sweetly.

"I guess that would be okay, I just have to ask my parents first. I've never had a boy over at my house who I was dating before so this is new territory for me…" Rin mumbled timidly.

"Then I'll ensure that your first experience with a boyfriend over at your house is the _best one_ you'll ever have." He declared smiling at her.

**Phone Calls Before Rin's Big Day...**

"So are you _really_ fine with Kiyoteru coming over to your place Rin?" Meiko asked on the other side of the phone while she painted her nails.

"Kind of. To be honest Kiyoteru makes a lot of decisions on his own and out of nowhere about plans he wants to do with me. It makes me a little jumpy sometimes." Rin illuminated.

"Don't worry Rin, if he does anything stupid I can ask Gumo to make the guys take care of him. They'll give him a major wedgie if he tries anything sneaky on you." Gumi stated enthusiastically

"No fair RIN! _I'm_ your best friend! Why didn't you tell _me_ first that you were going to have a boy over at your house that likes you?!" Miku whined tearing at her phone cord.

"Well Miku, ever since you started dating Kaito you've stopped hanging-out with us quite a bit. I still make occasions away from Kiyoteru to spend time with you girls, but Miku you haven't really….err….done that…" Rin announced hesitantly.

"It's only because Kaito is so _damn_ persistent! He's wonderful but so freaking _horny_ all the time! I'm sorry that I haven't been around recently but I'll make up for it. Let me do your makeup before he comes over Rin!" Miku suggested chewing her phone cord nervously.

"That sounds like a good idea! I say you go for it Rin!" Gumi piped in.

"I second that motion. I wonder if he will be able to keep his hands to himself?" Meiko stated chuckling somewhat.

"Okay Miku I'll let you do my makeup. Text me the details later. Girls….wish me luck! I have to get some beauty sleep for my big day tomorrow. -Talk to you later guys!" Rin declared happily.

"See you in eighteen hours Rin!_*BEEP*" Miku said, then put her phone back.

"Later ladies._*BEEP*" Meiko stated hanging up.

"Bye bye Rin, best of luck!_*BEEP*" Gumi proclaimed, then hung up her cell.

**Friday After School, Kiyoteru Comes Over…**

"So…..how do I look Miku?" Rin asked turning her upper body left and right in front of her friend.

"You look great! Um….but I think we should have a second opinion. A _guy's_ opinion." Miku explained.

The teal-haired girl then went out of the room and returned with Len who she threw in front of Rin and said, "Well what do you think of my newest creation? Do you think she's ready or should I put more mascara?"

Len just gazed at her as he absorbed her striking features. The curvature of her breasts against the white pleats of her sundress, the glimmer of her cherry lips, the cobalt twinkle of her eyes…everything saddened him knowing he could _by no means_ _ever_ 'have' her in the way he wanted to.

He hid his grief and proclaimed as normally as he could, "She looks good I guess. Don't put anymore makeup on her Miku, she's fine as she is…"

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. Okay Rin time for operation 'steal his heart'!" Miku declared eagerly leaving the room to get the house ready downstairs.

Before Rin followed her she felt Len take her wrist and whisper cautiously, "Be careful….okay? He's a _guy_…and guys aren't always as honest as they may seem….remember that."

She turned around and returned his serious gaze stating, "I….I know that. Kiyoteru won't hurt me, he's _refined_. I _know him_ Len….he's a good person. You can trust him."

"If you say so. Just watch out alright?" he persisted apprehensively.

"I will. Thanks but I have to go now." Rin proclaimed leaving him in her room.

He sat on her bed once she closed the door and looked around realizing what Rin had said about him giving her so many gifts was true. All over her room he saw things he had bought or made her. He flopped his head onto her pillow and watched Tangie (the orange fish he caught during the festival) swim around in circles. Gradually he closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of her beddings recalling the soft flaxen strands of her hair when they embraced.

Len knew Miku and Rin weren't going to back upstairs (as they were waiting for Kiyoteru to arrive) so he decided to snoop around a bit. He found a few art folders inside her desk drawers and opened them. He smiled widely as he flipped through Rin's childish drawings which were all done with crayons. Len ran his fingers over the etches in the paper, tracing his index over their lines, relishing in the fact _her_ tiny hands had made something so adorable.

Scribbles of their old house and butterflies littered the sheets in her sketch books and he remembered their perfect childhood. A youth free of worries, a time were his love for her was _pure_ and _unadulterated_.

He was still grinning when his eyes found an old drawing of a house, a home he and Rin _NEVER_ lived in. It was that creamy colored house with an indigo roof and yellow shudders from one of his _PAST DREAMS_….

**A/N: School is so hectic that I'm struggling to find time to write!**** :/**

**Don't worry, I'll find time eventually….somehow. Thanks readers for all the reviews! It gives me a little pep in my step when I'm writing knowing I have the support. I'd like input on what you think the picture means and what will happen to our star-crossed lovers. **

**Also did that trap I put get to you guys or were you **_**not**_** fooled? Did you forget/remember about the tub flooding or did you think the parents realized their kids' feelings?**

**Thanks for dropping by again and please review!**** :]**


	12. Chapter 12: Commencing The Hunt

**Chapter 12: Commencing The Hunt**

As Len stared at her scrawls on the paper and thought apprehensively, _This…this is impossible right? How could she draw something that came STRAIGHT out of my nightmares…? Perhaps it's just a coincidence…Maybe I'm merely freaking out again for no reason, but just to make sure it's merely chance….I'll look through some more drawings._

He folded her sketch of the house from his dreams and placed it inside his jean's pocket. With shaky fingers he sifted through the pages of doodles seeing nothing to worry about. Etches of her friends, their current school, their parents, a silver butterfly with a scarred wing. Len's hands stopped moving when he saw it. It wasn't a coincidence, it looked _precisely_ as it did from his dream: from the tear of the wing on its right side to the eerie glow of its body, she had done everything in detail.

Without consideration he took this crayoned picture too and tiptoed to his room. He hid them inside one of his old binders and went downstairs. Len was going to ask Rin if she's had any peculiar dreams lately, but instead he was met with Kiyoteru who was sitting on his living room couch.

"Good evening Len. Your sister looks _especially_ lovely today….don't you think?" Kiyoteru proclaimed with a creepy half smile riding on his lips.

Len knew he _knew_ his horrifying secret, but despite this he would play along with Kiyoteru's sick game of 'Pretend Not To Know And Smile'.

"Yeah…I suppose so." He answered sitting on the sofa across from him.

"I wonder what flavor her chap-stick is, or is that lipstick or lip-gloss?" his glasses-eyed classmate continued placing an index finger on his chin thoughtfully.

"Hell if I know. Who cares?" Len stated apathetically. His front of the carefree older big brother was almost perfect…_almost_…..but Kiyoteru was smart…_really_ smart.

Kiyoteru watched Len as he began to flip through channels on the TV and reflected, _What're you planning Len? Are you trying to be the bigger person by ignoring me? Well you aren't…eventually you'll have to succumb to your rage and then I will truly have won. _

"What kind of condoms should I use on her Len? You must know what she's allergic to….possibly latex rubber?" Kiyoteru asked nastily.

Len unwillingly clenched his jaw, but then he replied calmly, "I wouldn't know. Do you want me to go ask her? Here I'll go _right now_."

_If you want to play dirty Kiyoteru then let's play dirty. Didn't see this coming did you you dick-head?_ Len thought smirking.

Kiyoteru jumped out of his chair once Len started to say, "Hey Rin! Are you allergic to latex? Kiyoteru wants to know if you're ALLERIGC TO _LATEX RUBBER_!"

He grabbed at Len's shirt and proclaimed somewhat out of breath, "That's a-alright! I'll find out eventually. No need to rush right?"

Len grinned at him wickedly and explained, "I know that you _want_ me to get mad, but I won't. I _too_ am a master at deception. I've been lying to her my _entire life_. Did you really think I wouldn't know how to play this childish game of yours?"

Kiyoteru glared at Len, eyes tapering under his glasses and said, "I underestimated you. I know of your _taboo feelings _for her but she is _mine_ now, you have no right to touch her. If you dare cross that line, do not believe I won't hit you below the belt, because I _will_. I am a dirty player indeed, I will cheat if I have to."

"I realize you might deal me a low blow like blackmail, but what's in it for _you_? Do you actually like my sister or do you just want to torment me?" Len questioned fiercely.

"Both. I know it's childish of me to be jealous of you but I'll finally win once I bed her. I have already tried to be the bigger person, to ignore my anger…..but I cannot. It is not in my nature, besides….this is _far more entertaining_." Kiyoteru illuminated.

"Your drink is done Kiyoteru! You wanted some tea with honey and sugar right?" Rin asked thoughtfully.

Len shot Kiyoteru an annoyed look and thought, _Now you're making my sister make tea for you?! She isn't your fucking slave you know!_

His ebony-haired classmate took Rin's hand in his and kissed the topside of her palm whispering, "Thank you, it tastes wonderful."

Without speaking Len went to his room, cell-phone in hand. He scrolled through the numbers on his phone until he reached Gumi's, the only person he could trust with what he was about to request.

"Hello this is Gumi speaking, may I know who's calling?" his sister's friend stated.

"Uh….this is me…..Len. I know this is _really_ unexpected….but you're the only one I could think of to ask this." He proclaimed nervously.

"Err, yeah this is kind of surprising. Well, whatever. What dya' need Len?" she said cheerfully.

"This is going to sound horrible….like I'm a meddling douche-bag but…..I need you to keep an eye on my sister on her date today…." Len requested, shutting his eyes tight.

"Ehhhhhh~? What for? Kiyoteru seems nice, why would _I_ need to do that?" Gumi asked incredibly confused.

"You…..you don't understand. Kiyoteru _hates me_. We _pretend _to be friends when in reality we _detest_ each other. Do you see where I'm going with this Gumi?" Len explained pacing back and forth in his room.

Gumi smiled nervously on the other side of the phone and proclaimed, "Nope! Not a clue!"

He sighed deeply before he clarified, "Kiyoteru just told me to _my face_ that 'he will win once he's bed Rin'. To him their relationship is a _game_ only for his amusement. I can't allow this to happen. He'll _destroy_ her…..as….as one of her best friends I _need _you to do this….for _her_. Please…I beg of you, just do this just this once…."

"….….I've never thought of Kiyoteru as that type of person. Arrogant and ill-tempered _sure_…but _evil_? I…..I guess I can do it…..for _Rin_. But after this Len if I don't see _anything_ to worry about, then this will be the last time…." Gumi stated resolutely.

"Thank you!-THANK YOU!-THANKYOU! You really are the best! Okay so later today after they spend some time at my house they're going to the park by my old school, you know the one by the train station near my home? Rin's wearing a white pleated dress and that jerk is wearing a black dress shirt and grey jeans. You have to be there by at _least_ 6 pm. They're going to watch the sunset, try to be stealthy okay?" Len explained thoroughly.

"Okay, no problem. I have to go now so I can choose my outfit, one that she won't recognize." Gumi declared.

"Thanks again Gumi. You're a life saver." Len stated.

"No problem Len! Bye now!_ *BEEP*" Gumi proclaimed hanging up.

Len put down his cell and contemplated, _If anyone else were to protect her….it should be Gumi. She knows what to do when things get bad. I just hope she doesn't get stuck inside his web of lies as well._

**Meanwhile With Rin & Kiyoteru At The Park (With Gumi In The Shadows)…**

"So what do you think of Miku's makeover? Do I look pretty Kiyoteru?" Rin asked sweetly, poking her cheeks with her index fingers.

He laughed and said gently, "Do you even have to ask? You're so beautiful I find it difficult sometimes to notice the background around us…"

Like usual, after such a cheesy line another kiss was attempted and Rin could feel the oncoming pressure to submit to him. It made her uncomfortable, it made her _scared_, she didn't know why….but Kiyoteru seemed a little more intimidating today than usual.

Instead of letting him kiss her she quickly turned and pointed out saying, "Hey let's go on the swings Kiyoteru!"

He paused then stated, "Alright, let's swing together shall we?"

Kiyoteru lightly grabbed her hand and they headed for the swings. They began to swing back and forth building up their momentum, letting the cool summer air brush against their cheeks. The sky grew big and small as they swung gaining force on their chained chairs.

Once they reached as high as they could go Kiyoteru unexpectedly declared, "Okay Rin! Whoever jumps farthest on 3 gets to ask the other to do _whatever_ they want!"

Rin didn't exactly hear him and she proclaimed, "Whaaaat? I'm sorry-but I didn't get that!"

Out of nowhere he jumped off his swing and landed hard on the ground. Rin freaked out and screamed fumbling to get off of her own swing to get to her motionless companion.

In a frantic hurry she dove to his side stating, "A-are you okay Kiyoteru?!"

His eyes were still shut when he mumbled, "You didn't jump…..I _win_."

With one swift motion Rin (who was once on top of him) was now below Kiyoteru, his firm arms on both of her sides. She stared up at his darkened features, a shadow cast on whatever face he was currently making and she thought, _This man above me…..is a man I don't know well enough to love…._

As he hover above her body she watched him seemingly _refusing_ to get any closer. He appeared to be _observing_ her, relishing in the moment, basically he was doing something out of character…

Gumi had been trailing them the entire time and was waiting for him to kiss Rin so that she could intercede, but he wasn't for some reason, so she stayed away from the couple.

Rin didn't realize this at the time, but Kiyoteru was fighting with himself, trying _not_ to fall in love. It was something he never had difficulty doing before, but he found himself at a crossroads. Kiyoteru wanted to touch her for reasons _other_ than revenge….and it bothered him.

"Kiyoteru….are you okay?" Rin asked sympathetically, raising her hand to caress his cheek.

He jerked when she touched him and he thought, _Fucking god damn-it….get yourself together Kiyoteru! She's just a stupid high school girl, nothing more….all she is to you is a GAME. Remember that Kiyoteru!_

He removed his body from hers and sat on the ground smiling at Rin then suggested, "Hey, I have an idea. How about we go to my house? I've already seen yours, let me show you mine."

She didn't know what Kiyoteru was up to but obliged and they headed for his car.

Gumi called Len and explained, "They left. He didn't try _anything_ on her Len. I don't know why you're so worried. Well I'm done now. I didn't see anything to worry about so _you_ shouldn't either."

After a long pause Len proclaimed, "That's…_incredibly_ suspicious, but thanks for the help anyways Gumi. I won't trouble you with something like this again. Sorry for the nuisance."

"No problem, bye Len."

"Bye…"

**Meanwhile At Kiyoteru's House…**

As soon as Rin stepped inside Kiyoteru's home she was met with instant amazement. High ceilings and marble ebony floors draped every corner of the rooms. Modern black and white furniture decorated the halls, an indoor river wrapped around the edges of his home filled with Koi fish and Asian Bonsai-styled trees littered the outside of his residence.

Rin surveyed his abode peeking around cautiously wondering if she would encounter some of his family. No one appeared to be outside as she gazed through the massive windows of his dwelling.

Kiyoteru noticed Rin's nervousness and illuminated, "You don't _have to be_ anxious. No one is home, no one ever is…"

She threw her head around to look at him and said slowly, "So…...we are _alone_ right now…..in _your_ house…together?"

He chuckled and claimed, "If that makes you unhappy I can drive you home if you'd like Rin."

She grinned at him and clarified, "I've never been alone with a boy in his home before. I know you've given me a lot of 'firsts', but to tell you the truth I'm a _bit_ terrified. I always watch stuff on TV about situations like this."

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to. We can just talk or watch a movie." Kiyoteru suggested.

He then smiled at her softly and thought, _I brought you here so I would gain back my control. I almost lost my ability to manage my impulses at the park. In my domain I'll be able to keep watch on those stupid emotions I was having earlier. If all goes as I had planned…..I'll be able to be inside you fairly soon Rin Kagamine. _

"I know something we can do. If you don't mind can I see pictures of you when you were younger?" Rin inquired gleefully.

"Fine by me." Kiyoteru said then led her upstairs.

Rin encountered accordingly more modern furniture and polished wooden floors. He was _so rich_ that it made her wonder what kind of parents he had who could afford such luxuriousness. Rin stopped walking when she grasped that she was heading for Kiyoteru's room.

He turned back to face her and stated, "Don't be afraid Rin. I won't touch you if you don't want me to."

After his outwardly genuine promise she finally was in his room. Kiyoteru handed her a photo album as she had requested and Rin enthusiastically began to flip through its pages.

Pictures of a young stoic Kiyoteru standing in the middle of _every_ photo filled the pages. A snapshot of him at age five in front of a private school, another at age 10 with a trophy he had won. Kiyoteru had a few prints for every age he has gone through and she noticed that he never smiled and was alone in all photos excluding people in the background.

She stared at him, eyes full of seriousness and said, "Don't you have any pictures with your parents?"

"I have one…but that's it." Kiyoteru replied handing her a Polaroid photo from his wallet.

A man who looked just like Kiyoteru and a woman with red lipstick and long black hair that reached to her waist stood by Kiyoteru's sides at his sixth grade promotion. They were stoic just as he had been in all his photos, the only difference was that in _this _picture…Kiyoteru was smiling childishly, like he had no cares in the world.

"You seem so _happy_ Kiyoteru. Your mother is beautiful by the way, and you look just like your father." Rin proclaimed sweetly.

"Yeah everyone says that. Soooooo, what do you want to do next?" Kiyoteru asked, changing the subject.

Rin gazed at him affectionately and wondered, _I want to know more about you Kiyoteru. That picture….what is your family like? Are they like mine? _

"Let's talk- What's your family like? You already know about my life, what's _yours_ like? I want to know more about you Kiyoteru…" Rin said leaning her body towards his.

"Let's see. I'm an only child, my father is the executive of an ad agency, my mother is a business woman for commercial attire brands. I was raised by housemaids and live-in nannies, my family has one dog, and I live in this big house mostly by myself. Do you want to know more?" Kiyoteru declared, somewhat annoyed.

"Yes….of course unless you don't want to…." Rin stated hesitantly.

Kiyoteru looked at her and thought, _If I tell you anymore than this game I'm playing will become less of a sport and more of a real boyfriend-girlfriend dynamic. If I do that…..the boundary between my revenge and these annoying emotions I've been fighting to suppress will be destroyed. I cannot allow you to impede my plan, you are simply a pawn I need in order to ruin my enemies. _

"Follow me, I'll show you something that will teach you more about me." Kiyoteru proclaimed mysteriously.

She trailed behind him carefully observing his back that was so different from her twin's shoulders. The more she got to know Kiyoteru, the darker his features seemed to her and the sharper his demeanors became. Conversely it was the _exact opposite_ of how she felt with Len. The further she got to know her brother, the softer he happened to be. The closer they became, the more handsome he appeared.

Rin was so lost in her thoughts that before she knew it she was inside a white room with glass windows that reached to the ceilings. Inside was a flurry of paintings, sculptures, and odd-looking furniture.

She turned to gaze at Kiyoteru and say, "All of this…..did you create _all_ of this art?"

"Yes. I've told you before remember? When you're an only child in a house all by your lonesome, you find ways to fill up your hours of leisure time. All of these creations were made out of _pure boredom_." He replied running his hands over one of the sculptures.

"You know, even though you say that, all of these things…..are _gorgeous_. Your mind must be a wonderful place. I can only imagine what kind of stunning things exist in there Kiyoteru….." Rin said almost whispering.

He watched her as she surveyed his works and wondered, _Why do you trust me so easily? I'm going to ruin every fiber of your being and yet you tell me my mind is a 'wonderful place'?_ _I almost feel a semblance of pity for you. Time will only tell whether I can actually feel guilt for you Rin Kagamine, or if vengeance will be so sweet that I forget about you as a casualty in my plotting entirely. _

"My mind isn't as 'wonderful' as you _think_ it is Rin. I am like everyone else…..just with more money." Kiyoteru clarified.

Out of nowhere Rin walked to Kiyoteru and embraced him, his face pushed against her breast. He was so surprised he didn't know what to say, but he didn't have to.

Rin rested her head onto his and whispered tenderly, "Don't try to hide your uniqueness Kiyoteru. I know that you feel pain and loneliness just like all of us. Don't be afraid of your humanity, it's your humanity that makes you beautiful just like your art."

He almost closed his lids and let his shoulders sink into hers but instead he thought, _This is the perfect opportunity to do what I'm dating her for. _

Kiyoteru placed his hands under the ruffles of her ivory dress allowing his fingers into her underwear. Rin jolted as she felt his digits slide her panties down her hips.

She shuddered and fell to the floor, her intimates around her ankles saying breathlessly as she looked up at him, "What…..w-what are you d-doing? You said you wouldn't p-pressure me to do anything I d-didn't want to…."

"I wish to make a painting out of you, I feel _inspired_. Will you let me portray you Rin? I want you see how _I _see you…" Kiyoteru proclaimed, staring at her with eyes full of ardor.

After a long pause she agreed, but the problem was…..she couldn't bring herself to _remove_ her clothes.

Kiyoteru gazed at her and said, "Do you need help removing your attire? Bear in mind Rin, you _don't_ have to do this if you don't want to. You can _still _back out."

"N-no! I….I _want_ to. I just can't s-seem to be able to remove my clothes Kiyoteru. I'm s-sorry, I'm kind of n-nervous that's a-all." Rin announced shakily.

She thought anxiously as she stood trembling before him, _If I do this…I'll be able to get closer to you. I'll get to be inside your imagination, maybe there you'll open up your heart to me….._

They stood facing each other for a moment, neither of them moving until Kiyoteru slowly brought down the straps of her white dress along her peachy shoulders. She felt his rough artist hands run under the pleats of her outfit and against the skin of her stomach as he grasped for some fabric. With a single quick motion he pulled her clothing over her head and placed it onto a counter nearby.

She was only in her underwear now, her panties were back on but she could've been _naked_ for all she cared. Rin was so embarrassed she refused to open her eyes and as a consequence a red tinge enveloped her cheeks. Suddenly she felt him put his thumbs inside the back of her bra preparing to unhinge the clasp…but he paused for while. He knew she wasn't ready for this so he removed his palms…he wasn't going to risk getting _rape charges_.

Kiyoteru noted her humiliation and proclaimed quietly, "I won't ask you to remove your underwear. This is enough. Please sit on that chair over there while I ready my supplies."

With her eyes still shut she blindly sat on the chair, hugging her body tightly wondering if she had made the right choice to volunteer to be his model.

Rin dare not open her gaze, with her eyes closed she felt some likeness of control, however small. If she kept her eyes shut, she wouldn't have to see her mostly naked body and Kiyoteru's reaction to it, in the blackness of her view, she could make believe she was still wearing that ivory dress.

"Okay…I'm ready when you are Rin." Kiyoteru called out to her.

She nodded her head yes and started to hear brush strokes on a canvas commence.

Rin surprisingly felt relaxed knowing he wouldn't be staring at her the entire time, but after a while he stopped making noises so she proclaimed outwards, "Kiyoteru? A-are you still there?"

In Rin's blind refusal to use her vision she unexpectedly felt a hand intertwine with her own and lead her astray from her seat.

"Open your eyes…."Kiyoteru said.

She finally lifted her lids and saw a portrait of herself with her eyes closed and butterflies all around her. She was glowing in the painting, and the silhouette of the butterflies' wings created an artificial shape of her own wings behind her back. At this critical moment she _remembered _something…..something in her memories she had never seen before: a house with an _indigo roof_ and _yellow shudders_.

"So what do you think?" Kiyoteru proclaimed breaking her from her haze.

"It's _astonishing_! It really _does_ look like me! -Though I must admit, I don't feel as _pretty_ as I look in your painting Kiyoteru…" Rin confessed modestly.

"That is because the _most attractive_ of women do not recognize their own _loveliness_…" he explained in a low seductive voice.

Her boyfriend leaned forward and the rims of his glasses almost touched her nose, as a result making her realize he was trying for another kiss again.

Instead of reciprocating the affection she could only stutter back the first thing she thought in her head, "I…..I should g-get dressed….."

After an awkward goodbye Rin slumped down the front door of her house wondering why she had been so weird with him that day….

With her back resting on the entrance of her home she contemplated, _When he dropped me off, he didn't try to kiss me again like he usually does…I feel terrible for not returning his feelings. I wanted too, but that weird vision I had of that house was bothering me. It looked so familiar that it frightened me….why?_

Out of the blue Len came downstairs to sit cross-legged in front of her. He appeared laid-back about Kiyoteru and her meeting for a date that day which perplexed her. Previously even the _mention_ of his name made Len furious, now he seemed to be _okay_ with it.

Len smiled softly and said, "Soooooo…how was your date? Anything interesting happen?"

"Not really….except Kiyoteru showed me a bunch of his artworks. He even drew a portrait of me. He said he'd give me the finished version within a few weeks." Rin replied, her face somewhat troubled.

"Hey…..what's _wrong_? You come across as being upset. Was it something he did?" Len asked, his eyes full of sudden anxiety.

_If that douche tried to touch you I will GLADLY go to jail for murder….._Len thought biting back an angry face.

"No! He was _perfect_, it's _me _who has the problem. When he showed me the portrait he made of myself…it made me think of something weird…" Rin quickly stated.

"Like what?" Len questioned anxiously.

"I don't know….just some house." Rin answered back.

"The appearance of that house…the roof is indigo and the shudders are yellow…_aren't they_?" Len proclaimed sternly.

He watched his sister's eyes widen, then she mumbled, "How…how did you _know_?"

Before he answered he reflected quite seriously, _Sorry Rin…..but_ _I'm going to have to lie to you again. If I need to recall these 'memories' that the faceless girl has told me I've forgotten, I need to do it alone. If the memory I recollect is dangerous….I would rather bear all that weight on my lone shoulders than share it with your fragile ones._

Len beamed at her foolishly and declared, hiding his seriousness, "_NO WAY_! I guessed right on the _first try_?!"

She frowned at him and muttered heading to her room, "Don't think you're so cool, that was just pure dumb luck you guessed right! Well…..I'm going to bed now, I'm too tired to talk Len *Yawns*."

He watched his twin's petite figure disappear from view and thought, _Nothing is ever REALLY a coincidence….is it? Well…at least not in my dreams they aren't. I hope for your sake Rin that whatever I find out….won't hurt you. If that's the case….then I'd rather be ignorant for the rest of my life…. _

**A/N: Finally! School is so hectic that I actually have to write in between breaks when I have the time (that is if I don't have a ton of homework which sadly I DO).**

**I've noticed that chapters I've posted with potentially smutty names have been read the most on my traffic stats. Well sorry to disappoint some of you, but this story isn't **_**quite**_** as lewd as you might've thought. **

**Regardless of this I hope you still appreciate reading it despite the lack of R rated content**.** The artist who did the cover to my story is the deviant user 315lVl4-J who's my classmate. She has a new D.A. so take a stroll by her page when you have the time. She draws vocaloid which I know you all love. **

**Anyways please review and see you next time!**** (^_^)**


	13. Chapter 13: Her Most Sacred Places

**Chapter 13: Her Most Sacred Places**

A new day had dawned and Len stirred with a mind full of thoughts...thoughts no one else in the entire world was even close to thinking. They were ponderings that should've been left unknown.

As he lay flopped onto his bed he wondered, _Rin is part of my missing memories...isn't she? I want to know now more than ever what they are, but I'm so scared…...so god damn scared….._

Suddenly, a knock resounded on his door. He stretched upwards to find his mother throw a tie at his face stating, "It's Sunday honey-bun. You know the drill."

Yes, on most Sundays the Kagamine's went to church to hear the gospel of a god their children didn't believe in. -A God who (despite Len's beliefs) had a coincidental preaching to chant this particular weekend.

**Church & Mere Chance…**

"You may sit now." The Preacher declared, chest pushing forward, his hands lifting.

The Kagamine's sat along with the rest of their religious community on cold hard chairs. Len gazed around at the hopeless people he thought to be church folk. They prayed to a man who would never fulfill their wishes. The only person who could really do that was one's self. Due to that Len found it foolish how good people would so easily waste their time in buildings where it was overcrowded, smelly, and uncomfortable.

He may have scorned the people, but the sermon today would be a speech he could by no means disregard...

"My children! I have a story that we can all relate to.-Wanting something…we cannot have. We all know of this temptation, and we have all seen it's ugliness in ourselves. Children of God let me tell you the story of Ann and Laurence." The Preacher began.

Len could only grimace at the sermon then glance at his sister wondering what she was thinking. But the next lines the priest spat became lines that would haunt Len until his death.

"They loved each other like no one had ever loved another being before. They grew up together, they matured together, and became adults before they even realized it." The Preacher proclaimed, his voice heavy with passion.

Promptly after such words Rin stared dotingly at Len and clutched his hand gently as the parson wove his tale.

"However...the two could never be. They were brother and sister: of the same seed and soil! They were cursed you see. In a past life they lied a great deal, and as punishment from God, a man who looks down on lies, those sinners would be born as lovers and siblings for the rest of their lives. They would live a short painful time on earth and die in woe. Their love was to be forever spurned by all….and their journey to death an excruciatingly torturous one..." The Preacher declared.

Len couldn't believe it, it was like their priest was talking specifically to him. He wanted so badly to vomit. Instead a knot in his throat emerged and he stood up from the church benches to step outside, his sister's petite hand being pushed away from his own.

He ripped off his tie and threw it onto the asphalt of the church parking lot muttering loudly, "It's like the whole fucking world wants to expose my disgusting excuse for a human being! Why am I like this?! Why does it have to be me of all people who has to feel this way!?"

Meanwhile his twin who was still in church began to swallow hard too. The preacher made long eye contact with her and it almost made her piss her pants. She didn't understand why she was so afraid, so paranoid of the minster all of a sudden. Her eyes darted back and forth at the people around her fretfully. Everyone was staring at her, at least she felt like they were (although it was all in her head).

She stood up to go the ladies room, but her mother pushed her back into her seat clarifying, "Sweetie, only one person at a time. You're brother isn't back yet..."

_That's right_, Rin thought_, Len is my BROTHER. Why am I getting so nervous? I haven't done anything wrong...It's not like our situation is the exact same as the people in the story. I've got a boyfriend and Len has a girlfriend. We are normal teenagers. We are normal…_

Rin reassured herself enough to sit beside her mother once more, but The Preacher wasn't done with his sermon yet.

Their Priest walked towards the churchgoers proclaiming thunderously, "Eventually it became too much for the sinners! They committed 'the final act' and they were sentenced to 1000 years in the blistering depths of hell until they were to be reborn again….only for them to repeat this vicious cycle. The point of this story is to illuminate to you that sins will not be taken lightly in the afterlife. God is merciful….but he is also pitiless. Your actions will determine your fate, but he has a plan for all of us, and if we brake it….._wewillrepent_."

The churchgoers all simultaneously resounded 'amen' and began to sit.

As soon as he finished Rin leapt from her seat and out into the hallway running towards the ladies room. There she found a nice porcelain toilet...and threw up all over it. Her throat burned and tears streamed down her face as she wondered why her body was reacting so horribly.

She hadn't done anything illegal in her entire life, (at least not yet) but buried in her soul she knew why she was so sick to her stomach. It was because she wanted to have her own twin inside her. In this pivotal moment she became aware of it…

_No NO NOOOO! It's not right! This can't be happening right now! It's just my imagination isn't it?! This isn't really how I feel! _Rin screamed in her thoughts maniacally.

She stared at her dress, the pearl fabric became desecrated by her tears and sweat. Rin was a complete and utter mess. She no longer portrayed that pretty girl everyone always glanced at. She gazed at herself in the bathroom mirror and wondered who that strange creature was staring back at her with the untidy face. The girl in the mirror appeared lonely and distraught making her wonder, _I don't know who I am anymore….who…who have I become…..?_

A voice drawled through her thoughts murmuring, _Riiiiin's a monsterrrrr. You're disgustinggggg._

"NO! I AM NOT FILTHY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Rin screamed frantically aloud.

The voice persisted and proclaimed, _Rin is going to hellllll. God does not forgive sinnerssss._

Rin could not reply back to her conscience (fearing she was going insane), but she would remain for the rest of the sermon inside the ladies room. Len on the other hand (angered by the priest's story) decided to stay outside the building until the oration finished.

**Inside Her Room…**

The Kagamine's returned from the house of worship ignorant of their children's actions. Everything became like it was on most days: their father would start cooking steaks on the grill outside as their mother flipped through TV channels looking for something to watch.

Their mother stopped when a commercial came up on TV about Halloween costumes and she stated, "Oh, that reminds me. Are you kids going to dress up for Halloween this year?"

"I'm going to be a fairy this year Mom!" Rin chimed happily, slumping onto the couch beside her.

In that very moment Len remembered the dream he had of Fairy-Rin, the faceless girl, and the massive birdcage they were all in. Everything seemed to be interconnected to him, like it was all part of some enormous plan.

He bit the tip of his thumb as he contemplated, _It's like I'm cursed! My dreams are becoming a part of my realities. I don't know if this is just happenstance or if I'm seeing unrelated things as intertwined because I'm mentally ill….._

"Len-what're you going to be this year?" Rin asked grinning at him, her faint dimples peeking through her cheeks.

"I don't know. I'll probably just go to Disneyland or Universal Horror Nights with my friends or something…" Len replied looking at the ground.

That very same day Rin left with their mother to go shopping for her costume. This gave Len the perfect opportunity to poke around inside her room for more evidence on his forgotten memories.

He entered her quarters on silent footsteps (knowing that his father was still inside their home) treading lightly on his feet. He right away went to her art folders and began to file through the pages.

Oddly enough Len did find more evidence. It truthfully wasn't just chance that Rin was illustrating things from his nightmares. The grassy fields from Len's dreams were in many of her drawings and most of them…..were drawn portraying a sunset, just as they had been in his mind. His hand's shuddered as he struggled to place the papers back in order and take only the few he needed (making sure he didn't take too much from her collections or she'd notice).

Len had five of her sketches now: one of the house with the indigo roof and yellow shudders, three of the grassy fields, and one of the butterfly with the scarred wing. He located everything back in their correct places and went to his room to write down some notes on his findings creating a 'map' of sorts.

Whilst back in his room, he abruptly remembered that he had to tilt one of her folders to its sides as he had seen it when he took it out (but had forgotten to) so he returned to her room.

There he tilted the folder in the angle he had seen (making sure everything appeared untouched), but just as he was about to leave, Len heard Rin walking down the hallway. Instantaneous panic flooded his veins. Would this be a repeat of his experience with Luka and Gakupo that horrible night? Yes…...in fact it was….

Like he had done before Len dove for the sliding closet and attempted to close it, but just like last time….he was just too damn slow. There was a two inch space where he could see everything, and akin to that prior incident he could not close his eyes, or rather, did not want to…..

Len saw his sister toss her pale green fairy costume onto her bed and begin to remove her clothes. Rin hadn't turned on her light to undress, but the radiance from the dying sun that evening was just enough for him to see the fair skin on her body as she stripped.

Currently in her underwear, his mostly nude sister mumbled as she read the tag on her outfit, "Hmmm...it says built-in bra and panties, hand-wash only. I guess I can't wear any of _these _while I'm in it can I?"

Her slender arms pulled her panties down her ankles and a quick flash of her privates hit his eyes. He wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight, not without touching himself. The wall that stopped him from wanking off to his sister had disappeared. He had seen her most sacred places, and it drove him madly insane with desire...

She unhooked her bra and her petite breasts became freed from their hold. Rin was as naked as the day she was born, and Len couldn't possibly help but feel the need to surrender to his thirst for her…He allowed his body to gain….an erection.

This was it….he could not un-see something so beautiful. Everything he had ever sought after was displaying itself before his very eyes, and he loved it. Len's heart pounded so thunderously he was sure Rin might hear it through the closet door. His body trembled with such exhilaration that he felt lightheaded, but the euphoria from just seeing her…..vulnerable like this was just pure ecstasy.

He didn't care if was going to hell anymore, nothing would stop him now. The last piece of mystery between them was gone. How she looked like exposed was no longer unknown to him, thus the last semblance of his morality had faded along with it...

Len fought to keep his hands away from the buttons keeping his boxers closed. What was merely a few minutes for Rin as she dressed into her costume seemed like hours to Len. Everything was in slow motion: the sway of her hips as she turned to pull the dress over herself, the pink of her nipples rocking gently as she walked, the bend of her waist as it created the tiny hourglass that was her figure, he could only think one thing…...perfection.

_You….are…flawless…..Rin….._was all he could think as he gazed at her, and then she was gone….

Rin had left the room to show off her costume to their mother downstairs.

Out of breath and shaky, Len unsteadily walked to his room. Once inside he locked his door quietly and sat on his bed. He slowly brought down his trousers revealing a boner that was so stiff it touched his stomach.

He gradually let his hands fumble for the shaft of his dick and began to rhythmically pleasure himself thinking about his twin sister. Len spasmed as the first seconds of contact with his skin sent jolts up his spine making him involuntarily gasp outwards. Len allowed his palm to pump his cock while his free hand covered his mouth in an attempt to stifle his rough breathing. He started to stroke his foreskin up and down as he imagined himself to be fucking Rin in his bed. He positioned himself so that he was now on top of a pillow, and suddenly that pillow became his sister, Rin. Her body was as bare as he'd seen her just moments ago...

His imaginary sister smiled at him and uplifted her arms whispering tenderly, "I want you inside of me Len. Please come into me…so that we can be whole again."

He obeyed and rubbed his dick against the pillow pretending he was within her. It felt so real that it scared him. If it felt that good just imagining her, what kind of crazy orgasm would he get if he actually did have sex with Rin?

He let his rod rub against the fabric at a constant speed and make-believe Rin began to moan short cries of satisfaction as he rode her. He could feel his cock begin to throb intensely while inside his pelvis the veins started to palpitate. Len breathed hoarsely as he quickened somewhat...but pretend Rin wasn't content.

Make-believe Rin drooled as she muttered dazedly, "Go…g-go faster…..I can h-handle it. I want to feel your b-body within m-me. I want you to t-tear me a-apart."

He abided by her commands and increased his pace, but it was too much for Len. The friction between his waist and the fabric made him climax and the root of his penis commenced to violently throb.

He quaked uncontrollably letting his lower torso sink into imaginary Rin who gasped lustfully, "C-cum inside me! D-don't pull o-out! We are finally o-one person! Nnnnn yessss!"

Out of nowhere the stars exploded in the sky and Len threw his head backwards as he stammered dazedly, "Ahhhhhghhh…f-fuck…nnnnnnn. Holy s-shit! I'm c-cumming…d-damn it…..aghhhh f-fuck I'm c-cumming!"

He collapsed onto pretend Rin and she turned back into a pillow, his semen splattered all over the bedding fabric. Len allowed his body to rest a little before putting on some fresh boxers, removing his dirty sheets, and getting back into bed.

For a long time he just looked up at the ceiling. Finally he thought, arm resting on his forehead, _It was inevitable wasn't it? A love like this…however wrong…..is something I cannot ignore. If there is a god out there, he surely won't forgive me. I'm so sorry Rin….my image of you has been sullied by my own hand, I am so fucking sorry. Please god, if you can hear me….please don't drag her into hell with me…..let me take the guilt alone…._

Despite the pleasure he had experienced, regardless of feeling complete and utter euphoria during that 'act', tears began to stream down his face and accordingly howls of his weeping followed. His cries echoed against the blue walls of his room and into the hallway.

Rin who had gotten back into normal sleeping clothes, headed for the bathroom to get a brush for her hair when she heard crying emanating from nearby. His sister stopped what she was doing to run to his quarters, only to find that the door was locked.

She shook the knob a few times and stated anxiously, "Len? Are you okay in there? Would you please open the door?"

He threw his head up to gaze at the entrance of his room and muttered, "G-go away! L-leave me a-alone Rin!"

"No! Let me in Len! Tell me what's wrong… It's better to just let it out rather than allowing it to fester inside…" Rin kept on, her head resting on his door.

"Shhhhhhh! Do you want our parents t-to go upstairs?" Len whispered loudly.

"Don't worry about them. Dad forgot to buy rice for dinner so they went out for some. Len….please open the door. I know you want to tell me what it is." Rin cooed, her voice coming out fuzzy through the wall.

After a long pause she heard him unlock the doorknob, and there she found him…..eyes red full of regret. The whites of his pupils were inflamed and a rosy nose and cheeks adorned his defeated expression. He looked terrible, like someone had died or his dog had just passed away. She gazed at this unfamiliar person before her and raised her hand to caress the side of his watery stricken face.

Without her even asking Len replied, clasping her hand against his cheek, "I've l-lost to m-myself Rin….I'm s-sick in the h-head! I don't want to f-feel like t-this….it isn't n-normal!"

She drew their bodies together and rubbed his back soothingly as she whispered, "It's okay Len….don't be afraid….why do you feel like this….like you aren't normal? Tell me….don't be scared…..I won't tell anyone…."

"It's because I'm in love with you!" he shouted abruptly.

Rin's eyes widened and she refused to speak. After a long pause she proclaimed turning her head away from him, "I love you too Len…."

Len's gaze broadened and he grabbed her face with both his hands aggressively forcing their heads close together as he screamed, "It's not the same type of love I have for you Rin! Don't you see?! The love I have for you is polluted_…_I am fucking polluted! I AM THE SCUM OF THIS PLANET!"

**A/N: If you have a good sad instrumental song it's best to play it right now readers! But if you don't here's my suggestion:**** Hans Zimmer - In Love on YouTube: watch?v=8CyqXmHjGTI**

She pushed her hands on Len's chest separating their bodies from each other and said unevenly, "Len y-you're scaring me. I…I don't understand…."

"Then please…just understand _this_…" Len declared almost silently.

In that moment….he brought his sister's lips to his own….and they kissed….

The tears from his face became sprawled onto his sister's skin as they unwillingly breathed each other in. Sorrow from his heart transferred into her soul, their chests melding together…..

The heavens split open as a new love was born, and both of them recognized that somewhere in the universe….something was being birthed into existence…

Len brought his hand to her waist allowing their abdomens to caress for a moment before he bound the seal between them, leaving not a single space amid their figures. He could feel Rin's eyelashes touch his flesh as he dug his mouth further into her own savoring the feel of her soft female tongue. She did not move…she did not actively return the kiss….but he knew that she felt something there….because her light tremble beneath his fingertips did not go unnoticed…

He explored the cavern of her mouth further whilst the tremor of their heartbeats synchronized to the sway of their bodies as they continued. The tiny hairs all over their skin stood up and a gentle friction resulted as Len ran his lips over Rin's petite mouth. He pulled her bottom lip outwards with his teeth making her involuntarily gasp outwards allowing him the opportunity to be invade her further. He encircled her tongue with his own, and when he felt her to be pulling away…..…he used his other hand to force the back of her head back onto his lips so that she could not escape.

He flicked at her tongue with his and marked her body with light kisses all over her mouth. Their shoulders pressed against one another's as their lips became one entity. Len was so engulfed in their kiss that he did not even notice tears beginning to stream down her face. He was selfish, and so he persisted ignorant of Rin's distress. Len pressed his crotch against her groin and the deeper he kissed Rin, the further he dug his pelvis into her most sacred place. The cloth between their delicates was barely enough to separate them from going all the way….but he couldn't think less about it. He only wanted her to recognize that he would no longer be just her twin brother anymore. That he had to have her at any cost….even if it meant losing her innocent love…..

Len wanted her to know how much he loved her….and how painful it was for him to feel this way. In his mad lust for his younger twin sister he bit her lips hard this time. Rin's muffled shriek was ignored. He squeezed her waist even more as she struggled to squirm out of his grasp. The more she fought him, the increasingly cruel he became.

But he didn't care…..he had to make her know that longing had been eating away at him in his dreams, in his waking life, and also in his nightmares….

Nothing in the room existed anymore….it was just the two of them against the world alone in this minuscule space that was their home, and before they knew it…the kiss was done.

Their lips separated and the cataclysmic reaction that was the first reciprocal kiss ended in a violent explosion of yearning that dissolved from their starry-glazed eyes…

Rin stood up from his lap….and left his room, not saying a word or looking at him _even once_. She closed her bedroom door and immediately fell to her knees, her head resting on the carpet floor. She began to sob hysterically dirtying her face even more and down the hall her brother could hear her wails of anguish.

With his back resting on a wall he gazed outside his window at the stars and thought, _I couldn't protect her after all. I couldn't save my sister…..…from myself. Her horrified face told me everything I needed to know about her feelings…_

_She doesn't love me…..she doesn't love me…...she doesn't love me…..…_

**A/N: How did you feel about Len & Rin in this chapter or about the morality of their secret feelings for each other? Also, did you like my ambient music suggestion/did you find it annoying? **

**As for the clues, everything I write is a clue, and I mean **_**everything. **_**I don't put something in the story if I don't need it to move their relationship forward or the mystery of Len's memories.**

**Like all writers, I draw my characters from parts of myself and my own past/dreams. My parents were pretty religious growing up so I figured like most U.S. Americans (especially based on my countries' history), why not make the Kagamine's too? It would make it more relatable for many readers.**

**I decided to go in a different route with Len because a teenage guy isn't such a pussy (pardon me) like many female writers draw him out to be. I dislike the idea of him being a shota because when I was 14, I was pretty tall already, so I made him 17 instead to match his appearance.**

**He's in the midst of his teens, he isn't **_**completely **_**helpless...right? Why not make him older and more applicable to us people who **_**have **_**to get old (at least in age)? We all age, which is why I wanted to show how he matured and became a man/what choices he made to get there.**

**Hopefully you liked their kiss scene. I was trying to differentiate it from LenxNeru and RinxKiyoteru, this is REAL love…not an **_**almost **_**love. I hope I got this message across.**

**Thanks for reading and please review!**** ;)**


	14. Chapter 14: Bloody Palms, Broken Hearts

**Chapter 14: Bloody Palms, Broken Hearts**

Len knew what he did would destroy his relationship with his twin sister...but he could not control himself. The carrying capacity of his emotions for her had long overflowed, and now he was paying the price.

Observing the stars did not help him forget his sinful actions and he illuminated, _I need to repent. I want her to know…that I'm sorry...I want Rin to know how remorseful I am. I've become…immoral...I have to….no…..I NEED to bleed away my shame. Jesus Christ...please…..help me ease my pain...if you do exist…._

In a moment of pure stress and desperation he opened his desk drawers searching for a safety pin or just something sharp in general. He had found one...

With trembling hands he lifted the pin to his arms and thought, _If I can just bleed it out….maybe it will all go away. With any luck I can drain my corrupt feelings gone and all will be like it was before I tarnished my most precious someone…_

He recognized that if he were to slice open his wrists that people would notice….and naturally they'd ask why. If he told them his reasons….if they _only knew_ what disgusting thoughts he carried….he would lose all his friends.

No one was going to side with someone who wanted to practice _INCEST_….no one….

Len surveyed his build and found some open skin where not a single person would ever look or see. At the top of his thighs where his boxers were usually covering his flesh, Len started to slowly etch tiny stitches into his body. He gritted his teeth in pain as he dug open a wound and blood commenced to seep out, and although the pain stung him….he was instantaneously relieved of his inner torment.

A deep sigh of a thousand troubles were freed from his lungs as he exhaled outwards. He lay sitting by his bedside for a while when the stinging abruptly became more noticeable. Len gazed cautiously downwards at his self-injury and unbeknownst to him he had branded a _cross_ near his lower-v. Immediate horror filled up the void that was emptied in his blood…..and he discerned that he was being chastised for his sins.

**In A Never-ending Daze...**

Nothing seemed to have color anymore, everything was pallid and gray. The world to Len Kagamine had become a sort of purgatory for him. It was an _almost _hell, where the only person he cared about pretended that he didn't even exist.

Their parents did not notice anything odd because they were at work when their kids were home. Friends did not see a difference due to the fact that the twins fronted confident lies. Only the two of them knew the _poisonous _secret they both shared….and it ate away at the fibers of their very souls.

"Hey Len! Do you want strawberry or banana?" Neru asked upbeat as she held the smoothies in front of him.

He looked at her apathetically and answered, "Whichever one….it doesn't matter to me…."

In the back of his mind he was thinking, _Nothing matters anymore. I have destroyed an innocence that cannot be restored…._

"Here! You get the banana, since you're _blonder_ than me." Neru giggled huddling closer to Len as she sat.

As he sipped his lunch desert he gazed across the cafeteria at Rin and her friends. They were all laughing, each of her companions were completely naïve of Rin's troubles. They had no idea that her twin brother had defiled her and they could not see that behind her dimpled grin lay grief beyond recognition.

**At The Girl's Lunch Table…**

Miku ran around the lunch table declaring, "Guess what! Guess what!"

Meiko frowned at her and asked, "_What _Miku?"

"Kaito and I are going to the same college! We applied a while back and got early entrance!" Miku announced, eyes sparking elatedly.

Rin stared at her pig-tailed friend and realized, _Oh yeah...college is getting near. I don't know if Len and I can face each other anymore...let alone go to college together._

School went around like usual and no one noticed anything that was 'off' except for the perspective Gumi of course.

During phys-ed Gumi noticed that Rin seemed lost, like she wasn't present with them at the moment, almost as if she were just a body with her mind somewhere else.

"You okay Rin? I say that because you look _really _troubled. Do you wanna' talk about it?" Gumi asked kindly.

Rin raised her head from staring at the ground and stated, "Wha-? I look troubled?"

"Yeah...you look like something is bothering you. You can tell me what it is if you think it will make you feel better Rin." Gumi persisted, smiling a little.

Rin stared at her friends: Meiko, Luka, and Miku who were all playing double-dutch and screaming like idiots. She knew they would never understand her problems….that they would never see how much inner-torment she was going through, but she turned to look at Gumi whose green eyes only reflected honesty...

After she swallowed hard Rin asked, "Do you think love is love even if it's taboo? Like with an older person and a younger person. Or...or a teacher with a student, maybe a patient and their doctor, or possibly..._maybe_ step-siblings or first cousins..."

Gumi's eyes widened and she proclaimed, "To be honest, as long as it doesn't break the law or hurt anyone why not? People sometimes just know when someone is 'the one' you know? Why deny something that can happen only once in a lifetime?-Twice if you're lucky."

Rin stared into the distance and said quietly, "What if their love…is going to send them to hell? I...I only say this because my preacher was talking about a story like this in church recently...and it got me thinking about the morality of their relationship."

"Like I said...as long as it doesn't break the law like hmmm for example...a father and his biological kid, then why not? That's a perfect instance in where it breaks _both_ rules: hurting people, the kid in this case, and breaking the law." Gumi clarified.

"I see...thanks for your advice. I feel clearer about what I was thinking now. Thank you Gumi." Rin exclaimed positively.

The Last School Bell rang and students began filing out of rooms in a slow lethargic manner. Rin sat in a different seat from her twin brother on the train their entire way home.

This was the only way they could deal with each other at the moment….._avoidance_. The awkwardness was so stifling that it was killing Len bit by bit, tormenting him to the point of wanting to die….and he really did want to die….

Whenever even a semblance of wanting to touch himself as he thought of Rin came up, he would slash open his flesh. And Len had done this so many times he had lost count….

By his lower-v dozens of tiny etches darted his skin, but it felt _good_ to him….it was a sign that he as repaying his debt to society. An eye for an eye, physical pain for his mental sinning concerning his sister.

Another session of self injury had just finished and Len stared down his stomach at the sides of his hips. They were ruined: tiny scarred crosses plagued his skin now, he wasn't sure if he could sleep with someone knowing they would see…..that he was a cutter.

A lot of blood was lost, and he delved into his dream world once more.

"Wake up…..it is time to wake up." A voice echoed ghostly.

He opened his gaze and found himself sleeping in shallow waters….of crimson blood. Len raised his hands from the beach ocean that surrounded him and found that his hands were also dirtied by the red ink.

_It's a sign_, Len realized, _that I should probably stop cutting myself. But…..I can't stop…..how else am I supposed to purge the vile feelings that I hold within me? I need to be punished for my sins….for corrupting Rin….._

"Cutting yourself is not going to solve anything…" the faceless girl declared.

She stood before him walking on the ruby sea like she was a _god_ of sorts.

He looked up at her and grinded his teeth proclaiming, "_YOU_! It's all _YOUR _FAULT! If you hadn't made me choose! -If you didn't make me realize that I loved her! I…..I COULD'VE BEEN HAPPY!"

"Do not blame me for your inability to control your emotions. I warned you did I not? I specifically told you one option will lead to your demise, but did you listen?-No….now the only girl you love will not even look at you…" the faceless girl avowed.

Out of nowhere she tugged at his arm and dragged him out of the scarlet ocean.

"LET GO OF ME! DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" Len shouted attempting to push her off.

"SILENCE!" the featureless girl yelled.

He became quiet. Len had never heard her scream before, and was stunned to hear that when she yelled, _multiple_ voices synchronized with her own: his parent's voices and an unknown man's.

"What…_are_ you?" he asked dumbfounded.

"I told you before: I am all that you desire in any mold you wish me to present to you." She replied.

"Don't lie to me! I heard different people's voices when you yelled! What was _that_?! Explain to me!" he said loudly.

"Follow me then and shut your mouth. Listen and observe closely, because your mind is opening at the moment. Parts of something lost are being found right now….so you need to remember what you see…..now _watch_." The faceless girl proclaimed.

She pointed to the shore of the scarlet sea and there he saw his old neighborhood. They walked over the water and arrived to his home. On his old porch he spotted a few faceless children playing with what looked to be two five year olds: a little Rin and Len.

He was just about to say something when she motioned for him to keep his mouth closed. Out of the blue one of the children walked away and disappeared. Then all of them faded away….and only tiny Rin and Len were left playing on the street.

_What the hell? What is that noise?_ Len wondered as a tremulous thundering sound began to resound throughout the neighborhood.

Without warning an enormous bird cage landed on little Rin and Len and trapped them inside it. Len couldn't just watch from the sidelines and ran to his younger self and his younger sister's sides. When he tried to help them, his arms went right through their bodies.

"Let me help them!" he yelled towards faceless girl.

"I cannot, they are only figments of a memory, not actual people living right now that you know. They are past versions of yourself and your sister….thus they no longer exist in the present world." The faceless girl explained.

Len ignored her and tried to assist the two children anyways. His arms sunk right through their bodies once more and finally after several useless attempts, he gave up. He watched as the birdcage decreased in size until younger Rin and Len became crushed by it.

He looked away and shut his eyes as he heard their screams of horror increase until they stopped…and then there was only silence. Len tread carefully towards the cul-de-sac in the street they were playing in. When he opened his eyes to look inside the birdcage, instead of finding their petite splattered bodies he saw gold and silver butterflies.

Suddenly he felt a small hand grab at his. Len gazed downwards and saw little Rin smile up at him and declare, "Wanna' see something pretty?"

He turned back to look at the faceless girl and stated, "I thought you said that they didn't exist. If that's true, then why can they talk to me?"

"Your mind has made them temporarily authentic for the time being. They are not truly people….but at least now they are tangible." She clarified.

Len turned back to child Rin and grinned softly, then he proclaimed, "Sure. What is it that you wanted to show me?"

She led him down the street while five year old Len skipped in front of them. Eventually they reached a house. It was that home with an _indigo_ roof and _yellow_ shudders. Len froze as he watched little Rin go inside with child Len. He could not follow them inside, he was too petrified.

He was so scared that his dream-scape actually _changed_.

All of a sudden he was falling and everything had become the horizon. There was no ground, no true sky, and the entirety of his reality turned into an endless void of blue atmosphere.

The faceless girl had disappeared, she had abandoned him to plummet forever, and just when he began not to care anymore…..just when he started to stop screaming…he landed on something.

Len fell onto a ground concealed by mattresses. For miles and miles on end all there was were white mattresses and pillows.

He was just so _confused_, so he stood up on wobbly feet and cried out, "WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUU? I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME FACELESS GIRL! -WHERE DID YOU GO?!"

She did not answer him, instead Dream-Rin came up from behind him and said, "She's not going to answer you. She has limited abilities you know. She's restrained by the same rules that all _Reverie Beings_ have. -And that is being controlled by their host, that host is you Len. Even though you may not be aware of it, all of your dreams are things you can control, although it may not be directly."

He turned around and gazed at her then asked, "Okay then. Since you know so much…..I have a question to ask for you. Each time I dream of Rin….is every Rin I see a _different _Rin or can they be continuous? Like are you the same as Fairy-Rin or are you separate from her?"

Dream-Rin smiled at him softly and explained, "I only exist once….and then I'm gone. Whenever you see another version of your sister….she's a _new_ version even if they have the same memories, the same clothes, the same personality and so on. So let's say you meet Fairy-Rin again. Even if you think she's the same one you talked to a few days ago, she's a whole different imagination. Dreams can be continuous, but the specifics within them are always new."

"So you're telling me once I wake up…you'll disappear _forever_?" Len answered rather surprised.

"That is correct." Dream-Rin stated.

Len stared at her more intensely now and proclaimed, "I'm sorry that it has to be that way. What about with the faceless girl. Is she a new version each time I meet her?"

"That's different. She's a reminiscence not made by your own mind. She is someone _real_ even if it means she's been created by parts of singular people put together. She's not like me. I'm made up from your imagination, so once you wake up I'll expire." Dream-Rin clarified.

He stared at her some more and thought,_ Even though I've made you up. Do you have feelings? Can you experience pain like I do or are just part another part of my thoughts? _

"Can I ask you a question?" Len announced abruptly.

"You don't have to ask. You created me, I'll obey regardless." Dream-Rin said.

"If I touch you, will you feel it?" he said nearly in a whisper.

"No….but you can touch me if you still want to. I'm a physical individual, but I'm not human….so 'touch' to _me_ does not exist. If this is your way of releasing your affections for your twin sister, than I will oblige." Dream-Rin made clear.

Wither her approval Len put his hand on her wrist and turned it over, observing what looked like _genuine_ blood pulsing under her skin. He swiftly lifted his hand to touch her cheek. It was warm and smooth, just like his sister's. He didn't know if having sex in his dream would make him want Rin more or less. If he was already getting what he wanted in his dreams, why would he need her in real life too?

But the thing is, he wanted her _mentally _not just physically, so he proclaimed, "It's not the same. I want the body I'm touching to only be hers. I want _her_ lips, _her _voice, _her_ real figure under my fingertips…..I want Rin's _true_ self. I can't do it with a cheap replica. I've done that once before and it's made her hate me. I know what I have to do."

"-What? Make your sister love you?" the faceless girl asserted from behind him.

"Go away, this is _my _mind! You can't control me!" He shouted.

"She will never love you. And even if she did love you, you're love would be contaminated in more than one way. You were tarnished _before_ you loved her, and you'll be tarnished after you've loved her." The faceless girl decreed.

Len's azure eyes broadened as he asked, "What do you mean I was tarnished _before _I loved her? I thought the only reason I'm dirty now was because I started to fall in love with my own twin sister."

"Well…wouldn't you like to know the reasons for this?" a masculine voice drawled all around him.

A dark ominous shadow cast itself over his own shadow and he whipped his head around to see a large faceless _man_.

**A/N: I experienced my first writer's block this week! I didn't want to give too many clues and I was stuck on trying to see whether I should end "The Start Of Something Sinister" after around Chapter 30 and Epilogue or to keep going. I TRULY need your feedback on this. **

**Thanks to everyone who's been keeping up till now! I know how crazy it is to be taking full classes with midterms every other week, and that doesn't even include jobs and sports afterschool.**** 0_o**

**I've seen a lot of heated reviews and to be honest, they make me wonder why you take my story so seriously. I literally just write what comes out of my head and submit. But don't get me wrong, I REALLY appreciate the reviews! Just relax a little yeah? These are stated to the few who get a little too passionate when they comment *coughs*.**

**Well I threw in my two cents. Feel free to ask questions about "The Start Of Something Sinister" (not the unwritten chapters though, b/c I won't tell you).**

**Thanks for reading and please review!**** (^o^)**


	15. Chapter 15: Goodbye Almost Paramour

**Ch 15: Goodbye Almost Paramour...**

Len was so terrified that he actually woke up in a cold sweat.

He remained in his room dazed for a while, his head resting on the back of his arms wondering, _That's the second time now that I've seen him. The other time was when I thought the faceless girl was Neru and he shot her from behind in the skull. Is he a legit person or is he someone I made up too?_

He abruptly cringed. Len didn't realize that by lifting his arms, he had opened his newly sealed scabs around his hips.

"Fuck that hurts." he muttered wearily.

The blood was enough that it actually stained his t-shirt.

"How the hell am I going to get this blood out?" Len stated slightly annoyed.

As he was figuring out a way to hide both his wounds and the stains in his shirt, Rin (who was just down the hall) was experiencing grave contemplation.

His twin (who now slept in short paranoid intervals) was thinking as she had just woken up from another one of her short naps, _I've thought about it for a long time. It needs to be done. I can't see any other way to go on like this. I'm sorry Kiyoteru...but we have to break up. I can't keep pretending that it's alright to date someone who I don't love enough to do so. I'm a terrible person. I hope you'll forgive me someday..._

**I Hope You'll Still Be My Friend...**

She had made up her mind. Rin Kagamine had decided that she was going to break it off with Kiyoteru this particular Wednesday. She only prayed that he wouldn't take it badly. Boy was she in for a surprise.

"What did you want to talk about Rin?" Kiyoteru proclaimed grinning while he pushed his glasses up his nose.

They stood in the empty school courtyard. The wind blew softly as the air between them seemed to grow thick with anticipation.

"Before y-you say anything Kiyoteru...promise m-me that we'll _always_ stay friends." Rin said shakily.

He stopped smiling and became silent for a while. Rin's knees shook quite aggressively as she stood before him. The first boy she had ever dated...the first person she had ever kissed, was also going to be the first boy she ever _dumped_...

Kiyoteru's dark ebony eyes seemed sharper than knives as he gazed at her, then he stated, "I don't think I can promise you anything. Especially if I don't know what I am conceding to Rin."

He jolted when she closed her eyes and began to weep out of nowhere.

Shocked but understanding, Kiyoteru asked thoughtfully, "Rin...what's wrong?"

Rin's flushed tear-stricken face announced groggily, "Don't b-be nice to m-me. I'm not worth your l-love."

Still being attentive to her needs, Kiyoteru walked towards Rin and embraced her as he thought, _Slowly you'll fall for me...and then my rival will see my own sorrow reflected in his eyes..._

Rin pushed him off shouting as tears streamed heavily down her cheeks, "P-PLEASE DON'T HUG ME! I WANT TO _BREAK UP_ WITH YOU!"

Shocked, he turned his back towards her and after a long pause exclaimed quietly, "_Why_?"

"B-because I've realized that I don't l-love you the way a girl s-should to a guy that is her boyfriend. I'm s-so s-sorry...I hope you'll find it in the d-depths of your heart the ability to forgive m-me." she said in between short erratic breadths.

A past Kiyoteru would have wanted to hurt Rin physically after hearing her say such things. Normally his anger would have tipped over the rim by now, but he just stared at her. Kiyoteru could not hate her...because although he tried to stop it, he had fallen _in love_ not too long ago...

"Is there any way I can change your mind about this Rin?" he stated softly, his back facing her gaze.

She rubbed her eyes nervously and muttered rather distraught, "N-no...I can't change my heart. If I could have done so...I would've. -And I tried to! I _really_ did! I truly wished it hadn't turned out t-this way, because I genuinely l-like you Kiyoteru!"

"…But you don't love me...do you?" Kiyoteru finished turning around to face her once more.

"I'm sorry!-Please stay my friend! I don't want to lose you!" Rin announced loudly, her face completely red with distress.

"I guess then...I am sorry as well. I say this because I cannot be friends with someone...that I love...it would be too painful for me..." Kiyoteru explained.

"_You love me_?" Rin whispered, her eyes already swollen.

"I suppose I did didn't I? Well...it's past tense now because I'm going to have to learn how to be single again." he proclaimed lifting his head to look at the sky.

What Rin didn't know was that Kiyoteru had become a different man because of her...a man who had become a little less selfish...a man who smiled a little more with each passing day. Now he would walk the earth alone as he had done all his life before.

He stopped staring at the sky to return his stare to her and realized, _My plan didn't turn out so well did it? I've been defeated by you yet again Len Kagamine...but this time it hurts so much more then when I was just losing to you alone...but this is surely not going to be the end of me…_

Rin couldn't speak, her heart was throbbing painfully...but at the same time, it also felt like a weight was being lifted. She no longer had to be with someone she constantly doubted, and despite feeling cruel she knew it was for the best.

With one last sad grin Kiyoteru declared, "I assume this is where we part ways. I don't want to live the rest of my life wondering if I should do this...but fuck it. Why the hell not..."

Without a word's notice he walked towards her and gave her one final kiss. She stood immobile as he persisted to kiss her in a way she had never felt from him before.

It was affectionate and kind, full of passion and sorrow all at once. Rin discerned it was a final 'last chance' to get what he wanted...and apparently that was an authentically loving kiss.

Their lips departed, and she watched as Kiyoteru turned around and slowly walked away, his figure an unclear blob due to her tears.

The rest of the day for Rin Kagamine was spent in a daze just as her twin brother had been doing for the past few weeks and then it happened...

Rin had a dream, a dream _similar_ to Len's, a reverie were something lost was slowly being illuminated to her.

She had arrived home and because she was already so mentally exhausted, Rin instantly plummeted into dream land as she flopped onto her bed.

For once she would experience the kind of things Len always had to deal with...cognitive retrieval and clarification of one's innermost desires/fears/memories.

In her dream she found herself in a Garden Of Eden of sorts. Flowers colored in vibrant shades of the rainbow were scattered all over the bushes. The grass carried the sweet aroma of honey lingering in the air.

She bent over to smell some of the Orchids and Daisies, they reminded Rin of her childhood and she continued to stroll amongst the greenery in the garden until she was startled by a young man addressing her.

"This garden is beautiful isn't it? *Laughs*. However...beauty is a double-sided sword. It has an overlooked ugliness that cannot be hidden..." the young man proclaimed from out of her view.

Rin was gradually met with the gaze of an imaginary Kiyoteru making her at once fall to her knees as she covered her face.

_Even in my dreams I can't escape my guilt for hurting such a kind person!_ Rin thought solemnly, but then she realized, _Maybe this is a chance for me to redeem myself! Maybe my dream is giving me a way to clear my conscience._

She stood up from the ground and asserted towards make-believe Kiyoteru, "I will forever be in debt to your benevolence towards me….but I _had_ to leave you…it was the only way for me to be freed…"

Kiyoteru's black eyes smirked at her, but his thin lips did not move except for when he stated, "Is that why you really left me? Am I truly the _only reason_ you wanted to go…..or is there another?"

"What? I don't understand…I needed to leave you. I couldn't keep trying to force myself….to fall in love…I even gave it time, and after 6 months of dating you I'd realized that my feelings for you weren't growing…" Rin clarified.

"Tsk...tsk...tsk. Oh Rin you amuse me so! Have you not thought about it even once? Common blondie, think a little harder…" imaginary Kiyoteru mocked.

She felt like crying again, but instead she proclaimed, "I've told you everything about my reasons why I've left you…so why do you continue to tease me Kiyoteru?"

He grinned at her sadistically then said in _Len's _voice, "She's only my sister! That's all there is to it!"

As she recognized what he was insinuating she began to shout, "STOP IT! STOP TEASING ME!"

"I'm not teasing you….you know it's the truth…" fake Kiyoteru muttered beneath his breath.

"Leave Len out of this! He has nothing to do with you and me!" Rin continued screaming.

"Ooh, aren't you touchy when it comes to your relationship with him. But be mindful Rin, you might be able to ignore imaginary Kiyoteru, but real-life Kiyoteru is a genius. He knows that you both want to fuck each other." He stated licking his lips.

"SHUT UP!" Rin shrieked holding her hands over her ears as she shut her eyes tight.

Imaginary Kiyoteru's wicked laugh emanated throughout the garden, blanketing Rin's body and then suddenly it stopped. She removed her palms from her ears and opened her eyes. Everything was peaceful again, but Rin had been traumatized by Kiyoteru's declaration about her and her twin, so on trembling knees she walked onwards in the abnormally ethereal garden.

**A/N: If you have classical music play it now readers :D My suggestion:** **YouTube: Claude Debussy - Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun ****watch?v=9_7loz-HWUM**

She paused as faint classical music began to hum throughout the silent but peaceful garden. Rin stopped in her tracks when she found herself in front of the entrance of a backyard maze.

Without really thinking, she walked inside it following the drone of the clarinet as guidance. As Rin pushed pass bush after bush, she stopped dead in her tracks when her cerulean eyes found a boy with large white wings inside a birdcage.

"Len….?" She whispered, feeling as though they might be the same person.

The boy turned his head to look over his shoulder at her, and as soon as their eyes made contact he whipped his head away and hid himself inside his massive wings, balling up his body within them.

Rin dashed towards him, her arms reaching for the boy contained behind the bars all the while declaring loudly, "No-wait! Do not be afraid! I won't hurt you…"

The blond young man did not creep out from under his white wings to respond to her, so with gentle fingers she sifted her tiny palms through his feathers to find him. The boy was curled up, his knees against his chest as he gradually removed his arms to stare at her. He was almost like a wounded animal. She attempted to caress his cheek, but he shuddered violently and hissed at her, a crow's hawking resounding from his human throat.

"Shhhhh…do not be frightened by me…I won't hurt you…what is your name?" Rin cooed affectionately.

The blond young man gazed at her and muttered, "Len…"

Rin was puzzled and proclaimed, "You're not my brother…you're just make believe…"

He snarled at her and mumbled, "I am a representation of Len. I am how you see him to be…"

"If you are really my brother…then why are you so frightened of me?" she asked naively.

"Because of what I will do to you, I must remain away. I have to keep you pure, it is the only way…" the angel-like Len announced in low quiet breaths.

"The only way for what?" Rin questioned, sitting beside his cage.

"The only way I can express my love for you…" Angel Len declared seriously.

She looked away from angel Len, embarrassed by her mind's raw honesty.

After a long pause she said, "Tell me, does the Len in real life still want to be friends?"

"Of course…that is all he really wants now.-Your forgiveness for his sins. He needs you, this is why you see me as I am now….like a wounded creature…" Angel Len explained.

"If we become friends again…will it be like the way it was before…?" Rin whispered cautiously.

"That is up to you…but you must set him free, you must tell him that he is forgiven. If you do not he will remain inside a mental 'cage', continually under his own conscious torment." Angel Len illuminated.

"I don't know how to do that…I'm not god. How can I solve something so…..complex like that?" she proclaimed quietly.

"Your word is enough. Here, I'll give you the key to opening his cage. Once you wake up, you know what you have to do…" Angel Len stated handing her a tiny key.

Rin gazed at him and grasped what he was asking her to fulfill. With one swift motion she unlocked the birdcage allowing Angel Len to be freed. He smiled at her, spread his wings and began running. As he sprinted he outstretched his arms and prepared for flight. Eventually he soared higher and higher until Rin could not see him anymore, and with one final sigh she was awake.

Her dream was still so fresh that she went right away to Len's room. It was Saturday, so Rin and Len had the house to themselves while their parents were at work.

She knocked on his door apprehensively. No answer…so Rin bit by bit turned the doorknob, what she would find would scar her for the rest of her life…

On Len's bedroom floor covered in his own blood was her twin brother unconscious.

She shrieked and ran to her fallen brother's side. Rin pulled his limp body to her chest and cradled his head onto her shoulder as she examined his wounds. She was in a state of shock, but her instincts told her to give him a glass of water and hot towels. Rin returned to his room with several supplies to find that he was still out cold.

Rin couldn't call the police, if they knew he was abusing himself they might take him away to a mental facility for juveniles. So with unsteady hands she placed a warm towel on his forehead and neck. Rin afterwards gently trickled water into his half open mouth. He didn't respond to it right away, but Len gradually began to choke and open his dead eyes.

"Ugggghhhhhhh….Rin? Why're you here…?" he garbled weakly.

She held him tighter now that he was awake and whispered, "Why Len…why have you done something so horrible to yourself?"

Rin watched as he scratched at his self-injuries by his hips. She flinched and told him, "Stop! Don't touch them, it'll only make it worse…"

It was unbearable to watch him as the way he was: defeated, frail, and pathetic, but she knew if she cried in front of him now he would only continue to hurt himself. The reason for his cutting in the first place was her disapproval of _that kiss_. Rin had to be strong enough for the both of them, so in these crucial moments, she swallowed her tears and cleared to her throat as she became his sole protector.

His bewildered azure eyes stared up at her and he explained, "I need to be punished for kissing you…so that I will be forgiven…"

"Jesus Christ Len-_I forgive you_!-Now promise me you will stop cutting yourself! Just please stop this madness!" Rin declared screaming, as she choked back her tears.

"I thought you didn't care about me anymore. We haven't talked in weeks Rin…" Len muttered feebly.

"That's because I was scared too…of what's happened between us. I don't want that one little accident to tear us apart. I stayed away because I didn't know how to react to 'us'…" Rin clarified softly, embracing Len even more.

He was silent for a long time, then he said clearly, "It _wasn't_ an _accident_…I've wanted to kiss you for so long….that it finally just happened. I couldn't stop myself, and now I regret doing so every waking moment since then. Rin….I want_…to kill myself_…."

"No! Don't say something so ridiculous! If you die I'll have _no one_! I haven't told anyone yet, but I broke up with Kiyoteru because of you and me. Our relationship is too complicated for me to have a boyfriend…we need to…we have to sort THIS all out first…" Rin spoke shakily, her arms beginning to shudder.

"_This_ is how I feel about you…._this_ is something I can't ignore, _this_ is why I've been cutting myself since that day. I know it's wrong, and I hate myself for feeling like _this_." Len declared, his voice cracking with unfallen tears.

"I know it's painful Len…but I'm sure it's just a _phase_. We'll grow out of it someday! I'm….I'm sure of it, this is just a temporary thing Len. We'll find a way to overcome this together…so please stop hurting yourself for me. I forgive you Len Kagamine, so please dear god allow your heart to forgive itself…" Rin whispered, her cheek rubbing against his own as she held him.

Len sighed deeply and stated, "That's all I've wanted to hear since that day I've kissed you…I'm just so sorry…"

"Don't be…..we've moved past that….." Rin spoke softly, running her fingers through his flaxen hair.

She then wordlessly began to put cotton balls on his slashed hips taping bandages over them as she carefully observed his body tense under her touch.

Rin thought forlornly, _You may be mentally freed Len, but your body is still receptive to me…even though I'm related to you by blood, your skin still wants to touch my own…you have to learn how to live without your desire Len if you ever want to be normal again._

"I never want to see you bleed again. Promise me Len….place your right hand over your heart and swear to me: I will never commit self-injury ever again for any reason as long as I live…" Rin ordered, placing Len's hand over his chest.

He grinned at her wearily and replied, "I promise that I will NEVER commit self-injury ever again for any reason as long as I live…"

She returned his defeated smile and stated, "I can never hate you Len…please know this. Don't ever feel like I will because the truth is….you're probably the only person who I can say this about…..you're my best friend. No one on planet earth knows me like you do, please don't forget that…"

"I won't. I'm sorry for creating so much more pain for the both of us. It's just that, I didn't know how to deal with my guilt." Len made clear, lifting his hand to brush some of Rin's blonde hair behind her ear.

Rin lifted the hand he had brushed her hair with to her lips kissing it multiple times as she said gently, "I can't believe such beautiful hands could do something so terrible to their owner's own body."

Len laughed in response with grief in his voice and proclaimed, "I never thought I'd become one of those people who so many made fun about. It's made me realize that causing myself agony won't solve anything but make additional complications. I'll make _my own_ vow to you Rin, a promise I cannot break. I vow that our bond will not be shattered by anything ever again…"

The twins sat on his bedroom floor gazing at the sunshine which began to peek through the window sill, their connection having been reestablished. What they didn't apprehend was it would soon be crushed yet again once Len found out why he was tarnished before he even realized he loved his sister…the truth was, they were _never normal_…

**A/N: Let me just get this off my chest. It's extremely difficult for me to write in the female perspective! -_-**

**Now here's the Q & A I've gotten so far:**

**1. Favorite Vocaloid character/why****?: Rin, she's so f^cking cute. If she were real she'd be the type of girl I'd date. But hey, there's plenty of real-life chicks who are already like that. So yeah, she's my favorite (so far).**

**2. How do I write such descriptive/emotional events/where does it all come from?:**** First off from personal experience like w/ my friends (no **_**I don't**_** practice incest, it's **_**NASTY**_** dude). Second from Foreign Films that I like to watch (they usually have good plotlines), and third specifically from: Inception, Heavy Rain (game), and Cloud Atlas. Since obviously you took the time to read my story you'll probably like my 3 suggestions.**

**3. Did you borrow the idea of The Faceless Man from The Slenderman?:**** Ha ha, no I didn't even know the Slenderman existed till' you mentioned it. Spoiler Alert! The faceless man is actually human, not a mythical creature created by Len's imagination. His face will be revealed soon!**

**Please review if you would kindly do so/see you next time!**** :P**


	16. Chapter 16: A Most Unfortunate Truth

**Chapter 16: A Most Unfortunate Truth…**

Everything was perfect in the world, or so it seemed. Len finally had his conscience cleared (for the time being), and Rin (though somewhat lonely) became once more a central part of her friends' inner circle now that she no longer had a boyfriend.

Occasionally the twins would gaze at each other from across the cafeteria during lunch time, a mutual understanding of trust having been solidified between them. Still, there was that devil inside Len that remained deep within his soul. That devil was his inability to answers all the questions raised in his dreams, and those dreams were becoming increasingly numerous.

All he knew from what he had written down from memory was that his past had to do with: butterflies (a silver and a gold one to be specific), cages, the Faceless man, _maybe_ the Faceless girl, sleeping, summer possibly, and lastly Rin...

Nothing made sense to him. All Len knew was that the only way he could clarify his thoughts was to do some searching in real life. But currently, something else was in the front lines of his attention...his _twin sister_.

Ever since she declared that she had forgiven him, Len felt as though he were on cloud 9. He had managed (_somehow_) to get everything he wanted: a girlfriend, his sister's love, and a pretty damn perfect school life; But good karma doesn't last so very long, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction...

It was Thanksgiving Weekend and like every year since the twins were born, their parents would make a big dinner where they would all talk about what they were thankful for. This particular year it was raining, so their family decided to hold the celebrations indoors. It was pouring so heavily that it was difficult to see the house next door, but their parents went out for: turkey, mashed potatoes, pie, and salad ingredients anyways.

"Be good kids, don't forget to set the tables and light the fireplace. I don't want to use the heater. The bills are _way up_ this month for me and your mother." their father proclaimed as he put on his rain coat and took an umbrella.

"Oh!-And don't forget to put the nice silverware out. You know how _I hate_ it when you kids use the regular silverware on holidays..." their mother announced as she slipped on her scarlet high heels.

Len filed them outside of the house stating rather dully, "We know we know. We won't forget. Bye Mom, bye Dad."

Rin stood up from the dinner table and ran to the front door announcing, "Drive safe! Bye MOM! Bye DAD!"

They shut the front door and started to set plates on the table, lit the fireplace, and put out the nice silverware/china.

Once they were done Rin and Len looked at each other, wondering what they should do next. Both of them were in their nicest clothes. Rin in a peach sundress sporting a pink flower pattern, and Len in a dark grey vest and denim jeans.

After a short pause Rin said enthusiastically, "_I know _what we can do while we wait for them! Let's watch the lighting and thunder from the storm! It's getting pretty violent!"

Len grinned at her childishly and exclaimed, "I remember doing that all the time when we were kids. It's been a while hasn't it?"

Rin returned his nostalgic smile and replied, "Yeah...it has been, hasn't it? Well no matter, we can make up for lost time right now..."

"Race you upstairs!" Len declared suddenly, shoving Rin playfully to the side as he dashed for the first step.

Rin laughed gleefully in response as she tugged at his vest pulling him down from the first step onto the floor, making her way past him.

Eventually they made it to the guest room upstairs and squeezed past one another in the narrow doorway, only to land onto the carpet hard. The beamed at each other and sat on the floor by the window sill, watching the rain patter onto the glass.

Every now and then some lighting struck dangerously close to their home, with tremulous thunder accompanying it a few seconds afterwards making the twins squeal in excitement.

In their silent enjoyment, Len cautiously stared at his sister from the corner of his eyes thinking, _I don't think there's anyone else in the whole world who I enjoy doing this with as much as I do with Rin..._

She could feel her brother's eyes burning into the side of her cheek and turned to say to him, "What's the matter? Are you bored already? If you are we can just watch some TV if you want."

He smiled at her almost sadly, then announced softly, "No, I'm not bored. I was just thinking..."

"Thinking what?" Rin asked grinning at him, her faint dimples peeking through.

"I was just thinking that...there's no one else I enjoy watching storms with as much as I do with_ you_..." Len whispered, looking at his intertwined hands on his lap.

Rin could feel the heat in her skin suddenly rise making her reply nervously, "T-that's because there's only two of us! We only have each other to look to when our parents aren't here."

Len's cobalt eyes met her own, and after what seemed like an eternity to Rin he said, "You're probably right."

Out of nowhere some lightning struck a house across from the Kagamine's, taking out a few phone poles and consequently the power on the entire block surrounding their neighborhood, including _their own_. The twins jolted when an electronic noise rung in the air, and the two were left in complete and total darkness.

"Are, are you okay Rin?" Len asked, blindly reaching into the air for his sister's hands.

"I'm right h-here Len! I'm okay!" Rin stated, crawling towards the sound of his voice.

They embraced each other in the blackness of the night, realizing they had to make their way downstairs to the fireplace. Before they could even stand up, the after sound of thunder had finally arrived and turned on several car alarms. And what's more is that it made Rin duck for cover onto Len, her feminine body laying firmly atop his pecks.

**A/N: Time to play some melancholy/bittersweet music readers!**** :D ****Here's my recommendation:** **YouTube: Rurouni Kenshin OST - Sound Of Snow Falling** **watch?v=eIPYmH14t1U**

It was there again, the sensation of wanting to touch each other, but this time was a little different, this time...they would not fight their urges...this time...they would merely_ give in_.

Without having to be told what craziness they were feeling for one another at the moment, they allowed their innermost desires to be satiated...

Len gazed up at the shadowed face of his sister that was darkened by the blackout, and lifted a trembling hand to touch her cheek. It felt just as it did in his dreams, warm and soft, and he immediately knew from just one touch, that the emotions between them were mutual, and have _always _been...mutual.

She brought her lips tenderly close to his own, but they did not kiss, not just yet. Instead Rin grazed her lips onto his skin, inhaling his scent, reveling in the aura of his body heat transmitting onto her own flesh, and then it finally occurred...a _requited _kiss.

Len spasmed when he apprehended what was taking place, his love was being reciprocated. Nothing could ruin this moment, nothing...

Their mouths ran over each other like tires on asphalt, it was palpable, they were finally kissing and it gave them both an insane natural high. He ran his hands all over Rin's waist, enjoying the fact that she was twitching every place he made contact on her body. A rhythmic motion waved through their abdomens, and a pull and push reaction resulted from the inertia of the passion between them.

He caressed Rin on her neck, her bare thighs, her delicate shoulders-everything felt new and raw to him. It was bliss in its most basic form, but it was also mixed with the color of hopelessness and grief. They both knew this, but the wanting overpowered the guilt, at least for the time being...

The kisses went back and forth from supple to harsh. Their erratic breathing cut the noiseless air between them, excluding the pelts of rain outside on the window pane. The darkness from the blackout only made it more exciting for them and every other sense was heightened. The tenderness of Rin's tongue on his, the subtle tensing of her waist laying on his own, the aroma of her strawberry and orange shampoo coming from her hair, and her cute little voice making odd noises as their kisses became more aggressive made it difficult for Len to keep himself in check.

But he wouldn't mess up this time, this time his infatuation was being returned, this time he knew better, this time was going to be perfect...

"Let me t-take lead..." Len spoke restlessly, his voice like butter to Rin's ears.

Her blackened figure nodded yes and he shifted so that he could be on top of her. Len was careful and slow, he made sure his bottom half wouldn't touch her, otherwise she'd notice his erection. He made a 90 degree angle with his arms on both sides of her head as she lay on the carpet floor, with his knees propping up his legs so that the area below their hips could not make contact.

With frightened and impatient words Len asked, "Can...can I continue?"

In less than a whisper Rin stated, "Y-yes you may..."

She was so embarrassed she thanked god that he couldn't see her face right now. Her skin was warmer than clothes just out of a drier. Rin involuntarily jolted when she felt his lips forcing open her mouth and his tongue slide in. She finally realized why sexual acts were so taboo in the western culture. Something that felt _this_ good was surely a sin. -And they were committing a _primary_ sin...incest.

Regardless of this fact, Len persisted to kiss her softly: a few times around the corners of her lips, on her temperate cheeks, and down onto the skin of her smooth and slender neck. Len could feel Rin's hot breath brushing against his body as he moved down. He had reached just above her collar bone and began to conceive that it was still too soon for him to make love to her. The recently reciprocal love between the twins was unripe and frightening. Len would leave this fragile amorousness left pure. Making love to Rin could wait for another day…

Len never grasped that being wanted like this could feel so good, and it terrified him. It was so much happiness all at once he was sure he was going to die, and if he did die this very instant, he would die _without regrets_.

Despite this he could discern a mass of unspoken agony rising in his throat and whispered in her ear woefully, "What the fuck are we doing? We...we said we would get past what happened...and...and _now this_?"

She removed her head from the crook of his neck and stared at his shadowy afflicted expression.

With almost feathery like fingers Rin brushed the side of his flaxen locks from his eyes and said gently, "We're only kissing, that's all we're doing...kissing is_ not illegal_ Len-don't be afraid. It's taken me so long to accept these feelings I have for you, I don't….want to ruin it..."

"I…...I know, but this is wrong! How can we be doing this? How can_ I _be doing this? I'm supposed to protect you!" Len proclaimed loudly, his voice broken with his attempts not to cry.

"You_ are _protecting me...but maybe you're right, maybe we should stop...I feel like if we don't stop now-" Rin said but was cut off when Len whispered, "-We never will be able to, will we?"

They gazed at each other, cerulean eyes both filled with dejection. He stared at her beautiful shadowed face and thought, _Maybe we won't go all the way, kissing might just be ENOUGH. I felt so elated just a moment ago...and all I have in my heart now is anger. Why does Rin have to be my sister of all the people on planet Earth? Why couldn't Neru be my sister instead?! WHY GOD DAMN-IT?!_

It seems the twins were thinking the same thing because Rin abruptly said, "God must be punishing us. We must have been bad people in our past lives in order to deserve this. I wish I wasn't your sister, because then I could love you freely without shame...like you do with Neru..."

Len turned his head to the side as he bit his lip stating, "I know Rin, I'm the same way. This is probably the worse punishment known to men and women in regards to love. I don't feel like I'm cheating though, because my heart has_ never_ belonged to her. -But I know we have to stop this right now, because I have to breakup with her first. She doesn't deserve a boyfriend as horrible as I am...for god sakes Rin I'm cheating on her with my _own sister_!"

Rin could see unfallen tears brimming the edges of his pained eyes despite the darkness of the night and cooed, "Don't say that, you _are very_ kind to her. Neru is always telling us how wonderful you are. She never lied about that Len. As for our love, I'm still so afraid that I don't know how to react to you... now that you're not just my twin anymore... "

"Maybe you won't have to learn how to react to 'us'. We should end this, it's for the best. I know it feels so _damn good_, but...but we have to! For the sake of our parents...if they knew...we would both be dead." Len declared almost in silence.

Rin closed her eyes tight squinting back tears as she proclaimed, "Not only that, but they would be crushed...it's a parent's worst nightmare...actually it's a parent's _ultimate_ nightmare…"

Without speaking, the two understood that it had to end now, for the well being of their parents. Len rolled off of Rin and escorted her out of the guest room, their hands caressing for a moment longingly before they walked away from each other out into the hallway.

The rest of the evening was spent waiting for their parents. It was 11pm when a visitor arrived to the Kagamine's home. Rin and Len ran for the door both greeting eagerly, "Welcome home!"

But it wasn't their gorgeous mother at the front door with her long flaxen hair in her cardigan, or their handsome father with his ocean blue eyes under his thick-rimmed glasses staring back at them.

Instead, a policeman standing in the rain on their front doorstep lowered his hat announcing gloomily to them, "I'm sorry to report to you both...that unfortunately your parents have just been _been killed in a car accident_ a mere three blocks from your home. The intersection street lights went out when lightning took out the power lines and about thirty people died along with your parents from mass car crashings on a main boulevard junction. I offer my condolences to you both. I am _truly_ sorry for your loses..."

At first Len smiled at him and replied grinning a bit, "You're lying right? Is this a hidden camera TV show or something? Please tell me you're joking officer..._please _tell us this is all a joke..."

The officer's green eyes seemed devoid of laughter as he answered, "I'm sorry son…I really am...but it's _no joke_. We're going to have to take you both down to the station to do paperwork since you're both still minors. We have to find out who's going to take you into custody and whether your parents have a living will or not. It's a long process and will be difficult, but it's part of the protocol and it's necessary to document all the occurrences as soon as possible...you're not the only family I had to report to today…"

Len just stood like a rock, he stared at the policeman with blank eyes. He did not move at all, he didn't even breath. The ground beneath him disappeared under his feet and a massive pressure pushed itself onto his heart.

Rin on the other hand..._broke down_. She collapsed onto the wooden floor of their front doorway bawling uncontrollably, her hands clawing at the ground beneath her.

She stared up at the policeman from the ground, her face wild with tears draped all over her cheeks as she declared, "_PLEASE _TELL US YOU'RE LYING!"

The police officer looked away from her and said quietly, "I wish it _were a lie_ kid. But I do this every month. I know it's not easy. I've been announcing such tragedies for years now, and the pain for the family members NEVER goes away. Regardless of this, I still have to take you both down to the station. I'll wait for you in the patrol car when you're ready…"

After a deep sigh, the policeman put his guard-hat back on and walked towards his patrol car, the rain obscuring his dark silhouette. Without a second thought, Len followed the orders of the policeman and brought his paperwork heading for the car as he left Rin still distraught on the doorstep.

"LEENNN! Why're you leaving me here?!" Rin screamed, her gaze bloodshot with her peach sundress drenched in rainwater.

He turned around to face her, the shine of life lost from his eyes as he said, "This is the only thing _we can do_, which is listen to the police. If you won't join me…we'll be HOMELESS Rin. I don't think it's hit me yet….the fact that our parents….are dead. All I know is…we have to get help from adults right now…."

She swallowed hard and declared, "You're….you're r-right. I have to see for myself, if what he told us is true. I'll go with you…"

Len handed her an extra jacket that he had already with him and showed her that inside a manila folder he had both their paperwork. Rin clung onto his arm like an anchor to a boat, fearing that if they were separated he would disappear right in front of her, just as their parents had done earlier that day…

The ride to the station was a lengthy arduous journey because of the intense pouring, and neither twin spoke to each other the whole time.

When they got there they were told exactly what was going to happen: how the funeral would be paid for by the nearest relative (their Aunt), how she was going to take them in, that their parent's 401 (k)'s would be enough to put them through all of college _including_ graduate school once they turned 18, and how they wouldn't have to move to a new school/home because their Aunt on their father's side was going to start working in the city they lived in.

They were debriefed for about three hours and waited thirty minutes until their Aunt arrived. When she got there she thanked the police officers and asked whether the twins wanted to see their parents' bodies. She was told they didn't want to witness them.

"Hey Rin…..hey Len….how…how are you both holding up? I'm so very sorry kids. I never expected this to happen…" Aunt Kagamine declared crouching as she looked at them, her red lipstick the color of blood.

Len looked her over and thought,_ Her hair…..is so much shorter…..than mom's…._

"Auntie Kay….why did this have to happen to us?" Rin asked, no longer able to cry as she huddled next to her brother on the cold hard bench they were sitting in.

Their Aunt placed her hands on both their backs, rubbing them soothingly as she proclaimed, "Honey, it was all an accident. I was by no means really close to your dad growing up, but I know he didn't deserve this…neither did your mother…"

"What's going to follow now? Are we going to be homeless?" Len questioned, continuing to look at his Aunt's pixie haircut, his azure gaze as hollow as a black hole.

Her light grey pupils burned into their cobalt ones as she clarified, "I'm going to move in with you guys, at least until you go to college. Then I'll look over the home and when you're both ready to take over I'll leave the house and your inheritance to you each and move back up north from the town I just left."

"What about your job Auntie Kay?" Rin inquired sniffling a bit, her face flustered with misery.

"I work in a company that has more than 50 branches in this state, so I just transferred to another hospital. I'm still a pediatrician. Same job, pay, and insurance, just a different place that's all….I didn't even have to sell my house because I lived in a small apartment. I just packed up and left when they told me the horrific news about my brother and his wife." Their Aunt explained, still rubbing their backs.

She thanked the police officers at the station one last time before taking the twins back home, her van filled with her suitcases. When they returned to their home, the lights were still out and the fireplace had burnt out.

Their Aunt lit a bunch of candles she had brought with her and placed them inside some makeshift lamps. That night was the longest night of the Kagamine twin's lives. Len would consequently have an epiphany from a reverie he had the day after his parent's death. A dream that would explain _everything_ he needed to know to grasp the truth about their shared ill-fated pasts…

**A/N: Hello again readers…**

**I hope this chapter didn't make you too sad. I went in a different direction with their parents. Usually**_**,**_** the two kids who are having a secret relationship are caught in "the act" by one and/or both of their parents. This will not be the case in "The Start Of Something Sinister". I actually liked the parents I created for them. I didn't want to tarnish their outlooks about their children being pure/good kids, so instead (sorry to say) I decided to kill them off before that happened.**

**I gave you all A LOT of clues that their parents were going to die, so there should be no shock there: their mother's red shoes signify death, the aspect that it was raining too aggressively yet they still went out, the power outage, the fireplace (symbolizing their life), and the fact from the beginning their parents are just vague people in general. I didn't build them up b/c I was going to eventually kill them.**

**I know there's a lot of heartache written into my story and it **_**is**_** depressing at times, but that's what happens when you fall in love with your sibling! This is the reality of their situations kiddos, and I am not going to change it. Why would I follow that anime stereotype of: I can have sex w/ my sister and the world will be okay with it? That's not the real world, this is a realistic fiction/romance/drama. I've read and watched so many animes with that irritating trope that it actually spurred me into writing my own. **

**So I figured, I **_**have**_** vivid dreams every night, why not make the main character have them too? Plus I hate that if the incest story is realistic, it typically ends badly. SPOILER ALERT! Mine will have a happy ending…so for all you who get gloomy reading my story, that's something to look forward too! LOL. **

**That being said thanks for stopping by and please review!**** :)**


	17. Chapter 17: What We Had

**Chapter 17: What We Had…**

The world had collapsed onto itself for the Kagamine twins. There was no longer such a thing as hope or faith...or even the sense of purpose

The funeral was tortuous for Rin and Len. Being bombarded by adults who offered their deepest condolences not knowing what horrendous pain they were both experiencing was appalling to the two. Those people didn't know their ideal parents, and yet to pretend like they did sickened them, especially Len. His brooding character was already quite pronounced. Now it was cemented in the constant agitated look in his ocean blue eyes.

Their Aunt did her best to make good of their awful situation, taking care of both her niece and nephew in a responsible manner while catering to the distant relatives and friends of her late brother and his wife.

She was a poise tall woman, with light blonde hair barely reaching the back of her neck; she always had the color of red somewhere attributed in her clothes. Aunt Kagamine was a commanding authoritative figure who never got married or had children despite being still so young and attractive. She was only in her mid-thirties.

With their new 'mother' present, school resumed as usual except _now_ Rin's friends treated her with the utmost empathy. Len (conversely) was no longer teased for being a cold prince. At present he actually had a reason to act that way. Their friends were careful to treat them as they had done before, but they all noticed that Rin and Len were changed people: they were slightly more disheartening to hang around, and a little too short tempered. However, when you're parents die right before you graduate, you tend to react in such ways.

For Neru on the other hand, Len's mysteriousness and coldness towards her only made him MORE attractive. Working for his affection was one of the many perks of being his girlfriend, that and the jealous stares of other girls. She was so caught up in her infatuation for him that she couldn't see the signs that he had been drifting away for months now. So when he broke the news to her, she was devastated.

It happened one evening in early December, after another long day at school Len and Neru had just finished a club meeting for their track team and decided to head home together (Rin had already left taking an earlier train).

As Len was packing up his track supplies in the boy's locker rooms, he saw Kiyoteru flash him a look of complete hatred, a snarl riding his expression. He paused as he saw his glasses wearing classmate wait patiently until they were alone.

Len dismissed his presence and was about to leave when Kiyoteru abruptly reached for the back of his shirt collar tearing it apart and sending Len to the ground.

Shocked and disturbed, Len shouted staring at his ruined school uniform, "What the FUCK MAN?! Why the hell did you do that?!"

In terrifyingly low voice Kiyoteru hissed, "Do not play innocent with me Kagamine. The reason Rin and I broke up is because of you. IT IS ALWAYS YOU WHO IS CREATING UNNECESSARY PROBLEMS FOR ME!"

Len frowned at him and retorted, "Stop blaming me for your fucking problems Kiyoteru! GROW THE FUCK UP!"

Kiyoteru smirked at him and stated, "NO...you grow up…from you're silly crush on your sister, or I'll tell the whole world you're revoltingly filthy secret."

Len swallowed hard at his declaration but said bravely (lying to some extent), "You have no physical proof. Why should I take you seriously?! We haven't DONE ANYTHING!"

"You should have always taken me seriously Len, and now you will pay the price of your refusal to surrender to me..." Kiyoteru replied. He then lifted out his cell phone and showed Len a picture...

It was a picture of Len kissing Rin on the hill in their local park several months ago as she slept...a sight Kiyoteru proclaimed he had never seen, although apparently _he had_...

Everything had gone to complete and total shit for Len, there was evidence, real distinct evidence. The lie he had told Kiyoteru so very long ago about brushing leaves out of his sister's hair (though in reality he had been kissing her) was NEVER believed by Kiyoteru. The sick bastard knew Len had kissed Rin that day, he only wanted to hear Len admit to it which is why he pretended not to know, saving this fact for blackmail he would use later.

Len was utterly stupefied as he realized, _I know he knew how I felt about Rin since a long time ago, but I NEVER THOUGHT ONCE...that I had been caught in the act of expressing my love for her. God is punishing me for my indecent thoughts. I don't know what to do anymore...Kiyoteru has all the power, I've got nothing left to defend myself. But with that power he won't destroy just me anymore, but Rin as well if that picture gets out._

With his gaze lowered Len asked painfully choking back his fear, "Please Kiyoteru...I...I beg of you, d-don't send that picture out to anyone. I'll do whatever you want: forfeit a track race so you can win, give up my girlfriend, pay you money...just PLEASE don't let that photo be seen. If you do you'll be hurting Rin too, not just me..."

Kiyoteru grinned viciously and declared, "I know it might hurt her, but the one portrayed as the villain will be you. I'll be the knight in shining armor protecting his ex-girlfriend from her perverted twin brother. She will merely be the victim. No one will like you anymore, I'll finally become everything my parents wanted me to be: top of the class, first place runner, and likable honor student with the pretty girl by his side, _you're sister_."

Len shuddered when he heard his reasons as to why he was tormenting him. He couldn't understand how one could be so shallow and self-centered, but there are people out there like that, and his sister's ex-boyfriend was one of them.

"Are...are you really going to send it?" Len questioned, balling up his fists.

"It depends, tell me how I can win your sister over and maybe I'll delete it. Plus I want you to do as you offered. You can't be the school king without a trophy-wife now can you? Dump Neru, lose a few races, and make sure when we test not to study so that I'll be number one in our school ranking, not you..." Kiyoteru clarified, his eyes burning with vengeance.

"Okay, I'll do it. Just for god-sakes delete that photo..." Len begged, his back hunched over defeatedly.

"I want you to sign a contract that I'll give you later this week so that I don't have to depend on just your word for reliability on your offer Kagamine." Kiyoteru proclaimed.

Len nodded mutely and watched as Kiyoteru left the boy's locker room. When he was sure he was gone Len was met with Neru waiting for him outside.

She paused for a second before she said sympathetically, "What….what _happened_ to your uniform? Not only that but you look exhausted Len…is there anything I can do for you?"

He stared at her, his face devoid of color before he stated quietly, "There isn't anything you can do for me anymore...you've done enough."

Slightly annoyed at this comment Neru asked, "What's THAT supposed to mean?"

Len was silent again, and after a really long time he whispered, "I want...to break up. There's so much stress in my life right now, that I'm not fit enough to be your boyfriend...you need someone better."

She was stunned and questioned defensively, "Why Len? We're so happy together! I know that your parents died and everything, but I'll help you get through it. TOGETHER we can help you move on...it'll be so much more painful to bear all that stress alone."

"But...that's just it. I NEED to be alone right now. Nothing in the world can help me, not even you. You are perfect as you are, but in this time in my life I'm in such a deep hole that I don't want to drag you in with me. I want to keep you as you are, naive of my suffering. Your parents are still alive. I don't want you to waste your time with me when you should be cherishing _them_ while they're still here. You never know Neru what'll happen to them, you just...never know..." Len explained, his voice dripping with agony.

She took in a deep breath before she whispered, "I know Len, that mourning should be done alone sometimes. But I fear for you, for your safety. I want to ease your pain…I'll do whatever it takes to help you through this. You know you can depend on me...right Len? You...you trust me, don't you?"

At this statement Len embraced Neru and thought, _You would have been much better off dating Gumo. He actually likes you as much as you love me. I regret what I'm about to do Neru, but I have to crush you're heart in order to protect you from the truth of my feelings about my sister...because of Kiyoteru's threats. If we don't breakup, he'll tell you my repulsive secret and you'll hate me forever. I'd rather you hate me for what I DID TO YOU as opposed_ to _hating me for knowing that I'm in love with Rin...and I was never worthy of you anyways. You were all I wanted in another life, just not this one..._

"I trust you more than I trust myself, but I can't...I can't go on knowing that in the back of my head THAT I'LL ALWAYS BE UNSURE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP!" Len shouted, making Neru withdraw from his arms.

She lifted her hand to her mouth and stated almost in silence, "What? So...so the reason you want to break-up _isn't_ because of your parent's deaths?"

"No...it's because of us..." Len mumbled staring at the ground, his hands tightly gripping the ends of his torn uniform.

Neru put both hands on her lips as she muttered inaudibly, "What d-did I do wr-wrong? Why is t-this h-happening?"

He watched as she sank to the ground, holding her knees against her chest as she began to sob. Len was truly an awful person. He made a kindhearted girl breakdown before him, knowing from the very beginning of their relationship that this was going to happen anyways.

"It's happening because...I asked you out thinking I could fall in love, but I didn't...and I'm sorry for putting you through this knowing I couldn't change myself for you..." Len proclaimed, bending down to her level.

Neru gazed up from her arms, golden eyes embellished in tears as she exclaimed shakily, "But I love you _so much_...was it not enough? Did I make you angry somehow? Was I too clingy? Please Len!-Tell me what I did that made _you_ dislike our love that _I_ thought was so special!"

"You did _nothing _wrong…I love every part of you, I'm just...not in love with you, and I'm sorry that I couldn't be….especially for someone as lovely as you. There was not anything you could have done different to have made our relationship work. It was just the wrong time in my life. Please Neru, please stand up. Pretty girls should never shed tears for douche-bags, and I'm probably the biggest douche on the planet right now..." Len said, forcing a smile onto his grief stricken face.

Neru laughed a little and stood up rubbing her eyes as she clarified, "You're not a douche Len, you're just cruel.-For making so many girls fall in love with you without giving them a chance. I thought I could be the one...the one who could change that, but it turns out I'm just like the rest of them, aren't I?"

He gave her a saddened half smile and said, "I know I'm cruel, but maybe someday I'll learn to love like you did to me…Common, I'll walk you home.-That is if you're still willing to be around an asshole like I am..."

Neru took a large breath before she wiped her face, fixed her tear-soaked hair and declared gloomily, "What we had was unique, wasn't it…even though as lovers we didn't work out…as friends we were really great. Although it's ended, I feel like I learned something from you…and despite breaking my heart, I thank you for teaching me that love _actually_ exists. You don't have to worry about me Len. I'll move on, you know me."

Len grinned at her sorrowfully and they finally began their awkward break-up ride back to their neighborhoods. They would remain friends (as they had been fond of each other long before dating), but their relationship would never be as good as it had been before the messiness of teenage commitment.

He would never find out that Neru (who pretended she was mostly over their ended romance) would cry herself to sleep for the next two months before she took Gumo's offer to be his girlfriend.

That night Len had a nightmare, a reverie full of answers.

He delved into his fiction abyss and found himself once again in his neighborhood where he had left off.

It was the weird atmosphere of that home with the indigo roof and yellow shudders again. He stared at the windows allowing his eyes to wander behind the curtains. Inside a faint light illuminated the inner darkness of that residence, and he knew the only way to figure out what he had to do was visit the mysterious house in real-life.

Len made his way to the front porch, but was stopped when he heard a familiar voice echoing from down the street. He turned to see his mother and father smiling as they outstretched their arms to a young Rin and Len. Len gazed upon them longingly as he observed his father put little Rin on his shoulders and his mother hold his younger self's hand while they crossed the street.

He had his palm right on the mysterious house's doorknob as he witnessed this, and ventured from his goal to stroll down the pavement so that he could stare at his past life unfold before him.

Len sat on the front lawn of the dwelling across from his childhood home and watched as his parents dropped off little Rin and Len with their neighbors (an elderly couple who appeared to be babysitting all the little kids on the block).

Several small children played in front of the old couple's house while the two sat by in rocking chairs. He viewed his younger self play games with the other kids as little Rin sat with her stuffed animal and other little girls.

But just like he had dreamt before, several of those children began wandering off and vanishing. He stood up and began to follow one of them, a little brown-haired boy. Len knew that his mind wouldn't allow him to talk to these make believe people, so instead he just trailed one of them.

The boy kept walking down the street, and then he unexpectedly faded _right into the air_…

Len was puzzled, but not to the point he would have been earlier in his life. He was so used to being tortured in his sleep that nothing really startled him anymore. But his dreams weren't out of tricks just yet.

Len waited and just like that the boy configured his body in front of him, carrying a scarred blue butterfly on his left shoulder.

This made even less sense to Len and he wondered, _Okay, so maybe my past has more people in it than I previously thought. I don't think it has to do with just Rin anymore, something's wrong here, something isn't right..._

"Have you figured it out yet?" a soft voice drawled nearby.

Len grimaced and said lowly, "Show yourself to me and explain what I'm seeing in my dreams or just leave me the fuck alone."

He knew it was the faceless girl again as her womanly voice was signature ever since he found out that she may be multiple people wrapped up into one.

Len didn't turn his back to look at her, instead he continued to follow the little brunette kid, but was stopped as the faceless girl intertwined her arms around Len's neck as she whispered, "Do not run away from me Len, you know what you want to ask me…so be a man and do as you want…"

"Why are all these kids disappearing only to return again? Why can't I see any of their faces? Who are all the faceless people I've been seeing in my dreams? Why do you insist on following me around? Are you real or are you something I made up? I already know what you are, a 'mold of my desires' as you've told me so many times, but I feel like that's _not even_ scratching the surface…" Len asked, his cobalt eyes smoldering with fury.

"These children are people you used to know, but cannot remember. They are real, they exist in your world, and they play a part in a shared past with your twin sister. I am always by your side because I am your guilt, your subconscious AND your desires wrapped up into one form. That is why you cannot see my face-it is because I am multiple facets of beings put together. I consist of the best features of the people in your life and the worst." the faceless girl explained.

"So what are you...my fantasies...or my nightmares?" Len spoke quietly, finally realizing that she was someone who represented everything he wanted _and _hated.

"I am both, that is how your mind has made me, and that is how I appear to you in your dreams." she clarified, removing her arms from his neck then announced, "Go on, go inside Len, I can discern that you wish to, so why do you insist on stopping half way? You will never know the truth unless you step past the front door Len."

"I...I know, but what if what I see is something that will ruin the last semblance of hope I have left in me? My parents are dead, I'm being blackmailed by my sister's ex-boyfriend, and I just broke up with the best girlfriend I've had so far..." Len explained, biting the tip of his thumb anxiously.

"Time does not wait for anyone, you can either wallow in self-pity or move onwards to a better life, success is not met without tremendous hardship. Even those born with the best of privileges experience this at least once. I can only motivate you so much, the rest is left to your own devices..." she said.

He took in a deep breath before stomping his way to the front porch of the unknown home. Without a second thought he placed both his hands onto the doorknob and turned it...

**A/N: I know a lot of you liked Neru, but I had to separate them for the twin's new relationship. Don't be too sad for her, she's already with Gumo and he will probably never leave her. I made their breakup clean-cut, no messy after chaos like with Rin & Kiyoteru (I wish all breakups were like this, unfortunately that's not the case).**

**Kiyoteru was perfect for the anti-hero. I needed a villain and he looked just right! A lot of zero-chan pictures have him smoking, and to me smokers/people who do drugs are really brainless (plus I have people in my family who died from smoking/drugs) so I figured he would be a great contrast to Len's lighter features. **

**I needed a lookalike of Rin to be a substitute for Len's passions. I know I could've used Lilly but I hate how her name is American. I wonder what you think Len's dreams suggest. If you get close that means I didn't do a very good job of making the mystery difficult. But that's to be expected, this is my first fanfiction afterall...**** -_-;**

**Anywho...thanks for reading and please review!**** =)**


	18. Chapter 18: Forgive Me Father

**Chapter 18: Forgive Me Father For I Have Sinned…**

Len turned the doorknob of the mysterious home and stepped inside...

He paused as he realized, _Wait a minute...I'm pretty sure I've dreamt this before or...I've BEEN here before..._

Len jerked slightly when he heard children's laughter echoing from outside, he never thought of going to the _backyard _of the house, and so he followed their voices.

For a home that was so large there was no furniture, nothing but white oak floors and grey painted walls. The house was full of light, a sharp contrast to the cold floor he walked on. When he made it to the back of the mysterious dwelling he found a sliding glass door leading to the porch outside. It was beautiful, he couldn't believe how serene the backyard looked, like something out of a summer painting: small children played like there was no such thing as school and no adults were present.

The grass was a vibrant green and was moderately overgrown. Butterflies littered the entire area, but they were specific colors: silver, gold, blue, red, white, and purple. Those were the only colors the butterflies were for some reason. He stepped onto the wooden porch and watched the little children as they ran amok in the yard.

Len sat down onto the grass and wondered_, Maybe my lost memories weren't so bad after all. Maybe I was just scared of remembering a time when I was happy, a time before all my thoughts were consumed about Rin..._

"Or maybe you have Retrograde Amnesia like a lot of victims have..." the faceless girl interrupted as he was contemplating.

Len turned to face her as he said, "I don't think I WANT to know anymore. I'm satisfied being ignorant the way I am."

He could feel her muddled features smiling at him as she proclaimed, "Would you still be content being uninformed if it meant that you're sister was broken somehow a long time ago?"

"Fuck off. The only reason she's broken is because our parents are dead..." Len murmured, plucking slices of grass off the ground.

The faceless girl laughed before she said, "What if I told you she was broken way before that, before you even lived where you do now?"

He sighed deeply and declared, "If that's the case then I can live without ever knowing what's wrong with us, especially if it means that we'll be safer that way, safer from our crazy thoughts if we knew the truth."

"You have really become a man, haven't you Len Kagamine? I guess that means you do not require my guidance anymore…..that is until you need me again..." the faceless girl stated gently.

Len stood up and asked, his eyes smoldering into her hazy features, "You're ACTUALLY laying off me this time? No more ambiguous meetings? No more mocking? No more cruelty?"

"No more _anything_ Len, you have freed yourself from guilt...and as your guilt I can fade away into the recesses of your mind once more..." she explained.

He watched as she disappeared slowly, the light penetrating her skin until you couldn't even see her any longer. Like ashes the figments of her being died away into the air, a sudden deluge of dandelions becoming freed as a strong wind passed through the backyard...

_It's better this way...being naive is being sane. _Len thought, but being naive would only drive him mad: once you know there's a secret, a secret about yourself, you _have_ to know.

"She's left you hasn't she? Now it's _my turn_ to torment you..." a deep voice stated from all around him.

Len watched as the ethereal backyard changed into a room, a bedroom. He felt his shirt tighten and looked down to see breasts where his pecks used to be and a tingling sensation on his scalp commenced as he noticed that his hair had grown an inch or two. A shining light pierced Len's eyes and he became aware that a mirror and a mattress were inside the unadorned room.

As disturbed as he already was, Len had to find out what he looked like. His reflection stunned him, he had become…..Rin.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Len shouted, touching his face and his hair which was now identical to his sister's.

A man laughed from behind Len and said, "You'll remember after I do this..."

The faceless man shoved Len onto the white mattress, and just as he was about to do something he awoke from his nightmare gasping for air.

In between erratic shallow breadths he thought, _Jesus Christ...these nightmares won't go away will they? Not until I go and search for clues..._

Len slid out of bed to change into a fresh t-shirt as his other shirt had become soaked with his sweat.

He heard a knock on his door and paused before he whispered, "Rin…...is that you?"

She didn't answer but he knew it was her, though for some reason she didn't come in, so Len opened his door to chase after her.

With her petite shoulders facing away from him he asked, "Hey, why did you knock on my door?"

Through shaky words she explained, "I had a-a nightmare about m-mom and d-dad Len.-About their c-car accident...I d-dreamt that they died in pain! That they could've survived if the a-ambulance had arrived e-earlier...I wanted to tell you, b-but then I thought you'd be annoyed because it's l-late..."

He gazed at her raw eyes, her innocent indigo eyes and whispered affectionately, "You can't annoy me, you're the only person I have left…I only have you, we only have each other...Why would you ever think that you could annoy me?"

She sniffled lightly as she said, "I think that because o-of the way you l-look at me. Like there's something b-burning inside you, something boiling u-under the surface..."

Len was silent for a longtime, and without speaking he grabbed her head and held it against his chest. She sighed deeply into the wrinkles of his shirt and relaxed as she realized he was trying to comfort her. Len led her to his bed where they held each other tight beneath his duvet.

After more than an hour of lying beside each other on his bed absorbing one another's suffering Len said in a hushed voice, "Rin...are you still awake?"

"...yes..." she replied, her warm breath hitting his neck.

"Do you feel better now?" he asked, holding her tighter.

"...yeah...I do...thank you Len..." she stated softly.

"When we're together like this, I feel so whole that it's like our parents aren't even gone..." Len said in a quiet voice.

"I feel the same...I love you Len..." Rin proclaimed faintly, her face snuggled against his chest.

"...I know you do..." he replied, caressing his lips near her temples, his skin beginning to grow warm.

"No Len….you don't understand…...I…...I love you so much that my heart swells with pain. I can't help but think that the reason our parents died is because of _us_...that their deaths were atonement for our impure love..." she clarified, her delicate shoulders starting to tremble beneath his hands.

He pushed her away at this comment and whispered loudly, "DON'T _EVER _THINK THAT WAY RIN! Do you know how difficult it is for me not to believe what you just said?! I've thought about it too, that we're responsible somehow for their deaths!-But if you say it, if...if _you_ say it then I can't help but think that we ARE responsible!"

The guilt had finally boiled over between them and Rin declared leaning up in his bed, "But Len-I've been thinking this way for so long that I can't help but consider that _it is_ TRUE! I feel like we killed them Len! We killed our parents!"

Len pressed both his hands over her mouth as he whispered, "Sshhhhh! Auntie Kay might wake up!"

Rin removed his hands from her mouth and snapped, "But we have to talk about this! It's not like it's going to go away if we don't!"

"I...I know, but we need to be quiet." Len declared slightly hushed.

"It's just that, how can we ever affirm our feelings for each other if we think we're responsible?" Rin asked, grabbing the sheets of his bed tightly as she sat.

"...We can go to a priest and confess Rin..." he answered.

"Won't that only confirm our worst thoughts? What if the priest tells us we_ are_ accountable for Mom and Dad's accident?" Rin questioned anxiously.

"Then we know we have to stop this..." Len announced, looking away as he bit his lower lip.

"NO! I don't want to, I love you Len! I love you I love you I love you! I don't know who to be without you anymore!" she shouted, her gaze watery with fresh tears.

He grasped her body firmly as he said in a low voice near her ear, "I know...just please bear with me for a moment. We have to ask a priest if our love is the reason our parents are dead before we can be together. Will you wait for me until then?"

Len held up his pinkie asking for approval, and after taking in a deep lungful of air she replied, "Al-alright, I'll wait for you."

Later that week they left to go to a church, any church would do as long as it wasn't the church they used to attend while their mother and father were still alive. It was nearing the end of December, and they bundled themselves up knowing that it might snow.

Auntie Kay stared at them as she drank her coffee and asked, "You too look awful tense. Are you guys late for a meeting or something?"

Len returned her gaze and swallowed hard before he stated, "N-no, we were just heading out, for the...the mall."

Rin looked from Len then back to Auntie Kay as she stammered, "Y-yeah, for Christmas gifts! We'll be back before 5 in the afternoon."

"Okay kids, be safe and if you need me to pick you guys up just call me." Auntie Kay announced.

They bid their guardian goodbye and headed for church.

**A/N: If you have hopeful sounding music play it now readers! Specifically music that's like...we've made it this far, we can go the whole way. For your ears if you'd like:**** YouTube: The Cinematic Orchestra - Soda watch?v=6zZj-gR4RZM**

When they arrived there they were met with an empty vestry, the twins figured most religious people were out shopping right about now so they were in luck.

Len held Rin's hand as they looked for a confession booth and when they found one he asked her, "Do you want me to go in…or do you want to ask the priest yourself? If you're scared don't be, I'm right here."

"I….I want you to ask Len. You can explain things better than I can." Rin clarified, letting go of his hand as she gradually motioned for him to go inside the wooden confessional.

He obeyed and stepped inside, closing the narrow door. He sat down for a while before he asked, "Um…sir? I…I mean Father…are you available for confessions right now?"

"I always am child. Now please recite God's lines of penance before you proceed." The priest said, his voice a deep comforting sound like a friendly grandfather's would be.

Remembering all the years he had attended church having unknowingly memorized these lines Len recited, "Bless me father for I have sinned…"

"What is your sin child, and how long has it been since you last confessed?" the priest asked.

"This is my first time confessing Father…and my sin is, that I'm in love with a girl and it is forbidden by all. We believe our love to be the reasons that both our parents are dead." Len somehow managed to state, his intertwined hands trembling madly as they rested on his lap.

Not realizing what Len meant (believing that four parents were dead, two for each of them _instead of having shared parents_), the old priest proclaimed, "God the Father of mercies through the death and resurrection of his Son, has reconciled the world to himself, and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins. Through the ministry of the Church may God grant you pardon and peace. I absolve you of your sins: In the name of the Father, The Son, and of The Holy Spirit. Amen."

"…Thank you Father…for everything." Len declared, his heart full of elation.

"You are forgiven child, just do not forget to attend church." The priest announced.

"I won't. Thank you so much." Len restated as he stepped out of the confessional in a hurry.

He reunited with Rin who was sitting at the very back of the church praying.

"Who are you praying for?" Len inquired, his smile beaming.

"For our parents Len, and for us…" She replied softly.

Rin lifted her head from her praying hands and questioned, "What did the Priest say? Is…is it alright to love you? Does our love…have validation?"

"We are freed of our sins Rin! He pardoned me with a prayer, it's OKAY! I'm so happy right now I can't even explain it in words…" Len said excitedly, his eyes having lost the darkness within them.

"So….we can be together?" Rin asked still unable to be certain of their situation.

He grinned at her before he held her chin under his hand planting a light kiss on her pouty lips as he whispered, "Is that enough to convince you?"

Len observed Rin's cheeks turn a rosy red before she whined, "_Lennnnnn_-not in the church! Just because a Priest acquitted us doesn't mean we can act all lovey-dovey wherever we want. The world won't accept us regardless…we still have to hide…from everyone else in the world…"

He embraced her as he stated affectionately, "I know…but now we can be together without guilt now. We may have to hide, but hiding is better than refusing our feelings."

Rin lifted her head from inside his arms and said, "This happiness, I hope it NEVER goes away. Mom and Dad may be gone but all they wished for was our happiness…right Len? Even if it meant…that it might hurt them, they would've wanted us to be happy…wouldn't they?"

"…..They did want us to be happy….all that parents wish for, is their children's happiness. Rin, I have something I want to show you, turn around and lift up your hair…" Len commanded.

She did as she was told and lifted the back of her locks behind her head. Rin felt Len's hands touch the flesh on the nape of her neck, and jolted as he ran his fingers over it before she felt him place something cold onto her skin. Rin gazed down to find a platinum cross necklace hanging above her breasts.

She used her index to feel the smooth metal and questioned cheerfully, "Did you buy this for me Len? If you did, it's really too much…I have nothing I can give to you that is as beautiful as this…I love it, thank you…"

"I didn't buy it…so you don't have to worry about getting anything in return. Our…our parents were going to give this to us this Christmas. Auntie Kay handed it to me saying that it was 'part of their will…for our 18th birthday'.-But I hid it from you waiting for the moment when God would finally accept us…" Len explained showing her an identical platinum cross necklace dangling near his collar.

"This is from Mom and Dad? I….I miss them so much Len. I wish they were here." Rin said, leaning her head on his shoulder, sadness swelling in her voice.

"Me too, tough I'm sure they're smiling at us from heaven right now…" Len proclaimed.

The twins gazed up at the sky and noticed that snow had begun to fall, fresh feather-like snow. The earth was covered in a thick icing of white. Out of nowhere Rin unexpectedly pushed Len hard, shoving him onto the front lawn of the church.

He rubbed his butt declaring agitatedly, "Hey! Just because I love you does it mean that you can push me around!"

Rin smirked at him flirtatiously and said, "Oh yeah? Come say that to my face lover boy!"

Len blushed ferociously before he tackled her onto the ground, the snow cushioning their fall. He laid on top of Rin and brushed some of her flaxen hair away from her eyes as he thought, _Why did I ever wait so long to be this happy?_

She lifted her mouth to his lips and gave him a little peck before she announced, "I have something for you too, but I can't wait until Christmas to give it to you…"

Rin raised her arm to show that inside her tiny hands were two silver rings which had carved within them: an infinity sign in between their names.

His eyes widened as he took a look at them and said, "Whoa-they match the necklaces our parents gave us exactly…"

"I think it's a sign that our love will last long after we're gone…" Rin proclaimed tenderly.

What they didn't know was that their love was something they had already experienced before...many years ago.

**A/N: I apologize everyone that its taken so long, but life has been really hectic for me as of late. I work part-time at a mall and the Christmas customers are assholes (not all of them mind you, some of them are really nice), so you can see my dilemma here. I put a bunch of fluff bull-crap in here. With any luck it made up for my lack of submissions recently.**

**If you haven't become aware of this then you might want to do a re-read (if you want to) but many of the themes from Len's dreams are being reintroduced. In a few chapters you'll find out the secret. I was going to make this a tragedy but then I thought, nah, too depressing. The ending will have something that happens in real-life (though EXTREMELY RARE) that might surprise and disgust you.**

**Well happy holidays to you all. I wish each and every one of you an awesome winter break (if you're still in school like me).**

**I want to personally thank you folks that voted on my music poll. It makes me happy knowing I've got good taste in music. One of you suggested a song to use, but I don't want to use songs from animes that have the incest theme (I want to use unrelated music, music that evokes certain emotions).**

**-And a big thumbs up to anyone who has stuck with me so far in my **_**first story ever written online**_**! I thought I was a shitty writer. I remember my 6th grade teacher criticizing me for having stories that weren't realistic enough. I was only 11, I don't know why she said that lol.**

**I hope that the writing I have now isn't like everyone else's, that's all I was really aiming for this year. **

**Best wishes and please review!**** XD**


	19. Chapter 19: The Warmth Of Her Skin

**Chapter 19: The Warmth Of Her Skin…**

Life was but a dream for Len Kagamine now that he and Rin were as close as they were. He couldn't wipe that stupid grin off his face, and he wished in the depths of his heart he would never have to.

Their 18th birthday came and passed, their friends sending best wishes and cards through Facebook and their mailbox. Aunt Kagamine was never really good at giving gifts. The best she could do was hand them two envelops with a hundred dollar bill in each of them. They were given a cake and coincidentally wished for the same thing, for their unnatural happiness to never end, but like countless wishes…many never come true.

The twins were closer than ever, nothing could break them, nothing accept the truth and Len (who believed he could be happy ignorant) was incredibly wrong with this impression in his mind.

They spent every waking moment of their winter break together, growing more and more in love, and like most people, that love had to be satisfied in some way.

Rin and Len had gone after Christmas shopping for all the great deals in a factory outlet that they knew not a single one of their friends would ever go to. It was out of town, in the rural areas of wine country and snow had arrived there as well.

"Let's buy something Len!-Something we can use together." Rin declared smiling, a faint blush painting her cheeks.

Len grinned at her lightly before he replied, "Sure…you pick. I'll just browse around."

They were inside a multipurpose store that carried groceries, medicines, clothing, and other miscellaneous products. Without realizing it Len had walked into the Sexual Protection aisle, Rin having gone into a clothes section.

He froze as his eyes met the condoms section, his heart beginning to thrum inside his chest.

_Eventually we'll get to that point….it's only natural to want to make love to her. But will she get mad at me?!_ _Will Rin think I'm a douchebag for trying to sleep with her?-But she knows I love her right? _Len thought uneasily, his fists clenched tight.

He tippy toed and looked over the shelves at Rin in the clothes area, watching diligently as she sifted through some scarves.

"Agggghhhhh! I can't ask her! It's too embarrassing god-damn it!" Len stated allowed, ruffling up his blonde hair which ruined his ponytail.

Out of nowhere he heard Rin say, "Umm…Len? Are you okay? You ruined your hair."

He turned around and was met with her trusting blue eyes, then looked back at the condoms right in front of him and said, "Uh…can you get some snacks for us? I'll meet you at the cash register in a little bit."

Len gradually pushed her out of the Sexual Protection aisle and waited for her to be far away enough so that he could grab a pack of condoms. He ran for the cash register and threw in a tabloid magazine at the last minute to hide his "other" purchase. What was even more awkward was that the cashier was an attractive young female who was around his age, 19 or so.

She smiled at him as she brushed her long dark brown hair out of her eyes before she asked, "Would you like your recite sir?"

Len whipped his head in the direction Rin was before he stammered, "N-no! That's Okay! Th-thanks!"

The pretty cashier handed him his change which he dropped onto the counter like a clumsy oaf and then he grabbed his plastic bag and sped-walked back to where Rin was.

"Oh, you bought something? What'd you get?" Rin questioned sweetly, her gaze completely unaware of his intentions.

"Conduhhhhh-a magazine!" Len replied, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous manner.

"Well I got some snacks and a scarf so that while we watch movies later today we'll both be warm." Rin announced thoughtfully.

She then proceeded to brush her hands through his blonde locks, fixing the mess he had made after ruffling it up. The tips of her fingers were soothingly warm as she brushed them over his skin.

He clasped her palm gently holding it against his cheek as he said in a hushed voice, "It feels wonderful doesn't it? To not be ridiculed by people. To these strangers we're just a "normal couple", but in our town…we'd be considered freaks…"

Rin returned his serious expression before she proclaimed, "That's why when we go to college we have to get out of this state. Too many people know that we're…we're related. I know it's problematic now Len, but you'll see! In college we'll have new friends and a new life, everything will be perfect…"

Len knew she was right, but he couldn't help but feel something was about to go horribly wrong. They had agreed to apply to the same University out of state, away from judging eyes. Their community was large, and they had to start anew in order to carry out their immoral relationship.

The twins went home, popped in a movie, and sat enjoying one another's company.

It was a romance movie, the man and woman living parallel lives but never meeting for many years, their stories split by a black line in the middle of the TV screen. Whenever the man would do something on the right, the woman would do something similar in her own life on the left. Eventually a day came where the black line in the middle of the screen disappeared, as they had finally met.

The woman in the movie smiled at the man before she said, "Hi…"

The man grinned widely and the screen cuts black, the credits begin to roll. Len can feel Rin's soft body cuddling itself onto his torso, and his heart starts to beat fast as he recalls buying condoms earlier that day.

He looks down at her as she relaxes on his chest before he asks, "Rin….are you tired? You want to take a nap with me?"

Len's question is innocent. He doesn't intend on trying to seduce her…all he wants is to hold her closely as they sleep. What he doesn't apprehend is his failure to keep his urges in check.

Rin rubs her eyes somewhat before she mumbles, "Mmmm, sure Len…"

They hold hands as they walk to Rin's bedroom, and once inside they flop onto her bed.

Just as they're starting to get comfortable beneath her blanket Rin abruptly gets out of bed as she mutters, "Bathroooommm…"

He watches as she steps out of the room, her panties clearly visible under her thin sleeping clothes. Len suddenly realizes that this is their first time sleeping together since they have admitted that they are in love.

_Holy shit, this is the first time we've slept together since we've admitted the truth about our feelings! No one is crying this time, neither of us had a nightmare…we're just doing it for the sake of being together…_Len grasps.

When Rin returns he tells her, "Rin!-I don't know if you get this or not, but this is our first time together for the sake of just…well…..being together!"

She doesn't return his enthusiasm and she mumbles, "But we alwayssss sleep togetherrrr…"

"Not like this we haven't…" Len whispers.

Rin misunderstands what Len means and she crossly announces, "Are you trying to sleep with me Len?"

His eyes bulge before he explains, "N-no! I'm not trying to! B-but if you wanted to I wouldn't mind…Aaagghhhh! What I mean is this is the first time we've slept as in "actual sleeping" since I've told you….that I love you."

Rin is awake now and her face only shows clear amusement as she declares, "Would you still love me Len…if I told you that you could never have me the way you want?"

Her declaration is harsh, but inside Rin is contemplating, _Making love is the final stop of all relationships. If I got pregnant, what would the child be like? Would they be normal? Would you believe our love to still be special if we had a child that was deformed Len? There are so many variables to our love that I'm scared of going all the way…_

He was quiet for a long time before he affirmed, "I would still love you even if you weren't a _girl_. It's who you are as a person that I love most about you Rin. It just so happens that you're female, but to me that never really mattered, so even if we never "did it", I'd still be the happiest man on earth…"

"I know that you love me more than anyone Len, but have you thought about the consequences? What would happen if I got pregnant?" Rin questioned, her gaze incredibly stern.

"Of course I've thought about that…but we would _never_ do it without protection. I promise you this…" Len declared honestly.

After a long bout of silence between them Rin stated, "I want to show you how much I love you, but I'm not ready for that. I'm so afraid of what will happen if we get caught, if others will find out…we'll go to jail Len."

Len placed both his hands on his head frustratedly as he proclaimed, "I know that! It's the very reason I've lied to myself all this time! I wanted to protect you, but I can't anymore. These god damn feelings are suffocating, they're strangling us both Rin! How can we cope knowing we can never be together in _that way_?!"

"I think, I think that our love as it is _now_ is enough Len…" Rin answered sitting on her bed beside him.

He gazed at her, his face full of misery before he said, "I want to tell you that it is enough. That our love can be stronger than anything, but how can it be stronger than our yearning? I want you so bad….that it feels like I'm drowning in my own pent up desire for you…"

Rin inhaled deeply before she declared, "It's the same for me too Len. I want to touch you and be one person, but I know that if we go all the way…..then there's no way for us to stay as the way we are now…naïve of the pleasure."

She was right, without even having had sex they both knew that the pleasure would be so intoxicating that they could never be in love anymore without having to express it in a _physical way_. The way they were now was the only way to avoid prosecution by the law, their friends, and their family.

Len pulled her on top of him and whispered, "Since we can't do it just please stay like this, as close to me as you can possibly get. I know you think I can't handle you being near me….but I can, however little. This is kind of embarrassing, but I just need you to be close to me…"

Rin obeyed and laid atop him as he ran his fingers through her locks, soon she was fast asleep. Len would soon plunge into slumber land after her, the faceless girl being nowhere in sight.

It would be the first of two dreams he would have about Rin and his struggles to keep his hands to himself. This particular dream he found himself inside a candy shop similar to the one he visited during his trip to Gumi and Gumo's beach house.

Len looked down and noticed he was dressed like a schoolboy from the 1950s: with black suspenders, a red bowtie, knee high socks and a brown satchel slung over his back.

But clearly he was too old to be wearing elementary clothes, he was already 18 now and he pondered, _Okay, so I'm a grown man in kid's clothes. Ah whatever, it doesn't matter….hmmm, what do my dreams have in store for me today? Well…at least the faceless girl isn't here trying to make me mad…_

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard an imaginary Rin shout, "Len! We'll be late!"

Len turned his head in her direction and found his sister wearing similar 1950s school clothes: a red plaid uniform with puffed up white sleeves, a red bow, thigh high socks and black Mary Jane shoes. He immediately wondered if his dreams were trying to simulate real life. Although they had uniforms at their high school they were far from what they were wearing now.

He gazed at dream Rin playfully and asked, "What are we late for exactly?"

Dream Rin grinned at him and lifted her skirt up just before her panties showed and announced, "Physical examinations of course, that is…unless you want to examine me first?"

He gulped hard before he muttered, "That's a…..a joke right?"

"Not if you don't want it to be…" Dream Rin told him, sliding her childish uniform down exposing a bare shoulder.

"Holy fuck." was all Len could say.

He hastily shoved her onto the floor of the candy shop they were in. Just as he was about to kiss Dream Rin she whipped out a swirly lollipop in front of her mouth and said, "I want you to lick it before you kiss me, so that your tongue will taste sweet…"

He wanted to cry out of his perverted delight for her. Although Len recognized everything was just a dream he knew he couldn't have Rin in real life, so instead of refusing himself the pleasure (like he usually did fearing it would change his real life morals) he indulged in his longing.

He followed her demands and ran his tongue over the lollipop; it was sweet like cotton candy.

Len afterwards ripped the lollipop out of her hands saying, "Now can I kiss you?"

"Yes…" Dream Rin whispered.

He dug his mouth into Dream Rin's sweetened lips, and their tongues danced around each other. It felt great, though he knew it wasn't real it was satisfying…until dream Rin asked for more.

"I want you to fuck me…" she said, her face exquisitely wild with desire.

Len paused before he said, "I know you're not real and all, but that is something Rin would _never _say…"

Dream Rin pouted before she proclaimed, "Fine, is this better? Len I want us to be whole. I want to feel all of you…forever…"

He was just about to say 'that was pretty good' but was interrupted by another Rin screaming, "NO! Don't do it Len!-It's not the same thing as if it were to happen in real life!"

He turned in the other Rin's direction. She was wearing the same exact clothes as his real life sister. It surprised him to the point he woke up.

Len opened his eyes and stared down at Rin sleeping beside him, her long eyelashes draping her soft face. He breathed hard as he looked at her, his hands trembling to keep them away from her skin as he thought, _Cool down Len, it was just a dream. It was only a coincidence that imaginary Rin was wearing the same clothes as real Rin. It was only a dream, now breath, just breathe…_

Night two was the same as night one, except Len's dreams were a bit different this time. This time they went straight to his lust for her, no flirtatious conversations beforehand.

Another version of Rin visited his dreams, but this reverie she wasn't wearing ANY clothes. Having remembered that memory he saw her changing as he hid in her closet so long ago, her unclothed flesh presented itself before him awaiting his touch.

Len's breathing was rapid and shallow as he gazed at her. The further he denied himself in real life, the more sexual his dreams became.

"What are you waiting for Len? I know you want me…" Nude Rin proclaimed pointing at his erection.

He was embarrassed as he grasped that he too was naked and crossed her legs trying to hide his package.

Nude Rin giggled before she declared, "Don't be shy! I've seen you naked many times before when we were younger. Your delicates are nothing new to me…"

"I know, but that doesn't count. Now that we're adults it's really different. It isn't the same as when kids take baths together…there are no sexual feelings there." Len explained, his hands cupping his crotch as he fiddled trying to hide himself.

"Oh, is that so? Are you sure about that Len? You've loved her for so long…are you positive _only now_ you've come to lust for her?" Nude Rin taunted.

"Why do you say that? Of course it's the truth! Little kids may have crushes but crushes aren't the same as falling in love…" Len clarified.

"Well in your case that isn't entirely true…" Nude Rin murmured.

She left him on a cliffhanger, that was it…the dream was over. Len wasn't certain what Nude Rin was implying, and for some offbeat reason…her speech pattern reminded him of the faceless girl.

Len brushed off these hasty beliefs and tomorrow like all days arrived. Sacrificing thinking about his problems would unfortunately transfer to his body's inability to keep control of itself…

The next night arrived and the twins slept in the same bed again, this time in Len's room. Where was their Aunt you might ask? Well, she was working another late night shift at the hospital trying to make ends-meat. Aunt Kagamine's unpredictable work hours were a good thing for their relationship. This way they could be together without being caught, but it would also make them complacent.

This particular evening was a repeat of the night before, however today Len couldn't stop himself from shaking even though it wasn't that cold in his room because the heater was on. He wouldn't even dream tonight.

Rin was spooning him waiting for sleep to capture her, but she couldn't help but be aware of Len's quivering body.

"Len, are you alright? You haven't stopped shaking since we crawled into bed…" she asked, her voice hinting concern.

He exhaled and said, "I don't really want to talk about it…"

"Why not?" Rin questioned, resting her head lightly against his neck.

"Don't do that!" Len shouted, raising himself in his bed throwing her an agitated look.

Her delicate expression showed fear before she whispered, "Don't you…..love me? Why are you so cross right now?"

"That's the problem! Don't you see that I'm going mad trying not to touch you!? Every time you touch me, I become a little more insane Rin! It's like flaunting water in front of someone dying from thirst!" he shouted.

Rin never knew his urges were that bad, but she held her ground as she stated, "I didn't know it was so difficult for you Len. But you know we can't…we can never ever _ever _do that…"

"That's why it's driving me mad! Maybe we should've just never started sleeping together! I'm so close to my breaking point that I just…..I just-!" Len declared loudly before he was hushed by Rin's soft lips.

"You just what…?" Rin cooed, caressing her cheek against his.

"I just…love you so much that I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like my body is going haywire…" Len confessed.

Rin was quiet for a longtime and Len mistook this as a sign he could go further. Her heart was beating violently under his fingers making him believe this notion in his head to be true.

She jolted when he began to kiss her fiercely, his shaking palms restless as they made their way up her shirt.

"Nnnnnggg, w-what are you doing Len?" Rin inquired tensely.

He kissed her softly before he said, "I thought I felt you wanting me to go all the way…"

"No Len! Just because you feel that way does that mean it's the same for me!" she proclaimed crossly.

"But how can we manage? I don't know if I can stop myself anymore, my emotions are consuming me…" Len whispered.

Rin frowned at him and retorted, "It's always about you isn't it? Your feelings, your emotions, what about me?! Do you not understand how challenging it is for me not to let you have me? I want to do it also! You're not the only one fighting with themselves!"

Len drew her near and whispered, "Then why don't we? Why not just give in?"

"Stop it! You don't get it do you?!" Rin screamed as she pushed him off.

She left his room in a fury. He suddenly heard bustling in her room then the front door slam shut.

He covered his face in his hands as he muttered, "What the fuck have I done? I should've not pressured her. I have to repair this…"

**A/N: Time for some serious ambient music readers! My proposal if you'd like:**** YouTube: Hammock – Tornado watch?v=_OCWiRV25Og **

In a mad rush Len took only a jacket and ran outdoors. There was a fresh layer of snow on the ground and the air bit at his skin once he was outside, his breath fully visible.

Len didn't care if the neighbors woke up and he screamed into the night, "RIIIIIIIIINNNN!? RIIIIIIIINNNN WHERE ARE YOU!? I'M SORRY!"

He recognized that even if he yelled for her and she heard it, that she wouldn't respond. So he immediately began running. The frigid winter air was cruel and unforgiving, it scratched by Len's face making his flesh become rosy. It was identical to that time several months ago when all their problems began. That time when she left him at the train station by himself on their way home.

He sprinted and sprinted and sprinted all the while as he thought, _Fuck! All I do is make the only person I care about hate me! Why is this happening again?! Why didn't I notice not to keep pushing myself onto her!? _

And like before he tried the three parks, and identical to that previous situation he found her in the same park she ran away to during their junior year.

Len's rapid horse breathing cut the soundless air startling Rin as he declared, "W-why did you make it s-so easy for me to f-find you?"

She met his stare and said in a hushed voice, "Somehow I always find my way back to you...even though I don't intentionally mean for it to happen…"

He smiled at her wearily and stated, "It's serendipity. We'll always find our way back to one another...like when river water meets the ocean."

She didn't return his smile and stated softly, "Why Len? Why did you keep at it? You know we can't do what we both want…..however challenging it may be…we must remain strong."

And that is one reason he loved Rin so much, her infallible courage to hold her ground.

His cerulean eyes burned into hers as he whispered, "I know that it is forbidden, but how long can we survive being this way? Do you really believe we can keep this up? Day in and day out doing the same things over and over…for me just kissing is no longer enough…I'm sorry Rin…"

Rin swallowed hard and shut her gaze tight as she thought, _I can't convince him anymore that our love is enough. I can't even convince myself any longer if we can remain like this. I love you so much Len….that I guess I'm willing to give myself to you even if it might destroy us…_

"Alright." Rin said, her blue eyes shutting open.

"…Alright what?" Len asked, the freezing winter air passing in between them.

She walked towards Len and slowly embraced him as she proclaimed gently, "I'm going to…..finally give myself to you. Not today of course, but when I'm ready I'll tell you. I'll no longer deny this one thing we both want. I'm sorry for being so mean about it. I just don't want our love to be seen as ugly by other people, because if anymore knew about us, they'd surely think our love to be disgusting…"

Everything she said was undeniably true making Len comprehend, _One slip up and we're done. If even one person knew…our freedom will be gone._

The two then started walking back home, their hands being tightly interlocked. The snow outside was like an ocean of all their sorrows layered on the ground. He watched Rin from the corner of his vision, her breath creating white tufts of air. The only sound in the blackness of that night was the subtle crunch of their footsteps in the snow as they walked.

Len stared up at the sky, at the pitch black ceiling above them that was littered in silver stars and thought, _If our love is so wrong…why does it feel like it's the only pure thing left in the world?_

His beliefs couldn't have been more wrong…

**A/N: Rofl, getting protection is always an awkward experience. I hope I got some laughs out of you ladies and gents in the beginning of Chapter 19.**

**On a side note, I know it's daunting reading something so very realistic, but I wanted to tug at people's heart strings from time to time. But in all good fun, I just wanted to be different. Let's break free from the mold of stereotypical stories: throw in some mental cognition and then we're going somewhere. "The Start Of Something Sinister" is in the year 2008 currently, and it will end in 2017 (whoa the futureeee). **

**My biggest goal for this year is to finish this story before Summer Break since I'm probably going to Summer School.**** :(**

**Yeah, that sounds good. **

**Spoiler alert! If paranoia is getting to you don't worry: neither of the twins will die. It's not going to follow that plot line. I guarantee you that.**

**Don't forget to review!**** ;) **


	20. Chapter 20: Rin's Dreams, Len's Fears

**Chapter 20: Rin's Dreams, Len's Fears**

The twins agreed that eventually they'd get to the point of going all the way. The penalties no longer outweighed their lust…and it didn't matter to them, they were two happy doomed fools in love.

It was getting to the middle of January and school was going to begin soon. If Len was ever going to visit his old neighborhood to help jog his memories, to assist himself in getting clues…he had to do it now while he wasn't busy.

But Len wasn't concerned about what the faceless girl in his dreams had told him. He expressed to the faceless girl that he didn't want to know…that was however until Rin would force him into action.

A few days after their fight Aunt Kagamine had gotten home from another long day at the hospital and threw her keys onto the kitchen table as she yelled, "Rin! Len! Are you guys still up? You want me to make you both something to eat?"

It was 10 at night and another deluge of snow had visited their small community.

Auntie Kay shivered as she thought, _How come those kids don't turn on the heater? It's freezing! Maybe my brother was cheap when it came to electricity bills…_

She then went upstairs and turned on the heater on the second floor. Auntie Kay proceeded to check Rin's bedroom. After knocking gently she found that her niece was not in her room, so she wondered if maybe her nephew was home since Rin seemed to be out. She figured being the young adults they were, that they might've been hanging out with their friends.

But she was mistaken.

She knocked on Len's door, and when there was no answer she opened it. Inside she found her niece and nephew sleeping in the same bed hugging tightly appearing innocent as they both rested. An odd feeling passed through Auntie Kay's chest before she realized, _Their parents are dead…they're trying to endure the pain together somehow. I guess I can allow this, since they're still in mourning. I suppose this is the only way for Rin and Len to lessen their agony…_

She closed his door slowly glancing over them one last time before she thought, _For now this is okay…but if this persists for a longtime…I'm going to get them a family counselor to help them deal with the loss of my brother and his wife. _

Their Aunt left the two to sleep as they were. They were in luck. Aunt Kagamine was ignorant of how much time they actually spent together. If she had paid a bit more attention, she would've noticed they hadn't hung out with _any_ of their friends the entire winter break.-But she was so busy with adjusting to her new life and work that she couldn't have possibly noticed.

So the twins remained asleep, and although their nap together was peaceful…..something went wrong in Rin's dreams, something went terribly wrong.

She awoke in her reverie world to find herself floating in the clouds which looked more like cotton balls than anything you'd see in real life.

"Where…where am I?" Rin asked aloud.

She crawled on her hands and knees on the fluffy soft ground until her palms felt an object that was rather hard. Rin stared down to see a child's face completely consumed with butterflies. She shrieked as she recognized that the butterflies had been eating him, or eating what was _left _of him.

Rin wanted to vomit but she quickly stood up and kept running in the clouds when out of nowhere she fell from the sky into a room. It was an incredibly bland room with nothing but white oak floors and grey walls.

"H-hello? Is anyone home?" Rin questioned holding her intertwined hands near her chest.

A door behind her abruptly slammed followed by heavy footsteps treading near her. She couldn't turn around, everything seemed like it was set up from a horror movie and she was the attractive young female who was about to be murdered.

But instead of finding a middle-aged man about to kill her wearing an obscene mask she found Len.

"Oh…it's just you…" Rin proclaimed letting her guard down.

Len smiled at her sadistically and shoved her onto the cold rigid floor. He persisted to remove her clothes, and suddenly she felt something warm and stiff enter inside her. She was getting raped in her dreams, but oddly enough it felt _good_.

"N-noooo! S-stop it Len…nnnnnnn…" Rin pleaded, her head being pushed onto the ground.

Instead of expecting an evil Len to reply she heard him say, "I…I can't! I'm s-sorry Rin!"

_What do you mean you're sorry? If you were sorry then you would have the ability to stop yourself, _Rin thought turning her head to stare at Dream Len whilst he continued to fuck her from behind.

She panted heavily as she gasped, "I-if you love me then y-you'll stop!"

He shot her a desperate gaze before he replied, "We can't! It feels so fucking good! I want to but we'll die if we don't!"

She wasn't exactly sure what Dream Len meant. Did he mean that they'll go crazy if they can never have sex or that they'll be killed if they don't? Nothing made sense to her, all Rin knew was that although he was violating her that it felt wonderful.

Against her own will she shouted, "Don't stop Len! Stay inside me!"

Len grunted before he flipped her over so their eyes could meet while they fucked. Her body rocked back and forth as he rode her. They couldn't look away from one another, everything was so perfect, everything was so…

*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGG GGGG*

Rin had become deaf.

Someone had shot a gun and without her noticing it Dream Len had been executed while they were in the throws of passion. He had cum inside her right before he died and now his lifeless body rest limply on her breast. She screamed and held his body close to her own. Her cries of agony did not go ignored, for they had made their way into the real world.

"-Rin! Rin are you okay?" Len asked her shaking her a bit trying to remove her from her nightmare.

Rin opened her eyes to find herself still inside Len's room with her brother resting next to her in his bed. She immediately began to shudder refusing to show him tears not wanting to ruin their so very brittle happiness.

Len looked at her, his eyes strewn with worry before he asked, "Common…..tell me your dream. People don't scream as they sleep unless they had a nightmare. You can tell me anything…"

She swallowed back her unfallen cries then whispered, "I'll tell you if you p-promise not to get any weird ideas…"

"I promise." He replied, his voice being as honest as person's can be.

"We…..I dreamt that we were making love, and then you got killed in the process. I know it sounds s-stupid but I think it means something important…" Rin stated, her blue pupils shining with terror.

"Is that all?" Len questioned.

"No…..we were also in a really weird house. A house with no furniture.-And there were butterflies eating people! It was awful Len!" Rin explained.

Len's face nearly showed emotion but he knew he had to hide it so instead he smiled gently at her.

He then kissed her on the forehead before he said in a hushed voice, "It was just a dream Rin. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere…"

She was soon fast asleep again, her light breathing brushing against his neck. Although Len's eyes were closed he was wide awake as he contemplated, _That's it. I thought I could live without knowing but if Rin's having similar dreams then it's not just her drawings that are merely a coincidence anymore. Our past has something to do with it. Jesus Christ…..I feel like I'm about to discover why our parents are dead, why we love each other as much as we do, or why I've always felt this lingering emotion in my heart for her... _

Len had to leave now and return just before daybreak so that Rin would not notice he's been gone. If he didn't go at this very moment in the middle of the night, then she would want to tag along in his search for clues in the morning. This was _his_ problem. He's the one who's been having such dreams for months now….But it was no longer just him having such problems. Similar dreams have begun to plague Rin, so before they could get worse he had to find out why…alone.

**A/N: Find something gloomy to listen to. Here's my input, hope it's good to your ears!:**** YouTube: Ólafur Arnalds – Near Light watch?v=0kYc55bXJFI**

He changed into some thicker winter attire before he took the late night circuit train to his old neighborhood. Len was the only one riding excluding a snoozing old man who had probably slept through his stop. Once he got off he began his solitary forty minute walk to his old neighborhood.

The snow was falling abnormally slowly, to the point they virtually didn't seem like they were falling at all…..…almost like feathers suspended in the air. The night was deserted and soundless. It was as if Len was the only person on the planet outside right now…and at that moment, it really did feel that way to him.

He reached the end of the street that led into his old neighborhood. The houses were exactly as when his family had left them, except the trees were now incredibly large and they made the street he was on even darker. The shadows they cast were all consuming and Len sensed as though walking slowly would simply make him more uncomfortable so he increased his pace.

His footsteps seemed louder than usual, and he noticed it so Len attempted to soften the steps he was making. He was so busy trying to keep quiet that without realizing it he was already in front of his old home. The red roof and yellow door reminded him of his parents and how so many times they had walked through that door greeting him and his sister after they had been driven home by the school bus. Strangers now lived in his old house, and they appeared to all be asleep.

And that's when Len recognized he should've made a plan before he left. _I never thought that someone might live in the mysterious home. I just went for it without thinking after Rin told me about her nightmare. I feel so fucking stupid right now. No strangers are going to let some random person in their home at 3 am in the morning! They'll probably call the police on me….or worse they might think I'm a burglar and try to kill me…_

But despite this Len knew he had to keep onwards. He took in a frightened deep breath and kept walking. He didn't know where the mysterious home exactly was, but he didn't need to. His body knew exactly where that home was and his feet led him to where he was afraid of most.

There it was….the house with the indigo roof and yellow shudders.

No one was currently living in that residence. It was foreclosed with a lease logo in the front window and a realtor picket sign on the front lawn giving Len an opportunity to investigate. The grass was dead and reasonably overgrown to the point they reached above his Converse High-tops. Terror had slowly crept up into his heart and it finally sunk in…that this was it…the end of his journey.

He tried the first thing he could think of: seeing if the entrance was locked. He shook the doorknob, it was shut tight. The realtors probably had the key to the abandoned house and were now in charge of it.

"Fuck…how am I supposed to get in?" he whispered aloud, his breath like a ghost's tail.

Just then a butterfly passed by him and hit the window on his left. His eyes widened as he understood that this was no dream, the butterflies were real….and everything was tangible. All that he saw now was in the present: everything was physical. Whatever happens to him here would result in genuine consequences, nothing like in his fantasy world.

Despite this unyielding reality he dug through the unpleasantly frigid snow with his naked hands searching for a rock. Once he had found one he lifted it from the ground and searched for a window that was farthest from the neighbors surrounding it. Len placed the baseball-sized rock into his jacket's pocket and jumped over the wooden fence into the backyard with almost no sound.

He gazed at the unkempt yard that was behind the mysterious house. It was identical to his dreams: the wooden back porch, the sliding glass door…..even the aura was the same. He was as silent as a burglar could be as he tread over the snow to an isolated spot around the residence.

Once Len built enough courage he held his breath and threw the rock at the window as hard as he could imagining it to be Kiyoteru's face. A loud shatter echoed throughout the sleeping old neighborhood. He immediately ducked down wondering if the people next door had woken up. After a few minutes without response Len came to the conclusion that because most people's heaters were on/because sleep tends to be deeper in the winter that very few people had heard, and he was right. Not only that, but the houses were built generously far apart. The area between homes was far enough to fit another two houses in between.

Len succeeded to use the sleeves of his thick winter coat to remove the remaining pieces of glass from the window frame so that he could slide in. He nudged himself into the narrow opening and fell into the cryptic dwelling…

His heart was beating so fast he couldn't even think. Len was finally in the place that haunted his every nightmare, and the most bloodcurdling thing about it was…his nightmares hadn't changed a thing about its appearance.

The exact plain grey walls adorned every room, and the pale white oak wooden floors draped the entire floor.

He wiped the sweat off his forehead in fear as he wondered, _What should I do now….? Usually the faceless girl comes and guides me to where I should go, but this is reality. She doesn't exist here…right?_

Instant panic engulfed his mind as he thought about the possibility of ghosts being inside the house he had just broken into. But he knew even if that might've been the case he would be willing to risk that chance if it meant saving Rin from experiencing more nightmares like his own.

He slowly walked from quarter to quarter hoping to remember something, but nothing came to him. The blue light from the moon shone into every area of the ambiguous home making Len feel a little less scared as he continued his investigation. He had inspected every place inside the residence, but not one thing gave him memories.

Zero aspects about the empty house jogged his thoughts about his past…that is….until he heard something making noises down the hall.

The strange house had two floors, and Len believed he had thoroughly checked both upstairs and downstairs, but he was wrong. There was a pull-down stairway leading to an attic….

The thumping sound was coming from behind that small pull-down staircase on the ceiling.

Len gazed up at it and muttered out loud trying to encourage himself, "It is n-now…..or never Len. You have to do this….for….for Rin's sake…"

**A/N: Time for more heart-wrenching stuff to listen to. This is another one by the same artist (you might want to repeat it): ****YouTube: Ólafur Arnalds – Rain watch?v=5fwFTdVhqx4**

With shaking hands he pulled down the lever revealing yet another room he had yet to inspect. The creaking of the staircase's hinges was deafening as he finally finished dragging it to the floor. A large amount of dust became freed from the attic and fell onto him as he tried to see what was up there.

His heart was thrumming so aggressively in his chest that he could hear it pounding in his ears. Len placed a single quivering foot onto the pull-down staircase, and one step at a time went up towards the attic.

He had made it to the top and crawled on hands and knees, his body having become exceedingly weak from his own fear as he tried to stand. Len had discovered however what was making all the eerie thuds in the attic.

A small butterfly sanctuary was housed in this odd room with dozens of matching pairs each with their own separate cages in a corner of the loft. A perfectly round window at the back of the attic was the only thing in the area permitting moonlight in for Len to witness the butterfly nets and cages. But that wasn't the only thing up there. Len unexpectedly had found his forgotten memories.

In that instant….he remembered everything…

"There…there used to be a white mattress by the attic window…." Len muttered, tears welling up in the sharp corners of his eyes.

Recollections of having been forced to have sex with Rin when they were little by their family-oriented neighbor (whom had his own children) all started to flood back into his awareness.

He recalled the summers they spent being watched by an old couple across the street and how that's the reason their problems began. Their old babysitters occasionally fell asleep on duty and during that time the Facelessman, their neighbor who lived down the street used to take advantage of this.

Rin and Len were by no means his only victims, they were just…his favorites…he used them the most of all the other little kids on the block.

Len wept collapsing onto his knees bawling hysterically, "We w-were v-victims! Our love was never special! I'm s-sorry Rin! I can't touch you anymore k-knowing the truth! I'M SO FUCKING SORRYYYYYY!"

Their love was the result of a horrid past they had suppressed in the deepest parts of their conscience. It explained everything: why Len never found other girls attractive and why the girls he had dated always resembled Rin however faintly.

It also explained that lingering feeling he had about them being "special". No one else they knew had such a traumatic childhood, and because of that they had unknowingly developed a romance that was seeded by torture.

Len swallowed hard as he proclaimed in between heavy sobs, "I c-can't continue our relationship….I can't s-see Rin the same way a-anymore. I was stupid t-thinking that we were m-meant to be. She w-was destroyed b-by my own hands a-a long time ago…..and I c-could've stopped it!"

Yes…..Len could've ended their childhood torment. His twin sister would have been saved if he knew the secrets to their freedom.

The worst part was, he only found out about it once it was too late to save them both…

**A/N: I know some of you figured out my plot already as soon as I introduced the Facelessman, but that's okay…it was to be expected. As a victim of child molestation myself this story hits as close to home as it gets. **

_**Boys get molested too**_**, and I wanted to show that it could happen to anyone, and that sometimes it's better to forget it all so you won't EVER have to forgive. **

**I know this is really heavy, but it's the world we live in and even though Len's story isn't exactly mine it shares this one aspect. I'll explain what happened to them in their past further in the next chapter. I got pretty worked up writing this when I remembered my own past, so it might take me a while to submit the next chapter.**

**As for the incest part that's just something I added to help Len figure out his past (I never experienced incest thank goodness for that). Incest in real life is the result of people being isolated and seeking refuge from family in inappropriate ways (if it's consensual). So for Rin & Len it's no different. Their past is extreme; therefore there love is a result of that extreme past. **

**If anyone you know ever needs help with: suicide, spousal abuse, rape, depression, etc. please visit Peace Over Violence or the National Domestic Abuse Hotline. I hope none of you will experience this and if you have I know you're stronger because of it. **

**Please don't forget to review if you appreciate this story or if you have your own story to tell by all means just let it all out. You can pm if you wish but I'm no expert so if you're having these very problems talk to a licensed professional first or to family/friends. I've told my parents about it a few years back and I've been able to move on/and become stronger because of it.**

**Always speak out for yourself and don't be afraid to do so, b/c you'll never know who's watching and gaining courage from your bravery. **


	21. Chapter 21: His Averted Gaze

**Chapter 21: His Averted Gaze**

Len lamented discovering the truth about his past. It shattered all he had left of the goodness he believed to be within him and his sister's love for each other.

The romance vested between them….was something he had to end. He was the reason why she was having nightmares, the reason she feared her dreams, the reason she was…..damaged goods. Although it happened in the past Len was also the cause their anguish persisted for so long…and it only took a single statement to end it all.

So there he stood in the foreclosed mysterious home's attic remembering every single detail about their demented histories.

**The Middle Of Summer 1996…**

**A/N: Play this alone by itself at first:**** YouTube: Relaxation. Sounds of nature, wind chimes and morning song birds. watch?v=h15XTI2Zhy0**

Rin and Len who were around 1st or 2nd grade were walking home after being dropped off by the school bus. The sun was thumping down on their little blonde heads, their small elementary clothes dampened by the heat of the day.

Young Len gazed at little Rin and proclaimed, "Do yah' think Mommy and Daddy are going tah' work today Rin?"

"I dunno! Hopefully nots, I don't like our old babysitters. Mrs. Ueki smells like rotting plums." Little Rin stated scrunching up her nose.

The two made their way to their yellow front door and knocked.

Their mother opens it smiling gently at them as she says, "Hello my little dumplings! Did you two have a good day today? What did you learn?"

Young Rin smiles at her mother revealing a missing bottom tooth as she declares, "We learned multiplication songs!"

Tiny Len grins and joins in announcing, "And-and today we drew our favorite animals and learned about history!"

Just then their father comes towards the front door and asks, "Hey there kiddos! Who's Dad's best inspiration for writing?"

Their father embraces them and the twins simultaneously shout, "WE ARE DAD!"

Their mother laughs softly and explains, "You two be good alright? Your dad and I are going to work. Mr. and Mrs. Ueki from across the street are going to watch you while we're out. Don't be creating trouble for them. Now kiss me both goodbye and we'll be off."

Little Rin and Len lightly peck their mother and father on their cheeks and walk hand in hand to their old neighbor's house nearby. Their parents watch them from their front door as the twins go into the old couple's residence allowing them to leave for work.

Old Mr. Ueki grins at young Rin and Len and proclaims in a tired man's raspy voice, "Hello there you two. What'll we do for fun today? Your friends are here too…now go on and say hi to them."

Rin and Len beam widely at their fellow playmates. They spend the rest of their evening carrying out childish games with their senior citizen aged caretakers Mr. and Mrs. Ueki and some other kids around the neighborhood. Their days were always a peaceful repeat of this until one of the kids suggested they all play outside. This particular summer evening was especially beautiful so Mr. Ueki and his wife agreed to go outside and onto the front lawn they all went.

Unknowingly to the children…there was a man who was watching diligently from the end of their street from his attic window waiting patiently for an opportunity to say hello.

The tranquil summer days made old Mrs. Ueki sleepy as she sat in her rocking chair. Her wrinkles grew deeper as her eyes dropped creating creases near her brows. Mr. Ueki was also easy to tire and the gentle warmness of the sun made him begin to nod off.

**A/N: Play them together if you're able to. I feel it's a perfect mix for the scene and how their innocence is going to be stolen:**** YouTube: watch?v=h15XTI2Zhy0 & YouTube: Arms & Sleepers - Dying Animal watch?v=MPVGLg6-b6o**

Just then a short stocky middle-aged man with a peculiar orange haircut that looked similar to dead grass on his head sporting piercing black eyes walked towards the front lawn of the old couple's dwelling.

The orange haired man took in a deep breath before he said, "Hello kids! Would any of you like to see something cool?"

Little Rin is one of the children who smile and look up at him and ask what it is that he wants to show them.

Some of the kids are suspicious and chatter amongst each other about not talking to strangers, but the more naïve ones follow along with the strange man as he continues to explain, "I have this beautiful butterfly sanctuary in my house. Do any of you like butterflies?"

Several of the smaller ones hand's shoot up excitedly, younger Rin being one of them.

Younger Len on the other hand is hesitant and he mumbles to his sister, "Rin I don't think this is a good idea. Mommy and Daddy will get real mad."

Tiny Rin mopes at him and replies, "But butterflies are my favorites! Let's go and see Len! Maybe we get to pet them!"

Little Len reluctantly agrees and they follow the others as the daycare is split into two groups: one led by the mysterious man who addresses himself as Mr. Yamaha.

He then leads the troupe of the eager children (amongst them little Rin and Len) to his place leaving the smarter ones back at the old couple's home. Down the street at his residence he begins to shell out details about his own life to the kids: how he's a father of two grown children, how he's divorced, and how he now lives alone and is seeking "friends". He lets some of the youngsters play with the butterfly sanctuary in the attic upstairs while he surveys which of them he will use as his…_play things_. Some of the children he gives specific butterflies to as an incentive not to tattletale to their parents what horrifying things he will do to them.

The rest is history, but because he finds out that Rin and Len are twins he becomes _especially fond_ of them to the point he rarely even uses the others. He made them do awful things to each other…and to himself, and when Mr. Yamaha felt like young Rin and Len were starting to betray him, he would pull out his shotgun or pistol, place it against the back of their heads and threaten to kill either them or their parents if they didn't continue to play his dirty games.

He was a disturbed man indeed, but Len was part of the problem and he just didn't realize it until it was too late. Every time he would make young Rin and Len have sex with each other he would ask for "the secret word".

"Now what is the secret word Len?" was what Mr. Yamaha would always ask as he pointed his gun(s) towards them while they were being tortured. And for so many years in their early childhood Len didn't know what Mr. Yamaha meant until one day when they were around 10 years old he was able to set them free.

"Please! I don't want to! Please Mr. Yamaha for my sister's sake! I can't do this anymore!" Ten year old Len cried maniacally, his torso lying on top of Rin's who was blacked out.

And that was it, it was over. Their suffering only took one word to end it all…"please"…..but young Len had been so afraid to _even speak_ for those few years in his life that all he could do was weep during their torment.

He remembered carrying an unconscious Rin outside of Mr. Yamaha's attic taking one last look at the old tattered mattress on the floor and the perfectly circle window in the back of the loft…..and at all the butterflies housed in that cooped up attic.

The reason it only took one word to end their suffering was due to this: Children pleading for their lives was a fool proof way Mr. Yamaha could decipher if his victims were becoming too old to play with. The older the kids he molested the smarter they tended to be, thus the more likely they would turn him in to the police. Once his prey asked to be freed, wished for their safety or the safety of others, he knew they had become too old to keep touching so he let them go, as if nothing had ever happened between them…

Small children didn't know how to ask such things which is why he only used youngsters, not teens.

Len is awoken from remembering his past as his phone suddenly begins vibrating: *VVVVVVVVT* *VVVVVVVVT* *VVVVVVVVT*

He jolted as the cell inside his pocket started to alarm signaling that the train heading back to his current home was going to leave soon. This time he left Mr. Yamaha's house he didn't take one last look at the room he and his twin spent countless hours being subjected to atrocious acts against their purity.

Revisiting the place in his nightmares had illuminated everything to Len. It reminded him who the Facelessman was, why butterflies plagued his every dream, why he and Rin were special in some sick way, but despite all this it didn't explain how they could forget all that happened to them in the house with the indigo roof and yellow shudders.

Len gazed outside the train window and wondered as he made his way back, _I finally know all that there was to find out about us. But how…..? How could we forget something so disturbing?_ _How could I possibly not recollect something so traumatizing that it took eight years for me to recall? We were ten when he let us go, we were old enough to remember...so why did we EVER forget?_

Just then he recalled the Faceless girl stating Retrograde Amnesia. He took out his phone and googled it. There was his explanation.

Retrograde Amnesia caused by Traumatic Events: Primarily referred to as psychogenic amnesia or psychogenic fugue, it often occurs due to a traumatic situation that individuals wish to consciously or unconsciously avoid.

That was exactly what happened to Rin and Len. The moment they were freed from their sexual slavery was the moment their brains started working to help them forget. The rest of their youth occurred as if that incident had never happened. The only reason Len started to remember them again is when he began to nurture a romance with Rin: It reminded his subconscious about what happened in his past prompting his dreams to change.

The Faceless girl emerged and although she was once compassionate she increasingly became hostile. She was a guide for Len to find out the truth as to why he felt the way he did about Rin and why he loved her so god damn much. But their love wasn't enough to persuade Len that it could save him from his remorse about playing a part in his sister's destruction. He would slowly detach himself from Rin knowing the truth about why their shared infatuation was ruined before they had even begun to fall in love.

The journey home was like a complete haze to Len, his eyes were open but there was no soul shining through them…he had become a hollow young man. He did recall however before leaving the home he had broken into writing down the realtor's number who was selling Mr. Yamaha's (the Faceless man's) old house so he could find out more about his malicious oppressor.

Like a zombie Len went to his room (completely forgetting Rin had been sleeping with him). As soon as Len saw her lying under his sheets without a second thought he went to the guest room and slept there instead. He was so exhausted from his midnight escapade that he hadn't slept for more than 24 hours. And after finding out the truth about them, Len couldn't bring himself to be near her…

He awoke to a woman who seemed to be calling his name, and for a second he believed it was his mother despite it only being his tired imagination. Len shot up in the guest room bed excitedly and thought, _I wonder if Mom is making breakfast! I'm starving..._

All of a sudden a sharp pain began to pang inside his head and he remembered that she was dead along with his father, that he had found out the secrets about his dreams, and that he and Rin and their love was birthed by pieces of their appalling lost memories. Tears began to fall down his face into his limp hands, the cold sunlight penetrating the guest bedroom window draping itself onto his skin.

Len contemplated dismally, his tears burning his eyes, _All that I know of hope, love, and perseverance has vanished. The world is against Rin and me, we never stood a chance. If….if Rin ever found out about what happened to us, her pretend innocence, an innocence I stole from her will be lost all over again. I have nothing left, I am nothing….all that I am is a disappointment to her. Neru was too good for me, and so is Rin…_

His hands began to move on their own and without even realizing it he had gone into the kitchen and placed a massive kitchen knife against his wrist. But he recollected something, his sister's wishes for his wellbeing: "Promise me Len….place your right hand over your heart and swear to me. I will never commit self-injury ever again for any reason as long as I live…"

Rin's words hummed through Len's heart and into his palms and he slowly placed the knife back into the kitchen drawers and went back to bed.

Aunt Kagamine opened Len's door after knocking and was surprised to find Rin instead so she asked, "Rin honey, where is your brother?"

She rubbed her eyes tiredly and muttered, "Mmmmm...?...Auntie Kaaaaaay? Wait a sec…..Auntie Kay?!"

After becoming aware of having to explain why she wasn't sleeping in her own room Rin stammered back, "Um A-Auntie Kay I don't know where Len is…"

Her Aunt grinned at her softly, her red lips curling upwards before she proclaimed, "Don't worry about sleeping in the same room. I know that sometimes it helps when dealing with life. I used to do it all the time when I had sleepovers with my friends. We'd all cuddle up and talk about school and guys, so don't be embarrassed. Your brother is a good boy. I can only hope that his kindness will become like your father's when he grows up. I miss them too Rin…if either of you ever get tired of being sad together you can hang out with me if you'd like..."

Rin looked at her Aunt and thought, _I'm sorry Auntie Kay but I love Len. I'm sorry that we got dumped on you, I'm sorry for lying about our relationship, and I apologize in advance for breaking your heart. I'm so so…..sorry..._

But despite these depressing ponderings Rin smiled back as she declared, "No that's okay! I think in order for us to heal it's best if we do so together. But thank you so much for your offer. Maybe when we've moved on we can be a new family of three…"

"Yeah I suppose so. I'll leave you be then.-Just tell your brother I left money for food on the table. I have work again. Maybe when I'm free we can all spend some quality time bonding. Well I'm off." Auntie Kay announced.

Rin bid her goodbye and wondered, _Why isn't Len sleeping in his room? Maybe he's downstairs. I have to tell him about Auntie Kay. She might eventually find out about us...I feel like a weight is building on my heart whenever I return her stare. _

Rin skipped downstairs and found the kitchen and the living room to be vacant.

"I wonder where he could be?" Rin stated, her brows furrowing in concern.

After a few minutes of searching she found him resting in the guestroom. Rin beamed at him mischievously and slowly crept up to the bed like a cat on her hands and knees. With one light pounce she landed a big wet smooch on his face spurring him into awakening. His indigo pupils fluttered open but they surprised her, the skin beneath them was red and swollen.

Rin immediately became alarmed and asked, "…Len…..why are your eyes so puffy? We're so happy right now I can't imagine what would make you cry…"

His gaze shone with a hint of anxiety in them but his words seemed content as he declared, "….That's odd, I probably slept on my face last night. I'm not used to this bed I guess. Rin that reminds me, I've thought about what you said recently, about us making that final step and going the whole way. I want to make it even more special. What If we played a game?"

Rin completely forgot to ask why he left her alone in his room as soon as he said 'game' her face lit up with childish anticipation.

She blinked her lashes at him and stated, "What kind of game Len?"

He returned her grin and explained, "A game of keep-away. You know that saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'? What if we did that? What if we pretended that we had just recently fallen in love and we're too shy to speak to one another? We can make believe as though we don't know about each other's feelings, almost as if we were strangers. Then when you're ready to take that step we would meet. It would be like everything was new. It would be similar to falling in love with you all over again…don't you think that would be fun to do?"

Rin beamed at him gently and whispered, "That's a beautiful thought Len…but I don't know if I can keep us apart. I love you too much…"

He smiled at her somewhat but was thinking, _You don't even know how much I really love you. I love you so much that I'm prepared to end what is between us so that you can continue to be naïve of our past. I won't make love to you like you wanted me too. I can't help but see myself…..as the reason we're broken Rin. I don't want to create any more pain to you. We've endured enough….our….our relationship will only make you remember. The further we go the more likely you'll recollect our….molestation... _

That's right everyone, Len was going to push her farther from him with this little plan. He would pretend that when Rin was finally ready they would "do it", but they never would. He wanted to push her away from him without her knowing it, and the only way he could do so without hurting her feelings was to make it into a game, a game she didn't know the rules to, a game she could _never_ win.

He took in a breath full before he asked, "Will you do it for me? I promise you that it will be better if we keep our distance and meet up like our love is still new…you'll see. It'll be fun! In the mean time we can research on how to be a better lover. When the time comes, I won't disappoint you…"

Rin pouted a bit and mumbled, "Can't we just stay as we are? I don't want to alter our bond with this game you're suggesting, though it sounds fun. I'm sure no matter what you do when we finally make love….that our time together would be precious…just as it is now, just as it will be forever…"

At that moment she leaned in for a kiss but Len dodged it.

When disappointment enveloped her pretty face he chuckled, "Sorry! But the game has already begun! If you try to touch me you'll lose!"

"What are the penalties if I don't win and the prizes if I do win?" Rin questioned gleefully.

"A secret…" Len whispered, his voice carrying a likeness of grief.

Len's soul grew heavier the longer he held things to himself, but he knew bearing all the woe alone was far better than sharing it with his beloved, the person he had hurt the most.

His plan to lessen the infatuation between them had begun, and his search for more information about Mr. Yamaha started to unwind…

**A/N: Yes readers it's nearing the bitter sweet end. *Cries manly tears* (jokingly of course).**

**The previous chapter was the climax of the story but there's another one that is about to happen in a few updates that will release the twins from some of their worries. I write stuff that upsets certain people, but I wanted to put something online that was as lifelike as possible. I was tired of reading the same plots over and over again, which is why I never favorite/follow people.**

**The Faceless Man is based off of the Vocaloid creator Kenmochi Hideki who I find undeniably creepy. His named was changed to "Yamaha" (the corporation) which backs the Vocaloid project. The name Ueki is also borrowed from the Vocaloid wiki page. **

**I feel like I've grown as a person writing this story and if you're wondering yes I've forgiven myself and my abuser. I had to. It's the only to be happy. Also I wish peace/justice for the victims of the priests under Cardinal Mahony (if you're in the U.S. you know what I'm talking about).**

**Spoiler Alert: I made the Kagamine twins born in the early 90's so that I could finish off their story when they're adults (in their late 20's), so yes you will see them as adults and their friends as adults as well.**

**Thanks for stopping by and please review!**** :P**


	22. Chapter 22: The Faceless Girl

**Chapter 22: The Faceless Girl**

School had begun for Rin and Len and since it was their last semester of high school it went by incredibly fast. The game Len had created was already in full play. The twins at all times kept their distance mirroring the relationship they had before they started to develop feelings for each other, feelings that emerged during their junior year.

**Lunchtime February 2008…**

The girls were walking to the lunch patios outside the cafeteria when Gumi notices Rin pass right by Len on their way out without acknowledging him.

She becomes suspicious and contemplates,_ Rin and Len's relationship is always all over the place. One month they're best friends the next they're strangers. I wonder what's going on between them…I know that it's tough being orphans and all but wouldn't their parents dying make them closer? Right now it's like they aren't even related…_

The girls sat down under a tree and began to chatter about college life and what schools they had gotten accepted into. Miku and Kaito were going together, so was Luka and Gakupo, Meiko however was going solo along with the rest of their group. Everyone had talked about universities accept for Rin, and then Meiko broke her silence.

"Hey Rin what school are you and Len going to?" Meiko inquired, her brown eyes shining with curiosity.

The girls huddled in Rin's direction awaiting an answer. After having a mini internal battle to come up with a reply she announced, "We don't know yet. I'm not really sure if we're going together or not…"

Miku was slightly annoyed by her vague response and said, "That's kind of dumb Rin. College starts after summer and we should be submitting to the schools already if we're going. They might kick you out if you stay unsure."

Rin returned Miku's stare and thought, _If I tell you we're going to the same school everyone will think we're too attached to each other. If Len was a girl none of you would mind it, but he isn't. Len's game was a good idea after all.-This way no one can notice how close we really are…_

The girls laid off of Rin as someone had started a new conversation about their future goals.

Rin however didn't know that the game was to keep her _permanently_ away from him. Meanwhile on the other side of the campus Len wasn't hanging out with the guys, he was inside the library….researching…

He kept googling Mr. Yamaha's name but there were too many people registered with the same identity. His name was too common. Len's last resort was the realtors who were selling Mr. Yamaha's old residence.

He dialed their number and waited patiently outside of the library.

"Hello this is Mrs. Watanabe of The Eastern Company Realtors how may I help you?" the woman answered.

"Um, I was just wondering about the houses you're selling in-." Len replied proceeding to give a detailed explanation of the mysterious home.

"Oh you mean Mr. Yamaha's old house? Yes it's for sale if that is what you're asking." Mrs. Watanabe proclaimed.

"Yeah actually I was wondering what happened to the original owner. I'd like to ask him questions personally about his house. You know, to get a more personal input before I buy." Len clarified, his hands trembling as he spoke.

"Oh…I'm sorry but Mr. Yamaha passed away a few years back. His children actually were the ones who put it up for sale, though I don't think they can be contacted. They live overseas. You can ask me or Mr. Tanaka about the house if you'd like." Mrs. Watanabe explained.

After hearing such defeating words Len's heart sunk into his chest as he thought, _That's it…there is no way to attain justice. Our tormentor is already dead…I can't kill him myself…._

In spite of this he cleared his throat and asked, "Well I do have o-one question. Why is there a butterfly sanctuary in the attic?"

"Oh so you've toured the home? Well we put in a special deal for people who have pets. It was a hobby Mr. Yamaha used to have with rare species of butterflies. But if you own a parrot or another winged animal it does the same thing, keeps them from escaping. The cages and nets won't cost a lot to remove if you want to change that room however." Mrs. Watanabe illuminated.

Len gritted his teeth as he thought, _His REAL hobbies were fucking little kids you ignorant woman. The butterflies were there to lure children like me and my sister in. You have no idea what that son of a bitch put us through. The butterflies weren't the only things he imprisoned up there…_

"Yes I've toured the home but if you don't mind me asking how did Mr. Yamaha die? I ask this because I don't want to live in a home that might be potentially haunted. I know I sound superstitious but better to be safe than sorry right?" Len persisted lightheartedly (although deep down he was far from laughing). He had to know if his death was instantaneous or one that took time.

"Let me assure you Mr. Yamaha's house is _not haunted_. He died of lung cancer after fighting for many years at the local hospital. So you won't have to worry about any poltergeists looming about at night." Mrs. Watanabe joked somewhat.

That's all Len needed to know. Mr. Yamaha's death was a long process. With terminal cancer it gave him enough time to get rid of his kiddy porn collection and all the proof of his sexual escapades with minors. Only his victims knew the truth. But Len couldn't even remember their names much less their faces and he was sure that some of them wouldn't recognize him even if they happen to cross paths. It had been more than 8 years and he knew they might've potentially moved as well. His search was over as soon as it began. There was nothing left to look for…he had reached an insurmountable dead end.

"Hello…? Are you still there sir?" Mrs. Watanabe questioned.

"…..Thanks for the information, but I don't think I'm looking to buy now after all." Len stated hollowly.

He said goodbye to the realtor and as soon as school was over Len collapsed in his room and fell into his false reality for one seemingly final conversation with the faceless girl.

Instead of finding himself in a dream version of Mr. Yamaha's house, he was inside his old home. The warmth of his past enclosed itself around him and he sighed as a feeling of relaxation for one brief moment entered his heart.

But it was crushed when he heard the faceless girl say, "You could not just leave it alone could you? You had to find out…and now you are paying the retribution for delving into a past that had once ruined you…I told you that you must know and face the penalties, now you regret doing so. Why?"

He stared at her, at her muddled face, at that cloud that was her head. Her blonde locks floated in the air as though she was underwater, and her dress moved like there was wind in the room despite there being none.

Len replied with no emotion in his voice, "I regret falling in love with her. You were right all along. I should've just stayed with Neru. If we were together right now, I would've never found out about Mr. Yamaha and that fucking house…"

"Is it worth knowing? Also I would like to suggest that if your pain is too much then you can share it with others. It will lessen your agony." The faceless girl advocated.

"It was worth finding out. Especially if it means protecting the last bits of Rin's innocence then I will gladly hold these wretched memories forever. As for sharing them with her, I'm not sure if that's such a good idea. What if she hates me forever for keeping it a secret? Even worse….what if she hates me for telling her the truth?" Len questioned fearfully, his eyes bearing a dim and heavy glimmer.

"You must risk losing all of her in order for you to move on from your past. Otherwise you will perish from your secrets strangling you to death." She stated.

The faceless girl then stopped from floating midair to bend down to his level taking both his cheeks into her hands.

She brushed her long icy fingers on his skin and said, "You had to know Len. It was the only way to stop you from perpetrating that final act with Rin. The path you were heading down with her made it inevitable anyways. You would have eventually triggered some form of memory retrieval. You would remember even if I had not pushed you, but the sorrow you feel now is lessened because you were prepared for it due to my presence. If you had suddenly found out on the other hand, you might have committed suicide…"

"I know that I'm suicidal. If I had Spontaneous Recovery like I had researched online, the shock might've made me….kill myself. Still, regardless of all the pain I've been experiencing lately, I don't regret recalling what happened…..I only regret the relationship between us. Everything could've stayed the way it was if I had never started liking her in that way…For god sakes our parents are dead! I'm pretty damn sure that has to do with our love…" Len proclaimed emptily, his gaze growing increasingly menacing.

He felt as though the faceless girl were mocking him when she explained, "Your parent's deaths were merely a coincidence. That is all there ever was to their car accident. It was purely a mixture of bad weather and inattention. It may seem like their tragedy was given in place of your romance with Rin, but that would be tying two unrelated things together."

That was the final straw. To talk about his parents like they were merely a pair of statistics put him into a mad rage. Len's temper was already drawn thin after finding out he couldn't bring Mr. Yamaha to the police, and due to that he had no patience left for the faceless girl's obscure speech. He immediately abandoned his sanity…

Len clenched his jaw as he shouted, "You are not a god! How the hell can you tell if that was just an accident?! YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LIFE AND DEATH?!"

Her hazy features seemed to be frowning as she stated, "More than you realize Len. As your conscience I think what you think…"

**A/N: More music readers…here's my ambient music suggestion:**** YouTube: Cloud Atlas OST – Death Is Only A Door watch?v=fbb9iM3g2cc**

"Don't try that with me again! You're always playing all knowing super-being in my dreams! For all I know you might be pure evil sent from god knows where! Maybe _you _were the reason we ended up this way! Hell you were the start of it all! You…you were the start of something sinister!" Len screamed violently letting go of any self-control.

"THAT IS ENOUGH LEN!" the faceless girl shrieked, the sounds of shattering glass accompanying her voice.

In that moment the windows of his childhood home exploded and debris shot itself from her scream and were sent flying across the room. The floor quaked with an ominous force and Len fell onto the floor curling up his body in fetal position as he protected himself from the airborne wreckage.

Len jumped back defensively and watched as the faceless girl appeared to be _growing_ in height as she walked towards him.

Her shrill voice tore up the air as she declared, "YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU CANNOT SEE MY FACE?! THIS IS WHY!"

In that instant she dug her hands into the void that was her head and tore off the cloud that made her face a murky puddle. As soon as she ripped it off a tall young woman with long platinum blonde hair stood before him.

Len was stunned, the faceless girl….was Rin, but it wasn't _exactly_ Rin. She was different…taller, more mature looking, and with a look in her eyes that he had never seen before….rage. This Rin was unknown to him.

"Who the fuck…..are you?" Len managed to state, his expression showing that he was completely caught off guard.

"I have told you before that I am all that you desire in any mold you wish me to present to you. I am your guilt, your conscience, and the best and worst qualities of the people in your life put together….but what I am essentially is a different version of Rin." The faceless girl announced.

Len huddled himself against a wall as she was merely a few inches from him now.

He was still so confused so he asked, "What do you m-mean a version of Rin? There is only one Rin in this world…right?"

"Wrong. Every universe has a partner universe with a parallel outcome where only one aspect is changed in it. I am a version of Rin from a world where you never met Mr. Yamaha. I am the Rin who was never molested…" the faceless girl said.

"No…you're lying to me. Why do you look so different from her?! You aren't Rin! STOP PRETENDING TO BE HER!" Len yelled lifting up his hand to push her off of him.

Because he was dreaming she was able to stop his hands from touching her.

Len became immobile as she held his chin under her palm and said, "Do not try to fight me, now look into my eyes. What do you see?"

Flashes of their childhood passed through his vision and only one thing was different. In the tiny snippets of his past he witnessed that his younger self was able to convince Rin not to into Mr. Yamaha's house that one summer evening. This would've saved them, but he was too young to know how…and so they endured what all parents fear most.

Len's gaze started to tear up and he slumped against the wall as he stammered trying not to lose it again, "You _are_ her aren't you…? Why are you…so beautiful?"

She embraced him softly as she clarified, "The Rin in your world spent countless nights awake frightened of the next day because of Mr. Yamaha. For this reason she did not grow very tall. In the universe where you two never became victims we would be the same height. Her hair is darker from the platinum blonde it would've been from washing it too much, from trying to get the smell of sex off. This is also the reason she keeps her hair short. Her pupils are likewise dimmer from spending too many days cooped up in that attic with you. Her eyes changed from light blue to dark blue. The version of Rin I am is the Rin who never went through all that agony which is why I appear so different."

"Is it the same…for me too? I would've turned out a-another way….right?" Len asked distraught, his eyes squinting holding back his grief.

"Yes." The faceless girl said.

A moment later a faceless boy appeared, but slowly his features became visible. It was another version of himself. This Len was even taller than himself with platinum blonde hair (like the faceless girl) and light cerulean eyes. The twinkle of life was strong in his gaze and he too seemed more mature.

The two Lens stood staring at each other, one was broken and the other was whole. The Len from the perfect world took hold of the faceless girl's hand, (the untarnished Rin) and they began to walk away from him.

"Where do guys think you're going!? You have to help me! You must know how I can stop my feelings for her!-How do I make everything seem like it never happened?! You both live in a perfect world! PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING DO!" Len begged breaking down onto his knees.

Untarnished Len turned around and replied, "We do not live in a perfect world either. Our parents are dead as well. We never said that they were alive. We told you have we not?-That only one aspect in your world was different, and that was meeting Mr. Yamaha…"

"What-?" Len proclaimed.

Perfect Len smiled at him and both he and the faceless girl started to leave, their hands tightly interlocked.

Len stood up to chase after the faceless girl (who was untainted Rin) and the faceless boy (being an untainted version of himself) all the while as he pleaded, "You can't just leave me here! You must know how to help me move on from my past!

But the more he tried to catch them the heavier he felt until he couldn't even breath anymore, and then he was awake.

Len's eyes shot open, his dreams still being incredibly vivid as he realized, _Were they real or a part of my imagination? _

They were part of his imagination. But they were real to Len and that's all that truly mattered. However in Len's reality the faceless girl and boy were extensions of his regret, they were subconscious reflections of how he saw himself and Rin if they never knew the faceless man/Mr. Yamaha.

Deep down Len was conscious of this and after realizing they were only a part of his mind he made a decision.

Len was going to tell her…even if she would never speak to him again, even if it would annihilate her naïve happiness, he discerned he would die from stress if he didn't….and that wasn't the ending he wanted for them.

A gentle knock resounded from his door…and an opportunity to finally tell her presented itself to him…

**A/N: Hey there everyone, sorry it's been a while. I have over 18 books to read this semester (Spring 2013) and more than four class speeches to do and it's not an easy feat. Putting that aside I want to inform you all that the story will have a happy ending.**

**Don't let your crazy imaginations tell you otherwise. The reason I've made the plot the way it is, is because people experience tremendous hardship before reaching a good point in their lives which will be the case for Rin & Len. If you don't like it then I can't help you there. I'm not going to hold your hand and tell you that everything will be perfect b/c it won't be. Undergoing tremendous struggles is a part of living and often times those who deserve justice don't always attain it. **

**As for the ending all I can tell you is that you won't cry unless they are happy tears, if you cry at all that is (much like myself who can't cry for some reason).**

**But if you cried reading my story than you're a lot more sensitive than me that's for sure (and maybe you are still too young to know the real world yet). Perhaps some of your sensitivity will rub off on me somehow? Just kidding, my girlfriend has enough for the both of us.**** -_-;**

**Also thank you to those who have shared some of your pain with me. Although I don't know you I know that you had courage enough for yourself to speak about it.-A pat on the back to you.**

**Unrelated side note: The main reason I don't read fanfiction besides having high expectations is because of the dozens of other things I have to pay attention to. Not only that but reading fanfiction is just not my thing. I've tried it and it wasn't for me.**

**Now back to the story. As for The Faceless Girl did you expect it to be Rin from a parallel universe where their molestation never happened/part of Len's innermost remorse at the same time? If you did you must have a very vivid imagination.**

**Well I guess that's it for now... **

**Thanks for dropping by and please review!**** (^o^)/**


	23. Chapter 23: I'm Ready For You

**Chapter 23: I'm Ready For You…**

The soft knock against Len's door was followed by Rin coming into his room smiling tenderly in a seductive nightdress. It was only a few hours before dawn. The winter snow outside made Len contemplate as to why Rin wore something with almost no protection in such unforgiving weather.

He stared at her and wondered, _Didn't I tell her that we were playing a game of 'keep away'? That includes being at home, so why is she here?_

Rin answered his thoughts when she said, "I don't want to play 'keep away' anymore. I know I've lost the game but I don't care. In the time that we've spent away from each other I've thought about what you said…and I've decided. I'm ready to give myself to you wholeheartedly…"

_This is bad…! I am no longer able to touch her without thinking about what I did in the past! I just can't!_ Len pondered gnawing at the walls inside his mouth in an effort to lessen his anxiety.

Silently Rin walked towards Len, her thighs trembling ever so slightly as she did. She persisted to lean over him placing a light kiss on his lips whispering, "I lose….but I also win…"

Rin suddenly proceeded to slip her hands inside his shirt to which Len spasmed, a nauseating torrent sending itself to his stomach.

"Stop it Rin!" He shouted shoving her off.

She was puzzled, shocked even at his rejection promoting her to ask, "What's wrong Len? I thought you said when I'm ready you'd be willing to take me…are you having second thoughts? If you want _I _will wait for you this time. I know it's a big step so I won't pressure you either…"

"No…that's not it at all! If…if you really love me then you will love me even after I tell you….our deepest secret…" Len announced cryptically, his eyes narrowing with signs of distress peeking through.

Rin tread back a few steps as she proclaimed quietly, "Len….you're worrying me again…"

"I know I am, but you have to trust me on this…Take my hand and….just follow me, then you'll know why I don't want to touch you…" Len declared mysteriously.

Rin's gaze grew apprehensive as she stated, "I don't know what's going on and I'm afraid to ask…but regardless of this, I trust you…"

She took Len's hand and he led her to the train station that brought them to their old neighborhood. Mutely they sat beside one another the whole journey there. Each of them was so caught up in their own thoughts that they weren't sure what to ask the other, the tension between them was simply too great.

Once they got off their stop she knew exactly where they were headed…

When Rin became aware of this she announced ecstatically, "Are we going to visit our old house Len? Wow! The street looks just like it did when we left!"

"Not exactly…just please be quiet. We don't want anyone to wakeup…" Len explained as he directed her down the street of their old neighborhood.

The enormous trees draping the edges of the road cast piercing shadows over Len's back as Rin trailed behind him.

She stared at the edges of his silhouette and thought, _Something about you is different, but I can't put my finger on it..._

Without her even realizing it he had brought her to a home with anindigo roof and yellow shudders.

Rin recognized it from her daydreams and declared aloud, "I know this place…I sometimes dream of our old home and the houses around it. This was one of them…"

Len gazed at her, his expression smeared with dejection as he proclaimed, "It was also a house we spent many countless hours being tortured inside of Rin…"

"What are you talking about Len?" Rin questioned naively.

She wouldn't remember anything unless he brought her into the attic…

Len motioned her towards the fence leading to the backyard and said, "Come here. I'll give you a lift so you can go over."

Her eyes widened in shock as she whispered loudly, "What are we doing Len?! We're not supposed to trespass! What if the owner hears us?!"

He smiled at her sadly and announced in a hushed voice, "Don't worry about him. That bastard is dead. No one lives here, it's foreclosed…now climb over or I won't show you our deepest secret…"

Rin obeyed despite being frightened by Len's enigmatic behavior.

**A/N: Music Proposition:** **YouTube: Ólafur Arnalds – And They Have Escaped The Weight Of Darkness watch?v=k5AOaKmIpJs**

She then watched in horror as Len broke a window of the house with the indigo roof and yellow shudders muttering, "They fixed that window pretty fast."

Len commenced to slip himself into the small opening in the window sill he had made gesturing for Rin to follow. She did as he suggested and fell onto the cold oak floors of the home.

Rin took a second to compose herself before she asked, "Okay Len…..just please tell me. What are we doing here? I'm really terrified right now…I don't know what you're up to but I beg of you to express to me as to why you're doing this before we go any further…"

He grinned at her sorrowfully before he murmured, "I have to do this….because I love you more than _everything_….due to that you must know before I destroy you a second time. I need your forgiveness if I am going to keep living…"

Len's ambiguity sent eerie shivers up her spine. His response only made it more difficult for her to talk so she remained silent.

The overwhelming blue moonlight from the early morning shone onto his skin and painted him in an almost ghostly form. The tones from his body matched the grey walls of the mysterious home they were in and it mystified her. It was as though the home itself were a separate entity from the rest of the world: existing but not existing, tangible but transparent at the same time…and it almost seemed like Len had become an inseparable part of it all…

His stare punctured Rin's with the force of a billion needles. The only thing she could do was blindly follow his hypnotic gaze as he beckoned for her to take his hand. She placed her palm into his and he walked her to a pull-down staircase which they entered together.

Suddenly she was in an attic filled with a strange aura, a flawlessly circular window at the back of the loft, and a butterfly sanctuary at its edges.

Len gripped her hand tighter as he said just below a whisper, "This is where we met Mr. Yamaha Rin…"

"Mr. Yamaha? Who's that?" Rin asked, her face tinted with fright.

His face neared hers as he thought, _I knew it. You won't remember anything unless I tell you. The memories are more deeply repressed in your mind than in my own. We can't be one person like you wanted us to. This is the truth of our pasts…and why we can never be._

Len took a deep breath before he explained in between long pauses, "He was a neighbor we used to have a long time ago. He used to…molest us….but what's more important is that, he used to make us…..touch each other…"

She was drawn aback and said defensively believing his words to be a cruel prank, "What are you talking about Len?! Nothing like that ever happened!"

He sighed heavily and stammered, "It did h-happen Rin! Jesus Christ you have to remember this Rin…for _us_! Otherwise I'll…I'll go permanently crazy thinking that these memories I have are nothing but things I made up!"

She shot him an agitated glare and proclaimed, "I don't know what you're getting at Len, but all I know is that I want to leave this weird house! It gives me an odd feeling, let's go home!"

Rin was startled when he unexpectedly grabbed her arms with both fists shaking her aggressively as he shouted, "Please please please remember something! Anything! I can't take you back until you recall what happened! I thought I could go with explaining you every single detail but I can't! I just can't!"

Deprived of warning Rin watched as Len sank to his knees and buried his face into her chest sobbing, "Please r-remember, p-please dear god Rin remember o-our suffering…I don't care if it takes you 1,000 years to r-remember! I will w-wait patiently u-until you do…!"

She was so confused the only thing Rin could do was stare in wonder as he wept uncontrollably against her torso. But Rin was broken from her daze when she became conscious once more of the butterfly cages in the corner of the attic. Her eyes met a golden butterfly and a silver one, the latter having a scarred wing. Her vision was glued to those peculiar insects as they flew around each other in their small enclosure. The longer she looked at them, the more disheartened she felt, and shortly tears began to fall onto her cheeks and onto Len who was still weeping on her breast.

"….I remember…." Rin said barely enough for Len to hear.

Len turned his vision upwards to observe his other half. He watched in awe as his sister's sobbing began to pelt themselves onto his face. Rin's bottom lip started to tremble, her petite shoulders were suddenly quivering, and the waist beneath his fingertips felt her body gently tremor.

After an extensively long pause she whispered, "…Why did you have to tell me?…Why Len? …WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL ME?!"

**A/N: Music Suggestion:**** YouTube Kobato OST - Umaranai Nanika watch?v=2jb3FjTW24M**

Len held her tighter now as he recognized her woe explaining, "I…I had to! You wanted t-to give yourself to me, and I couldn't just accept you knowing what h-happened in our childhood!"

Rin heaved him off and curled herself up into a ball as she wept, "But I-I loved you so m-much! Why c-couldn't you just leave m-me ignorant! Because of you n-now I believe our love to b-be something c-caused by Mr. Yamaha!"

She truly did recollect everything that occurred, because he felt the exact same way…

Len crawled to her, his arms spread wide trying to embrace her as he bawled, "I k-know. I feel just the s-same! B-but if you were in my position, w-what would you have done? Would you have simply let the girl you l-love stay oblivious or tell her t-the truth?!"

He was stunned when she shrieked as he tried to console her. Rin crept herself against the wooden walls of the loft even further, her face like a crazed animal dirtied by her blonde locks and moist tears.

Len slowly attempted to comfort her but she slapped him hard across the face and screamed, "DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME LEN!"

Rin's words sliced through his core making him question in between short cries, "….Rin…why are you a-acting this way? You know I n-never meant to hurt you! I tried m-many times to speak up…but I was so fucking s-s-scared I didn't know what to do! Believe me I tried! I HAD NO IDEA I COULD'VE STOPPED IT!"

Her cobalt eyes knifed themselves into his and he knew immediately that there was nothing he could say at the moment that would calm her in any way.

Out of nowhere he heard Rin mutter, "Get the fuck out of my sight Len…"

Len's vision broadened as he stared at her, but his disbelief did not change her demands. Regardless of this he still had to try…

In blatant defiance of Rin's order he knelt down towards her and slowly again he inched his trembling hands towards her cheek. She withdrew her arm to punch Len's face, but he swiftly caught her fist. When she yelled at him to let go he held her free hand that was about to swat at him. Rin then started to kick her legs at his stomach, but he laid his weight on her so that she could not move.

Only her head was free now as she mumbled furiously, "Let m-me g-go Len! Don't you f-fucking touch me!"

She continued to curse at him, thrashing her head madly back and forth from side to side trying to head-but her twin brother.

Rin gradually stopped lashing about when she felt him rest his head over her heart and whisper, "I realize that you hate me right now, and I can truly fathom why. We fell in love not knowing where such intense feelings came from. But Rin, despite our horrific past…I believe that knowing Mr. Yamaha did not make a difference. Even if….we grew up normally, you would still be the one girl I could never pretend I didn't love…and I'm sorry that you don't feel that way, because I do..."

His voice sliced through her blinded rage. They made her grasp…that he was a victim too. They were victims together, and the fact that she had for one second disregarded this made her comprehend that she had been too hasty in accusing him of not saving her. After all Len had been _forced_ to make love to her. She recalled Mr. Yamaha placing guns in their presence just in case they tried to defy him. Len wasn't doing it for pleasure…he was doing it so they wouldn't be murdered…

He could hear her heart strumming erratically under his ear as she mumbled, "Len…I can't do t-this. I'm sorry for getting so angry, but I c-can't be with you as of n-now. P-please get off of me. I need…closure, I need time to think. I need to b-be by myself… "

"I understand. I knew it would come to this: Either you continue to love me even if it might kill us or you decide to end it all and we can fake being happy for the rest of our lives with other people…and I'm okay with that. As long as you're capable of moving on I will be able to as well…" Len stated, his eyes completely inflamed and swollen.

"Len I-…" Rin was just about to say something when they heard people outside talking about a break-in.

The twins immediately threw each other a frantic look before Len wordlessly hinted for Rin to follow him. They left the attic and were met with neighbors just outside Mr. Yamaha's old house chatting about a burglary. There were so many people gathered around the residence that the still tired neighbors didn't even notice two teenagers exit the backside of the dwelling and head down the street. Plus the neighbors would never think that two youths that appeared to be fairly well-off were the ones who actually broke in.

It was early morning, just past 6 am and the winter sun was barely peeking through the plum horizon. Clouds of ominous grey cast themselves over the sky suggesting a storm was coming.

The twins had made it back home and since it was the weekend they had the house to themselves again…along with all the awkwardness they had brought home with them.

Len paced back and forth in his room fretfully dreading all the possible thoughts that must've been rushing through his sister's head at the moment. But he was misguided. She wasn't having an internal monologue at the time. Rin was flipping through old photos of their life and among the pages of her art books when she noticed something…

Some of her drawings were missing. She instantaneously knew Len had been the one who had stolen them.

Rin marched to his room and slammed open his door huffing agitatedly, "You….you took them….didn't you Len? Where are they? Where are my sketches!?"

He couldn't return his sister's stare and pointed towards a bottom drawer on his work desk. She trudged forwards and flung it open.

Once her eyes found it she shouted, "Why did you take them?! First you drag me to our old home and make me remember what happened and now I find out you're stealing from me?! Len are you purposely trying to make me hate you?!"

His vision was glued to the carpet floor as he announced quietly, "Maybe I am. I don't feel worthy of anyone anymore, especially you. I destroyed the girl you would turn out to be…I murdered you Rin. I executed a version of you that would've been perfect. Now we're both shattered images of what we could've been. I fucked it all up…I really really fucked everything up…and no matter how sorry I am, we can't go back in time…"

Rin wasn't sure how to respond to such a statement so instead she started to file through the notes Len had made about her drawings.

December 20th 2007: _I'm so happy right now I don't want to break what we have created together. She's just too precious to destroy...and yet at the same time I want to so bad it makes me stay up at night with my petrifying thoughts. I'll leave my findings at this: Rin's drawings are identical to my dreams. The windows are in the right places, the roof is colored the correct shade of indigo, and of course the shudders are yellow…why couldn't her sketches NOT have matched? Why must we be the tarnished ones?_

January 6th 2008: _I believe Rin is getting closer to remembering, every little thing she does prompts me into recalling something about Mr. Yamaha. I want to look at her with untainted eyes. I want to see her as though there were no fingerprints of mine sullied on her skin, but it's impossible. Her drawings are the key to my action; I'm just too cowardly to do anything about it right now. I want her to stay ignorantly in love with me, even if it's just for a moment…_

February 12th 2008: _I've devised an awful plan to keep her away from me. I've come to realize that I am a poison to Rin. -That she will drown with me if she continues to hold my hand and that our love can take us nowhere but to the grave. I found out everything about my dreams. Mr. Yamaha was the Facelessman. Everything makes sense to me now as to why we ever forgot...we never wanted to remember in the first place._

February 16th 2008: _The faceless girl was an alternate version of Rin, a perfect person of who she would've been if I had just convinced her not to go into his house. If Rin tries to sleep with me and breaks the keep away game, her reward will be the truth about our forgotten memories._

Len watched his sister's gaze reach the last of his notes, the whites of her eyes glazed into a bloodshot red. She was so irate at him for telling her the truth/stealing from her that after reading his innermost thoughts she could only feel regret for being so unforgiving just a few short hours ago.

She bit her lower lip as she wondered, _He's been struggling with this for so long…how could I not see it? First I was ignorant about his pain because of my love for him, and just recently I was cruel to him for speaking about our past. When will my stupidity end? _

His voice broke as he muttered wearily, "Now you know everything. If you refuse to look at me for the rest of your life I don't mind. All I ever wanted was to show you that I didn't mean to take advantage of you, and that it wasn't your fault we met him. I know you detested finding out what happened, but it was redemption for me. This time around I had a choice to turn your advances down…and I did. No one was pointing a gun at me or threatening me to make love to you, the only one keeping me from raping you again was myself...I apologize for not saving us...even though I had a chance to…"

Rin shut her lids tight as she replied stuttering a bit, "Len...you didn't rape me. We w-were molested...we were just little kids! How could we have known what to do in that type of situation? It's not your fault you didn't know how to get us out, I didn't either…so don't blame yourself. Everything that we underwent in t-that attic was a mistake! Stop trying to take Mr. Yamaha's responsibility. _He's_ t-the one who tricked us into going there, _he's_ the one who forced us onto each other, and _he's_ the one who did it Len! He's...he's the...the one...so please stop dying for me! I l-love you, I forgive you, I _am_ you! How can I hate someone who is a part of me? You are the last person that matters in my life, I w-was just too distracted by my resentment to see it until now...please forgive me Len for not seeing it sooner…p-please...forgive m-me!"

He watched in amazement as Rin began to weep like a small child throwing her head up into the air as if asking the heavens to pardon her sins. She rubbed her eyes with quivering bawled up fists, her face growing red and puffy. Len was so relieved...so relieved actually that his body gave out as he collapsed onto his mattress.

Several hours later in the afternoon he awoke to Rin by his side, his head resting on her lap as she napped gently leaning against the headboard of his bed. On the softness of her upper thighs he looked up at her and thought, _Today we can finally become one…_

**A/N: Hello there again fanfictioneers, *exhales heavily*. This chapter I almost got stuck, ALMOST. But then the creative juices got flowing and then I thought I haven't used the notes that Len made about his dreams/Rin's drawings. **

**I make out a central idea for every chapter and build upon it when I write. Writing isn't work for me like it is for others; it comes naturally so to me making up stories is quite easy and doesn't feel like a job whatsoever. It's more like a constructive hobby (that goes for a lot of things I do). I think the key is to not over think things, which is why a sh^t load of things seem easy to me.**

**Going back to S.O.S.S. in regards to this chapter how did you feel about Rin's reactions? I know some of you may have been bothered by how cruel she was but think about it. She knows the truth now, but she didn't want to know it in the first place. In many ways it detroyed her fake-purity (as she was dirtied in the past by their molestor).**

**Spoiler Alert: A lot of the material things that were mentioned in the first ten chapters will come into use.**

**Furthermore I'd like to set it straight that I am *cough* male even though I like writing fluff (this is not any news if you have seen my deviantart page). I never made it explicit b/c even gender changes how people view other's works. But it's gotten to the point that it's started to bother me how some of you automatically assume I'm a girl...when I'm not lol. **

**Anyways please review! (especially if you have faved/followed) and see you next update!**** :D**


	24. Chapter 24: Deflowering My Other Half

**Chapter 24: Deflowering My Other Half...**

**A/N: If you haven't read the story in sequence please don't spoil this chapter for yourselves. It will ruin the rest of the plot for you. Beware of being disappointed by your own inability to keep yourself from reading ahead. Everything will be confusing for you if you just skip to this chapter. You've been warned new readers. This story is intended for older audiences (17 and up) please! You have been cautioned.**

**A/N: Music for this scene:**** YouTube: Helios - Halving The Compass: watch?v=Yj55nG2tkKw**

The late afternoon sunlight pierced through the glass pane of Len's room onto Rin's cheeks. She scrunches up her nose as a faint smell of chilly air brushes against it. Len observes her intently from the end of his bed, his head resting on his lower arms. His eyes become dilated as he grasps that every fiber of her existence...from her thin wing-like clavicles to her short golden locks…

…That each and every part of her is an intertwined piece of himself…

Everything about her was unfamiliar yet nostalgic all pooled into one…and it filled his soul with the feeling that they had been reborn somehow. Nothing was hidden between them about their pasts. She knew it all and thus the unseen burdens that rode on his body were lifted. They were as fused together mentally as two separate beings could possibly be…

Slowly...so very slowly Rin's eyes flutter open as she smiles tiredly and states, "Good morning Len..."

He beams at her revealing his perfect ivory teeth.

She squirms to the end of his bed, buries herself into his neck and coos, "Say hi to the new us Len.-The us that remembers our memories and isn't afraid to admit that it happened...and that we survived..."

Len sighs deeply whilst wrapping her up into his arms, "I feel as though last night we said goodbye to our past...from now own we must say hello to our future. We must always _always_ look to our future...we don't need to look back anymore…"

With that being declared like black ink in water the silhouettes of their shadows merged into a kiss. Moments seemed like days: they had created a separate universe for their love to exist and no one else was allowed in but the two of them. Not even time itself…

Then out of nowhere Len felt Rin place his hand into her panties...

She whispers shakily, "Now is the moment...you can finally be one with me. We can at last be reunited Len..."

He can recognize her bare delicates gracing their presence against the topside of his palm. His ribcage expands with shrill uncertainty. It feels as though it will explode thousands of gallons of blood. Len's heart is beating so rapidly he's sure that it will give out…the bolts keeping his chest shut are unhinging…

He responds to her advances with unsteady/nervous speech, "N-not yet...First you have to get married like Mom and Dad had always wanted for you and me when we got older, though obviously _not_ like this.-Despite being unable to see us develop families of our own with other people. The two of us together is already enough."

"Wouldn't they have been sickened and furious at us Len? It's as though we're betraying them..." Rin announces uneasily.

"We are...but down to the core of what they wanted for us...which was _unconditional _happiness their wishes still apply even if it means posthumously breaking their hearts..." Len explains, his gaze being incredibly stern with confidence.

"Mom and Dad had always wanted us to find that special someone and settle down. They were so looking forward to the days when they would get to see us be good parents ourselves. If they saw us as we are right now, forming a love with EACH OTHER rather than with someone else…I can't even imagine what it would've been like..." Rin states, her expression painted with terror.

Len grips Rin tighter as he asserts, "…And we never have to. Don't get me wrong, I loved Mom and Dad. But they died for a reason, whether it was to balance nature or for something else. Maybe it was so that they would never have to see us...like this..."

"I suppose so...all I know now is that our love is so intense that it's frightening. I don't think I've _ever_ been a whole person without you, and that is what's scariest about our love..." Rin whispers.

Len laughs as he declares, "Now you know how I feel..."

Rin pounces him on the chest playfully as she publicizes, "Don't make fun of me Len! You're one to talk! You want to marry me when there's no point! *Rin giggles*. We have the same last name anyways...plus I'm pretty sure it's illegal..."

He blushes as he tries to explain, "Of course we couldn't actually get a certificate or anything! What I mean is it would be more symbolic than literal. It would bind us to each other..."

"Soooooo…you want me just for yourself?" Rin teases, her eyes twinkling with mischievousness.

His unquestionably serious face breaks her joking demeanor as he takes her hand.

"I'm not playing around Rin. Will you swear yourself to me as I will to you? You told me that we can finally be reunited. Well I refuse to be with you until we promise ourselves to one another. This is my only request..." Len avows, his stare blazing with devotion.

Rin can feel her knees grow feeble as she replies, "…I swear myself to you and only you..."

Gradually he takes out the two rings that she bought them during Christmas last year. They both look upon the platinum lining of the jewelry, an infinity sign engraved in between their first names.

He begins to recite a traditional wedding oath, "I Len Kagamine, take you Rin Kagamine, to be my symbolic wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life..."

Without having to be told what to reply back (after years of having attended church with their parents) Rin proclaims, "I Rin Kagamine, take you Len Kagamine, to be my lawfully wedded symbolic husband. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health…until death do us part..."

The two of them kneel facing the bedroom window as the last rays of the setting sun make their way under the horizon. Once the sunset has finished Len slips the platinum ring onto her finger as she does to his.

"I may now kiss the bride..." Len announces.

Rin gives him a confused look and questions, "Aren't we going to say I do?"

He grins at her and clarifies, "We don't have to...there isn't a priest here asking us to do so..."

"Yeah that's true...but shouldn't we have a witness at least?" Rin asks sweetly, prolonging their kiss.

He begins to laugh hysterically as he proclaims, "I knew you would ask that! We do have a witness if you would like to know..."

She shoots him a very surprised stare and inquires, "Oh really?-Who?"

To answer her question he places his hand under his bed and pulls out a fishbowl with Tangie (the orange beta fish from the Blue Moon Festival) in it.

Rin is shocked and can't help but chuckle uncontrollably as she replies, "Hey~ that's _my fish_! The poor thing, he probably couldn't even see the bride and groom..."

**A/N: Music Shout Out:**** YouTube: Craig Armstrong – Morning Breaks: watch?v=_QtCNT51-8Y**

"Well at least he gets to see this..." Len mutters enticingly.

He places an open mouth onto hers which catches her off guard. The kiss is nothing like any kiss they have done before because during this phase in their lives…they are secretly man and wife…

Without speaking Rin lies herself onto his bed and whispers tenderly, "Come here…"

He follows her commands and lies atop her, his arms propped up as he mutters apprehensively, "Are you sure you want me to do this? I'm afraid of harming you while we…_you know_…"

Rin smiles at him softly, a glow emitting from her peachy skin. She displays their pretend wedding ring on her finger and says quietly, "I have never been more certain of anything else in my short life…"

A moment of silence passes between them till Rin reassures him even further, "I know you will hurt me, but I've hurt you so much more. This way we can be even…I will finally repay my debt to the man I love…"

His gaze is fixed on her face, at the gentle curves leading up to her small nose and plump mouth. He realizes that soon she will be in mind-boggling pain. He's so lost in his ponderings that he can't even respond back to her.

She breaks Len's thoughts when she asks turning away from him, "Do you have…um…the protection?"

"Huh? Errr...y-yeah. Hold on a sec." he replies leaving the room for a few minutes.

Len subsequently returns sporting a thin rubber condom around his dick. He cannot meet her trusting gaze and heads back towards her. He is now fully naked in front of his twin sister but imagines as though he isn't. Rin on the other hand is mostly clothed.

Abruptly she stops him from coming closer by placing her hand on his chest. Len isn't sure what she is doing. Silently Rin trails her fingertips down to his v-line, running her indexes over his scars. Her clear azure eyes are upset as she looks at them.

She then lies her warm palms over his self-injuries and coos, "These wounds were made for me...weren't they Len?"

He gestures yes with the corners of his mouth...he almost wants to cry but does not. Rin reaffirms his love for her when she stoops down to kiss the crosshatched blemishes around his waist. Len stares below at her woefully while she continues to caress his healed injuries. He wants them to disappear...but not even the love of his life can eradicate such deep wounds.

She whispers affectionately as she looks up at him, "Never again...right?"

"Never..." Len states in a low voice.

He then raises Rin off the floor and leads her to the mattress. They position themselves back onto his bed where they sit for a good long moment.

Out of nowhere Len questions, his heart hammering inside his chest, "If I start to hurt you…just raise your hand and tell me to stop…are…are you ready?"

Rin nods again and he watches attentively as she fidgets beneath him attempting to remove her underwear. She then pulls off her shirt and bra exposing her petite breasts. They're both bare now making it virtually impossible to speak to each other. A sharp breath of exhilaration escapes his lungs…

This is the end stop of any romance, the last step of all infatuated relationships…sex.

**A/N: Music Suggestion:** **YouTube: Hammock - How Can I Make You Remember Me: watch?v=aSu23ROWxIo**

"Do y-you want me to touch you first before we do it?" Len asks, his face feeling as though it's being burned.

She shakes her head no and mumbles, "N-no it's alright…it's too embarrassing for me to look at you while we do that. Let's just get to the f-final step…but if you want to I d-don't mind at all…"

"Nah'…you're right. I think I'm about to die from humiliation as it is. When we get u-used to each other…_in bed_ I mean, then we can try stuff like that…" Len proclaims throwing her a nervous grin.

Nothing happens amid them for a long time until Rin says, "...It's okay Len, do not be afraid…"

She gradually places her hand down his torso and grabs his penis. His stare widens as he feels her tiny fingers tug at his member.

A harsh gasp of air seeps out of his mouth as he proclaims, "It's f-fine…I'll do it m-myself…"

She lets go of his manhood and stares at him as he fumbles to meet her entrance. With great apprehension he leans forward. He misses. He leans forward again. He misses yet again…

"I'm s-sorry…I'm not sure exactly…where I s-should go…" Len pants restlessly, his appearance flushed red.

Rin huffs tensly as she clutches his shaft once more positioning him at her foyer.

He can feel the supple wetness of her crotch teasing the tip of his cock. With trembling hips he prods himself into her. She gasps and their eyes meet, each of them wears a look glazed over in longing.

Len focuses on her fervently as he ponders, _For so long I have wanted this…and now that it's here it almost feels like a dream. A dream I hope we never awaken from…a dream that I wish from the depths of my soul is genuine..._

Her walls tighten around him as she pants, "I l-love you L-len…"

"I love you t-too Rin…" he responds kissing the corner of her lips gently.

She throws her arms around his neck as he digs himself further inside her. Her slim thighs flex as he wriggles inside just beyond her womb. The more he moves the more rigid her body becomes, but he can't help it. He craves to annihilate her with his love.

And so Len sways in between her legs unhurriedly knowing that it is agonizing for her. He retrains himself at first, but the rims of her pussy are gripping every single inch of his member. He feels as though he's already about to burst. Thus Len gives in and begins to thrust back and forth more quickly. Rin mutters a small cry as he increases his pace.

"I'm s-sorry. Do you w-want me to stop?" Len questions staring down at her squinting eyes.

Small tears are riding the edges of her gaze as she states, "D-don't…keep going…it hurts but I'm o-okay Len…"

He kisses her for a second time then embraces her hips firmly as he motions to and fro. Len watches her hourglass midsection lightly quiver as he pulls outwards and inwards. He treasures every waking moment, fearful that everything really is _just his imagination_. Despite this he wants to please her. Without eyeing below he places his thumb over her clitoris and rubs it while they make love. She moans…

It surprises him so he presses his pelvic bone against it this time to which Rin states, "Nnnnn…L-len it's starting to f-feel good…"

They smile at each other as Len continues to do as she wants: he strokes her small pink rosebud as he rides her.

Rin can feel his dick grinding itself on the roof of her cunt making her inner confinements begin to swell. Meanwhile his groin pounds against her clit in...and aburptly everything is beginning to melt together. The furniture, the carpet, the bed, they can see nothing but each other and bit by bit everything else becomes a foggy grey. No one else is in his vision but Rin, likewise she cannot see anyone but Len, and out of the blue a noise interrupts their interlocked stares.

A dirty sound begins to emit itself from their love making. A subtle moist noise fills the stillness of the room to which Rin gasps in between erratic moans, "It s-sounds…dirty L-len…"

"…Nothing is dirty a-about us…it is the culmination of our passion. J-just embrace it…" Len exhales feverishly while he thrusts.

She watches as his arms tense up, the veins in his hands rise as he fights not to climax. At the same time Rin can discern her walls throbbing against her own will as he scrapes the sides of her pussy with his shaft. Her tiny body starts to get pulled with his as he extracts himself from her lower lips…and it's beginning to feel _truly_ gratifying...the soreness for Rin has steadily receded.

Len flashes her a desperate look as he stutters, "I c-can't hold out a-any longer…!"

"M-me neither. Len, I n-never want us to be s-separated again...!" Rin gasps as she props up her body to slip her tongue into his mouth.

She rolls it over his then kisses his cheeks with wistful tenderness. Their lower torsos quake beneath them carrying the rawness of euphoric pleasure. Len observes carefully at her breasts sway up and down as he becomes more aggressive. She's so beautiful that it distresses him knowing that he is deflowering her, but she was a flower who wanted to be destroyed…and they loved every millisecond of that destruction. Since this time around it was consensual for the twins. This time there were just two people in the room not three...

Even though for the both of them it wasn't their first times, it was almost as if it were…

After all, no such things as firearms were present, threats to their lives were gone, and the shadow of a mentally sick man cast over them was virtually nonexistent.

He smiles at her hopelessly as he whispers, "I l-love you s-so much it hurts…"

Rin returns his saddened grin, her cerulean eyes being speckled with a mixture of total bliss and hints of grief.

And Len can only think one thing, _She's just so very…lovely..._

He watches attentively at Rin's youthful face. From the vibrant burgundy tinted across her nose to the sight of her delicately trembling shoulders. Witnessing her like this make his heart full of an unknown feeling he longs to never forget…

And without warning Len hastens himself to the point he witnesses Rin begin to spasm. She arches her back allowing him to see for the first time her pussy spread wide open with his cock entirely stuffed inside it. A bit of transparent watery-like fluids are oozing from her cunt, and the blanket that has been modestly covering them up until now has fallen off. They are now completely exposed to each other.

Len abstains from his crotch grinding to take a better look at her…to be specific at her carnal-like beauty.

She notices he has stopped moving and covers her face as she shouts, "D-don't look at me L-len…it's too embarrassing!"

He grips both her wrists and struggles to remove them from her eyes so that he can see her before he cums. After a minor tussle, Len has successfully removed her arms and beholds her glazed-over features. Her cloudy eyes dart around fearfully as she bites her lower lip. She's still too self-conscious so he trys to console her.

Len leans towards Rin and whispers holding her chin, "I want you to look at me while I make love to you…don't be ashamed Rin…please don't look away alright? I know you're scared but just bear with me for now…"

"O-okay I won't…" Rin replies back removing her arms from her head.

He starts up again. The familiar feeling of butterflies in his twin's stomach returns. He thrashes his rod in and out of her pussy trying to ensure that he is hitting her g-spot and he knows he is. Whenever he touches the right place with his shaft Rin's stomach tightens up, she jolts and shuts her eyes. She's so tantalizingly gorgeous right now he doesn't even know how he got her to return his feelings.

…And swiftly from nowhere the desire breaks him from his contemplations once more. The sides of Rin's cunt are pulsating madly while her abdomen spasms every time he hits her cervix.

Len inhales harshly as he invades the outside of her uterus after which he announces, "Shit…I seriously can't h-hold out anymore Rin…but I want y-you to c-cum before I do…"

Rin answers his prayers when she whimpers faintly as her stare abruptly flashes open. Her expression is both confused and taken aback, her features being embellished with uncertainty. She instantly closes her eyelids and throws her head backwards into the pillows. Her mouth is completely open while she quivers uncontrollably. Saliva is trickling from her lips while she utters seductive cries every time he rams into her.

And suddenly her back is arched with her legs bolstered upward. She wants to consume all of him. Her pussy clenches in short intervals as it grips his cock. Len can only watch in awe as she has her first penile-vaginal orgasm in front of him. He freaks out when he notices her cunt become even more satisfyingly constricted. It's practically as though her petite figure is purposely trying to suck every drip right out of him. And unbeknownst to Rin, Len becomes afraid that the condom won't be able to hold all of his cum, but he persists to fuck her.

They're both writhing and panting viciously now, their visions being shut in blinded ecstasy. Len bends down and licks Rin's neck drooling a little as all of his perceptions start to intermingle. All he can see is the pink of her mouth make short inaudible cries as he pummels her, the sounds of slapping skin echoing off the walls. She gasps quickly as he reaches the ends of her pussy for the thousandth time, hitting the deepest part of her womb with violent force. He persists to enter her as far as he can, and with such an intrusion Rin can detect every motion he makes. She never wants it to end…and neither does he.

Regardless of this Len loses his battle. He cums just as his twin is almost finishing having her own euphoric episode. He grabs one of her breasts firmly while his free hand grips the bedding sheets. His lower stomach commences to shudder. Short grunts make their way out of his throat to which Rin responds back by piercing her fingers into his upper arms. They thrust their groins back and forth together until the last semblance of blatant yearning leaves them. They both feel as though they have just drained 18 years' worth of passion in less than 12 minutes...but those short moments seemed like everything that mattered, and with it their connection was sealed.

All there was in the room now is the hampered breathing of their sexual labor in the cold air of late winter. Len lifts his head from the crook of Rin's neck and they just stare at one another. They only want to stare…they don't need words to communicate any longer. They've reached a point where their romance doesn't need speech, just silent gazes and subtle grins.

But their so incredibly brittle contentment is obliterated when both of them jerk as they hear the creak of the front door open...accompanied with the clamor of Auntie Kay throwing her keys onto the kitchen table downstairs…

**A/N: Yes readers they've done it. I tried so hard not to use dirty words to describe their first time having sex, but unfortunately I ran out of synonyms. So I thought what the hell, there aren't enough words to use so I might as well, and it's rated M for a reason. Writing this for me was somewhat awkward. **

**I didn't know if I should make it up or take it from my own personal experiences with *ahem* sex. But I found a solution! -Read stories online and find out how other writers deal with this topic. I hope I didn't disappoint too much. Writing about such a taboo subject isn't the easiest thing in the world but I try! Plus I don't really like writing about sex in general. I enjoy plot building more than smut.**

**Now back to "The Start Of Something Sinister", did you feel like the ceremony was fitting? I wanted to make it simple rather than elaborate (they couldn't actually get married anyways) so no frilly bull-crap here. I hope I got some chuckles out of you guys with the fish Tangie since apparently I've made some of you cry with my plotline, which is surprising.**

**I mean I made strangers cry! I think it's really astounding and I thank all of you who have been reading since the very beginning despite me being a noob.**

**Also I want to clarify that this story is for older audiences. Some kids have messaged me about several things and I thought holy shit I really don't want pre-teens/small kids reading this lol. It's not good for their still developing minds! I do not condone incest, premarital sex, cheating, self-abuse, AND ESPECIALLY pedophilia, so this is why obviously I don't want to tarnish the minds of the super young. **

**I'm just throwing my general concern out there as a fairly honest person but ultimately it's their decision whether they want to corrupt themselves or not. Oh and I'm also not preaching any moral religion as I don't really believe in religion though I was raised to. I put it in the story to sentimentalize their struggle.**

**The story is intended to be realistic and I know a few of you wanted it to be "innocent". Well sex and incest is not innocent to me in any way.**

**Also if you skipped straight to this chapter b/c of the title (and haven't read previous chapters yet) you just basically fucked yourself over. Nothing else will make sense to you and the significance of their struggle is lost completely. I hope that as a reader you didn't do that. And if you did, well too bad for you b/c you won't be able to get the same feel now. Well it's your loss not mine anyhow.**

**Well nonetheless to those of you who read in order congrats! You didn't sell yourself short, a virtual high-five for you guys****!＼****(^_^)／**

**That being said, thanks for reading and please review! :D**


	25. Chapter 25: A Certain Someone's Revenge

**Chapter 25: A Certain Someone's Revenge**

Yes, the imminence of being caught was upon them. The twins threw their stares at the lock of the bedroom doorknob. They were temporarily safe. Before Len had come back into his room (with the condom) he had turned the latch closed first, but this gave little time for the two to dress and separate before Aunt Kagamine would head upstairs looking for them…

Wordlessly they dove out of bed and scrambled themselves onto the floor. With lighting speed they dressed themselves as they scurried about; both their hearts were thrashing about more fiercely then when they were making love…because they knew they'd be in prison for the offense they've just committed…

Slowly Len opens the door, his clammy hands trembling as he does so. He watches with tremendous panic as Rin crouches herself to her room, her legs quivering as she walks away.

"Hey guys-! I bought some food! Come down and eat while it's still warm kids!" Auntie Kay called from downstairs.

There was no reply so she decided to go up to check for them herself…

_Shit! Shit! SHIT!,_ Len thought restlessly, _The entire room smells like sex and it even looks like two people just fucked in here! How the hell am I supposed to hide the evidence?!_

Hurriedly he ripped off all of his beddings and threw them inside his closet. He ran towards the window and opened it in a mad fit trying to let the outside air dilute the aroma of sweat that filled his quarters. Len persisted to rip off his condom throwing it in the trash while grabbing a fragrant aroma spray spreading the liquid all over his room like bullets.

Then a chillingly deafening knock resonated through his door followed by, "Len- are you in there? I brought you and your sister food. Is it alright if I come into your room? I feel like I haven't seen you both in so long…"

He took in a troubled breath before he responded, "S-sure Aunty Kay! Sorry the door was locked. I was…c-changing…"

Len commenced to click open the lock on his door while observing his Aunt step into his bedroom, the veins in his neck pulsing frenziedly the entire time.

"Um…Len why is there a fish bowl on the floor in the middle of your room? I know as your Aunt it's not my place to act as your mother, but isn't that a safety hazard for when you get out of bed?" Auntie Kay questioned trying to conceal her noticeable amusement.

Mentally Len was contemplating, _Fuck my life! I completely forgot to put away Rin's pet before she came in! NO! Don't panic Len-it's okay! You can come up with an excuse…common THINK DAMNIT!_

"Oh! Y-yeah about that.-Well you see…I was cleaning my room and I decided to put the fishbowl on the floor while I wiped off my desk. So it uh…wouldn't get in the way…" Len explained grinning uneasily.

"Ah…that's a good idea Len." Aunty Kay asserted as she stepped further into his room.

He watched as her face scanned their surroundings. She then said, "Well keep up the good work Len. Just remember: a project half-finished was never intended to be a project at all."

"Huh? I'm sorry Auntie Kay I don't get your metaphor…" Len declared appearing confused.

She sighs before she explains, "What I mean is if you're going to do something then finish it till its end. I'll leave you be while you clean up the rest of this mess. By the way where is your twin sister?"

Len swallows an unspoken shriek before he announces, "I-in her room I think…"

Aunt Kagamine smiles at him one last time before she leaves closing his door gently.

Once he was alone Len immediately slumped onto the ground and exhaled a sigh of unrepressed fatigue. If one single meeting with her after having sex with his sister felt like this...how would he manage to cope for the rest of his life?

For Len always hiding, being constantly paranoid, and jumping at the slightest of noises below was not any type of living he could deal with. He had to talk to Rin about keeping their forbidden relationship unknown to everyone. They had to make a solid foolproof plan of not getting caught.

He peeked out of his room down the hall towards Rin's quarters. He could detect a faint conversation between his sibling and Auntie Kay going on about something he couldn't quite make out.

Len gulped hard as he thought, _Rin-I know you can do this! Don't let her get to you...it's alright to lie when it comes to our secret, so please dear god don't let it slip...!_

He closes his door swiftly just as Aunt Kagamine departs from her bedroom, a flash of her crimson lipstick and pixie haircut hits his eyes before shutting it all the way. Len went on to lean against a wall waiting for the sound of Auntie Kay's steps going down the stairs before creeping to Rin's side of the house.

After turning the doorknob he found his twin in fetal position on her bed staring vacantly out a window. The air between them is unnervingly still.

Regardless Len steps near her and asks shaking a bit, "...Did y-you tell her about us? Were…were you able to lie...or are we in trouble...?"

"...We're safe for now. I told her I've been catching up on sleep which is why she hasn't seen me often, and she believed me. Len...this is not any way I want to exist. I love Auntie Kay. I don't want to have to mislead her every second I run into her!-How are we going to live like this?!" Rin whispers loudly, her face enveloped in gloom.

Len strolls towards Rin and sits on her bed running his hands through her locks as he says, "Shh, it's okay...it'll be fine. I'll think of a way our relationship can work. We have to document her work schedule, and her habits included, but until then we must pretend we are the way we used to be before we...became lovers. Can you do that for me Rin? Promise me that you will be able to pretend not to love me..."

She turns in her bed to look at him. Rin then slowly places Len's palm over her cheek and proclaims in a hushed voice, "...I think I can do that. After all, we've been lying about our feelings and our past for so long that this will seem easy...right Len?"

He grins at her despairingly as he replies, "...Yeah it'll be easy. When we think of each other I'm sure we can get through this. Remember Rin, college is the key to our freedom...just a few more months...we can wait it out..."

"I know we can, and I'll fake being not in love with you until then, like I always have..." Rin avows tenderly.

The twins smirk at one another helplessly before departing knowing that unless Len gets finished with recording their Aunt's schedule that they have to play the game 'keep away' all over again.

**Why I never said a thing...**

School commenced like usual for the Kagamine siblings and their hum-drum lives resumed. But with each passing week both of them were finding it increasingly harder to keep up the front of being simply regular high school kids.

It was already April when Len finished writing up Auntie Kay's habits after a little more than a month of covertly tracking her. He was sure his documents were perfectly written. From the hours she slept to how long it took her to commute back home. Everything was flawlessly calculated about the time intervals he could be with Rin without getting discovered. Len felt certain there was no way his files on Auntie Kay's agendas could be broken, and he would be right excluding unplanned circumstances.

Len was so hyped to tell Rin he had finished documenting her that as soon as he saw his twin at school he sprinted to tell her the great news.

"-Hey Rin! Guess what!" Len stated eagerly, his uniform tie thrown over his shoulder.

She beamed at him then straightens his tie while she asks, "What is it? You know talking to me so forwardly on campus is dangerous right Len?"

"Yeah I know but I'm done with writing up Auntie Kay's work and habits schedule!" he explains enthusiastically, his mouth unable to stop smiling.

"YOU HAVE?! OH MY GOSH THAT'S WONDERFUL! NOW WE CAN FINALLY BE TOGETHER!" Rin broadcasts.

The two of them persisted to grab each other's hands and twirl about dancing somewhat in the school's courtyard. But suddenly they stop. They remember they're surrounded by others who will look down on them and so they resume playing their false personalities: being just a normal brother and sister.

Rin gazes down shyly as she declares, "...I completely forgot...we were still at school..."

"M-me too...well uh, I guess I'll see you at home then..." Len asserts timidly looking away.

"Y-yeah, bye for now..." Rin mutters blushing slightly.

"See yah'..." Len replies.

And with this last saying they set off to their classes with lunchtime having ended, but there was one person still lingering around...

Rin and Len assumed they were alone on the empty side of the campus quad but they weren't. Gumi had coincidently seen the whole thing from an empty classroom with open windows just around the corner.

She was the only one who had noticed them and she wondered, _What is it that I just witnessed? They were...talking so informally, they were even dancing...but they don't even acknowledge each other during class. So what in the world is going on between those two? I'm so lost right now I don't even know what to say…_

However Gumi wasn't the only one concerned about the peculiar dynamic between Rin and Len, Kiyoteru had been as well for some time now.

Weeks passed and another school day was ending. Len was getting ready to leave the boy's changing rooms after another track practice in which he lost. Kiyoteru was observing him from the edges of his vision waiting to be alone with his rival for a second time, and Len was fully aware of this. As track team members they shared the same general agendas so this encounter was inescapable.

**A/N: Music proposal:**** YouTube: Archive - Lights: watch?v=OuLLfeZ9J9s**

However Kiyoteru was looking for something more than just a casual conversation. He was going to check up on his black-mailed pawn…Len Kagamine. That's right…Kiyoteru had been subjugating him since around early winter when he pledged to sign the contract Kiyoteru offered. And Len had signed it alright.

Kiyoteru surveyed him with malicious intent swarming in his eyes. This was the moment he was waiting for. He was going to obliterate his blond-haired foe…and the time was now.

He sneered domineeringly at Len before he asked while putting on his uniform, "You will do anything won't you to ensure that Rin does not find out you have violated her in her sleep. You amuse me, but only in a way in which I pity you. The agreement you signed.-Was it worth all the misfortune now that you're a chronic loser? I saw the power of our deal in action today during the 400 meter dash where you forfeited so willingly. It surprised me Kagamine…"

Len gritted his teeth before he muttered, "As long as she doesn't know then I don't care that you're extorting me. Graduation is coming soon anyways. The failures I gain now will do little difference in the mass scheme of my entire high school career..."

At this comment Kiyoteru became angry by how apathetic Len was taking his punishment after which he retorted, "You do not mind that you are _barely passing_ most of your classes, that you had to devastate Neru, and that even though you paid me cash...that I will still tell Rin the truth?"

"...You wouldn't fucking dare. I signed that bullshit contract you gave me!" Len stated ferociously, his nose crinkling in a snarl.

"Oh you mean this? It means nothing...just like you...you mean absolutely NOTHING..." Kiyoteru announced menacingly.

He then pulled out the agreement with Len's signature on it and took out a lighter. He placed it under the paper arrangement and watched with satisfaction as Len's expression went from enraged to horrified. Len had just wasted two months of his life obeying Kiyoteru's commands only for him to burn all of his labor right before his very eyes.

As a result Len loses his humanity. He's decided that he will beat the living shit out of him. Len persisted to leap from his side of the lockers towards Kiyoteru to shove his elbow against his tormentor's neck. And with his lower arms he knocks Kiyoteru's head against the locker doors, the piercing clamor of metal resounding around them. Kiyoteru proceeds to choke as though there is water caught in his esophagus but for some reason he's smiling, and it infuriates Len even more.

He flashes his sharp canines as he questions his four-eyed competitor, "Why the fuck do you keep smiling!? What's so funny about your own slow and excruciating death!?"

Len abruptly begins to use his free hand to hurl it into Kiyoteru's abdomen several times. As a result of this he spits out blood onto the arm that Len is suffocating him with.

Gratification enters Len's chest at the sight of Kiyoteru's dirtied crimson mouth afterwards he declares, "You leave me alone or I will fucking murder you until shards of your glasses become imbedded into your eye sockets Hiyama..."

Kiyoteru chuckles evilly as he announces, "Ooh you said my last name. You must really be pissed off right now, am I right?"

He clenches his jaw tight as he uppercuts Kiyoteru under the chin with merciless strength. Kiyoteru then went on to sink his back onto the locker vaults, spit blood from his lips in Len's direction, and pull out a phone.

Len looks on attentively wondering if he should break his cell or leave his already badly injured opponent alone. He observes Kiyoteru as he puts the cellphone on speaker. Rin's voice starts to come through. Instantaneously Len grips the phone out of his hand and heaves it over the lockers, the sound of a cracking screen reverberating throughout the bathroom.

Kiyoteru snickered madly at Len as he mumbled, "It's too late now...I told her to meet us here hours ago. I merely called to remind her. At last she will see what a son of a bitch you really are Len Kagamine..."

"No she won't Hiyama..." Len whispers, his gaze hidden by a downcast shadow.

With that being murmured Len treads towards Kiyoteru and begins to strangle him with both hands. He tightens his grip around his neck, red fluid from his tyrant's mouth dribbles itself on his fingers...and still it's not enough. Seeing him bleed isn't what Len wants...he demands to witness him _die_...

Further and further he digs his fingernails into Kiyoteru's pale neck as he wrings his hands around it. Every small movement Kiyoteru makes Len detests, he craves to strangle the life right out of him, and nothing can stop him…nothing except his sister's honest voice…

"STOP IT LEN!" Rin screams from the back of the boy's locker room.

He jerks at the reverberation of her voice then meets his twin's terrified stare. Slowly he unwinds his fingers around Kiyoteru's neck and looks at his tarnished palms. There is scarlet ink smeared all over his arms and he quickly turns to meet her vision yet again.

His sister's eyes begin to water as she asks, "...Why would you do this Len!?"

He cannot meet her pure eyes and mutters defeatedly, "...I don't know why...my body just started going haywire and I let it run amok...I'm s-sorry Rin...I don't know what happened to me..."

She ignored his explanation and ran to her ex's side yelling, "Oh my god is he dead!?"

His twin places her index and middle finger on the pulse of his wrist.

It's still palpitating so Rin exhales a lungful of relief before she scolds crossly, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ALMOST _MURDERED_ HIM! Len this is unacceptable! Kiyoteru is a good person!-Why would you ever want to hurt him!?"

At this statement Kiyoteru flashes his lids open and smiles at Rin sadly then states, "He's hurt me because I'm trying to keep him away from you..."

"Why would you want to do that Kiyoteru?" Rin asks, her stare pained with mourning.

"Because he loves you just as I do. But he is your brother...so it can never be. Here, you must see this. I took a photo of him kissing you several months ago. I know this may come as a surprise but Len has been in love with you for a very long time, most likely even before high school. It is my job as someone who cares for you to look out for your best interests, and Len fucking his sister is not one of them..." Kiyoteru explains standing up gradually.

Len looks on with complete dread as Rin stares at the photo that Kiyoteru had pulled out from his pocket. He cannot even speak at the moment. Len doesn't want Rin to know that he's been in love with her for basically…_his whole life_. He's afraid that her knowing this will anger her, disgust her, or worse...make her afraid of him.

Even though their love is requited now, Rin believed it was only a fairly recent thing...she knew that their childhood together had sexual encounters in it but that wasn't love...what they had now was love. Now that she knew how long he'd really been feeling about her would it…_frighten Rin or not_? Was what Len was truly thinking.

"…Kiyoteru why are you blackmailing my brother? You aren't like this…why are you stooping so low?" Rin asked looking at him with hurt eyes.

Rin defended him. As an outcome of this Len could only slump himself onto the locker benches in pure relief. She really did love him regardless of how long he's lied to her about his feelings. She understood that he had to suppress them for her safety. So even though Rin now knew he's loved her for most of his life, she recognized it was only for her protection he had concealed this for so long…she wasn't going to question Len about kissing her in her sleep so many months ago…

Kiyoteru on the other hand was infuriatingly puzzled so he asked, "Wait a minute. Why aren't you upset that Len violated you while you were asleep? ...No it couldn't be...are you already _fucking _him?!"

Rin's eyes broadened as she steadily threw her stare downwards in shame. She could only be mute as she gazed at the floor. Len conversely turned away hiding his frustrated yet wounded appearance…and Kiyoteru merely looked at them with absolute revulsion.

"...I fucking knew it…You're both in for a surprise as well. I have my own dirty secret you see. I've prepared just for this occasion. You may hate me for this Rin but I don't care what you think anymore…" Kiyoteru announced cryptically.

Len stares up and meets his glare as he clarifies, "...What are you going to do to us Kiyoteru? Our parents are already dead. There's nothing more you can plan to destroy our lives…"

Kiyoteru laughs darkly as he explains, "Oh but you're so wrong Len! For months now I've been stalking you both. I was positive that you would make a move on your sister and I was right! I have compiled over a hundred photos of you together kissing, holding hands, and acting against the law…you thought you were alone during those times you were together…but you were so very wrong…"

Rin flashes Kiyoteru a frantic look as she questions, "Why would you do this to us Kiyoteru?! I know you're better than this! Why are you playing the antihero?! I thought you weren't like this at all and I know you aren't!"

"Well then you seriously have a terrible judgment of character Rin. I'm not the prince charming you thought I was now am I? Who I really am is a jealous, egotistical prodigy who has to win at any cost. But for some reason when it came to Len I was always second…I was chronically in his shadow. So I began dating you out of malice, but it didn't play out as I had wanted it to. Now here we are with all our sickening truths splattered like blood on the floor..." Kiyoteru declared smugly.

When the Kagamine twins did not reply back to him he illustrated, "So what will it be: jail for battery Len, rape of your sister, incest charges, or perhaps all three?"

Rin's pupils began to water as she whispered, "It's not our fault we're like this Kiyoteru…"

"Oh _really_…? So fucking your siblings is just a product of liking each other right? If everyone did what they wanted to all the time I would've raped you myself when we were going out…! It isn't fair that Len gets to be the one who has sex with you. It was supposed to be me!" he asserted heartlessly, his raven eyes narrowing with raw hatred.

"You don't understand Kiyoteru, you really don't…" Len muttered beneath his breath.

"I don't need to understand _anything_! You're banging your little sister and you expect me not to tell the authorities?! Fuck that! I'm going to them right now! Have a nice life you demented freaks…" Kiyoteru said in a low voice as he exited the boy's locker room.

"Wait! You have to know! Please listen to me at least just this once and you'll realize why we're like this Kiyoteru…" Rin pleaded, her clear cerulean eyes soiled with tears.

She then went on to explain their pasts about being molested by Mr. Yamaha (their seemingly family-orientated neighbor). Rin did not spare any details and recounted every single aspect that happened to her and Len...

When Rin finished she rubbed her cheeks weakly dabbing away her sobbing. Len monitored Kiyoteru wondering if he would be understanding to their abysmal histories.

But the reaction on his face surprised them both. Kiyoteru wore a demeanor that humans rarely ever saw. It was a blend of subtle disappointment, solemnity, and weariness. Both twins watched him contemplating his next move.

Suddenly he murmured barely enough for them to hear, "...I want you both to follow me. Don't ask why…just do it before I think twice about it…"

Len was mistrustful of his bossiness and declared, "I'm not letting you take us anywhere unless you explain your actions first Hiyama..."

"You'll know when we get there! Now either you shut the fuck up or I'm changing my mind..." Kiyoteru hissed, his face cast in a harsh light.

Rin nodded to her brother and whispered reassuringly, "Len…I think he understands. Just do as he asks…"

"…But Kiyoteru just-" Len went on to say before Rin shouted, "Don't argue with him please…! He might change his mind…"

Kiyoteru stared at Len with tolerant eyes and said, "I won't snitch on you, but you have to go to my house before I can let you both go…"

Len couldn't understand why someone he had just tried murdering was attempting to help him so he questioned, "Is this a trick or for real? I mean why would you wanna' help me? I almost killed you..."

"It's…for real…and I do realize that you've injured me, but that's not what's important at the moment. We must go to my house. Let's just put it at this for the meantime: I have no intention of finishing off people that are already pathetic remains of who they could've been…" Kiyoteru explained gazing at Rin's bleak disposition.

The twins at that moment grasped that he would never uncover their taboo love to the world...because he felt sorry for them. However if it weren't for Rin telling him about Mr. Yamaha they would be in prison.

For Kiyoteru despite being evil he was _still logical._ There was no need for him to overkill his opponents. The second Rin said "molested" Kiyoteru perceived that they had died a very long time ago. The fun in torturing them was gone afterwards.

His justification convinced the Kagamine twins to go to his expansively modern home. What they would witness there would be imprinted in their memories till the end of their days…

**A/N: Hello again readers! Sometimes when I write I can see the troubled expressions on the characters faces and I feel bad lol, but then I think...**_**whoa**_**…if I can get immersed into my own story how do others reading deal with it? It's crazy how mere words can change your emotions, that's why writing is so fun for me I guess.**

**Just around five chapters or so left people. It's exciting but sad all at once kinda' like graduation (i.e. elementary promotion, middle school, etc.). I'm not going to be writing for a while after I finish "The Start Of Something Sinister" because around that time finals are coming up and I have to register for summer school.**** =/**

**As a fanfiction noob I still cannot understand this pattern on this website. I have way more people who follow and fave me than who review compared to other stories. It's probably b/c I'm not established on this site yet.**

**Now there…enough about me, back to the story. Based on the voting poll on my profile page people want me to write the last chapter in Len's perspective first person (which I will do for about half of the last chapter). This will be easy to do b/c I based Len off of me to some extent.**

**Someone asked me about doing a blog on deviantart. If you want me to do that since after this story is finished I'll be off fanfiction for a while **_**do the poll above my profile page, it's only 2 answers (you must be logged in to participate).**_

**- Thanks for reading again and please review!**** (^‿^)**


	26. Chapter 26: You Are Both Set Free

**Chapter 26: You Are Both Set Free**

Rin and Len could only wordlessly follow Kiyoteru into the school's parking lot. As they trailed behind him for the first time Len saw his sister's ex in the way that she perceived him: detached, isolated, and remote. The mystery that enveloped his spectacled-wearing classmate was more challenging to decipher than his dreams had been.

Thus the still hesitant Len bit his thumb as he wondered, _Apparently he feels pity for us. Somehow that isn't a good enough of a reason to go out of his way in assisting Rin and me. What's he up to…? _

Kiyoteru was just about to unlock his pricey car when Len asked, "I'm still not convinced…this is way outta' character for you Kiyoteru. What happened to revenge? What makes you think that one small act of kindness will change my opinion of you?"

He turned around gradually and scowled at Len as he whispered, "I don't care what _you_ think about me…"

Steadily Kiyoteru turned to gaze at Rin who was unable to reciprocate his stare.

_Ah…, _Len realized,_ It's for Rin. He loves her…doesn't he? Even though he pretends not to…It's written all over his bitter face…_

Len turned his back to his sister and Kiyoteru as he announced, "Scratch off what I just said. I know why you did it…forget I mentioned anything…"

He knew that if he kept pushing Kiyoteru's patience that eventually he might not want to help them at all. He decided it wasn't worth the trouble of trying to get down to the bottom of why Hiyama wouldn't explain more to them. The look on his face was enough information.

Kiyoteru went on to hop into his car and declare, "Get in…"

Rin obeyed and sat in the rear passenger seats along with Len. Kiyoteru turned on the ignition, put the car in drive, buckled his seat belt and then they were off.

When they arrived to his home Rin immediately noticed Len's obvious amazement.

She glanced over at her brother and conceived that this was the first time he had been near Kiyoteru's residence.

Rin bit the tip of her thumb as she pondered, _That's right. Len has never seen his house before. He has no idea of what Kiyoteru's home-life is like, or how he acts in the place that he calls his room... _

She suddenly remembers the art work area and the painting Kiyoteru drew of her and frets, _Oh…I almost forgot…about that portrait of me. Len doesn't know about it does he?_ _I can't help but wonder_ _what he would do if he found out that Kiyoteru removed my clothes in this very house..._

Before Len could say anything Rin sputtered out, "Uh…um Kiyoteru? Are you sure you don't want to hide anything first before you bring us further into your home? Like maybe personal things or just stuff in general...?"

Kiyoteru turned back to her responding in a monotone voice, "If you're hinting to that painting I drew of you almost naked then you don't have to worry. I tore it to pieces after we broke up..."

Len promptly whipped his head around towards Rin and whispered angrily, "...Did he just say he drew you _naked_...?"

She sucked in her lips and nodded ashamed at the fact she had actually done something so preposterous.

Regardless Rin explains, "…He asked me to. I couldn't...say no..."

Her twin abruptly becomes ill-tempered as he scolds, "Freaking Christ Rin! So you just drop your clothes for anyone who asks?!"

Len couldn't wrap his head around how she could be so blind of Kiyoteru's two-faced ways. The thing was…Rin inherently trusted _everyone_. It was the exact same character flaw that caused her to become a victim of Mr. Yamaha so of course Len would be upset.

Kiyoteru frightens them both when he shouts, "Kagamine you better fucking stop it...I coerced her into taking her clothes off. Now be mindful and remember that you are in MY domain right now. Have some respect and know that my tolerance for you is virtually close to nothing..."

Before Len can reply back from out of nowhere a lady down the hall starts yelling, "Ohhhhh Kiyoteruuu~! Is that you baby? Are you homeeeee?"

Their black-haired friend curtly shuts his eyes tight in distress as he mutters, "…Shit...I tried to avoid this but it seems as though it was to no avail..."

Bit by bit an older woman peers her head around a corner wall and smiles at the three of them slurring, "How cuuuuute! You've brought two little blonde children to our abode! Hello kids I am Kiyoteru's mother, just call me Mrs. Hiyama instead.-Anyone wanna' drink or smoke a blunt with me?"

Mrs. Hiyama then brushes her long raven locks behind her back and lifts a joint to her thin lips. She ensues to light the psychoactive drug inhaling it with trembling fingers.

As Mrs. Hiyama puffs away she lazily strolls over to Len and begins sniffing him as she says, "This one is awful handsome. What's your name honey...?"

Rin can only watch in horror as Mrs. Hiyama proceeds to grab Len's package as she garbles, "Common…make love to me blondie. My husband doesn't even fuck me anymore..."

Len cannot even fathom what is happening to him at the moment, but he knows one thing for sure…that he's completely turned-off. Mostly by the stench of weed and whine that cling to her over-priced Chanel attire.

But Kiyoteru is even more disgusted.

He screams at his mother vehemently, "STOP ACTING LIKE A FUCKING CHILD AND GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THEM! THEY DO NOT CONCERN YOU!"

His mother turns her half-lidded eyes in his direction and hollers, "No! You arrrrren't the bosssss of me! You're just like youuuu're father youuuu know that!? Always acting so friggin' self-righteous! I can take whatever joints I want! I'm the parent…!"

Kiyoteru grits his teeth before he retorts, "You have no right to claim the title of _parent_! Parents DO NOT treat their children this way! In addition to that when you're using you turn into a whole other person! I have had enough of this nonsense! Why don't you just get over yourself already and grasp that smoking pot or drinking wine aren't going to make your problems disappear! Now either you stop acting a fool or so help me I will beat you…just like dad does..."

Mrs. Hiyama's eyes widen in terror for a moment but then she announces loudly, "Well fine then! Be just like your father! Why don't you go annnnd hit me in the fucking face! Just cause' I like to have a little fun every now and thennn! Common Kiyoteru! Hit me in the fucking face!"

Kiyoteru's mother thrusts her intoxicated body at him, taunting her child to make good on his promise. He lifts his hand up in the air and strikes his mother with ruthless power on her cheek. Len grabs Rin in his arms and protectively drags her away from them. They have no idea how to deal with this kind of situation; all they can do is watch in fear.

Meanwhile his mother is stunned. She didn't really believe her son would actually do it (as he had threatened to do so many times before but hadn't). Mrs. Hiyama's face is now a burgundy red…just like the drunk whites of her eyes.

Instead of crying his mother swallows hard and says, "F-fine!-Be that way! Be just like your son of a bitch dad! I don't need you as a son anyhow! I'm leaving this shitty atmosphere..."

She then departs from the room carrying a huge zip lock of weed while in her other hand is a glass of wine. Len and Kiyoteru do not look on at her as she goes but Rin does. She watches her classmate's mother wobble herself into a Rols Royce Phantom ensuing to swerve the vehicle out of the house's private driveway.

The living room is eerily quiet with the three of them unsure of how to move onwards from such an uncomfortable circumstance.

The walls began to narrow in until Rin whispers trembling somewhat, "Kiyoteru.-I had n-no idea...I'm so very sorry..."

He turns around and replies as he steadies his hands, "...Now you know why I was so jealous of your lives. You had it all…and I kept wondering why even though I was rich that my parents turned out to be such disappointments..."

Len suddenly cut in declaring shakily, "…They're like that because they're trying to a-avoid something. People only do drugs or alcohol to avoid their realities, and when they get off their high they're left with the same problems they had before. It's s-sad but it's true...but most people deny that saying they just want to have fun when actually they're hurting inside...Your mother is just t-the same I guess…"

Kiyoteru returned Len's stare and replied, his hands no longer quivering, "That would be true I suppose. For once we can agree on something. However I think we should not stray from our original purpose. And as for what you just witnessed. Pretend like you hadn't seen it…just as I will pretend you hadn't tried to kill me or sleep with your own sister…"

The Kagamines can only nod back as they follow Kiyoteru while he leads them to a basement. Kiyoteru afterwards opens a concealed door on a wall. They are met with something so disturbing both of them struggle not to argue with him.

Dozens of photos of Rin and Len acting as though they weren't related flooded the basement walls. Numerous pictures of the two cuddling on their secret dates to kissing were all present except for them having sex.

Regardless of this...that wasn't why Rin and Len were so shocked.

Kiyoteru forgot to mention one huge thing to Rin while they were dating.-That besides having numerous odd, artistic, or technological hobbies that he happened to be a _seasoned _blackmailer/stalker. It wasn't just Rin and Len's snapshots on the walls but everyone that could have been a potential enemy to Kiyoteru.

Documents of negative things people did going from Miku Hatsune to Gakupo Kamui along with several others were littered all over the cellar.

Rin darts her eyes at Kiyoteru and asks hysterically, "Kiyoteru what is the meaning of this?! Have you no sense of ethics for your fellow man?!"

Kiyoteru just stares at her, his vision devoid of emotion as he declares, "Don't judge me for my profitable hobby when you are not one to talk. Besides, you saw my mother Rin. The way I am now is the result of my fucked-up family, just like your love with your brother is the product of a sick past…"

He silences her with this statement. Despite his brutal honesty Len asks, "Wait a second. What do you mean a profitable hobby? Are you saying that you get paid to do this?"

"That is correct. You see Kagamine I do not do things unless they benefit me. The very few people at school who know I can do this ask me to. You two on the other hand were done out of my own curiosity. I turned out to be accurate on my gut feelings that you were both involved with each other beyond family ties…" Kiyoteru explained.

Len is not buying it so he asks, "What kind of lowlifes would pay you to do this? Common name drop some one…I want proof of what you're saying…"

"Sorry but my clients' profiles are strictly confidential..." Kiyoteru states indifferently.

Len becomes irate and yells, "Enough of this bullshit!-Why did you really drag us here?!"

"...To avenge my sins. My jealousy only craved the surface appearance of your lives. I comprehended that despite having dysfunctional parents...that they were still able to keep me safe. You guys contrariwise had a foul childhood. Being the analytical person that I am…I see your situation as a prison in itself. Loving but never in the daylight, like trapped animals…this is a negative consequence of your shared pasts. Your very punishment is the love that you crave. I see no purpose in putting either of you in jail when you're already in one. So as you can see, this my atonement. Now help me burn the evidence..." Kiyoteru commands holding out a lighter to them.

"No..." Rin whispers and goes on to say, "I can't burn only our photos. You have to get rid of _all_ of the harmful documents you've made about these people..."

Len holds his sister's hand and declares, "I agree. What makes us different from the people you extorted on the walls? What if they have awful pasts too? They're just like us...hell they're even like you. Everyone is human no matter how bad…"

Kiyoteru starts to laugh uncontrollably as he proclaims, "Oh Kagamine you altruistic fool...! All these people on the walls do not deserve my sympathy and only by a slim chance that I feel sorry enough to help you even now...So hurry up before I stop being sympathetic. Saving these 'people' is not your responsibility anyways..."

Rin gazes at Len and mumbles into his ear, "I know that voice Len. He won't allow us to get rid of those other people's photographs. There's nothing more we can do..."

After a moral battle inside himself Len discerns that Kiyoteru helping them even a little is something they cannot turn down. Len rubs the back of his neck as he contemplates, _I wanted to help them…but I guess_ _those strangers on the wall are on their own. I'm sorry I wasn't able to help any of you...but my sister matters more..._

And so Len takes the lighter from Kiyoteru's hands and switches it on. Rin and Len went on to rip images of their forbidden love off the walls of the basement as Kiyoteru watches attentively ensuring they don't remove other photos that don't contain them.

A while passes and suddenly the floor is covered with images of the Kagamine twins.

Kiyoteru drags a metal garbage can from a corner of the cellar and orders, "Dump the pictures in here. I already have alcohol ready to spray them with so that they burn faster."

**A/N: Just another music shout-out for you all:**** YouTube Loudermilk – Ash to Ash watch?v=IDdA5qLuHUI**

Silently the flaxen-haired lovers obey and drop pile after pile of their blackmailed photographs into the metal bin. The cement floor is now cleaned of their incestuous snapshots. Hiyama walks to the garbage and pops open a bottle of his mother's wine draining its entirety into the trash that is bursting with snapshots of the Kagamine twins.

"Burn them…" Kiyoteru mutters, his arms crossed as he watches Len light a piece of paper throwing it into the cylinder container.

An immediate burst of flames startles Rin and Len as they witness images of their own faces shrinking into grey ashes of dust. The heat radiates from the metal bin onto their cheeks, the heat of hell. It's as though pieces of their guilt are the ones actually feeding the wrath of the flames, not the prints.

Rin stares up at Len while she clutches his arm and says, "…What happens if some else finds out again…What will we do then Len?"

"I…I don't know. We have to take those who know our secret one at a time I presume…" Len proclaims barely enough for her to hear over the crackling of the blaze.

Kiyoteru looks at them with downcast eyes and asks, "…Are you now satisfied…? My atonement is completed…"

Len gazes at Rin and questions, "I am satisfied…are you?"

"Yes." She replies gripping his arm tighter, but then questions towards Kiyoteru, "What about digital copies or backups?"

"Look in the garbage can." Kiyoteru responds.

At his request Rin peers slightly into the flames and notices a handful of flash-drives melting under the hotness of the fire. She acknowledges Kiyoteru's proclamation with an awkward shake of her head meaning 'thank you'.

Len glances over at Kiyoteru and announces gratefully, "I'm sorry we ended up this way, even though we used to be friends at one time. I think…in the long run however it's safe to say that although we aren't friends anymore…and haven't been for a long time, that we aren't enemies any longer…are we?"

"I will take that as a sign that my business with you both is now over….Let's not get wishy-washy Kagamine. After today, I will NEVER speak to either of you ever again…I cannot face those who are committing the act of incest without wanting to say something vile in response. Our ties must end here." Kiyoteru clarifies, his glasses reflecting an orange glare.

Len nods mutely but Rin on the other hand inquires to her twin, "Len…since he'll never talk to us again. Is it okay if I can have a moment alone with him?"

Her brother hesitates for a moment before he says, "Sure."

He then leaves the basement to go upstairs allowing his sister to say her final goodbyes as it is the least he can do for her.

Meanwhile Rin strolls towards her first boyfriend, placing her hands on his glasses removing them from his face.

She holds the dark frames in her hands as she asks, "Beneath these metal borders…were the black eyes that looked at me ever in love with me for who I was as a person…and not out of jealousy…?"

Kiyoteru grins at her, his expression heavy with melancholy as he clarifies, "…I hate to say it but at one time I did actually love you for who you were. I never had to try so hard in my life before not to feel something for another human being. You made me start to hate who I was, because your eyes only saw the good in me even though it was all a disguise. I lost the game I was playing with your heart as soon as you accepted the false me. I regret even now not being able to become the man I tried so hard to trick you with…"

Rin smiles faintly and questions, "I'm glad that it wasn't _all_ a lie…do you think you loved me more than Len during that time?"

"I believe his notion of love and my notion of love are different and henceforth cannot be compared to each other. I know for certain nevertheless that I loved you enough Rin…that I am willing to let you break the law. Because I realized that the way you are now is due to your past and thus out of your control. It is not my place to be whistle blower under these conditions…" Kiyoteru clarified gazing at the fire with his blackmail shrinking under the flames.

"Thank you for understanding Kiyoteru. I think you're not as bad as you feel you are. I don't know if you realize this, but when we were together when you laughed it was genuine. It was as though you were a carefree child. Please don't let this part of yourself fade away. It lives within all of us…and it is in your heart as well." Rin explains placing her palm in the middle of his chest.

She then says, "I hope for you only the best in life. Goodbye Kiyoteru…"

"…Goodbye Rin. I…I am sorry for all the pain that I have caused you…and for how we ended up…" he whispers.

"I am too…" Rin responds as she heads upstairs.

The twins depart heading back home and once Kiyoteru is sure he is by himself he goes to his art workroom. Slowly he unveils the painting he had drawn of Rin so many months ago, and lifts it off the easel. With painting in hand Kiyoteru returns to the basement of his large home.

The fire that is eating the photographs that he took of them is still raging violently.

Gradually Kiyoteru shoves the painting of Rin into the garbage bin and watches as she too goes up in flames, just as his relationship with her had. The portrait he made of her has her eyes closed.

He grins sadly at his work of art as it shrinks to nothing and mutters, "Even in my drawings does she not return my stare. Her eyes were always looking at someone else…they never belonged to me…did they…?"

One would think that their troubles of being caught were finally gone now that Kiyoteru had set them free, but this was in truth just the beginning of all their troubles…

**A/N: Sorry everyone that it's taken me so long...**** =[**

**Finals week for me was basically hell, but now it's over so everything's all good again. But my last day of school hasn't even arrived yet *mumbles a little*.**

***Ahem* Now where was I? Ah yes.**

**I made Kiyoteru's family f-ed up as you can see. His dad beats his mom, his mom is an addict, he sees Len with his "seemingly" perfect life resulting in jealousy. I based Kiyoteru off one of my bros. His family was EXACTLY like this. So almost everything I write comes from some form of experience.**

**Obviously you can see my dislike of drugs and alcohol which I have seen the worst outcomes of...death.-For all you youngins out there for the sake of being happy naturally (as in no use of drugs/alcohol/etc.)...just don't do them, simple as that. **

**And if you EVER feel pressured by others to partake in illegal activities just get the hell out of there. If people really cared about you they wouldn't encourage you to do anything bad at all. The decision is ultimately yours so stand your ground for your morals.**

**Sorry if I seem like I'm lecturing/preaching. I just don't like seeing young people die over things they can control b/c it reminds me of those I have loved and have lost. I feel like as someone who has a voice that I should speak about it… **

**Uh...well brushing my personal stories about dead friends/family aside did you expect Kiyoteru to have some humanity left? Yeah he's got a heart still beating down there even though it's as small as a marble. Holy cow I just realized the final climax is coming up. ****0_o ****I wonder what kind of reaction the last chapter will get.**

**By the way don't forget to do the poll above my profile page please! I won't blog on deviantart unless there are enough people reading otherwise I see no point. That's it for now I suppose...**

**Thanks for dropping in and please review!**** :P**


	27. Chapter 27: What He Said

**Chapter 27: What He Said**

Later that day (after Rin and Len's whole ordeal with Kiyoteru) they decided it was better to never portray acts of their affection for one another in public ever again. But this decision was implemented far too late for them.

A handful of people had suspicions vested in their conscience already, the Kagamine twins were out of luck…

But before that time would come, they had a few days left for each other to contemplate the concerns of their relationship.

One particular evening (when Len was playing some videogames afterschool) his sister came into his room and asked, "Wow. You're playing the first Halo? I haven't seen that game in forever…"

Len smirks at her and says, "Yeah I know right? I wanted to clear my head a little by playing I guess. I still can't believe that someone other than us knew about our…forbidden love…"

Rin sits next to him in front of the TV and inquires, "Can we play co-op together? It's been a really long time since we've done that…maybe it'll help me clear my mind too. For some reason Len, I can't stop thinking about what Kiyoteru said…"

Her brother puts down his Xbox controller, pauses the games then questions, "What do you mean? He let us go Rin. Why're you still hung up on what Kiyoteru told us? We don't have to worry about him anymore…"

She places her head on his shoulder while they sit staring at the paused TV screen before she asks, "Don't you remember what he mentioned?"

"Yeah I remember…but I'm trying not to think about it, because it puts me in an awful mood…" Len replies running his hand through her short locks.

His sister ignores this comment and replies verbatim of what Kiyoteru had told them, "So fucking your siblings is just a product of liking each other right? You're banging your little sister and you expect me not to tell the authorities?"

Len gazes at Rin with eyes that are filled with gloom, "…Forget about him Rin. We're…truly unique to this world. His judgment should mean nothing to us. Besides our love is something that doesn't have to obey the rules…because it's different from everyone else's love…you know that, right…?"

"I know…" Rin whispers placing her face into the crook of his neck before she proclaims, "But why are we risking jail and death to be together besides _just_ our love? His words are something I cannot ignore. It made me wonder: why do you love me so much Len? I'm not really anyone special…I'm average. There are thousands of girls with more personality than me…so why not them…?"

He's hurt by her words. Len bites his lower lip as he ponders, _She should know by now why I love her so god damn much. Is she doubting our bond?_

"Are you unsure of our love for each other? Or do you just want me to explain what I find in you…that I can't find in other girls…?" Len asks while holding Rin's cheeks in his hands.

"I want to know what makes me distinctive to you…that you can only want _me_ and nobody else…" Rin declares, her sad azure gaze tugging at his heart.

Len turns away shyly before he begins to explain, "Um…well I like your kindness and your neutrality I suppose.-Because you never try to pick sides when it comes to your friends. I love how artistically inclined you are, plus you happen to be the best artist that I know *laughs* even if all you use are crayons. But what I really like about you is how you have this natural ability to absorb other people's pain. You're almost like a sponge Rin. You take all the bad out of everyone's life and replace it with happy feelings…"

"Is that all? Tell me what you like about my habits…I don't feel like what you said makes me unique to other girls. Sorry if you feel like I'm asking too much of you Len. It's just that Kiyoteru made me wonder if you loved me for me and not as a result of our past…though I know you've told me you loved me regardless of what happened…" Rin whispers as she glances towards the window.

Len grins at her nervously before he stutters, "N-no, it's alright. I know exactly what you mean. Do we love because of our past or because we are sincerely meant to be together? And yes I've told you before and I'll say it a thousand times again if you want me to: I truly believe we love not because of Mr. Yamaha, but because we are honest to god…soul mates…"

Rin's expression is still uncertain of Len's explanation so he goes on to say, "…As for your habits I love how when you're nervous you bite the tip of your thumb.-Or how you're the only person I know that's obsessed with the color orange. I like that you're not afraid of standing your ground when I least expect it. Like when you asked Kiyoteru to burn those other photos or when you fought with me about being selfish those times you ran to the park. But overall your honesty is my favorite part about you Rin. Neru may have been more playful, but she was always afraid of questioning me. Instead she was bent on pleasing me, on being the ideal girlfriend. You on the other hand have broken my heart so many times I can't even count…which was agonizing…but it helped me realize that even broken people can still feel…"

She beams at her twin forlornly before she says in a hushed voice, "Thank you for thinking of me that way Len. I wish I could be more like you see me as. But I'm not as honest, brave, or kind as you may think…"

"Huh? What do you mean Rin?" her brother asks grabbing one of her wrists softly.

"I lie sometimes too. And I can only be brave when there are others around to support me. As for being kind the only reason I act nice is because…I'm afraid I won't have any friends. Especially if I'm not this cute and innocent girl that others would want to protect. I was always thinking: who would want me if I wasn't one of those things? So I tried to be all three and somewhere along the line I forgot who I really was. Am I the sweet Rin everyone thinks I am…or am I just a sham?-A doll who smiles when others want them to…" Rin announces as she stares at her wrist that is being held by her brother.

Len is shocked as he declares, "Is that how you really feel about yourself? Are you telling me that the girl I was so infatuated with was all a facade?"

"Yes…that girl doesn't even know who she is. Besides, how can a doll love another person if she cannot even love herself…?" Rin proclaims her pupils starting to water.

Len uses his index to wipe away some of her unfallen tears as he whispers, "You're not a doll. Dolls do not cry. You're human, you're alive…you have purpose. So even though you don't know who you are, you have the rest of your life to figure that out."

His twin doesn't reply back, instead tears are dropping from her blank face and into her lap.

Len recognizes then that words cannot soothe her, so he proceeds to turn over her wrist and say, "I…I had a dream once about you. The Rin in my dream told me it was okay to touch her…to make love to her. So I turned over her wrist to see if she was actually alive. And sure enough beneath her skin it looked as though real blood were pulsing under her veins. But I couldn't do it…if I was going to touch anyone, it only can be you. The Rin who doesn't know who she is…is still the Rin that I love nevertheless, do you understand…? I love you even though you don't know who you are…"

Rin lifts her bloodshot eyes to gaze at him then proclaims, "…Aren't you afraid of loving someone who has no true identity? What if I never find out who the real Rin is? What's worse is that what if by being together we produce a sort of personality crutch?-Like we can't be whole people without each other...don't you think that's pathetic Len? "

He understands this statement completely: can they survive without one another if they love too deeply, were they ever complete people to begin with, and doesn't their romance cripple them in some way (by making them too dependent on each other)?

Len stares down at their interconnected fingers and says, "Our love isn't pathetic…it was unforeseen, confusing, and frightening…but it's definitely not pathetic…don't you believe in us Rin?"

Her face wears a melancholic smile as she clarifies, "I believe in you…but I'm not so sure about me. Being with you makes me feel safe, but at the same time it reminds me of how weak I am…and how often I need you. What I'm trying to say is…who's going to protect you Len?"

"You are obviously…who else? If you want I'll be the damsel in distress while you play the knight in shining armor…" Len smirks then places his forearm over his head pretending to faint.

Finally she laughs. That's all he was really aiming for with his joke, but he receives so much more than that…

She props her body over his and whispers, "…A kiss to wake up the princess…"

Silently Rin pulls her head close to his and they join mouths. Then she closes her lids and rests her head on his chest as she wonders, _I'll find out who I really am one day, and maybe then instead of me always being the damsel I can be the knight…_

Consequently an unspoken language is being conveyed between them, thus they do not want to talk…they merely want to touch as it is the only way to soothe the joint grief they bear…

An ominous blue glow from the paused videogame screen tints their skin creating an atmosphere of both heartache and lust…and suddenly they both know that they want each other…

Len positions himself atop Rin while he digs his mouth onto hers without permission. Regardless of this Rin squirms with pleasure as she accepts his tongue. They tease each other with their lips placing light kisses every now and then and abruptly that familiar feeling arises in Len's shorts…

**A/N: This sex scene is definitely less romantic and more sex driven so if you're underaged I caution you before reading to turn back now. You've been warned! **

Rin notices his erection poking itself at her inner thigh so she takes his hand and places it on her breast as she gasps, "I-it's alright…let's go f-further…"

They completely forget about role playing as damsel and knight and jump right to it…

And so they remove their bottom sleeping clothes while they continue their passionate kissing. Len wants to keep caressing Rin, but her moans are becoming too much for him. He wants to be inside her so bad that he begins to shudder with exhilaration.

As a result before they proceed anymore Len hops up to close the lock to his room. Afterwards he grabs a few condoms from his drawers whereas Rin undresses herself completely and rests naked on the floor awaiting his body. Hurriedly he places the plastic casing over his manhood and nudges it sealed before he rests himself on top of her.

"R-ready?" he asks, his face burning with desire.

She nods yes and with quivering hands he guides the tip of the head into her opening. For some reason as soon as their bottom halves make contact Rin starts to tremble uncontrollably.

"Wha-what's wrong?" Len asks worriedly, sweat rolling down his torso.

Before she answers she cloaks her arms around his back and coos, "N-nothing…it's just that right now I'm so happy to be a-alive…y-you make me whole…"

Len prods himself deeper inside her as he pants, "Y-you don't need me to be complete…but I get what you're s-saying.-Us being together is more than being complete, it's like h-having a fuller soul…"

Rin laughs cheerfully before she replies, "E-exactly…I really _really_ l-love you Len…"

He responds back by giving her a hickey on the far side of her neck. As an outcome of this Rin's eyes widen in surprise…but she amazes him right back when she decides to do the same. She places her lips on his collar bone leaving her own bruised love mark. They grin at each other cherishing the taste of one another's flesh.

Len kisses her one last time before begins to thrust. He gazes down at her rosined cheeks while he hastens his waist more vigorously inside of her. Rin starts to emit lustful cries from her throat every time he pulls out. He repeats his pelvic gestures which tug at her walls forcefully as he goes.

Rin's plump lips are gaping wide almost like she's saying "no" when Len draws his shaft outside of her. Still without speaking he grabs Rin's left leg and hangs it over his shoulder dragging her body off the carpet while they make love.

Her elbows are getting rug-burn as a consequence, but the pain makes it somehow more exciting.-Like the roughness of their sex will help them forget all their troubles forever. She whimpers when he places his thumb over her clit and rubs it while he pummels her. Slowly Len begins to lose all of his thoughts…

The dullness of the world consumes him as he rides her which is likewise the exact same thing Rin is experiencing. They can't seem to concentrate on anything else but how good it feels and without warning Rin's pussy starts to convulse. She turns her head to the side drooling somewhat as she spasms in quick interims. His twin loses her ability to control her body's muscles. She gyrates her hips gripping his penis more securely inside of her.

Rin's almost near orgasm but not quite so she proclaims, "L-let me be on top. I want to m-make you feel good t-too…"

Len murmurs "okay" and lays himself on the carpet floor. Gradually she spreads her lower lips with her index and middle finger preparing herself for his cock. With one swift push she places Len within her. He gasps as does she. Now that Rin has rested her nerves she begins to sway her lower waist.

She trembles whilst moving her hips back and forth while she sits on his manhood. Len commences to tremor each time Rin draws her pussy over his dick outwards. His hands can't regulate themselves as they grab her breasts while she drives her body over his. He massages them steadfastly as Rin turns her hips to and fro. Her slim thighs stick to his skin as they go back and forth, the friction between their delicates creating sinful noises.

It was only their second time doing it, but despite their lack of experience their bodies already knew exactly what to do. So to steady her rocking Rin places her hands supportively on his torso as she straddles his shaft. Abruptly they become aware of the throbbing sensation that is rising in their loins.

Rin manages to pant tiredly, "Nnnnn…I'm s-so weak…m-my body is no longer my o-own…"

He notices how glazed-over she's become so Len chooses to take lead again.

This time he orders, "G-get on your hands and knees. S-so you won't get more rug burn…"

She complies and exposes her rear to him facing the ceiling. Len proceeds to separate her cheeks (which embarrasses her unknowingly to him). Then with his guiding palm he shoves his cock into her pussy to finish up the job. Rin ensues to claw at the carpet floor with trembling hands, her blond hair dripping with sweat. He grasps the hourglass curve of her lower abdomen and uses it to push her cunt onto his manhood over and over again.

Gradually Rin begins to moan so loudly that Len has to sputter out, "Shh…d-do you want the n-neighbors to hear?"

In response Rin covers her own mouth with both hands shutting her eyes tight involuntarily as she nears an orgasm. Without a second notice Len stops thrusting Rin as she's on all fours to pull her body upwards, holding it close to his so that her back is touching his pecks. He grabs her neck and licks it while he pounds her, using his free hand to explore the cavern of her mouth with his thumb. Meanwhile Rin can feel Len's breath grazing itself on the nape of her neck and suddenly she loses it at the sound of his grunts hitting her ear.

Unwillingly Rin reaches her highest point before him and trembles violently while arching her figure. Len takes advantage of her pulsing cunt by matching her throbbing with his pelvic motions. This time he cums just right after her. They start to see black circles floating in the air that aren't actually there. But before either of them can collapse Len tries to extend their climaxing as much as possible.

He persists to assault Rin's womb even after she's finished peaking because he knows she's still tender down there, therefore it should still feel good. With exhausted hips Len takes his last few thrusts allowing his cock to shoot the entirety of his load into Rin who's still quivering with ecstasy beneath him. He flops onto her and they rest for a while on the carpet floor before speaking.

Rin is relaxing on the ground, her bare skin twinkling with moisture as she says, "…If we keep doing it, maybe I should start taking birth control. What do you thing I should do Len?"

"It's your decision Rin. However that would probably be for the best long term. It's better to be safe than sorry right?" Len declares running his fingers down her exposed shoulder.

Suddenly Len observes her demeanor change from calm to solemn…then she says, "I don't think condoms are enough. I've been reading up on protection Len and I think that considering once we move out how often we'll be together, the risks of getting pregnant are too high without pills."

In response Len announces, "You have a valid point there. On my part maybe from now on even though I'm wearing protection I should remove myself from you before I cum, just for safety. We can't risk having a child together…"

She nods and the feeling of dread returns. The word 'child' is deathly upsetting and both of them comprehend then that their love not only has to be watched in respects to other people but to themselves. No infant should ever be born between them, it mustn't _ever_ happen…

What they didn't apprehend was that one of their worries had already risen to the surface…

**A/N: Yup the next chapter is about confrontation and the last chapter(s) will be about bittersweet resolve. That's the best I can put it I suppose without giving everything away. Summer school is starting late for me this year so I won't have to be bothered for a while. **

**Someone said Rin is stereotypically sweet and in many ways they are right. But I did that for a reason. The internet portrays her as an adorable and fragile character so I kept her that way (which is not anything and I do realize this), but because Len is the protagonist I decided to concentrate more on him than on her. **

**After all the person that drives the plot is mainly Len and his mind: it's mostly about his dreams and guilt, Rin is more like a symbol/extension of this rather than someone who can drive the story forward…at least in this plot context. But I can see the reason as to why people might dislike that, but that's fine too.**

**In fact I contemplated at the very beginning making her more intense and dark like Kiyoteru, but then I thought that everything about this story will be nothing but bleakness If I did that. Len needs a light at the end of the tunnel, she's that light. Who wants to reach the end of a tunnel only to find someone who has a rain cloud over them? Not me that's for sure.**

**I could do more character exploration on Rin's part, but thinking in her mindset is very difficult for me. However I will say that my next story has a much stronger female lead, in fact she's downright badass. Hopefully you'll like this new character more than Rin if you didn't like her in this story lol. Also I won't blog on deviantart since only a handful voted, thus I will remain a mystery man for the most part. The poll for this is now closed.**

**Well thanks for reading and please review!**** :D**


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